Hurt people MUST Heal....

My time in Huntsville has finally come to an end. It’s been filled with lots of lessons and above all Patience. I’ve wanted to jump the gun on many occasions and leave but a block was placed each time until NOW. I couldn’t appreciate the blocks when they were there but now..... Whew! I’m better because I had to pick them up and learn the lesson while removing the sting of being here.

This morning as I’ve read through 4 years worth of blogs, I can honestly say I had to come thru Huntsville. In my early 30’s, I dated someone from here. I even intended to move here at some point. Who knew life ( GOD) already knew I’d come thru this place and it would NOT be with Mr. September!

As I reflected on life and my growth, I’m thankful for each person I’ve encountered. I’m thankful for the relationships that have truly lasted a lifetime and I’m even thankful for the ones that have been brief, for there was a lesson more than anything else.

I must say, while in HSV I’ve encountered a lot of hurt and broken people. Just recently, I was told of a conversation that was had about me. I’m sure it was meant to break me but it truly made me laugh and work harder towards my exit plan.

I believe we have to hear things in order to process how people truly feel about us. I’ve been called many things but to hear “ you ain’t shyt” was low....Whew that’s an all time low. And while I could’ve chose to blog about many things, I just want to end the year on this note.

It’s okay to seek HELP! There are so many people who are walking around bleeding out on others because they haven’t found ways to stop their own bleeding. In turn, they lash out hurtful and insensitive words because that’s all they know. They respond with hurt because they’ve been hurt.
They’re negative and even a bit selfish... if nothing else, I’ve learned now more than ever; we cannot carry the hurt and baggage of others. And if we continue to stay in that type of environment we’ll conform.

I like a good Challenge. So my lovies here goes,
I challenge each of you finish 2019 with dropping baggage that isn’t yours. Drop words curses, remove friendships/ relationships that are toxic, leave dead end jobs that will not produce growth and LOVE YOURself like only you can.

Life happens extremely fast. Do not let another 10 years pass and you’re  still in the same cycle. BREAK it! Only you can change what you do not like and only you can decide when enough is enough!

If you don’t know, you now do!

ChenekaT the Blogger is back!

I’ve laid low for a while to rebuild, refocus, rest and renew. Sometimes we have to be strong enough to admit we need a little help but we also have to know when we’ve gotten all we can and it’s time to STAND again!

It’s Wednesday and guys we’ve made it. You’re better than anything that’s trying to hurt you and tear you down! Believe it!!!

Take time to heal... and in healing it doesn’t always mean making old relationships new again. To heal  means to pull off the band aids and let fresh air hit the wound. If we keep covering it up, we’re not breathing thru it. We’re not acknowledging it. We’re aware but we haven’t tackled it.

Fight thru for your happiness and work even harder to heal your hurt. You’re no good to anyone if you’re 1st no good to yourself!

Thanks everyone who has been on this 2 year journey with me while in HSV. It’s time for me to get back to living!!

Sincerely,
The Blogging Queen,
ChenekaT

Tunes to the Soul..

This past week has been filled with smiles and music.  MUSIC has reminded me, Life Is GOOD, everything isn't worth a fight,thought of, appreciated and above all the most beautiful girl in the world #Prince ( I'm sure you are too)..

When you least expect it, the right song will speak to you, make you cry, make you dance and invoke feelings that you forgot existed.

Sometimes, music will shed light on situations and help you look at it from a different perspective.

This week, music has allowed me to revisit friendships and give old things a new try. ~ Beyonce'
" Let's Start Over"..

Different genres of music speaks to the different parts of Cheneka.

Gospel, keeps me grounded in God.
CCM, helps me to worship God freely, unrestrained, on my terms
RB, speaks to the black girl who loves LOVE but HATE it at the same time
Old School ( New Edition, Bobby Brown etc...) speaks to the Northern girl in me..
Rap, speaks to the around the way girl I Am ( sometimes...) popping gum, sitting on the stoop, big hoop earrings at least 2 pair, Fendi carrying Cheneka.
Love Ballards, make me feel close to the one I Love& secretly crush on.

I LOVE MUSIC....

A while back, I was engaged in a conversation with my 13 year old daughter and 14 year old neice. They expressed that the music I like is old and their new age music is where it's at.. Gosh, only if they knew about Salt & Pepper, Karen White, Johnny Gill, The Boyz, Heavy D, Wu Tang Clan, Method Man, Lost Boyz, Heather Headley..just to name a few.

Yes, music change with the times but good classic music new ever goes away.

