But I wasn't looking at YOU....

My lovely people, its been a while and I have missed thee so. Life has been busy for me but that's no excuse.
I now have a 13 year old and a 6 year old. Let's just say, I'm really on my toes these days with the 6 year old. Full of lessons, fun and tears. To think, I ever doubted myself in this role of raising a son is absolutely crazy. God has given me strength that I never knew exsisted. His father and I have come a very long way and for that I'm extremely grateful. (We still disagree from time to time but it's healthy in order to be great co-parents and friends).

He and his sister argue like strangers in the night but I would'nt have it any other way. They are the loves of my life, not my whole life though because I believe the right man is enroute.. Yeah, I'm a bit more optimistic these days. I've always had a type but as I'm growing and maturing more, my type hasn't always worked, causing me to be more open to others... I'm sure a blog or 2 will come to pass sooner than later...

I do have a question though..... How do you respond to, " What are you looking at"? When my son gets in trouble, he's quick to ask his sister what is she looking at. Being the quick teenager she is, like clock work she responds, "Not you".. When I tell you its funny to me, I crack up every time.. BUT what about when a man says it, how does it make you feel? Do you feel slighted, does it anger you? Do you feel dissed?? I try mybest to ignore when men try to grab my attention. Sometimes, I'm just not up for the foolishness. Recently, a guy said to me, "Ms or MRS"? I thought, miss me with this bull... I digress


I was talking to a guy friend and he proceeded to tell me about a misunderstanding that went south. He was at the gas station and he happen to be looking back(missing a few bits and pieces) and 2 women assumed he was looking at them. LOng story short, he wasnt and they proceeded to act like donkeys, yelling and cursing. They even pulled outh their phones and started recording!!MA'AM!!!

 Women, do we sometimes act foolish for no reason and men, do you sometimes add salt to injury with a hard cold diss??

It happens more than it should but ladies, all men aren't looking at us. And men, just because we acknowledge you doesn't mean we want you.

When I see a handsome man or even a beautiful woman, because I'm secure in who I am: I have no issue with complimenting them. I'll take it even further, I may not even be checking you out physically, I may be drwan to how you're dressed. I love to see well dressed men and I love to see well dressed women. It gives me ideas on how to arrange pieces in my closet and a well dressed man gives me hope....sighhhh

As we get older, our approach with the opposite sex changes. We're either attracted to them or we're not. We may look but it's not always a situation where we want to touch. We may wink only
 because they smiled or nodded. Let's stop confusing every man as a boy raging with hormones and
men stop assuming you're going to get it just because.

I may not have been looking at you to get with you but I was checking you out!! Let's admit it and move forward..

Signed,
Blogging for the mature and sexy

Grown Cliques..

This was a busy work week to say the least. I filled in for American Literature, Gym Drills, English and Science. Typically, its a different class each day but this week my schedule was consistent.

I definitely enjoy Sub teaching. It's rewarding and it provides a bit of change for the students.  Since I was spending full days on campus this week, I was able to mingle a bit more than usual. I was early enough to have breakfast along with staff and students. because I'm a people watcher, I typically just stand around and watch or I sit by myself. For some odd reason, I was inclined to sit with some co-workers. I experienced sitting with a grown clique.

Have you ever watched your children try to talk to other kids their age and you just want to run to their rescue and save them? That was me, I wanted to save myself. LOL  I saw a few familiar faces so I sat with them. I wish I had just sat alone or returned to my class and ate alone.

I felt out of place and like I was trying to hard. Yup, me Cheneka Hobbs: Ms. Outspoken, Ms. Get Along with Everyone, Ms. People lover!! I felt out of place, It's not that I was trying to hard, or looking to make new friends, I just thought as adults we could all sit at the same table and talk.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not having a fit over it. I just understand on an adult level " Grown Cliques".. This wasn't my first experience with it BUT I do hope it will be my last. The older I get, I'm becoming more aware of who I am and my levels of toleration.


My lovies, I challenge you to always make sure you're treating people the way you want to be treated. You treat them with respect and always be mindful of our actions intentionally and unintentionally. Some people are not as strong as they make themselves out to be.
This experience has been yet another eye opener for me. I'll be sure to think twice of other's feelings and my actions. I would hope that we do the same.

