Hey You..

I absolutely enjoy complimenting others. I'm a Northerner, compliments weren't always easy to come by without it being followed by something slick. Now that I've migrated South ( 6 years strong of this Peach Life), I find it so much easier to compliment others. I will tell another woman she looks beautiful in a heart beat. No shame in inquiring about her outfit either! Lol I mean, if it were an exclusive I wouldn't see it posted on every IG Boutique.. Lol 

Compliments are good and for some people, they are needed. I've never been one to suffer from low self esteem but I have sistergirls who have and do. It breaks my heart because I find strength, beauty and love in each of them. 

When we learn to lift others us, it strengthen us as individuals. How you ask? Every single morning I stand in the mirror and I look at myself. I look at my nose that I used to hate. I've now come to embrace it because it's me. I look at the freckles now more visible than ever, I count the greys too. It's all apart of me. 

When I talk to ppl who are always complaining, I try my best to not feed into it but direct their attention to something positive about them. Sometimes it's a hard task but it's more draining to participate in a pity party. 

We all have moments of weakness. We're human, it's expected. But our daily goals should be to rise above anyone or anything that makes us feel inferior or weak. 

Today my Lovies, compliment someone! Better yet, compliment yourself. Have No shame in it either. Own your beauty and help someone else appreciate theirs. Be the added salt to the world, that is our charge right? Add taste to the tasteless?!! Ahhhh, #CatchIt!! 

Make it Great y'all, I just did because each of you reading today are beautiful inside and out.. And here's a squeeze just for you!! 

Signed, 

Lover of People, simply Cheneka!! 

Appreciation..

Lately, I've felt the need to tell people I appreciate them. So many times we say Thank You and while that's always a kind gesture, do we take the time just to say "I Appreciate You"? It's easy to thank them but do we earnestly speak the sentiments of our hearts by letting them know they are appreciated?

I've been in need of someone to listen for a few weeks. You know how life happens and sometimes we need a little reassurance? Yup, that's been me. I've learned to become selective with whom I share everything with. They may smile but at the end of the day, they aren't always on your team. 

I chose today to let each and everyone of you know that I whole heartedly Appreciate you. I appreciate your understanding each and every time I've come to you to cry, yell and talk ish about whatever I'm facing. I appreciate YOU. It's always been easy to say thank you but a struggle to know and understand what it is to appreciate someone. 

When we appreciate others, we're acknowledging that they do not and did not have to go out of their way to give of their time to us. 

Today my loves, take the time to let someone know that you appreciate them. We live in a world where everyone is constantly moving and living. But one thing for sure, if we take the time to stop someone with a phone call, impromptu dinner, date etc.., they will forever remember that. Texts are cool but it's the personal gestures that mean so much more. Let's be sure to live lives that exemplify gratitude and appreciation. Let them know now before you miss the moment. Hey You, yes YOU!! I whole heartedly appreciate YOU!! 

Signed, 

Cheers To YOU~ 

She Knows...

Lastnight as I sat in the kitchen after my hike, I got a text from my daughter. As most know, they are on vacation with my parents in Alabama. The text caught me a little off guard and it filled my eyes with tears and it filled my heart with love.. 

I was not expecting my daughter to send that. Although she is physically with me, she does communicate with her dad regularly and their relationship is loving. 

I've always cringed when ppl would attempt to honor me on Father's Day. I would quickly shoot down the wish because I'm confident in knowing I'm a great Mother. Although my role is a bit more challenging because I'm a single parent; it does not take away from who their fathers are. Had it not been for their fathers, my babies would not be here. I may not always agree with how they chose to be involved with my kids. However, I can honestly say it does not change who I am as their mother. 

Relocating was MY choice. Did I feel at times that my kids would lose out? Hell yes BUT in order for me to grow, soar and be who I am, I had to do it. Some days are harder than others. Some days I cry hard, some days only a few tears fall. 

Ultimately, I'm ok with just being their mom. I know there are things they can and will only learn from their fathers and I'm ok with it. I embrace them having a bond with their fathers. 

Today, in this moment my heart is full. Not because my daughter sent this text but because she understands that I play a significant role in her life. My Cubs and I are close. We grow together, we laugh together and sometimes we cry together. It makes us stronger.

I know some really Amazing Dads. I could never ever walk in their shoes as I would hope they would not want to walk in mine. I have one guy friend in particular who is the perfect model to keeping the lines of communication open after divorce. We talk quite often( well he does the most talking 💙) and he's always on the move to either see his kids or pick them up. I commend him quite often because dads are given the raw end of the deal. 

Today my Loves, let's find it in our hearts to forgive ourselves for some of the decisions we've made. As we forgive ourselves, let's then find ways to see the positive in our children's fathers( or mothers for my male subscribers). It's not always easy but it's possible. Our children's attitudes will be a reflection of our feelings and emotions. We grow wiser and stronger daily, let's pass that trait to our children.. 