This weekend, turn on your favorite Pandora stations and mix it up. Feel the words, connect with the words, appreciate them and dance, sway or cry. Just promise to ~ Remember the Music " Empire"..

Signed,
Cheneka Sings

New Outlook

For the last 3 years like clockwork, I shut down my social media accounts at the beginning of the year and I focus and gain prespective. I'm not a facebooker but I love Instagram. I love checking out other people's pictures and I like looking for inspiration. BUT, I'll admit I started to  find myself comparing and wishing my life was like some of the people who posted happy faces daily.

Now, understand me well. I absolutely love my life. I love being Mommy, I LOVE writing and inspiring others. However, seeing people in these happy go lucky relationships was getting the best of me... Then it hit me. most of these people are in one sided relationships, hidden relationships and they lack the true essence of caring, love and appreciation.

As a single mother and woman, I made up in my mind to stay single until the right one comes along. Truth is, because I've been so guarded and always have my wall up, I haven't been the easiest person to approach. YES, I'm admiting it, I'm hard when it comes to love. I think I know so much and I'm so good but I'm not. In the back of my mind, I always hear, " You have a type Cheneka", " You just can't settle Cheneka"... Blah blaah blaaaaaaaaaah, conditioned thinking.

I never really thought about what would happen if I stepped out of that box and just started to live. Be open. Closed hands do not get fed and closed hearts never recieve the love they deserve. And let's not talk about the age thing( older men, younger men...blahhhhhhhh).

My last real relationship was close to 4 years ago. Don't get me wrong, I've entertained guy friends and a few I thought would lead to more but they didn't. I won't take the full blame for it not becoming more but I will say maybe I wasn't always easy or ready. Recently, one of my childhood/ teenage Best friends married the love of her life. He's an older guy and he treats her like the Queen she is. Their love excites me and gives me hope. And although she and I may not speak every single like we once did, I'm beyond happy for her and I wish them years of happiness and love.

But my question is.... Is it true? Are older men the way to go?
I've never really entertained the thought because I never wanted to feel like I'm looking for a daddy, someone to take care of me so to say. My therapist did say, alot of my trust issues stem from "Daddy Issues"... But, when the guys your age aren't acting right and they lie and are immature, the best thing to do is go OLDER, right??!!!

My  Atlanta Pastor ( LaBryant Friend) once said, " Sometimes your type is the reason you're by yourself".. I laughed when he said it but he was on the money with the statement. Now friends, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying we have to settle but sometimes we have to be willing to try something different. Step outside of the box and forget everything you've been conditioned to think and believe. Good men are everywhere, we just have to be willing to let them be the man..

PJ Morton sings it best in his song Fly Away~

"What would you say if I asked you to come with me, would you forget the details and all the  technicalities?
Cover your eyes take my hand and follow me, we could fly away..
Don't you worry about a thing, let your mind go free and forget everything. I'll be the wind under your wings... So we can fly away" La La La La.....

One of my last post of 2017, I spoke dating and marriage over my life. I'm not getting any younger but I do know I have love in my heart and I would love to share it with someone... I'm ready to fly away....

Be open this year in all things pertaining work, love and finances. It's time that we all live the lives we were destined for.

"Psalms 32:8, I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye"...


Signed,
Cheneka is Changing

Lessons...

LESSONS.....

I've learned that many of life's lessons cannot be found in the classroom nor in texts books. Some of the most amazing lessons come in the form of living. Once you've mastered living for a living, nothing else will matter.

I consider myself to be a great writer and sometimes I use one word to describe what I'm going through/feeling. It's never a dig at anyone, it's actually me revealing my truths in the form of living through words. Although most of my day is spent helping others and being mom; my best lessons come in the way my children and others respond to me.

One of the most valuable, learn to appreciate yourself and the journey. We're all wired differently. Some of us WILL change the world, while others will help others to see the good in the world. The goal is to help someone else along the way. I used to think, what I shared didn't matter. I mean, I was never sharing in hopes of getting people to notice me. I share because I've learned alot during my 38( well really 28 years because the 1st 10 years I wasn't fully aware of who I was) years of life. Then one day it happened. Someone shared with me, they found strength and hope through my words. In MY words I thought?

Then a still voice said, "Why NOT your words"?? Whew, I then knew it was bigger than just sharing but it was imperative that I live what share.