Signed,
I'm NOT a Mean Girl, just Simply Cheneka!!

Don't be They...

Every year, I found an excuse as to why I did not celebrate my birthday. I used to look to friends to help me celebrate but it just never really happened. Then I started blaming it on, I wanted to make sure my kids had great birthday celebrations.


When I turned 35, that was my last real celebration. Shame on me. I would buy and receive great gifts but to actually set time aside and celebrate, I was failing. Failing myself, failing to thank God for a new year at this thing called life.  I became that friend who celebrated everyone and disregarded myself.

As I worked on my vision board for 2017, I made personal declarations and promised to celebrate myself THIS year. My sister friend then in turn reminded me, " They will only celebrate you as much as YOU celebrate you". That comment opened my eyes and made me think reallllllll HARD. I had become my own they. They didn't acknowledge me because I didn't. They didn't offer to celebrate with me because I didn't celebrate me.

The "theys" in our life play two roles. They will either push you or they will talk about you. Life is teaching me, they only care because they want to see you fail or they are pushing you to be great.

Which they are you? I've learned, the immediate theys won't celebrate because in so many ways, YOU have become the competition. You have become the " they" that's determined to make it.
You have become the " they" that they fear: Sucess.

There's room for everyone to make it. And the ones who really care, will in turn turn around and help pull you up with them.

Today, I challenge you to not become a victim to they. They only care when it benefits them. They only care because of what you can do for them. Let that mentality stop today.
Celebrate you. Celebrate your highs and lows. Celebrate your successes and failures. We celebrate failures because it's teaching us how to make it into a win.

One of the worst places to be is in between. In between a career/ job change, in between seasons, in between finding your place and giving up. But in that place, still celebrate. Find strength and even encourage yourself. They won't, so what! It's your place to do it.
Celebrate when you are right now because tomorrow, you won't be where you are now.

Signed,
They won't kill me, Simply Cheneka

But HE knows..

We all need great friends. I always thought men and women could never be friends without sleeping together. When I was younger, if you talked to a guy and he had a girlfriend, you were trying to steal him. If you had a friend who was married, your name came up in an argument because you want him.. The lists go on and on..  

Oh have I proven each one wrong. Some of my best friendships are with men. One of my longest standing friendships is with a guy. One of my first friends when I 1st moved to Boston and lived on Columbia Rd. To this day( and he's married) we're thick as thieves. I give him a woman's perspective when he and the Mrs have a disagreement and he gives me the male perspective when I'm receiving mixed signals from guys I met. 

I'm appreciative to all of my male friendships. I've learned that it's okay to have male friends. Just this week, another close male friend and I discussed boundaries. And whether or not we believe we should have them; boundaries are sometimes needed. They keep you from making choices you'll later regret. 

Not only do our husbands, boyfriends and guy friends need us but to some degree we need them too. 

Aside from my brothers, some of my most sound advice and support, comes from my guy friends. 

True friendships are hard to come by. Especially friendships of the opposite sex. We determine the level of respect and appreciation given in these friendships. I must admit, if you think you may be attracted to a guy friend, do not cross those lines and try and build a relationship. Not that I've ever done it but I'm sure if it doesn't work you can't go back to just kicking it! 

Today, I stand firm in being a confidant, good listener, no crap taker in my guy friendships. Sometimes, the pill is hard to serve when you have to speak harsh truths but if the friendship is true, you get thru it, you grow and remain tight!! 

Shout out to my homies who appreciate the kid.. I appreciate and love y'all too!! 

Signed, 

Simply Thankful for my guy homies!! 

Snatched Hunni...

I swear, I have friends who I laugh with, cry with, be petty with( although I'm mostly the petty one and I pull them in) pray with, grow with.. I mean my circle of sisterfriends IS quite amazing.. I know for sure I'm no easy pill so if they've been around longer than 5 years, they're the real MVP lol! 

