But who are YOU anyway....

Last week, I witnessed an acquaintance suffer with mistaken identity.. The sad thing is, in no way did he resemble the actual culprit. It has bothered me for a number or reasons. 

He's a black man and our men suffer enough and two, he now has to explain to others that it wasn't him. This could cause problems for him in the workplace and in his home life. People are so insensitive at times. 

As I pondered on this blog, my mind took a trip down memory lane and I looked at some of my old blogs. I've always considered myself to be a great writer but that "trip" proved a point to me. I'm not the writer I once was. And to attempt to identify myself with the old Blogger, would do me no justice. 

I've grown, matured, lived a little, witnessed a lot and it has molded me into who I'm becoming. My yesterday's identity has nothing on who I become daily. 

The thing about our identity is, as we become more of who God has created us to be, we lose and shed what other's have perceived us to be. 

Learning and becoming my true self has been an amazing journey. I've found my Strength, my Peace. I no longer worry or care about other's thoughts or what they consider to be who I am. Honestly speaking, you can't tell me who I am because I'm evolving DAILY... Whew! We change daily. 

And while we can never change our genetic makeup, birth DNA; we can changed ourselves physically, emotionally and mentally. 

Today my loves, embrace the True you. Only YOU know who and what matters to you. YOU know your truths and your untruths. You know your plans for the future and you know the road you plan to take( unless God throws in a monkey wrench, He's Good for that lol). Live and embrace you. I mean it's YOUR identity at stake.. Be you, be True!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka".... Have I changed so drastically and you've remained the same"... Tamia( Stranger in my House)... 

Patience

Well, today is Monday! If you follow my personal IG account ( neka_th), I tested your patience and sent you to my Blog IG!! Well, here goes!! 

Yesterday, after a much needed nap, I was ready to enjoy the rest of our Sunday afternoon. My son goes to an amazing PreSchool. Very community and family oriented. They have a partnership with our local Publix( supermarket) and they deliver baked goods twice a week. Matthew enjoys taking the bread but we rarely eat it. Sighhh 

So, I came up with the grand idea to feed the ducks. He was extremely excited.  Our first attempt was Roswell Recreational Park. He walked the trail, even saw water but no ducks. He played for a little while then we left. He kept saying, "Mommy we have bread in the car but we haven't fed any ducks". I responded, "I promise son, I'm going to find the ducks". 

We then drove to Riverside Park. I knew there would be ducks there. We parked and began the search for ducks. We walked the entire park and along the trail of the Chattahoochee River. We FOUND the ducks but they were on the opposite side of the River. A guy passed us and heard us talking. He told us the path to take to reach the other side. We hit the path. In the process, we stumbled upon a sacred garden. We walked thru the garden and I felt God's presence. We read the names on the different statues and my daughter said, "Mommy I feel like we shouldn't be walking on this ground because it's Holy". 

We were soon saddened. Once we reached the bank we could no longer see the ducks. By this time, the kids were over it and they just wanted to play at the park. I told them it was ok and to enjoy the park. However, I just couldn't shake not finding the ducks. So I began walking AGAIN! I was determined to feed the ducks!! I walked along the wooden path and as I reached the end, I looked down and the ducks were there!! Right there!! Finally! I tired calling my daughter's phone but she didn't answer. In solace, peace and quiet I fed the ducks ALONE!! It was in that moment I heard God's voice. "It's ok to go after ME alone", "it's okay to have patience", "I got you and you're going to have everything I promised you"... Trust ME!! 

Wow, God hasn't forgotten me!! 

As of late, everywhere I look I see God. I see/ hear him clearer than I ever have in all of my 37 years of life. I'm understanding what it is to trust him and believe him. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to continue having patience. Continue to seek what you know to be true and watch God make a way.. Patience is key!! 

As I returned to my children, I showed them the pics. Boy was son upset. He wanted to run back to the river and see them but they were already gone!! Don't miss your opportunity by being to fast. The best things in life take time.. And as always, I will patiently WAIT!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka... ~ they that wait, shall inherit the desires of their heart~ CTH 

Hidden Blessings..