Life has taught me, in all things remain truthful to yourself. I mean, God already knows so do your part by living a life that's always acceptable and pleasing. I'll admit I thought it was important to be a people pleaser. But oh when I realized what they thought or even think of me doesn't matter; the chains that held me were broken. At the end of the day, NO 1 truly has the power to judge. Yes, we live in an overly opinionated society but the truth is, your lessons and life will not mirror that of anyone else.

Your journey,

Your life,

Your lesson,

Your story.. PERIOD

I've been feeling the need to remind myself and others your best life is the gift of life itself. Live and learn

Learn and share

 Be okay with how some lessons turn out, you'll understand why the more you live.

Here's my last and final truth for the night... ( i think)...

I've been single for quite sometime now, ok a few years lol... Am I tired of the single life, hecks yeah BUT the lesson in this isn't for me but my daughter and son.

The lesson for My daughter: I can't allow her to see numerous men walking in and out of my life. I'm her teacher and what I live she will mirror. I'm living with her in mind all the time. No, I'm not teaching her that women do not need a husband, I'm teaching her to wait until HE seeks you.

The lesson for MY son: Women are priceless( he asked the meaning of priceless today ) and because they're valuable they are never to be mishandled. I cannot allow him to see me being mishandled as it'll give him the wrong idea. I'm teaching him, chose one and give her you're all.

Lessons.. Never stop living and you'll never stop learning.

Signed,

Cheneka the Teacher

With Loving Kindness Have I drawn Thee.......

My lovies!! It's been a while. Life has bought about numerous changes for me. Good, Bad and indifferent but still I thrive to be the best version of Cheneka. There's so much I could say but I'll keep it to a minimum...

I guess you're wondering who are the 2 women in the picture. One is Mother Kelley(COGIC) and the other is longtime church friend from back home, Vera Brown. Well what is COGIC? It's the Grand ole Church Of God In Christ... Where you can't join in, you must be born in( no seriously it's an old convocation song we sang in Massachusetts Juridiction #1)

"This is the church of God in Christ,
This is the church of God in Christ,
You can't join in
You must be born in
This is the Church of God in Christ....."( As I hear the late Bishop LC Young singing)..

So why the picture and how does the title go with the picture?

There have been a number of videos posted since last year on facebook. Just yesterday, I saw the ones being posted on instagam. While I have not seen the video in it's entirety, I will say my heart was a bit saddened. WHY??? And trust me, this blog is not a bashing, it's merely my thoughts but sometimes before we laugh, we should consider the feelings of the other person.. I will be honest and say, growing up it was the typical thing to laugh and mock a person as they shouted in church. We were young and spent a good amount of church with the same people every single week.

But as I've gotten older and developed my own relationship with God, I've come to understand before we open our mouths to judge, consider the person.

We fully  never understand a person until we've gotten to know them. Some people were not born attending church. Some people found God after dealing with situations that should've killed them. Some found the church by default, some found the church while they were getting high.. And instead of being embraced: alot of these people have been mocked, talked about and even ridiculed.
People have experienced all types of hurt in the church and it's never ever been addressed( and the hurt goes DEEP). The church is supposed to be the one place you go to feel loved BUT it has now become the place that so many people refuse to walk into.

GOD IS LOVE~ God is pure LOVE~

"Long ago the lord said to Israel, " I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love have I drawn you to myself". ~ Jeremiah 31:3 NLT  I've learned that rebuke comes in many different forms. But open rebuke can be the most harmful when it's not followed by correction and love.  WE judge people based on their appearance and it's not fair. A person only does better when they are taught better.

I've learned sometimes, we have to meet people where they are and be ok with it. If you truly want to know a person's heart, sit and talk with them. No alternative motives, no underline schemes, just one on one conversation.

In order for us to reclaim the church and for God to truly operate and see MIRACLES, SIGNS and WONDERS let's get back to showing love. Let's return to where love is an ACTION followed by teaching and nurturing. GOD is perfect therefore LOVE should be perfect. If we continue how we are, we're going to continue losing souls by the dozen.

I ask that each of you say a prayer for Vera tonight....

Signed,
I don't just go to church, I AM the CHURCH
~Cheneka

The Little Things...

These last few months, I've had to find reasons to smile because I know for sure I wanted to just say forget it! This is to hard.

I found myself talking to God more and I stopped complaining. I mean I literally STOPPED!  How was God ever going to bless me while I was so caught up in what I didn't have? It was in that moment He reminded me, " sometimes I'm all you need"..  when I tell you the moment I stopped complaining,  small blessings startedconing my way. In my alone moments, quiet moments and moments when all I could do was cry, God simply said, " So are you going to trust me"?