It's funny, they each play a specific role in whatever season I'm in. Yesterday, my Sissy and I talked about a number of things. Threw out a few why's and we even tried to come up with some solutions. We spoke a few of our heart's desires and then the petty came in.. Lol

Listen, I don't know about y'all but 40 is soon knocking at my door. Although it's hard to believe because I try to keep myself together; it hit me, I need to be Snatched & Prosperous by 40. I told my sissy, "You just gave me a blog".. As I sat and I pondered what does Snatched really mean? Is it having the small waist, make up being on point, hair down my back, nails together?? To me, Snatched is what YOU feel it s for your Life.. I can walk around in a pair of leggings but if I have a little lip gloss on, eye liner on these 2 here eyes and some mascara then Hunni I'm together.. If my undergarments doing their job and holding certain things in then yup I'm snatched. I must admit, body alteration is the way some of us chose to go.. But if you just take a few minutes and walk/ run/ drink water instead of koolaid then you're well on your way.. 

And the PROSPEROUS part!!! Listen, I promise Father you can trust me! I mean I've fooled over my money before but right NOW today, You can trust me!! Yup, I'm going to tithe into my church, I'm going to help the homeless( maybe even open a shelter), I'll invest, sow seeds, remove debt BUT I'm also going to buy a few bags, houses and some shoes.. I mean can't look snatched but wearing shoes from 8 seasons ago! 

I won't go overboard but just enough to match that Snatch!! 

Hey, it's okay to laugh a little but it's even better to declare a few things too!! Ladies I'm declaring SNATCHed and PROSPERITY become my portion.. 

Ang guys, don't get it twisted you too can be Snatched!! 

Just a little blog humor for your Friday!! Enjoy this long weekend and work on being snatched for next week!! 

Signed, 

Simply Snatched Cheneka 

Words Can Heal..

Hey my Lovely followers! I know, it's been a while. I've actually set up a mini blogIG, NekaTSpeaks on Instagram ( go follow if you haven't already)  But it hit me, I have to make time for this spot too. This is where I truly found my voice in the blogging world. 

Here's my truth:: after a lot of hurt, my motto became, " Your words mean nothing, I need action". If a guy said he liked me, whelp I needed him to show it. If a person said they have my back, ok show it.. Whew, thank God I've grown and matured. Although, thinking in this manner is warranted from time to time, sometimes a person's word is their bond and we have to believe it until they show you different.. And when they show you, then you can look for it to show thru their actions. 

I have this friend whom I talk to almost daily. At first it was simple talk, laughing at our kids, talking about relationship woes ( I mainly listened, I'm as single as 1 dollar bill 😂😂😂) and life plans. Then our conversations started to mature. I began to look at this person more than someone who needed an outlet ( because I didn't see it then but I needed an outlet too) but as someone who was growing. We were helping each other grow without physically knowing. 

This person later said to me, " You know your words bless me".. I'm like my words? They responded "YES".. I'm like give me an example..( u know we thrive off of examples lol) they simply said, " I find comfort in your words because they've healed me and given me strength". 

Maybe it's just me but I'm quick to say, " who me" and the response has ALWAYS been, " why not you". 

Today, I challenge you to speak life into someone else. We're all battle with something or another without having to share it with the world. Speak Peace into someone who's battling with inner turmoil. Speak Love into someone who has felt less than all of their life. Speak motivation into someone who wants to give up. 

There is more power in our words than we know. To my followers, I speak an abundance of Happiness, New Beginning,Financial Blessings, fulfillment on your jobs and Peace in your homes. Be someone's balance today. 

Be their safety. 

We have the power in our words.. 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka aka Word Girl.. 

Lifestyle Maintenance

Late last week, my dash read that I needed to change my oil( technology is amazing in new vehicles). This morning I had downtime so I went to have it done. 

While sitting in the lobby, there were a few others having work performed on their vehicles. This one woman stood out in particular. She was on the phone talking. I continuously heard her saying, " but if you made me aware of your issue, we would not be disagreeing right now". For some reason that stuck with me. 

How many times do we have disagreements or misunderstandings all because we did not provide clarity? Many people laugh/ or do not understand when I ask for clarity. It's not to be a jerk, it's because I need clarity! I'm effective when I understand and if I don't, I will continue with questions. Lol

I'll never forget, it was my 1st semester of college. I was sitting in my Child Development class. We were assessing the way children learn. I'll admit, sometimes I'll indulge in a great debate, I'll also admit, I'll probe just to see how strong you are( I know, petty). Well, on this particular day, I truly didn't understand a point my professor made so I kept asking questions. Right in the midst of my question she says, " Cheneka all you do is ask questions, it's not that many questions in the world". I must admit, the level of disdain I soon carried for this woman was unbelievable. However, when my final grade for that class was an A and she later expressed she felt I'd be a phenomenal teacher, I knew I'd done something right. Where ever you are Professor Ravitha Amarethinsan(spelling is horrible but in my head I'm saying it right), thank you! 

