New Outlook

For the last 3 years like clockwork, I shut down my social media accounts at the beginning of the year and I focus and gain prespective. I'm not a facebooker but I love Instagram. I love checking out other people's pictures and I like looking for inspiration. BUT, I'll admit I started to  find myself comparing and wishing my life was like some of the people who posted happy faces daily.

Now, understand me well. I absolutely love my life. I love being Mommy, I LOVE writing and inspiring others. However, seeing people in these happy go lucky relationships was getting the best of me... Then it hit me. most of these people are in one sided relationships, hidden relationships and they lack the true essence of caring, love and appreciation.

As a single mother and woman, I made up in my mind to stay single until the right one comes along. Truth is, because I've been so guarded and always have my wall up, I haven't been the easiest person to approach. YES, I'm admiting it, I'm hard when it comes to love. I think I know so much and I'm so good but I'm not. In the back of my mind, I always hear, " You have a type Cheneka", " You just can't settle Cheneka"... Blah blaah blaaaaaaaaaah, conditioned thinking.

I never really thought about what would happen if I stepped out of that box and just started to live. Be open. Closed hands do not get fed and closed hearts never recieve the love they deserve. And let's not talk about the age thing( older men, younger men...blahhhhhhhh).

My last real relationship was close to 4 years ago. Don't get me wrong, I've entertained guy friends and a few I thought would lead to more but they didn't. I won't take the full blame for it not becoming more but I will say maybe I wasn't always easy or ready. Recently, one of my childhood/ teenage Best friends married the love of her life. He's an older guy and he treats her like the Queen she is. Their love excites me and gives me hope. And although she and I may not speak every single like we once did, I'm beyond happy for her and I wish them years of happiness and love.

But my question is.... Is it true? Are older men the way to go?
I've never really entertained the thought because I never wanted to feel like I'm looking for a daddy, someone to take care of me so to say. My therapist did say, alot of my trust issues stem from "Daddy Issues"... But, when the guys your age aren't acting right and they lie and are immature, the best thing to do is go OLDER, right??!!!

My  Atlanta Pastor ( LaBryant Friend) once said, " Sometimes your type is the reason you're by yourself".. I laughed when he said it but he was on the money with the statement. Now friends, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying we have to settle but sometimes we have to be willing to try something different. Step outside of the box and forget everything you've been conditioned to think and believe. Good men are everywhere, we just have to be willing to let them be the man..

PJ Morton sings it best in his song Fly Away~

"What would you say if I asked you to come with me, would you forget the details and all the  technicalities?
Cover your eyes take my hand and follow me, we could fly away..
Don't you worry about a thing, let your mind go free and forget everything. I'll be the wind under your wings... So we can fly away" La La La La.....

One of my last post of 2017, I spoke dating and marriage over my life. I'm not getting any younger but I do know I have love in my heart and I would love to share it with someone... I'm ready to fly away....

Be open this year in all things pertaining work, love and finances. It's time that we all live the lives we were destined for.

"Psalms 32:8, I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye"...


Signed,
Cheneka is Changing

Lessons...

LESSONS.....

I've learned that many of life's lessons cannot be found in the classroom nor in texts books. Some of the most amazing lessons come in the form of living. Once you've mastered living for a living, nothing else will matter.

I consider myself to be a great writer and sometimes I use one word to describe what I'm going through/feeling. It's never a dig at anyone, it's actually me revealing my truths in the form of living through words. Although most of my day is spent helping others and being mom; my best lessons come in the way my children and others respond to me.

One of the most valuable, learn to appreciate yourself and the journey. We're all wired differently. Some of us WILL change the world, while others will help others to see the good in the world. The goal is to help someone else along the way. I used to think, what I shared didn't matter. I mean, I was never sharing in hopes of getting people to notice me. I share because I've learned alot during my 38( well really 28 years because the 1st 10 years I wasn't fully aware of who I was) years of life. Then one day it happened. Someone shared with me, they found strength and hope through my words. In MY words I thought?

Then a still voice said, "Why NOT your words"?? Whew, I then knew it was bigger than just sharing but it was imperative that I live what share.

Life has taught me, in all things remain truthful to yourself. I mean, God already knows so do your part by living a life that's always acceptable and pleasing. I'll admit I thought it was important to be a people pleaser. But oh when I realized what they thought or even think of me doesn't matter; the chains that held me were broken. At the end of the day, NO 1 truly has the power to judge. Yes, we live in an overly opinionated society but the truth is, your lessons and life will not mirror that of anyone else.