We get caught up in watching others get ahead that it discourages us. This morning God simply reminded me, He put something on the inside of me and it's his word. When all else fails his word will lift us up and carry us.

As I read this morning and prepared for my day, a peaceful calm overtook me. I can't explain the calm but I can say, something big is on the horizon. Not just for me but for all of us who believe. Let's take heart in God's words and promises. Let's take heart in knowing he has us.
I promise, theres always a light at the end of the tunnel. He makes provision when we can't do it naturally.

I promise, with all of the curves, God is making a straight path just because. It's not the struggle that's making us, it's our Faith in God that's building us and shaping our character.

My lovies, I challenge you to hold on. Hold on to the little things because they turn to much when we put it in the Master's hands.

I totally had a different twist on The Little Things but my heart felt and my fingers typed something else. To some, you're always arriving to late but to God your arrival is On time! And that matters more than anything else...

Signed,
Simply Thankful

We Made it....

We walked into school this morning and was greeted at the sign in kiosk with "Happy Birthday"....

We made it!! The highly anticipated 5th birthday has finally arrived. Every year on my son's birthday I'm somewhat filled with sad emotions.. But today( no other day for that matter), I will not dwell on it!! 

Today, I'm grateful that together we made it to 5. Oh son, I love you more than you'll ever understand. Sometimes as parents, we make selfish decisions. At the moment we don't always see it but when we do, we grow from it and we move on. 

Today, baby we're growing!! Know and understand, everything Mommy does is for the betterment of your life and your sister. I know sometimes, you guys just want mommy to yourself but the nature of the business that has sustained our family calls for other little people to be around. The overnights and early mornings, they will all pay off. My long nights, I'm sorry. 

As you continue to grow into a wonderful "grown kid", I will forever thank God for the strength he's given me to raise you. I can't say it enough," But God". Strength when I wanted to cry, Energy when I wanted a nap, Love/ Understanding when I wanted to cuss/ kill, Peace during heartache. 

My prayer each year of your life, is that we continue to grow and love. I pray that everything your little heart desires, needs, want and even lack; I pray that God supplies. He hasn't failed us yet and I know that he won't now. 

As I wrap my mind around you entering kindergarten, tying your shoes and riding a bike without training wheels, I hope it comes easy just as writing your name, counting and reading has. 

Matthew Ashton, you son are a joy to know, love and raise. And you will be a successful MAN. You will contribute to society in ways that will change the course of living. 

You will excel in all of your classes and any sport you decide to play( right now it's football, I pray this year you can and will focus). My little Sonshine, I love you to no end!! 

Happy Birthday Son... 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka~ Your Mom

"I don't regret a thing, for having you, Thanks for my child" ~ Cheryl Pepsi Riley 

Divine Connections~

...~When you stop basing your connections on who should be here and appreciate who is here, there you'll find your Strength~ CTH

I've been on my journey for quite sometime now. I've come to the realization, God will lessen the load if I tap into what it is HE would have me to do. I've tried to alter my life and just when I thought it was working, God reminded me what I've prayed( and still pray) what He's promised, what He's shown me and what he'll do once I let HIM be God.. The funny thing is, it's not that hard to let him lead, to bad it's taken me this long to realize it. 

For the last 2 weeks, God has been talking to me the same way I'm typing this blog. I'm no longer trying to talk my way out of it, I'm listening through it. And in the process, amazing people are guiding me along the way. 

I've always believed that family will never let you down, they'll be there indefinitely. I've had to learn a lesson or 2 about that. And in the process, I've made some divine connections, that I'll carry with me forever. I have only 1 biological mother( Mama I love you) but as of late, great women who are old enough to MA have reassured me that they support me and have the interest of me AND my children at heart. 

Friends also come a dime a dozen but oh when they turn family and they pray for you, cover you, cry with you, get you together and still love you?! That's nothing but divine. 

And JESUS!!! Whew!! If we take our eyes of religion and focus on him, He's everywhere and visible in all things!! Today I'm choosing to allow these divine connections to Bless my Life, I'm choosing to let God be God and I'm choosing to keep sifting through until my treasure is visible.. Yes, I am the treasure but there's a hidden treasure growing inside of me and you too. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to stand still and see the Glory!! It's there. Allow God's grace to carry you, trust  what he's shown you IS coming to past... This Time!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka ~I'm no Saint but a Sinner who's alive because of Mercy & Grace!! 

It's going to work, This Time~

~Sometimes you have to face the music and play by yourself~ JHud"Empire".... 