In life, many areas of our lives will require constant maintenance. A sisterfriend and I were talking about relationships last week and the grass appearing to be greener somewhere else. We have to take care of what's been given to us, or even the hands we've been dealt because we either chose it, or it's our lot in this life. 

Somethings will require more work and if we feel it's worth it, we're going to fight for it. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to work on, or even fix any relationship/ project that you've walked away from. In order for every part to fall in sync, it all has to mesh and work together. We can't expect our cars to run without gas, we can't expect relationships to work without communication. Today, I'm going to be better by doing better. You do the same, you hear?!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

Truth is...

There's nothing better than being in the arms of someone who cares for you just as much as you care for them... I know, I know you should be in love, married etc... But sometimes just laying with someone takes away the stresses of the world and even if for a brief minute, you're able to exhale the scent of peace( or in my case, a man who smells Hella good).. 

I've crossed over onto the far side of 30, 2 years past 35.. As I look over my life, I have not been in a long term relationship in quite sometime. I don't know if I'm avoiding it or if the right person has not come along( I think he has but he just doesn't know it yet), but I know for sure I. Miss. Cuddling. And it's not even about sex.. It's just laying there, in the arms of a person who cares just as much as I care. 

Don't get me wrong, marriage should always be the goal but you have to first get to that place. It's the simple things that matter the most:: 

Morning texts

Thinking of you gestures

Dinner 

Long walks

Honest conversations and Cuddling... 

Lately, I've daydreamed more than a little about my King.. He's a handsome fella and he's just right for me.. He understands I do NOT want anything from him( I'm sure there are tons of people pulling on him). I don't want much, just his ear, a shoulder to lean on and strong arms holding me up because sometimes I feel weak. 

Together, we're going to be equally strong for each other and make cuddling a priority. It's what good relationships are built on( and honestly too, above EVERYTHING else).. 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

My Love...

...and if you threw a party, you invited everyone you knew. You would see, the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say, Thank You for being a FRIEND... ~Golden Girls 

I promise I want to grow old with my best friend Moneka Mashaè( I'm Cheneka Trenè, creepy lol). I've lost count of the years, I know it's 20plus. When we 1st met, it was not peaches -n-cream. More like oil and water. But as time progressed, we grew to love and appreciate each other. 

Although we've always been in different states, it's never caused any issues. 

The last few months have been a bit trying for the both of us. I must admit it has strengthened our friendship on a whole new level. I've always prayed for her and covered her but to actually pray with her during some dark times solidified that we didn't become friends just because. She is my sister, my kids' Aunti. She's my ROD( to the fullest). 

We've been pushing each other out of our comfort zones for the last 2 months. We've agreed to become each other's  accountability partners as well. 

It's evident that in this life, we all need that one person ( or 2 or 3) we can count on when there's no 1 else. 

We've both had a few petitions before God. I've been battling with continuing my business, education and job. She's been battling with her job. We both gave each other deadlines and I'm proud to say that as of today, we both have new jobs, my business will continue to flourish and I'm going to kick school's butt! With her, I've found strength and a new level of appreciation of her and our friendship. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to take a moment and let your closest know how much you truly appreciate them. I'm blessed beyond measure to have her and a few others who show me daily that they have my back. I pray that I'll continue to always have each of them around... 

Signed, 

Simply Grateful Cheneka 

A King can ALWAYS use a Queen...

Even on a man's worst day, knowing he has a Queen is comforting~ CTH®

The thing about relationships, every man wants to be acknowledged as a King. He wants a castle where he's the one and only MAN roaming.. 

The downfall to this image, there are not a lot of women walking as Queen's to compliment his vision. Some are so busy trying to be dimes they forget, a real Queen is worth more than a mere 10 pennies, 1 dime or 2 nickels. 