Your journey,

Your life,

Your lesson,

Your story.. PERIOD

I've been feeling the need to remind myself and others your best life is the gift of life itself. Live and learn

Learn and share

 Be okay with how some lessons turn out, you'll understand why the more you live.

Here's my last and final truth for the night... ( i think)...

I've been single for quite sometime now, ok a few years lol... Am I tired of the single life, hecks yeah BUT the lesson in this isn't for me but my daughter and son.

The lesson for My daughter: I can't allow her to see numerous men walking in and out of my life. I'm her teacher and what I live she will mirror. I'm living with her in mind all the time. No, I'm not teaching her that women do not need a husband, I'm teaching her to wait until HE seeks you.

The lesson for MY son: Women are priceless( he asked the meaning of priceless today ) and because they're valuable they are never to be mishandled. I cannot allow him to see me being mishandled as it'll give him the wrong idea. I'm teaching him, chose one and give her you're all.

Lessons.. Never stop living and you'll never stop learning.

Signed,

Cheneka the Teacher

And we say Goodbye...

Yesterday evening was quite entertaining to say the least. Like always girlchild and boychild had a disagreement but it ended differently this go round. My son decided because of lack "RESPECT", he was going to run away. He packed his bookbag with his toothbrush, pajamas and all of his treasured hotwheels cars( he has about 100).

Once I noticed what he was trying to do, I stopped what I was doing and I got on his level and talked to him. "Son, I would be extremely sad if you left how would you survive"? For every question I asked, his 6 year old little mind had a formulated, well thoughout answer, even down to his survival mechanism and his way of escape( calling uber).

Once I got him settled and unpacked, we sat together and watched a few of his favorite shows together.I reminded him that he's loved and I would be heart broken if he left.  I left the living area and retreated to my room. Aha peace & quiet. As the night settled, I went back into the living room to check on him and he had fallen fast asleep on the couch holding his tablet.

This morning, I woke early. It was quiet and during those times its when God speaks to me best. After I prayed, I began to think of all the men and women I know who pack up and run. They run from responsibilities, they run to get away from people, they run to avoid issues, they run from change. The list goes on and on... Why is it so easy to run? What in life is so hard to face? As I replayed the disagreement between my children, my son ran because he felt my daughter didn't respect him. I thought, he's 6 what does he know about respect? And it hit me, he knows enough in his mind when he's not being heard and valued. He knows enough to leave a situation where he's not ok. How many people do we know who do this? I can name a few. Hell, if we're honest we can all see a piece of ourselves in bad situations where we decide to leave.

And like a ton of bricks, it hit me.  As adults, we say goodbye prematurely without fully thinking it through. And because of that, in turn pass the "Goodbye" trait to our children.  I know during my transition from Boston to Atlanta, I kept reminding myself I wasn't leaving out of fear but I was leaving what was familiar to branch out and see what else the world had to offer. Yes, there was some hurt assocaiated with it but 8 years later, I can honestly say it was for my good 100%..

(Figurtively speaking) Had my son left, it would've been extremely hard for him. There was no bank account attached to his uber app, he had no food, no money and he didn't attempt to talk it through. THAT'S exactly what adults do.

So my lovies, today I challenge you to no longer clamour up but face those goodbyes. Face those hard places, Face your fears, your hurts, misunderstandings and even lies that may have been told on you or even to you. I've learned, in order for me to be WHOLE, I had to and have to face issues that I would so much rather avoid. Is it to rehash old wounds? Not at all. Who really wants to pull a scab off  a sore? Not me BUT if its going to corrct the issue and allow for the proper healing to take place, I'm for it.

After my AHA moment, I had to face a goodbye this morning. Did I want to? Not really. did it cause an uprorar, slightly but it did open the door for healing and peace. This adult life isn't all that bad once you bagan to face goodbyes, live a life of honesty and truth and allow the rivers of peace to flow in your space.

We're only as WHOLE as the last goodbye we didn't allow ourselves to heal from. Broken still works but only when you've found a way to put yourself together again, stronger.

This road isn't always easy but there's always a lesson... Don't say goodbye if it can be fixed. Only say goodbye and mean it when it will no longer affect you...


Signed,
The page has turned~~

I chose Victory....

I remember always thinking, when I have children they'll have their father's last name, they'll have this, they'll have that. All because I do not carry my father's last name.

