It's so easy to look at other people's lives and wish you had what they have.
New Year's Eve, my bestie and I had a 3 hour phone convo( yes we talk that long in real life, most days),about our lives. Our mishaps, bad relationships, good relationships, broken hearts, parenthood and divorce. Yes, we all suffer from one or all the things listed above.
It's so easy to be an outsider looking in to what is deemed as perfection. To add a cherry to my plain vanilla icecream sundae( don't judge me), my Spiritual Father, preached the exact same message during NYE service( I mean verbatim). I texted her during service telling her. It was as if he was on three way with us.
Just because it looks good from the outside, doesn't mean it's heaven on the inside. We get so caught up in reading more into what's there that we think our lives are horrible.
I'm learning it's best to be single than in a relationship where he has another woman he's promising to build with. It's best to lay in bed alone, than to lay next to someone who has kissed everyone but you.
I tend to shy away from blogging about love/relationships because I've been dealt a hand that I didn't ask for. Don't get me wrong, they all didn't start that way BUT somewhere down the line we just didn't mesh anymore.
But I'm Very optimistic these days. Cupid's arrow is messing with me and at some point I'm going to have to fully give in.
My question is??? Do perfect relationships exit? To an outsider YES but to the 2 people giving their all, their Mess is their love. I'm down for a guy who has faults, I'm down for a guy who may forget to put the toilet seat down, I'm down for a guy who works hard and needs a minute or 2 after work to wind down in his man cave. I'm down for the guy who's not rich but loves me Richly. It's not the monetary, it's his actions that will speak more clearly than anything else. And don't misunderstand what I'm saying ladies, it's not just the guy who has to do his part. We must pull our weight too. No nagging, no selfish acts. Prepare him a hot bath too, rub him down with massage oils, they like honesty too. Teach him to communicate with you( they tend to shy away from
Doing all the talking). They're not the best at communicating but this is where you will both grow together and In Love... Love each other like it's only the two of you in this world. Outsiders don't matter
Today my Lovies, the challenge is: to be honest with you. Love your flawed self. Not a soul walking this earth is perfect. I mean, we want to be but the truth is we're really not. Love all of your imperfections. And for the flaws you can fix, don't make excuses fix them.
We're all entitled to be with, Marry and Love the exact same person over and over again but better each day. If you're in a situation that's not yielding the Love you need, quit being a fool gather your ish and move along UNLESS you like the chaos. And let's be real, a chaotic life is not the business.
I'm no love expert but I know what it is to Love someone truly in your soul. For Love is an action. It's never ever Love that hurts us but people. Love yourself and Love the people who love you.
Cupid has a funny way of pricking us. Don't get caught up having a Will and Jada love because even they have bags full of trash too. Have a love that's uniquely designed for you, Flawed but Perfect!!
Signed,
Simply Cheneka