You cannot put value on beauty, strength and resilience. You cannot place value on Motherhood, Sisterhood, Marriage and being his Peace in a chaotic world. 

And men, you're worth more than trying to have more than one woman at a time. You ARE the full package but for 1 woman. Be her Peace, be her Truth, be her Support. Love Her the way she loves you. You cannot place value on your Strength, Brotherhood, Marriage and the fulfillment that comes with being her one and only King. 

Everyone has their spill on relationships but the best advice is the advice you don't give and you use it to work on YOURself. 

Today my Lovies, let's provide the one we truly care about with the utmost respect and care. Let's stop the games in 2016. You either down with them or you're not. Kings and Queens do not play games because they value themselves and their court( home)... 

Signed, 

Neka T. Speaks 

You'll know it's Real...

I've learned that it's not LOVE that has hurt us, it's people who have pretended to love us that have hurt us. 

Love is an action word that carries a lot of emotions. What makes love so real is that it allows us to genuinely look past our hurts, flaws, heartaches and failures and share an intimate piece of our heart. 

I must admit, I haven't always been in a place where I've wanted to LOVE. But as I've grown and matured, I realize the Love I've shared has been deposited into some people who have never experienced true love. 

While we find it easy to hide behind hurt, build walls and ignore what our hearts speak, when it's your time to be on the receiving end of the Love you deserve, there's nothing or no 1 that can hinder it. 

Today Lovies, be thankful/ appreciative  for the ones who love you with no pretense. Accept that their love comes from a place of honestly. It's time for us to stop running from Cupid and allow the arrow to get us. One of my favorite artists sang, " when you love someone sometimes you gotta let them go and if they come back it means so much more"~ Vivian Green

Live and be in Love. 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

 

I listened...

I woke up yesterday with every intention on attending both services at church( didn't happen arrived at the end of 10:30), supporting my Lil Gal in her Aladdin performance at school and doing laundry. Well, my body had other plans for me. As I'm getting older, I'm learning to listen to my body and REST when it says rest. I came home after church, cooked dinner and climbed into bed and closed my eyes. It wasn't my intention to sleep as long as I did but the body spoke. I could hear my children and as long as there was no crying or screaming I knew they were good( if they took showers or not I'm not quite sure.. Shrugs). 

We get one body in this lifetime and we have to treat it with care. There are so many things I still must accomplish, places I must go, people to see etc.. So when it says rest, I listen and rest. When you're a nurturer, you tend to forget about yourself because you're so caught up in caring for others. But we're no good to others if we're no good to ourselves. I must be good to ME 1st and today my body reminded me. 

It's now 3:27am. I have cleaned the kitchen and put dishes away, I vacuumed the floors, picked up all of my son's cars and other figurines, helped Elf on the Shelf Marissa, folded blankets, hung up jackets and sipped on some citrus water( PSA, water is good for you) and now I'm

Back in bed. 

So here's a Sorry to all the things that did not get done today, for once I'm ok with putting off things that can be done tomorrow( which is today). Lol

Thanks to my daughter for stepping up and keeping the house in tact, it wasn't burned down while I slept, so she won! And thanks to my Foreverfriend who reminded me when I'm tired I must rest.. It's now 3:34am and I feel my eyes getting heavy once again. I can probably get in another 3 good hours.. 

TaTa World, Again!

Signed, 

I'm Better 

Heaven nor Hell

"It's the ones with so much to say that can't do anything for you"... ~CTH

There was a point in my life where I cared so much about what people thought of me that I wasn't living my Best Life.  I was so caught up in not being judged or talked about that I found myself walking on egg shells most of the time. And for why?! These same people I was so worried about couldn't offer me a pot to piss in, nor a place to lay my head if I ever needed it. 

Once I learned to start living my life, I quickly learned that the ones who I was trying to please are the same ones now judging me!! I just couldn't win😒

The harsh truth is that, even on your best days, someone is going to find fault with what you're doing. You decide to change areas of your life, you're now acting like you're to good. You decide to cut your hair, you're going through something. You decide to relocate, you're chasing after a man( or a woman). 

I promise, some people are just so darn miserable that no matter what, they'll never see the good in You or what You do. 

