Broken But it still Works...

Gosh I Love my children. When you become a parent, you learn early on that their needs are important and must be met. However, balance becomes key in maintaining a level of sanity for yourself. 

I remember like yesterday when I began contemplating relocating. My daughter's father and I were beyond broken. Restraining orders, police calls, neighbors becoming involved, guns drawn: this environment was no longer safe to raise a little girl. And while I so deeply wanted to wallow in my feelings, I had to do what was right for her. 

While it may have seemed selfish to up and move over 1100 miles away, the whole time her safety was MY main concern. As I look back, I had become so stuck in my daily routines that I lost myself. I was so lost that I didn't know I was lost. I had gained so much weight and I carried a fake smile although I was so hurt on the inside. 

I was good at it too. Until one day, I finally broke. This was not what my life had become. I needed to find Me...Again

Slowly but surely I did. I left what was comfortable and familar to embark on My Journey, with Chelia as my main focus. 

When I learned the importance of my strength and tapped into it, I found all the courage I needed. I often wondered( and still do) was my decision to leave the right thing? 

I see the growth in both of my children( I now have a 3 year old from another failed relationship) and I know it was. 

Yes, they miss their fathers but in order for me to be sane and give them the lives they both need, I have to take care of me too. 

Today, my heart is with all of the dads, moms, daughters and sons who feel broken. When phone calls are not enough and the tears seem to flow, find the courage and strength to know that you're still loved and appreciated.

Visits become your only sense of connection and boy can that hurt. Wouldn't it be so easy for all the broken families to live in the same state and be one big ole happy extended family? Yea, NO. Lol

I have so many friends who have dealt with divorce and the common denominator is, the safety of the children and their sanity. 

Just because one person ( or 2 in my case) broke you, leave room for love to find you again. Will it take a while? Yes it will. Will you want to give up? Yes. But when you least expect it, love will find its way in and it'll be perfect. Not just for you but the children too. 

Broken still works and as long as it works that's the proof that the hurt didn't kill you. 

Signed, 

My Heart guides Me