Did it effect me as a child? Sure it did. Did it define me as an adult? No it did not. 

I remember growing up always remembering things from my childhood that were always not good. Yes I had fun as a kid but to me, it wasn't the fun that other kids talked about. 

Did it effect me as a child? Sure it did. Did it define me as an adult? No it did not. 

One of my biggest lessons, biggest spiritual breakthroughs came in the form of forgiveness. Yes I've heard many people say, you have to forgive so You'll heal. While that maybe true, I soon learned not only do you have to heal but you also have to forgive yourself so that you can move one.  

I know, why are you forgiving yourself? You're forgiving yourself because, if you're anything like me, you carried the weight of not feeling good enough. You carried the weight of being mad at yourself, you carried the weight of whatever was done against you. 

It's so second nature to carry extra baggage when you don't have too. We pick it up and it becomes part of our genetic make up. We carry being the victim almost like its a badge. 

I was hurt

I was ignored

I was talked about 

I was laughed at

I was judged

I suffered.....

You become tired of it but you don't know how to drop it. You want to smile but you lost it being mad at yourself because of how someone made you feel. 

When and how do you take back ownership of your own life? You forgive yourself and cut the excess  off! Is it hard? 

Yes it's hard.

Will it be easy? No it won't. 

But will it be worth it?  Yes it will. 

My lovies, let today be the day you chose YOUR victory. Let today be the start of something new for you. No more self pity, no more blaming, no more carrying the weight of the world. Carry your own stuff, that's all you're fully responsible for anyway. 

Join me in choosing, VICTORY!! 

Signed, 

Simply Forgiven, Simply Victorious, Simply Cheneka 

But HE knows..

We all need great friends. I always thought men and women could never be friends without sleeping together. When I was younger, if you talked to a guy and he had a girlfriend, you were trying to steal him. If you had a friend who was married, your name came up in an argument because you want him.. The lists go on and on..  

Oh have I proven each one wrong. Some of my best friendships are with men. One of my longest standing friendships is with a guy. One of my first friends when I 1st moved to Boston and lived on Columbia Rd. To this day( and he's married) we're thick as thieves. I give him a woman's perspective when he and the Mrs have a disagreement and he gives me the male perspective when I'm receiving mixed signals from guys I met. 

I'm appreciative to all of my male friendships. I've learned that it's okay to have male friends. Just this week, another close male friend and I discussed boundaries. And whether or not we believe we should have them; boundaries are sometimes needed. They keep you from making choices you'll later regret. 

Not only do our husbands, boyfriends and guy friends need us but to some degree we need them too. 

Aside from my brothers, some of my most sound advice and support, comes from my guy friends. 

True friendships are hard to come by. Especially friendships of the opposite sex. We determine the level of respect and appreciation given in these friendships. I must admit, if you think you may be attracted to a guy friend, do not cross those lines and try and build a relationship. Not that I've ever done it but I'm sure if it doesn't work you can't go back to just kicking it! 

Today, I stand firm in being a confidant, good listener, no crap taker in my guy friendships. Sometimes, the pill is hard to serve when you have to speak harsh truths but if the friendship is true, you get thru it, you grow and remain tight!! 

Shout out to my homies who appreciate the kid.. I appreciate and love y'all too!! 

Signed, 

Simply Thankful for my guy homies!! 

But who are YOU anyway....

Last week, I witnessed an acquaintance suffer with mistaken identity.. The sad thing is, in no way did he resemble the actual culprit. It has bothered me for a number or reasons. 

He's a black man and our men suffer enough and two, he now has to explain to others that it wasn't him. This could cause problems for him in the workplace and in his home life. People are so insensitive at times. 

As I pondered on this blog, my mind took a trip down memory lane and I looked at some of my old blogs. I've always considered myself to be a great writer but that "trip" proved a point to me. I'm not the writer I once was. And to attempt to identify myself with the old Blogger, would do me no justice. 

I've grown, matured, lived a little, witnessed a lot and it has molded me into who I'm becoming. My yesterday's identity has nothing on who I become daily. 

The thing about our identity is, as we become more of who God has created us to be, we lose and shed what other's have perceived us to be. 

Learning and becoming my true self has been an amazing journey. I've found my Strength, my Peace. I no longer worry or care about other's thoughts or what they consider to be who I am. Honestly speaking, you can't tell me who I am because I'm evolving DAILY... Whew! We change daily. 