Our main goal should always be to live a life that honors God and a life that you're proud of. I promise, people will drive you crazy and talk about you for being crazy when they're the reason!! Tuh 

As the year comes to an end, my only goal is to end on a high note and happy that I've accomplished all I set out to do. Call me crazy if you want, I'm going to still be and do ME... ( but please understand, while I'm still being worked on by God, chill with the name calling because there's always that potential for backlash lol). Call me bougie if you must, just don't be mad that I chose to stop settling!! 

My Lovies, misconceptions are false views and opinions of us. As we live and grow in life, false truths will no longer bother us. At the end of the day, always find yourself in a place of pure happiness.  And that my friend will keep your A game strong and your life on track. 

I read a saying once, " if you're going to talk about me, at least say she always got her stuff together"... Let this be your motto too!! 

Happy Wednesday Y'all!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka everyDAY

For my Sisters...

I'll Never ever compromise who I am

But when I see things worth sharing I must.. So here's my truth, I've been single for close to 3 years now. In this time I had to heal, refresh and learn things all over again. Honestly, I've never been one to flirt and such because I honestly just don't know how. What I would consider flirting never worked.. Sighh

I've just never been one to approach a man. I mean, let me be great! I feel the man is supposed to pursue me, sorry not sorry( hence the single life lol).. 

I saw this post and instantly I saw the truth in it. And while this isn't to bash men, it's definitely an eye opener to how and what they feel when we do not require more. Here's a truth.... I've met guys before and it's been a textaship.. Yes, I made that up. Lol

Not a real friendship because we just texted. I learned from doing so, 1, they'll soon fall off or 2, you'll soon become bored. And while either or both could occur, the fact remains neither of us requires anything of each other so this is the outcome. 

I honestly believe that sometimes men are just as nervous as we are about dating. And just like us, they experienced bad break ups, divorce, cheating, feelings of insecurity etc... 

But how do we start the process of requiring more? It's all so simple to say what could be done but it's not always so easy to follow through. 

Texting is cool, even fun. But if you're over 30( clears throat on the far side of 30, bless God..lol), your vocabulary should consist more than, WYD, TTYL, Lol, GM, GN, ROTF etc.. 

Hey, have a conversation with me, intrigue my mind. Give me something to look forward too. I'll admit, I like texting only because I like my iPhone. But baby, don't be fooled because I can talk your ear off in real life. I've had to learn that sometimes I must leave room for the guy to talk.  And although a few potentials have told me they enjoy listening to me talk, in actuality I'm talking because you're not engaging me. A requirement is, I need to hear your voice at least once a day. I need to know you were thinking of me just a little and you wanted to hear my voice. 

In dating and getting to know each other; simple gestures can easily become overlooked if they're not done consistently. A morning text definitely makes you smile BUT that afternoon call, where your face pops up on my screen as you're calling is awesome! 

A thinking of you text mid-day is cool but that phone call where he says, " I'm on break and I only have a few minutes so I called just to hear your voice", will get a kiss! Hey, we're all adults and we need to be real about our likes and dislikes. 

Ladies lets face it, sometimes we have to teach a man how to treat us. And if your lessons are incomplete and without directives, you're not failing him. You're ultimately failing yourself. 

This time around, I'm not failing. I'm putting what I want out there. I'm no longer dating to just date. I'm dating with my future in mind. Yea, I'll text you BUT it's required that I hear your voice. Yea, I'll entertain your short hand text but in person I'm going to stimulate your vocabulary. 

Let's stop settling and get what we want out of life and love. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to be with someone who makes you feel like you're on top of the world. Be with someone who adores you, who looks forward to seeing you. Be with someone who wants to know your plans for the future and not just where they fit in your life for right now. We're to old to play games.. 

And today's soapbox blog edition was bought to you courtesy of a post on instagram( are you following me? My personal handle is neka_th and my blog IG, NekaTSpeaks, cause chile I have a lot to say)!! 

Signed, 

I'm more than a Text!! 

PS... Thoughts and comments are appreciated, share them)! 

Women Who Network...

2 months into being a "Business Owner", I was asked by then client( who has since become one of my best friends and my partner with the Women's Organization), to sponsor a family for the holiday season. We sponsored 2 families that year. 