I was absolutely tired this morning when I got off work. So tired that my entire body ached. I knew I couldn't go to bed right away because my mechanic was enroute to fix something small on my truck( which by the way, after I watched him

I could've done the job myself). He was done by 9:30, I was in bed by 10am. My heart was in Decatur at my church but my body was aching and I was restless, literally. 

When I got in at 6:50, I grabbed some clothes and I showered. The particular pants I grabbed, I'd been looking for them for weeks. Not for any reason in particular, they just happen to be my fave Victoria Secret Pink sweat pants. I finished my much needed bath and proceeded to dry off and dress. 

Out of habit, I always stick my hands in my pockets after getting dressed. As I stick my hand in my pockets, I felt a roll. I instantly pulled it out and to MY surprised, there was $45 rolled up in my pocket. I tried to remember where the money could've come from and I kept drawing a blank. All I know, I haven't wore these particular pants in about 3 or 4 weeks. 

Anyhoo, I'll take the $45 for the win! Once again, God has looked out for the girl. This last month or so has been nothing but extreme wins for me! My heart is full and I'm extremely excited for what 37 is bringing my way.. 

My Lovies, surprises/ blessings come in all shApes and forms. Never be so caught up in your own situation that you miss your good thing/ blessings. What's even crazier, sometimes our blessing/ good thing is right up under our nose.. Stop sniffing other gardens and appreciate yours! I'm ready and winning!! I got next! 

Signed, 

Cheneka Wins!! 

My Love...

...and if you threw a party, you invited everyone you knew. You would see, the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say, Thank You for being a FRIEND... ~Golden Girls 

I promise I want to grow old with my best friend Moneka Mashaè( I'm Cheneka Trenè, creepy lol). I've lost count of the years, I know it's 20plus. When we 1st met, it was not peaches -n-cream. More like oil and water. But as time progressed, we grew to love and appreciate each other. 

Although we've always been in different states, it's never caused any issues. 

The last few months have been a bit trying for the both of us. I must admit it has strengthened our friendship on a whole new level. I've always prayed for her and covered her but to actually pray with her during some dark times solidified that we didn't become friends just because. She is my sister, my kids' Aunti. She's my ROD( to the fullest). 

We've been pushing each other out of our comfort zones for the last 2 months. We've agreed to become each other's  accountability partners as well. 

It's evident that in this life, we all need that one person ( or 2 or 3) we can count on when there's no 1 else. 

We've both had a few petitions before God. I've been battling with continuing my business, education and job. She's been battling with her job. We both gave each other deadlines and I'm proud to say that as of today, we both have new jobs, my business will continue to flourish and I'm going to kick school's butt! With her, I've found strength and a new level of appreciation of her and our friendship. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to take a moment and let your closest know how much you truly appreciate them. I'm blessed beyond measure to have her and a few others who show me daily that they have my back. I pray that I'll continue to always have each of them around... 

Signed, 

Simply Grateful Cheneka 

My MoodaPie..

When your little girl is no longer a little girl.. Sighhh 

My daughter traveled over the holiday break to our hometown to spend time with her father and his family. I'm always ok with her going, I'm just never prepared for the length of time. ( Long distance Co-Parenting blogs soon coming)- she returned Sunday and it felt like it had been an eternity. Yes, I talked to her daily, face timed daily but it wasn't the same as having her right within my touch. 

I try not to tell her this but she's my little best friend some days. I look to her to find the strength to keep being great because ( although my son is watching) she's actively watching and taking notes. 

I'm always amazed at how mature she's becoming but the conversations we've had since her return have seriously blown my mind. I'm always plucking her brain. ----> I digress: Yesterday, I had a friend to ask why was I interrogating him and it made me later think. Was I? But it's really just my human nature. To properly communicate, we must ask questions and because I'm A parent, I sometimes find myself using those techniques more than I should. 

Anyhoo, the more I talk to my daughter, I realize that she's like me but better. She has the potential to be better because I refuse to settle for anything less from her. I was worried with raising her without her father being in close proximity but I'm realizing we're doing fine. We have a village and although it's made of mostly women, I have awesome men as well who look out and who are genuinely concerned for both Li and Matthew( it does not replace her father but it eases my mind). 