And while we can never change our genetic makeup, birth DNA; we can changed ourselves physically, emotionally and mentally. 

Today my loves, embrace the True you. Only YOU know who and what matters to you. YOU know your truths and your untruths. You know your plans for the future and you know the road you plan to take( unless God throws in a monkey wrench, He's Good for that lol). Live and embrace you. I mean it's YOUR identity at stake.. Be you, be True!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka".... Have I changed so drastically and you've remained the same"... Tamia( Stranger in my House)... 

Here Waiting....

As I continue on my journey of cleansing myself, I've found myself truly getting in touch with my inner feelings and truths. Prayer has definitely become my best friend. I've always prayed but now I. PRAY! I pray about everything.. 

As I pray and shed weights I no longer want to carry, I find myself fighting for what I believe I truly deserve in this life. Yeah, we all deserve to be happy but are we truly happy within ourselves? 

Everyday I fight for MY happiness. I make my own reasons to smile, I make myself go harder for myself and my children. In doing so, I truly believe I'm opening the door for my "Forever Prince", to do the same. 

I refuse to lie but I'm ready to finally Love someone just as much as they love me. The hardest part of this journey has been releasing old feelings. It's crazy how we carry other people well after they are gone. I used to always say, " no matter what I'm still going to love you". Whelp, those days are long gone and OVER. My truth is, I can't carry a love for anyone who does not carry a love for me. I cannot fight for anyone who is not fighting for me. Believe it or not, there's 2 sides on every street! Ahhhhh, that means this is a two way street. Not just your way or my way but a two way.. Give a lot, take less..( let that sit for a bit)

Life & Love is way more than words but it's followed by actions. The actions I produce show others where to meet me. If you can't meet me where I am, then truth be told, I'm not the one for you.. 

So here's to my truths setting me free.. Here's to me releasing unwanted baggage. Here's to Loving Me like there is no tomorrow. Here's to finding balance with life, motherhood & love.. 

I'm finally seeing the benefits of my self cleanse. I'm evolving.. Thank you Cheneka for loving Cheneka enough to get it right. 

My loves, I challenge you to get it right. First get it right with yourself and everything else will follow suit. Tomorrow has the potential to be greater if we utilize every minute given to us today~ CTH™

Signed, 

I'm Ready for It~ 

Matters of the heart...

I have this thing called MY Truths.. My Truths are exactly what they are MY truths. It's a mechanism I use to share my innermost secrets and thoughts without caring if I'm judged. 

I've experienced many responses when I share my truths. Sometimes they're well received and sometimes, they are taken in a manner different than how I meant. 

As I'm growing older I'm learning that it's best to voice MY truths or walk around carrying them with me. To this day, there are people who I'll never share my truths with. Not for fear of being judged or misunderstood but that door was never opened or I've never felt comfortable or safe enough to share. 

Maybe it's just me but I believe we encounter people for specific reasons. I no longer beat myself up trying to figure it out, I let the Ahh Haaaa moments take my breathe away or teach me a lesson. When I share my truths, almost NEVER am I looking for receiver to act on it. I just want them to hear me, understand it and feel MY truth. Like it? Totally their choice. Appreciate it? Again, totally their choice. 

My Loves, learn the importance of being honest about how or what you feel. Accept that sometimes people will not understand and it's definitely ok. In time, if it's meant they'll get it. 

I challenge you to 1st be honest with yourself and honesty with everyone else will come easy.. Find a way to voice your truths, you'll feel better about Life. 

Signed, 

I Give You My Truths

Look at Your Girl...

So check it, I've struggled with being comfortable in my skin before. 

I wanted a nose job, disliked my wrinkled hands, contemplated a Breast reduction and fought with having the "banana ring"... You know typical woman stuff.. 

As I grew older, I began to process my thoughts. Was I trying to fit in or did I really need to fix my self imposed issues? 

I'm learning to understand my body and the things I put in it. If I want to lose weight or be comfortable in my skin, I 1st have to love ME. And I do, wholeheartedly with my entire being. I'm kinda a Big Deal, dope if I do say so myself! Lol 

A while back, I purchased this shirt. When I went to finally wear it, it was to small. Yikes! I couldn't button in for the life of me. Today, as I was cleaning and preparing clothes to pack for this weekend, I glanced at the shirt. I thought to myself, you've been healthy, working out, drinking water, no sweets! Go for it! So I did and look atcha girl( please ignore the hair, it'll be laid tomorrow😊 tho) 

Does the running man, I can fit it! HaHaHaHaHa!! Go me!! 