I had done tons of giving back to the communities I seved back home, served families affected by unexpected deaths, served kids in the local housing developments but it didn't compare to the feelings I experience after adopting my 1st family. 

My mom was a single parent. After her divorce, she moved my brothers and I back to Boston where we had family to support us. It was hard. I was fortunate to have an aunt with a home daycare and she made sure I always had a job. I learned the importance of a $ and how to save. I knew then that I did not want to experience some of the misfortunes we did growing up. 

Moving to Georgia and becoming Co-Founder of Women Building Network has been nothing short of amazing. For the last 4 years, we have served the less fortunate with meals, toiletries and blankets. We have adopted families out of state and provided them with meals for the holiday season. We have volunteered with numerous organizations as well. 

There is always a need to serve and give back. We never know what a person is living through behind their smile. 

We're currently preparing for our 4th Annual Blanket Drive, on December 5th, 2015. It's a day of service where we bring our children out to serve and our loyal/ faithful supporters come out as well. If you would like help in any capacity, please feel free to leave a message below. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to sprinkle a little salt where ever you go.  We are the salt of the world!! 

Signed, 

I GiveBack 

Coins...

Saturday's are extremely busy.. But the rain rescued me from a bunch of driving. Football for my son was canceled( YES) and because my body cannot sleep past 6am even on the weekends; I got up cleaned and did laundry. Since I had a number of towels and comforters, a trip to the wash house was much needed. 

To my surprise, it was extremely crowded this morning. There were women everywhere. I later talked with the owner( he's a VET) and he explained 2 Saturday's a month he caters to one of the local 1/2 way homes for women. That definitely made me smile. 

As I put my clothes into the dryer, there were 2 women to my left talking. The shorter one said, " I put my last 3 quarters into this dryer, my fingers are crossed that everything dries". I politely asked, " do you need more quarters"? She responded, " No ma'am but thanks". I continued adding clothes to the dryer. What I then heard turned my stomach in the worst way. The taller woman then said, " I have to school you younger ones. When someone asks if you want extra money, if you need it or not you better say yes". I wanted to walk back over there and say something but I chose the high road. 

Every year, my women's org: Women Who Network, give back to the less fortunate children, women and men of Atlanta. We provide toiletries, homemade soup, sandwiches, fruit, water, chewy bars and a warm blanket. Yes we receive donations but for the most part, we fund this event solely on our own. Am I complaining? NEVER! But when a person would chose to try and swindle me out of a few extra coins, it makes me question their actions. 

I know, I know. Everyone is faced with some type of hardship. But sometimes, God disperses his angels on our behalf. Never ever block your blessing out of greed, God sees all!! 

I was hot earlier but now I'm feeling much better about it!! Im thankful that my 7th sense( Queen of Nosey: don't judge me) kicked in!! Lol

Signed, 

I need ALL my Coins 

No Shave November Say You.....

So ladies, I must give you a truth. I'd never ever heard of No Shave November until last year.. I know, was I living under a rock or something? As I began to talk to more of my girlfriends, it became evident that beards on men was the thing. 

I began intentionally looking for them. Not that I was obsessed or lusting but I was checking for the difference. You know a baby's bottom clean face vs a grown man face. It became clear that a MAN( there's a difference bc some boys have beards.. #catchIt) with a beard is where it's at. 

I later learned this year, that once you've kissed a man with a beard, you can no longer kiss a man without one!! HA 

So yes, this woman( and a few of my closest sisterFriends) definitely agree that each of you should, "Let it Grow".. But listen, we need for you to groom them, keep it trimmed, washed and cleaned. I was told its a lot of work.. Well sir, we're here to assist, just ask!! 

Here's to the month of Novemver and all of the eye candy!! We're here for it!! 

Signed, 

I support No Shave November!! 👨🏾

Lessons

I was once told that I write best when I'm hurt. Today, I beg to differ, I write the best when I've learned a lesson. Personal lessons are definitely ones that stay with you the longest. 

I was reminded that Life is the ultimate teacher. Each lesson comes with a small price to pay. Some lessons are valued at a penny and others, there's no value equivalent to the lesson you learn. 

 Today, I learned that it's more important to value yourself than to expect someone to acknowledge your worth. We're worth the truth and no lies, we're worth more than Im sorry and I'll do better. 