I'm preparing to go back to school and as we talked about how our lives will change just a little, she reminded me, "Mommy I have your back and I'm so extremely proud of you". She also said, " I'm going to stay on you about getting your homework done and I'll keep Matthew quiet while you study". My heart was full. 

I also understand that sometimes, she's an ear hustler! Lol but it's ok because it keeps me on my toes with monitoring my conversations when she is in my presence. I try my best to live my life the same in front of her and behind closed doors, it's the only way. She said to me yesterday, "Mommy you are my best friend. I get it, you're my mom and you don't want to be my friend but sometimes I have so much fun with you". Just talking about her and watching her mature brings tears because there's been times where I wanted to give up but her love for me kept me going. 

Our 1st year in Georgia was hard. We moved twice within our 1st year. I never really talk about it but I questioned my move my 1st year. It was just the 2 of us literally. I didn't work the 1st 6months by choice. Once I started working and meeting ppl the load became lighter and I now know, it strengthened us and grew me up. 

Oh my babygirl Li, who will turn 12 in about 2months, I thank God for your life. I'm thankful that I get to look at you and watch you grow. Sometimes, I cannot believe how much you've grown since we moved to Georgia. My little girl who's now taller than me. I Love you my little Mooda Pie and although I'll never openly admit it, you're my best friend too. 

Signed, 

Simply Your Mom ❣❣❣

You'll know it's Real...

I've learned that it's not LOVE that has hurt us, it's people who have pretended to love us that have hurt us. 

Love is an action word that carries a lot of emotions. What makes love so real is that it allows us to genuinely look past our hurts, flaws, heartaches and failures and share an intimate piece of our heart. 

I must admit, I haven't always been in a place where I've wanted to LOVE. But as I've grown and matured, I realize the Love I've shared has been deposited into some people who have never experienced true love. 

While we find it easy to hide behind hurt, build walls and ignore what our hearts speak, when it's your time to be on the receiving end of the Love you deserve, there's nothing or no 1 that can hinder it. 

Today Lovies, be thankful/ appreciative  for the ones who love you with no pretense. Accept that their love comes from a place of honestly. It's time for us to stop running from Cupid and allow the arrow to get us. One of my favorite artists sang, " when you love someone sometimes you gotta let them go and if they come back it means so much more"~ Vivian Green

Live and be in Love. 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

 

I'm in Love...

Oh yes I am! In love with the concept of building a life that I love.. 

Took quite a few bumps, detours and start overs but I finally get it, I got it and now I'm good. 

My first shot at being a business owner has been an amazing success. I knew my idea would work but who knew for 4 years my service would remain in demand? I'm forever grateful to my clients and staff for trusting me and riding the waves. 

As 2015 comes to and end, I'm beyond excited for all the new things I'm allowing myself to build upon. When you love someone or something, you'll go to the ends of the earth to make it work. These size 7.5s have taken me far in 2015 and in 2016 we will continue to trod the distance. 

I've found out that waking up happy every single morning sets the tone and the atmosphere for my day. Life is looking up. I'm not only building a life that I love but I'm building a life for my children to love. It's exciting yet scary but I'm

Here for it. 

Love Life: it's going to happen. I believe it, trust it and I'm excited.. 

Physical Life: I'm going to continue working hard at being aware of my body and tuned into my need to be healthy and fit( on my terms). 

Parental Life: I'm looking forward to watching my children grown and become who they are destined to be. 

Spiritual Life: God hasn't left me, he won't leave me and as long as I stay receptive he's going to keep guiding me.. 

Financial Life: the more I invest in MY dreams and MY education, the rewards will be priceless. 

My Lovies, your declarations may be different than mine but if you start making them now and setting your self up for greatness, you will not fail. 

My heart is still full. For once I see everything coming full circle and I'm loving all that I see.. Stay tuned, only up from here!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

Silence

I Always had something to say until I finally realized that what I think ain't worth 2 pennies when it comes to someone's life and their truths. I can go back and forth with words until I'm blue in the face and ultimately, no 1 will win... 

We live in a very judgemental world. Until we learn to keep comments to ourselves, we will find ourselves continuously battling.. 

People will have something to say whether your life is together or whether it's falling apart. In our hands lies the ability to invite them in or to keep on living.I strive for today to be better than yesterday. 

