Heaven nor Hell

"It's the ones with so much to say that can't do anything for you"... ~CTH

There was a point in my life where I cared so much about what people thought of me that I wasn't living my Best Life.  I was so caught up in not being judged or talked about that I found myself walking on egg shells most of the time. And for why?! These same people I was so worried about couldn't offer me a pot to piss in, nor a place to lay my head if I ever needed it. 

Once I learned to start living my life, I quickly learned that the ones who I was trying to please are the same ones now judging me!! I just couldn't win😒

The harsh truth is that, even on your best days, someone is going to find fault with what you're doing. You decide to change areas of your life, you're now acting like you're to good. You decide to cut your hair, you're going through something. You decide to relocate, you're chasing after a man( or a woman). 

I promise, some people are just so darn miserable that no matter what, they'll never see the good in You or what You do. 

Our main goal should always be to live a life that honors God and a life that you're proud of. I promise, people will drive you crazy and talk about you for being crazy when they're the reason!! Tuh 

As the year comes to an end, my only goal is to end on a high note and happy that I've accomplished all I set out to do. Call me crazy if you want, I'm going to still be and do ME... ( but please understand, while I'm still being worked on by God, chill with the name calling because there's always that potential for backlash lol). Call me bougie if you must, just don't be mad that I chose to stop settling!! 

My Lovies, misconceptions are false views and opinions of us. As we live and grow in life, false truths will no longer bother us. At the end of the day, always find yourself in a place of pure happiness.  And that my friend will keep your A game strong and your life on track. 

I read a saying once, " if you're going to talk about me, at least say she always got her stuff together"... Let this be your motto too!! 

Happy Wednesday Y'all!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka everyDAY

WHAT?!!!! Ohh, ok!!

"Gossip and innocent Sistergirl chit chat are 2 different things, in life know the difference"

"Yes girl, I'm telling you"... That exact phrase can go so many ways and the messed up part about it is, when it means no harm but is made into something so deathly where you start hearing and seeing subliminal messages.

The heart does not lie. And if you're truly in-tuned with yourself, yours will tell you instantly when you have said or done something wrong. 

A few weeks backs, I repeated something to a close friend, that spiraled out of control. Did I mean harm by it? Of course not. But was it taken out of context? Absolutely YES. And I felt it instantly. But I never thought it would hurt as bad as it did. And let's not front, we've all been in situations where what we thought we were protecting or coming from a good place, went completely down hill. 

We live in an age where being in a "clique" or feeling accepted is the norm. I've met some great people on my journey. Some I know we're sent for me to learn a specific lesson and some were sent to help me become better in many areas of my life. 

I digress; when I started KISS there was a team. We were building KISS together from the ground up. We were both family oriented women and we both were ready to step out and make KISS work. However, life's changes would have our journey together to shift and that's ok. 

In all things, God knew the course that each of our lives would take and it's worked out for both of our good!! #noHardfeelings

Just like with Sistergirls and friends. Some are meant for the long haul and some just merely for a season. But what hurts the most about seasonal relationships is when they end prematurely because of misconstrued words. 

I remember growing up. I wanted so hard to be popular. I mean, I was a cheerleader and we all know cheerleaders are cute and popular. I had to learn the hard way by making my own bed hard that everyone will not like you and it's ok. Learn to love and accept yourself for who and what you are. 

Now that I'm an adult, I've learned rather than be in the middle go to the source. That's a hard lesson that many of us have not learned. 

My Pastor back home always said that if we think our brother or sister have an ought against us that we should immediately go to them and fix it. I always hear those words and when my heart tells me I'm wrong and I've hurt someone I'm big enough to 1) apologize and 2)explain myself when my words have been misunderstood. 

Today, I'm stronger because I have finally grasped that concept. It's definitely been a matter of growth and maturity for me. 

Even in my personal life; I've learned not to attack with my words but come from a peaceful and loving place. So if that means to step back from the situation until I have the right words I do just that. Who wants to feel disrespected and hurt in any relationship? Surely not I. 

Will we make mistakes with our words and actions? Absolutely because we're human and not 1 person is perfect. I mean, we all aim for perfection but it just doesn't happen. And let's not get caught fooling ourselves with the thought that we are. Because hunny, that fall is going to hurt more than you'll ever know. 

I make mistakes

I'm human

I Love

I Forgive

 

And the best part about making mistakes is that even when people want to hold grudges, not talk to you for clarity and send subliminal messages, God truly knows your heart. 

Today will be a good day. I will get passed this feeling that I have. Each day, there's a lesson to be learned. It's just a matter of seeing the material, understanding it and applying it to your life. 

I challenge each of you, be strong, be confident and stand by your Words. If you're hurt, talk it out. You never fully know a person'a intent until you talk to them.

Signed,

No Harm meant, ILY

Pee U, that STINKS...

Most of you know I'm a Mother. I have 2 little ones. A diva style 7 year old daughter and a 6month old little boy who's beyond active!! I love it.. What sucks the most is when they both use the bathroom. My daughter has her own bathroom that's shared with the guest and my son, well you get it,,His bathroom travels with him. But once its on him, he screams and moves like a mad babyboy til I change him.

I'm quick to yell to my daughter, " Close your bathroom door", and with my son I change him as soon as I smell it. I was once told, my sense of smell is amazing..

I said all that to say, Can u smell a bad situation from a mile away? and what do you do?
Life is teaching me, when it smells bad throw it out. Same with anything that's toxic.. When it smells it smells: PEE U!! The more we keep stinky stuff around, the more it lingers and gets into the atmosphere. And there's nothing worse that the smell of dirty friends, dirty relatives, dirty lies and untruths.

And sometimes, we add to the stinky smell by not ridding ourselves of it on contact. We can't say we've changed when we welcome the mess daily.

I remember there was this girl in my 4th grade class we called'Stinky Tanya(name was changed for this piece) I mean this chick smelled. Instead of us helping, we made it worse and crushed her as a person. Kids are honest but yet the boldness we possessed hurt her in the process.
As adults, if we could learn to be bold about the truth and stop pacifying people's feelings, there would be less stinki"NESS" floating around..
If its a toxic friend, throw it out
If its a toxic phone call, hang up
If you walk in on a toxic conversation, leave!
Let's stop adding more stink to the Stink..( that's funny)

Pee u, that STINKS and I refuse to smell it!
How ironic, my son just pooped.. Shoot! Here I come son!