This morning as I sat to prepare myself to read from my Bishop's book, I didn't know what prayer to read. So I settled on page 37 because I'm 37. It's simply read "Mastermind"... God is the Master and I have the Mind.. #Catchit

Anyone who truly knows me knows that, everything has to make sense. You can't tell me something without backing it.. I live for clarity and understanding. A few weeks ago, I was visiting my parents' church in Huntsville, Ala and their Pastor spoke into my life. I sat there and held my son and dissected every single word he said. Some of it registered instantly while I sat there and some of it, I didn't see the  relevance until NOW. 

In close, his final words to me were, " Its going to work this TIME"... 

Earlier this evening as I reached my step goal and walked the park, I enhaled and exhaled BIG.. Everything I've been praying for all made sense and all I could hear was, "It's going to work this time". 

I've been uncertain about my next few moves( there are things I want to accomplish by 40) and today, I continued to hear, "It's going to work this time".. 

I instantly picked up my pen and started to write. I tend to write my best when I'm full and for once, I'm full. 

I'm full of life, I'm full of possibilities. And I believe everything is working. The good is becoming better and I'm just going to roll with it. The thing about life is sometimes, we have to see beyond the surface. We have to remember the prayers we've prayed, remember God's answer and understand that God cannot and will not lie. He can't, he's God!! 

Tonight my Lovies, believe in your dReams again. Believe that nothing is impossible. Find the strength and courage to believe in you.. The entire world can be against you BUT if God is before you, everything is possible!!! 

Because... 

It's going to work, This Time!!! #ForTheWin 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

New Beginnings..

There's something about midnight.. As I did my rounds in the dorm tonight( and met my step goal, 8542), I was intentional about looking at each piece of art displayed on the girl's hall. 

A few pieces truly caught my eye. But the one posted above was the absolute best. 

I live for new days, clean slates and new opportunities. Each chance I get to make things right, do them over or try another solution is absolutely amazing to me. 

At one point, I had myself fooled thinking I was always right. As I grew, encountered more people and searched my own soul, I soon found out mistakes are just God's way of allowing us to try again. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to Try your best every single day. And when you just can't seem to get it right, pray and hold fast in knowing ( if the Lord's will), you'll get a chance at a clean slate, tomorrow!  

I dare you to start something over, with a clean slate. It's going to feel so good. I'm thankful for the many clean slates I've been given. I live to grow, change, be better and Love harder. Accept what you're allowed to change and what you can't, be ok with knowing you've given it your all! Rest well my Lovies..

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

Truth is...

There's nothing better than being in the arms of someone who cares for you just as much as you care for them... I know, I know you should be in love, married etc... But sometimes just laying with someone takes away the stresses of the world and even if for a brief minute, you're able to exhale the scent of peace( or in my case, a man who smells Hella good).. 

I've crossed over onto the far side of 30, 2 years past 35.. As I look over my life, I have not been in a long term relationship in quite sometime. I don't know if I'm avoiding it or if the right person has not come along( I think he has but he just doesn't know it yet), but I know for sure I. Miss. Cuddling. And it's not even about sex.. It's just laying there, in the arms of a person who cares just as much as I care. 

Don't get me wrong, marriage should always be the goal but you have to first get to that place. It's the simple things that matter the most:: 

Morning texts

Thinking of you gestures

Dinner 

Long walks

Honest conversations and Cuddling... 

Lately, I've daydreamed more than a little about my King.. He's a handsome fella and he's just right for me.. He understands I do NOT want anything from him( I'm sure there are tons of people pulling on him). I don't want much, just his ear, a shoulder to lean on and strong arms holding me up because sometimes I feel weak. 

Together, we're going to be equally strong for each other and make cuddling a priority. It's what good relationships are built on( and honestly too, above EVERYTHING else).. 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

It's a Celebrate...

Guess who has a birthday coming up?! Yup, I do!! I'll turn 30 for the 7th time on February 16th. 

I tend to make a big deal out of my birthday. It's the one day designed just for ME! I try to do something amazing each year but with moving and purchasing a new vehicle it may not go down the way I envisioned(but I'm not worried, I'll still celebrate MY way). 

If you know me, you'd know I have an obsession with handbags and socks. This year, I've decided to purchase/ collect 37 pairs of socks and randomly give them out to the less fortunate in the downtown Atl area. 

My Peace/ reward is always found in doing something for others. I whole heartedly agree, the good measure we give unto others always come back to us full circle. 