I strive to work harder, love harder and to listen to listen. Sometimes our silence is appreciated more than a response. When we listen or read to respond, we miss the point. 

I've been feeling a little out of my element for a few weeks. Not necessarily good nor bad but just a frayed. And I was reminded Sunday that, life begans to feel uncomfortable as it shifts. So, I've began to practice making moves in silence. Yes, I have a few that I share my inner fears with but for the most part, I'm figuring it out without saying much.

My loves, I challenge you to live a good & fulfilled life. Who cares if you're being judged? Who cares if nobody understands? It's not for everyone but it's for YOU to understand. Sometimes the best lives lived are the ones that are lived in silence. We don't need an audience present for everything. Live and let live! 

Signed, 

I Ain't Said a Word.... #CatchIt

Adult vs Adult...

Is it ok for me to be absolutely, positively over being an adult? Well I am. I truly understand that we put ourselves into a lot of situations but sometimes being an adult is just overRated.. 

I remember growing up, one of the many lessons I learned over and over again was, " if you have nothing nice to say DO NOT say anything at all".. I've been guilty of saying a lot of things but maturity is teaching me to speak from a place of MY truths. 

Adults can be so tough on each other and what it boils down to is simply "misunderstandings", misconstrued words and the battle of not wanting to be wrong.. 

So tonight at this moment, I denounce my adult thrown.. I don't want it.. I return it to the Gawds of growing up.. Take it back!! Lol

But seriously, all jokes aside. We have to find better ways of getting along and expressing our feelings without beating the other up with name calling. 

I get it some of us may be tough but at the end of the day words hurt.. 

I challenge all of my adult friends ( because we're all grown), to respect the next person. Simple. As. That! 

Rest Peacefully, 

Signed, 

An Adult 

Telephone Love..... #NOT

      "Don't talk about it, Text about it..."
Although it may seem like a tad bit of humor, if you sit and think about it, there's truth to what you're about to read...






                                 

Ring, Ring, Ring... The way I'm feeling it can just ring!! I understand why I like to text and NOT talk... There's more drama than a little bit with that thing called the telephone.

 My daughter got her 1st cell phone. She kept asking, Mommy, can I have such and such phone number. Mommy how do you text.... Mommy, mommy, mommy!! I looked through her phone, she had already texted, her Godmom/cousin, Me and her Bff ( and called her Grandmother(my mom) I was like gurl, you're fast!!! LOL

 Then, I thought about real life and how conversations are miscontrued, people's feelings get hurt and how conversations become yelling matches. Sheesh, one would think. Isn't a phone used to keep in touch, share love and laughter??

I pick up my phone and the 1st thing I do is check my text. I leave VM unchecked and miss calls unreturned( unless I REALLLLLYYY need to return the call or talk to you). I'll tell you a secret( don't judge me), sometimes I'll look at the phone, see who's calling and not answer. And don't call from a blocked NUMBER, yup you go un answered!!! LOL

 Growing up the telephone was my best friend.. But after a while, I found there was always drama with it. Especially when that 3 way calling thing was big. I swear, some conversations were true set up... But, how true of a set up? Because, if you're big enough to say something, you should be big enough to repeat it right? NOT, for some that's the hardest thing to do. But, I can finally admit... I'm grown and if I said it I'll admit it. If it hurt your feelings, hmmmmm depending on the situation I could have meant it and then again, the person could've took what I said and used it against me but for their potential gain. Get my drift??

 In life, we all have our ships to sail. Bad weather will definitely make it hard BUT if we persevere there's no reason why it can't be easy sailing. If you have my number, do YOURSELF a favor and text/email me... I'll be quick to respond and if you can look past my typos( i'm still learning my iPhone) then we're good... But that telephone thing, if you're not calling to bare good news/ or sometimes bad, then.......... Leave a message~

Get Yo' Life...

  It's funny how we can take a funny phrase and make it into something with meaning.


 My Mother is a T.V Junkie. You want to know what's going on, ask her! And it's not a bad thing. My mom has earned her right do Nothing. She volunteers with the food bank at her local church and she gives of her time to the less fortunate.