It's the small victories that remind me, girl you're alright! 

Signed, 

Let me get cute and wear this Shirt!! 

Gentle Men STILL exist

"There's beauty in appreciating yourself. When you've mastered self Love, it makes it easy for others to love you". ~CTH

Today was different. Instead of sitting alone, I had company. Instead of strolling with my little people, he was there. Instead of taking pics and sending them to my sissy for her opinion, someone was right there with me. 

I spent the early part of my Saturday with a Gentleman. Nothing specular because we decided early on it was NOT a date. Lol

Just 2 single parents, who met in an unlikely place and developed a "friendship". Two parents who found enjoyment in talking about our children, our families our personal "likes" and "dislikes". 

A gentle Man and a pretty woman. Us. What should've just been decaf tea and a vanilla chai at Starbucks; turned into Atlanta Bread Company,  Hobby Lobby, Old Navy, ULTA, 2 shoe stores and Pet Smart( yes Pet Smart). And while we walked, talked and avoided horrible drivers, it was a much needed stress release I'm sure we both needed. 

 I'm sure we could've continued to walk and talk but parenthood was in the back of each of our minds. We reluctantly ended our afternoon and began the process of returning to LIFE. 

There were no wet kisses and googly eyes exchanged, just an embrace that reassured me, the pretty woman that gentlemen are not out of style, they still exist and smell hella good!! 

Maybe next time, it'll be a date! 

Signed, 

My Mr. Kind Sir( wink)  

I'm a BEAST at Both....

Nothing Personal... 

Had I been warned that at 36 ( yup in 13 days) I'd be a single Momm, running a successful business, Co-Founder of a Women's Organization and soon-2-be Published Author, I would've laughed and said, " Not Me".  The way I envisioned my life and the way it has played out has been nothing less of a best selling biography. Full of lessons learned, tears, highs & lows, smiles and growth. Smiles: let me tell you why I smile. Chelia and Matthew bring me joy. I'm smiling and feeIing like crying at the same time lol. Smiling because I look at them and regardless of how they've entered this world, they bring excessive amounts of happiness. Crying because it's hard some days raising them alone but there's an unexplainable amount of strength and courage deposited into my life daily. I look at them and know, I cannot lose. I may quit( in my mind) but the way my reward is set up, I keep going. 

Some days, I have moments where I want to scream and yell because this is not how life was supposed to be. Then there are other moments where, I put on my Super Momm cape and keep it moving. Just like we groove to our fave song, which by the way I'm digging Jasmine Sullivan's "Masterpiece, Mona Lisa", we groove and maneuver through life. 

Yes it's hard but we can do it. 

I think of my business and the families we serve. The phrase, "we attract people who are like us", is extremely true. While KISS serve 2 parent families, a majority of our clients are single moms. Just like me, they are Rising and Grinding. There's no room for the weak when you're a Mom. 

Today, I challenge all of my readers, followers and mommy friends to keep going. Don't give up. Motherhood is personal but business never is. 

Keep striving and pushing. I've learned that as hard as it is, it's also rewarding. To know that MY experiences as a Momm are helping me to help other Momms through my Business is a gift that I never asked for but I appreciate it daily. 

Ok guys ( thank you to my guys who support my blogs) and gals, saddle up and let's tackle this Tuesday.. 

Signed, 

Motherhood Ain't for Sissies

Broken But it still Works...

Gosh I Love my children. When you become a parent, you learn early on that their needs are important and must be met. However, balance becomes key in maintaining a level of sanity for yourself. 

I remember like yesterday when I began contemplating relocating. My daughter's father and I were beyond broken. Restraining orders, police calls, neighbors becoming involved, guns drawn: this environment was no longer safe to raise a little girl. And while I so deeply wanted to wallow in my feelings, I had to do what was right for her. 

While it may have seemed selfish to up and move over 1100 miles away, the whole time her safety was MY main concern. As I look back, I had become so stuck in my daily routines that I lost myself. I was so lost that I didn't know I was lost. I had gained so much weight and I carried a fake smile although I was so hurt on the inside. 

I was good at it too. Until one day, I finally broke. This was not what my life had become. I needed to find Me...Again

Slowly but surely I did. I left what was comfortable and familar to embark on My Journey, with Chelia as my main focus. 

When I learned the importance of my strength and tapped into it, I found all the courage I needed. I often wondered( and still do) was my decision to leave the right thing? 