To some, a pair of socks is nothing but to me: gosh I love them. They keep me warm, they make me happy and they are inexpensive. I will have more info on my Birthday Socks Campaign( may even have a catchy name in a few weeks). If you feel inclined to help me reach my goal, leave a comment below... I'm excited to share my love for socks with others!! 

My Lovies, one kind gesture can make the difference in the life of someone who feels forgotten. A smile, kind word and even a small conversation means more than we'll ever know to a person who has no 1.  This year, I will spend part of my 37th bday giving a piece of me and I'm excited! I plan to do it Big and sprinkle "pretty socks" throughout Atlanta. It's my charge plus, as good as I look the world should feel the same!! GOOD!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

A King can ALWAYS use a Queen...

Even on a man's worst day, knowing he has a Queen is comforting~ CTH®

The thing about relationships, every man wants to be acknowledged as a King. He wants a castle where he's the one and only MAN roaming.. 

The downfall to this image, there are not a lot of women walking as Queen's to compliment his vision. Some are so busy trying to be dimes they forget, a real Queen is worth more than a mere 10 pennies, 1 dime or 2 nickels. 

You cannot put value on beauty, strength and resilience. You cannot place value on Motherhood, Sisterhood, Marriage and being his Peace in a chaotic world. 

And men, you're worth more than trying to have more than one woman at a time. You ARE the full package but for 1 woman. Be her Peace, be her Truth, be her Support. Love Her the way she loves you. You cannot place value on your Strength, Brotherhood, Marriage and the fulfillment that comes with being her one and only King. 

Everyone has their spill on relationships but the best advice is the advice you don't give and you use it to work on YOURself. 

Today my Lovies, let's provide the one we truly care about with the utmost respect and care. Let's stop the games in 2016. You either down with them or you're not. Kings and Queens do not play games because they value themselves and their court( home)... 

Signed, 

Neka T. Speaks 

Flawed BUT Perfect...

It's so easy to look at other people's lives and wish you had what they have. 

New Year's Eve, my bestie and I had a 3 hour phone convo( yes we talk that long in real life, most days),about our lives. Our mishaps, bad relationships, good relationships, broken hearts, parenthood and divorce. Yes, we all suffer from one or all the things listed above. 

It's so easy to be an outsider looking in to what is deemed as perfection. To add a cherry to my plain vanilla icecream sundae( don't judge me), my Spiritual Father, preached the exact same message during NYE service( I mean verbatim). I texted her during service telling her. It was as if he was on three way with us. 

Just because it looks good from the outside, doesn't mean it's heaven on the inside. We get so caught up in reading more into what's there that we think our lives are horrible. 

I'm learning it's best to be single than in a relationship where he has another woman he's promising to build with.  It's best to lay in bed alone, than to lay next to someone who has kissed everyone but you. 

I tend to shy away from blogging about love/relationships because I've been dealt a hand that I didn't ask for. Don't get me wrong, they all didn't start that way BUT somewhere down the line we just didn't mesh anymore. 

But I'm Very optimistic these days. Cupid's arrow is messing with me and at some point I'm going to have to fully give in. 

My question is???  Do perfect relationships exit? To an outsider YES but to the 2 people giving their all, their Mess is their love. I'm down for a guy who has faults, I'm down for a guy who may forget to put the toilet seat down, I'm down for a guy who works hard and needs a minute or 2 after work to wind down in his man cave. I'm down for the guy who's not rich but loves me Richly. It's not the monetary, it's his actions that will speak more clearly than anything else. And don't misunderstand what I'm saying ladies, it's not just the guy who has to do his part. We must pull our weight too. No nagging, no selfish acts. Prepare him a hot bath too, rub him down with massage oils, they like honesty too. Teach him to communicate with you( they tend to shy away from

Doing all the talking). They're not the best at communicating but this is where you will both grow together and In Love... Love each other like it's only the two of you in this world. Outsiders don't matter 

Today my Lovies, the challenge is: to be honest with you. Love your flawed self. Not a soul walking this earth is perfect. I mean, we want to be but the truth is we're really not. Love all of your imperfections. And for the flaws you can fix, don't make excuses fix them. 

We're all entitled to be with, Marry and Love the exact same person over and over again but better each day. If you're in a situation that's not yielding the Love you need, quit being a fool gather your ish and move along UNLESS you like the chaos. And let's be real, a chaotic life is not the business. 

I'm no love expert but I know what it is to Love someone truly in your soul. For Love is an action. It's never ever Love that hurts us but people. Love yourself and Love the people who love you. 