 This weekend was a Get Yo' Life kind of weekend( yup, the TV junkie explained to me that it's a phrase used by Ta'Mar Braxton). What does it mean one might ask... Hmmmmmmm


I digress....
When people have to much to say about you and what you're doing, somewhere between mine and yours, they LOST theirs!! Don't try and help them get theirs either. Step away and mind yours( a hard lesson I've learned but by George I think I got it). When we feed into them minding our life, we give a slight indication that we're feeding into their mess.


These are just a few of the many indicators that someone needs to Get they Life...


Get Yo'Life when you have to much time on your hands to worry about others...
Get Yo'Life when you're miserable and make problems for everyone else..
Get Yo'Life when you're judgemental
Get Yo'Life when you're a trouble maker
Get Yo'Life when you're gossiping
Get yo'Life when you're backbiting
Get Yo'Life when you're doing too much
Get Yo'Life when you've lost your will to live Your OWN Life.


Getting your life it sounds funny but it's serious.  This weekend, my life was tested because I have a low tolerance for others who cause trouble. It's one thing to feel a certain way about me but to judge me and talk about me and make snide remarks when you don't know the Real ME~ I'm going to need for you to Get Yo' Life & leave mine alone..


 It's so easy to loose your life when you're so engulfed in someone else's. Never be quick to judge because if you're not perfect or Jesus Christ himself walking on water, you're liable to make mistakes and fall along the way or even drown..


Living a blemish free life is hard. We all make mistakes we all fail but your growth and maturity is tested when you can walk away and just leave it alone.


Today,( well Everyday) I realize the importance of being in charge of my own destiny. With the help of God and people in my corner who really love me, I'm able to keep up with me. I can't keep up with someone else because, for every minute I waste is a minute I can't get back. 


As hard as it may be for some, Get Yo' Life... No matter the cost, measure or extremes you must take to keep it, you DO it! I bet you'll feel better!!


 ~Cause, ohhhhhhhhhh Hunny, I got mine~

I WAS her..Afraid...

I breathed to be excepted,
Wanted to know and understand what it meant to be loved unconditionally..

See, I was her..
Born to a teenage mother and father..
Born out of wedlock and my birth seemed to have caused more hurt than good...

I was her,
Never quite understood what it meant to have both parents because my home was broken..

I was her,
Did alot of stupid things to gain acceptance..

As I grew older, I learned that true exceptance comes from God..
I knew without a doubt that my Mother's love was unconditional...
She loved me thru my rights, wrongs, screw ups and successes...
She loved me when I went in the bathroom and cut my hair
And she supported me thru the loss of my 1st child...

But, that just didn't seem enough..
So, I became involved with a guy at a very young age..
And because we were young and both products of "Dysfunctional Families", in time we outgrew each other.. And that was okay

My growth,
Didnt come in the form of thinking I was better than anyone,
It came in the form of time to stand on my own and experience more than what Boston had to offer...

Ever felt like what you have growing inside your belly, or head is to big for some ppl in your circle to grasp?

Well, that was me..
I was ready to fly, ready to soar and take off...
But, I still had to hop before I could fly..

My wings took form in September of 2009...
My heart was ready, my soul was released and I knew my Ship had finally sailed in..
It's one thing to say I'm leaving, but its a pure satisfaction you achieve when you finally make the move..

I had to loose some things in order to prepare for this trip,
and I did..
I had to shed some tears and cut some strings in order to prepare for this trip,
and I did..
I had to say some hard goodbyes and leave some relationships unresolved in order to prepare for this trip,
and I did..

I WAS her!!!
Afraid of what tomorrow and the unknown held until I had the strength and courage to spread my wings and FLY...

I hold no regrets, I hold no grudges, I hold no animosity...
I exuberate LOVE, PEACE and CHANGE..

I know what it is to dReam, and watch dReams become a reality..
I WAS her,
looking out of my own soul while others dictated my moves...

I WAS her,
Afraid to be me~

I now LOVE and APPRECIATE who and what I've become..
LIfe has its up and downs,
Surprises and Disappointments,
BUT WE control what we allow to affect and move us...

Today,
I'm moved my the love of GOD and just being me..
Because,
I WAS her~
Afraid...