As I shed a few tears today, for once they did NOT come from a place of pain but a sincere place of closure. I'm a natural born fixer but I'm learning that I cannot fix everyone and everything and I have to be okay with it. I do know, the lessons I've learned in these past 2 years have not been all bad. 

I've learned to stand alone and be okay with it. I've learned the energy I produce will be the energy I get back. I've learned that no matter what in the end, I have to be okay and happy with me 1st before I can help anyone else experience happiness.. 

They say when a woman is quiet you should be worried.. I've learned that it's better to be quiet than to be a babbling fool.. Everyday my son reminds me, " Mommy be calm, it's ok" and for once I embraced and welcomed the "Ok".. 

Signed, 

Just another Lesson 

Bright Light....

I remember being at a point in life where I was over everything... Failed relationships, failed friendships, family issues, job related issues.. I was absolutely over it ALL. If you were on the outside looking it, it seemed quite together.. 

Crumbled... 

However, there was this little bitty light in me that would not go out. I found the strength to keep pushing. I found the strength to pick up those crumbled pieces, figure out how and where they fit and try it again. 

When there's a force bigger than you living on the inside, there's no way you can give up. It's easy to wallow in hurt and sadness. But the real test comes when you're able to shine Bright through it all. 

Today my loves, I challenge you to live a life where your positive light speaks for you. Allow your light to speak when you walk into a room full of doubters. Allow your light to be someone else's sunshine. Allow your light to shine and give others hope. We're only as bright on the outside as the light we carry within... Today, I will shine. I will attract what I put out: Love & Positive vibes.. 

Signed, 

I shine Bright like a Diamond!! #believeThat 

The exchange....

Everyday I strive to become better. A better Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend, Business Owner, Writer( thank you guys for ALL of your comments and support) and last but not least, a better Lover.. 

I can count on one hand the number of serious relationships I've been in and if the Gawds are looking out for me, my last relationship will be on that same hand( last as in forever, the big shaBang, "The Matrimony"as Wale and Usher delivered," If there's a question of my heart, You got it".... Yes Usher!!! 

One might ask how can you become a better lover when you're single? Easy! By loving myself. By loving myself, I'm able to love others. Hasn't always been easy to love after experiencing numerous heartbreaks( and I can be honest, I'm not perfect but I strive to be understanding and caring). You can only get what you give. 

The world is trying to sell the dream of women being independent and I fully get it.. However, the load would be lighter with someone there to help. Listen, there's been plenty of days where all I've needed was a shoulder to lean on or to hear the words you're not alone( Momma I luv you and thank you for all your support) from a strong supportive man. 

Women, it was never meant for us to do this alone.

And men, it's totally okay to be the bread winner, have nice things and be on top of your game but why do it alone? How nice would it be to come home to a nicely prepared hot meal( not hamburger helper: YUCK) and a bath( don't front, y'all like baths and that sweet soft clean aroma too).

Somewhere, in the middle we have to learn to compromise. It sucks that so many of us have been hurt and we have walls and we're afraid to love or be loved again. Love is like a roller coaster. Some days it's high, way up there at the top and it's good. Some days, you're at that not so high place and it's a struggle. And some days, you're just there dangling.. Yup dangling, holding on for dear life. 

But the exchange happens when you and your partner are in tune with each other and you talk thru it. I've never been one to just clam up( hence yesterday's blog Shut Up). I honestly believe communication is the key to everything. Im guilty of overtaking but you'll never ever be able to say, " I didn't understand where you were coming from". I put my truths, my fears, my likes and dislikes out on front street. We're getting to old for game of hide and seek. I'll tell you this but you figure that out. Tuh, oh no! 

Lovies, let's be willing to love. Love past the previous hurts and disappointments. Love past previous lies. Let's learn to be open and embrace new things and new people. I love my independence but I'm so ready and willing to share with some one. Great Love is not built overnight. It takes willing hearts and minds to find it together. 

I'm challenging everyone( myself included) to be optimistic.. I want to exchange more than texts, phone calls, wet kisses, you get where this is going. Lol

I want to exchange today for tomorrow, next week for next month and next year for forever. ( I hope I'm not becoming a hopeless romantic blogger.. Lol) 

Signed, 

You won't know til you try