Cupid has a funny way of pricking us. Don't get caught up having a Will and Jada love because even they have bags full of trash too. Have a love that's  uniquely designed for you, Flawed but Perfect!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

My Pushers...

Anyone who truly knows me know that Chelia and Matthew mean the world to me. Parenthood has its ups and downs but for the most part each day I rise to the occasion. I question how my life has turned out at times but in the scheme of things, the 3 of us were destined to be a family( and I'm confident in knowing our little family will soon be complete). 

Some big things are about to take place in our lives. With the 1st being my return to school. As I rearranged my wall art tonight, I added pictures from our family photoshoot this summer. My children are my motivation to keep striving for excellence. I have to set the standard for each of them to model. Each morning I wake( after I pray) I will look at their faces. At night while I study and prepare for the next phase of lives I will look at them. 

For my daughter: We may fall babygirl but we get back up. We never ever quit. Sometimes, we have to travel alone and that's ok. The goal is to work hard at everything you set your mind to accomplish. Sometimes you have to stop talking about it and be about it. Work hard, play later. 

For my son: Always strive for greatness. Defeat is not apart of our vocabulary. We will always keep trying until we succeed. Just because life throws a few curve balls our way, we will still proceed with the plan. Always strive for excellence. Work hard, play later. 

My Lovies, 2016 will only be as great as we make it. Set goals and keep them. Make sacrifices, make changes, become better, do better, be honest, be kind, be loving, be In Love, be smarter than your dumbest choice.... Challenge yourself to complete everything you've set out to do.  I'm nervous but for once I'm confident. Confident in myself and where I am right now. I'm ready to soar.. And as long as my little people and a few very special people are in my corner; I got this.. 

Signed, 

Neka T. Speaks 

A little Photographer Love..

For the past 6 years, I've lived in Atlanta, Ga. I can honestly say, they have been the absolute best. I've learned to believe in myself and trust the process.  Yes, I've faced adversities, I've cried, I've wanted to leave but I never gave up..

I could go on to say so much but that would take away from this amazing Beast Female Photographer who's about to take the world by storm. 

The woman behind this amazing shot is non other than MY sissy, MY day 1 since my 1st month in Georgia, Karm Howard. 

I mer her at church. I've never told her this but her face, her kind smile and genuine concern was another reason I fell in love with my church. There were some Sunday's I was truly considering going back home and I would see her and she'd love on me and Li. We exchanged numbers and from there we've grown into more than friends, she's My SISSY. She's my kids TeTe, she'll pray with and for me and she's even put me in my place a time or two and has checked my attitude( if you know me, not everyone can get me together real quick). 

But let me tell you WHY she needs to be THEE photographer for your photo needs. She's just amazing hands down. She has an eye for great shots too. This summer, my parents visited from Mass and my father expressed he wanted professional pics done with the grandchildren. I called her up, told her what we needed and even with a gloomy overcast, she produced some shots that we will enjoy for years to come.

I'm excited for her future and where her love/ passion for great pictures will lead her. I'm a bit torn because i want her to be a bridesmaid when that special day rolls around;(fingers crossed, feeling optimistic)  and I also want her to capture every moment because she knows me oh so well. 

I urge you to go check her out on Instagram at ShutterChicAtl.. You will NOT be disappointed. Tell her NekaT sent you.. 

Here's to My Sissy, my thrifting motivator, my praying sister, the Checker & Face fixer Karm.. I love you and I'm excited for this phase of life you're about to enter.. Can't wait to see your pictures featured all of the world.. 

Signed, 

I Support Thee Greatest 

You'll know it's Real...

I've learned that it's not LOVE that has hurt us, it's people who have pretended to love us that have hurt us. 

Love is an action word that carries a lot of emotions. What makes love so real is that it allows us to genuinely look past our hurts, flaws, heartaches and failures and share an intimate piece of our heart. 

I must admit, I haven't always been in a place where I've wanted to LOVE. But as I've grown and matured, I realize the Love I've shared has been deposited into some people who have never experienced true love. 

While we find it easy to hide behind hurt, build walls and ignore what our hearts speak, when it's your time to be on the receiving end of the Love you deserve, there's nothing or no 1 that can hinder it. 

Today Lovies, be thankful/ appreciative  for the ones who love you with no pretense. Accept that their love comes from a place of honestly. It's time for us to stop running from Cupid and allow the arrow to get us. One of my favorite artists sang, " when you love someone sometimes you gotta let them go and if they come back it means so much more"~ Vivian Green

Live and be in Love. 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

 

I'm in Love...