I see the growth in both of my children( I now have a 3 year old from another failed relationship) and I know it was. 

Yes, they miss their fathers but in order for me to be sane and give them the lives they both need, I have to take care of me too. 

Today, my heart is with all of the dads, moms, daughters and sons who feel broken. When phone calls are not enough and the tears seem to flow, find the courage and strength to know that you're still loved and appreciated.

Visits become your only sense of connection and boy can that hurt. Wouldn't it be so easy for all the broken families to live in the same state and be one big ole happy extended family? Yea, NO. Lol

I have so many friends who have dealt with divorce and the common denominator is, the safety of the children and their sanity. 

Just because one person ( or 2 in my case) broke you, leave room for love to find you again. Will it take a while? Yes it will. Will you want to give up? Yes. But when you least expect it, love will find its way in and it'll be perfect. Not just for you but the children too. 

Broken still works and as long as it works that's the proof that the hurt didn't kill you. 

Signed, 

My Heart guides Me 

Do It Again

Sometimes I feel I'm a very great listener and sometimes, I find myself getting to involved in what I'm listening too that I share about me.

A sisterfriend called yesterday just to vent. I listened intently. At the end of the conversation she asked, " Nek what would you do if you were me"? ( insert sound of skreaching brakes with an abrupt halt) Why me? I thought out loud( so loud that she says) because it seems like you have it together... Oh( while becoming humbled and eyes filling with water) " I don't have it together and some days I so wish I did". 

Her:But Nek, I never see you cry.

Me: you probably won't because I chose to do it behind closed doors in the comfort of my own home. Do people bring me to that point? Oh yes, but I can't let them see me break. 

Her: so is crying a weakness?

Me: of course not. It's a cleanse, well for me anyways. But I chose to cry in my secret place because if to many people see you cry or hear that faint tremble in your voice, it's a wrap. 

Her: well yelling is my thing and when I feel like someone is coming for me, I tend to eleviate my voice. 

Me: that used to be me but it's in that moment you kill them with your level headed reaction. I always think, how would my children respond if they see mommy acting a fool. 

Her: I've let so many people walk over me that sometimes I feel they already have the advantage. 

Me: You will soon become tired of being a doormat and at a disadvantage. But YOU have to become tired. YOU have to decide that you matter and that you're just as important. Your words matter, your feelings matter and so do your thoughts. Practice using the word I and speaking in the form of I, it will do wonders for your self esteem. Learn to just worry about you because at the end of the day, you cannot speak for anyone else. 

Her: see!! See what I mean. You have it together. 

Me: I don't, I promise. I've just lived a little, cried a lot and learned that each day is a fresh new slate and the chance for me to do it again just better... 

Signed,

Get up & Do it Again 

Pee U, that STINKS...

Most of you know I'm a Mother. I have 2 little ones. A diva style 7 year old daughter and a 6month old little boy who's beyond active!! I love it.. What sucks the most is when they both use the bathroom. My daughter has her own bathroom that's shared with the guest and my son, well you get it,,His bathroom travels with him. But once its on him, he screams and moves like a mad babyboy til I change him.

I'm quick to yell to my daughter, " Close your bathroom door", and with my son I change him as soon as I smell it. I was once told, my sense of smell is amazing..

I said all that to say, Can u smell a bad situation from a mile away? and what do you do?
Life is teaching me, when it smells bad throw it out. Same with anything that's toxic.. When it smells it smells: PEE U!! The more we keep stinky stuff around, the more it lingers and gets into the atmosphere. And there's nothing worse that the smell of dirty friends, dirty relatives, dirty lies and untruths.

And sometimes, we add to the stinky smell by not ridding ourselves of it on contact. We can't say we've changed when we welcome the mess daily.

I remember there was this girl in my 4th grade class we called'Stinky Tanya(name was changed for this piece) I mean this chick smelled. Instead of us helping, we made it worse and crushed her as a person. Kids are honest but yet the boldness we possessed hurt her in the process.
As adults, if we could learn to be bold about the truth and stop pacifying people's feelings, there would be less stinki"NESS" floating around..
If its a toxic friend, throw it out
If its a toxic phone call, hang up
If you walk in on a toxic conversation, leave!
Let's stop adding more stink to the Stink..( that's funny)

Pee u, that STINKS and I refuse to smell it!
How ironic, my son just pooped.. Shoot! Here I come son!