Oh yes I am! In love with the concept of building a life that I love.. 

Took quite a few bumps, detours and start overs but I finally get it, I got it and now I'm good. 

My first shot at being a business owner has been an amazing success. I knew my idea would work but who knew for 4 years my service would remain in demand? I'm forever grateful to my clients and staff for trusting me and riding the waves. 

As 2015 comes to and end, I'm beyond excited for all the new things I'm allowing myself to build upon. When you love someone or something, you'll go to the ends of the earth to make it work. These size 7.5s have taken me far in 2015 and in 2016 we will continue to trod the distance. 

I've found out that waking up happy every single morning sets the tone and the atmosphere for my day. Life is looking up. I'm not only building a life that I love but I'm building a life for my children to love. It's exciting yet scary but I'm

Here for it. 

Love Life: it's going to happen. I believe it, trust it and I'm excited.. 

Physical Life: I'm going to continue working hard at being aware of my body and tuned into my need to be healthy and fit( on my terms). 

Parental Life: I'm looking forward to watching my children grown and become who they are destined to be. 

Spiritual Life: God hasn't left me, he won't leave me and as long as I stay receptive he's going to keep guiding me.. 

Financial Life: the more I invest in MY dreams and MY education, the rewards will be priceless. 

My Lovies, your declarations may be different than mine but if you start making them now and setting your self up for greatness, you will not fail. 

My heart is still full. For once I see everything coming full circle and I'm loving all that I see.. Stay tuned, only up from here!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

My Heart is Full

My heart is full.. Today my organization served our 4th annual Food& Blanket Drive here in Atlanta. 

What could've turned horribly bad actually turned out to be a blessing in disquise.  We arrived at our normal location ready to serve and was greeted by this officer, who proceeded with kicking us out and calling re-enforcements. 

There were women in the lot with their children in need of a meal. We quickly stepped into plan B. In the process, a gentlemen started directing us towards Renissance Park where others were already giving. 

We were soon greeted by men of Omega Psi Phi and Alpha Phi Alpha who helped us to get set up. We were able to distribute blankets and toiletries. As we served, I had to take a moment to myself because as a single mom raising my children alone, my heart went out to the pregnant women and children who were in the park. 

While I'm fortunate to have my own business and provide for them, the harsh reality remains that some people are less fortunate. I'm grateful that my bills are paid, we have a roof over our heads and I'm able to sometimes not only provide what they need but what they want. This week, I challenged myself & my readers with a Happy Challenge. Mid week I realized, I'm capable of being happy every single day.  And I WILL!! 

Being of service to the men, women and children of Atlanta who are displaced is my charge. Every year the goal is that we serve more, provide more and give more. This year we exceeded with serving over 200 plus people.  As always, they reminded us to NOT feel sorry for them. They were filled with gratitude and in their own way they gave back to us. As tough as I would like to believe I am, this year the tears fell harder than ever. 

I'm always reminded of this gospel song sung by the great Walter Hawkins, " could've been me, outdoors with no food, no clothes. All left alone without a friend or just another number with a tragic end. But you didn't see fit, to let none of those things be and everyday by your power, YOU keep blessing me. Thank YOU Lord for all you've done for me"... 

Today, I'm thankful.. 

Signed, 

My Heart is Full

Women Who Network, LLC we did it again. Each year will get better and better.. 

Everyday Happy.. Just because...

My 5days of Happy Challenge has been a blessing to my life. Every single day I woke up with a grateful heart. I prayed and promised not to let anyone or anything disturb my happy place. 

It's been amazing to appreciate every minute of the day knowing the next isn't promised. I've accomplished so many things this week all because I decided I just want to be happy and accomplished. Now that I know and understand I control my happy, it has given me the confidence to speak into every area of my life that I need to change. 

There are so many things on the horizon for 2016 and they all include my Happy... 

What's your happy? What did the challenge do for you on this week? 

I know for sure I've looked at every area of my life through happy lens on this week. Don't get me wrong, everyday won't be peachy and some days may seem harder than others but I'm determined to see the happy. I'm no longer have  interest in being around Debbie Downers, I refuse to let your miserable life dictate my happy life. 

Today my Lovies, push yourself to continue seeing the happy in each and everyday. Thank God for your OWN life. Thank him for all he's doing and all he's going to do. You have the power within to achieve all that you've set out to accomplish. I dare you to do it with a smile 2, I certainly plan too!! 

Signed, 

Forever Happy!!!