Signed, 

I'm better because I'm NOT bitter 

Look at Your Girl...

So check it, I've struggled with being comfortable in my skin before. 

I wanted a nose job, disliked my wrinkled hands, contemplated a Breast reduction and fought with having the "banana ring"... You know typical woman stuff.. 

As I grew older, I began to process my thoughts. Was I trying to fit in or did I really need to fix my self imposed issues? 

I'm learning to understand my body and the things I put in it. If I want to lose weight or be comfortable in my skin, I 1st have to love ME. And I do, wholeheartedly with my entire being. I'm kinda a Big Deal, dope if I do say so myself! Lol 

A while back, I purchased this shirt. When I went to finally wear it, it was to small. Yikes! I couldn't button in for the life of me. Today, as I was cleaning and preparing clothes to pack for this weekend, I glanced at the shirt. I thought to myself, you've been healthy, working out, drinking water, no sweets! Go for it! So I did and look atcha girl( please ignore the hair, it'll be laid tomorrow😊 tho) 

Does the running man, I can fit it! HaHaHaHaHa!! Go me!! 

It's the small victories that remind me, girl you're alright! 

Signed, 

Let me get cute and wear this Shirt!! 

She is Me

She is Me 

And I am Her... 

Life hasn't been easy but she is finding Her way... Not alone

ReDiscovering 

Her passions

What makes her Smile

What makes her sad 

And what it takes to turn a frown upside Down

Understanding that Her life is to short to live Unhappy so She is Living... Not Alone 

She is Finding the Right Words and being in the Right Place for Love.

Because in order to receive She must Give 

And in order to Give She must start with herself.. 

I Love Her,

I Respect Her,

I appreciate her,

I Adore Her, 

She is the apple in my eye,

The beat to my heart. 

She completes Me

Ahhhhhh, the beauty in Accepting Me.

Because I have finally Embraced Me,

I'm Open to Good Love,

The Right Love

His Love...

Not Alone....

Signed,

She is Me

I Spy with my little Eye....

Eyes Speak a Language too.... 

Have you ever looked into a set of eyes and saw a person' soul?
Have you looked and felt their pain?
Their joy?
Have you understood what they were saying before they could speak?

Eyes are beautiful, for each set is unique.
Their color, shape, fullness and sparkle.
They see the world thru their eyes and determine a heartfelt interpretation.

What are your eyes saying too and about You?
This morning as I looked into the mirror, my eyes looked at me and saw
Strength
Love
Peace.

My soul is free because if in nobody else's eyes... I know God sees me!

See and understand, I do NOT come to bring harm, I want to bring and share Love
And to help others experience something so Devine.

Oh MY beautiful eyes, I Thank You for seeing ME when I couldn't see ME!
You saw behind my hurts, looked thru my fears,
And helped me to find my future self and bring her to light.

What's a vision if it's only blurred?
What's a voice if it cannot be heard?

My eyes.....
 You see this Woman who once was a Young girl....
A Young girl who once had a dream
And a dream that is now no longer deterred because for once
I'm seeing ME....

I look with anticipation,
I look with excitement.
As I look to the hills it's become clear...

All eyes are on ME
And I must
finish Strong.....

Signed,
 I see you Girl

He Picked ME~

Sidenote: This piece is just me getting in touch with the writer in me.. Not necessarily how I'm feeling today BUT it is bits and pieces of my life over the years... I hope that you can relate to it in some way and understand that no matter the circumstance(even for my male readers) He picked you 2~

I once read that, when you let out the fear, upsets, highlights and lows of the day, it helps you to sleep better. I don't know accurate that statement is but here goes...

Today wasn't a good day. I felt like crying more than I smiled and sometimes just to hold it all together I had to take moments just to let it all out.

They say LOVE is blind but how do you overlook the LOVE you see daily that treats you as if you don't exist?

Water is free they say, Whelp if you have to charge me 25cent  to pour it into a cup, I'll let that cup pass from me...

You want to get ahead, but the cards seem to keep dealing you "Uno" draw 4's and Skips....

My turn has been skipped again, the call went unanswered and here I am left like a drying leaf waiting too to be blown in the wind AGAIN...

Please pick me, pick me... No!

The grass looks greener on the other side but once I jumped the fence to get a glimpse and maybe take a roll in it, there were patches of brown where it hasn't  been watered.... Gone untended...

My soul, my soul is weary...
I just want to feel like Jesus is listening but my mind keeps saying,
"Girl, he Ain't thinking about you"..
So, i keep searching in hopes that Jesus will see me
But YET I keep hearing my own voice saying
Please pick me~

But what I've failed to realize is that I was picked way before my parents thought of me.
I was picked way before the hurts, misunderstandings, lies and pains..
He picked me~
Little ole me,
The girl that was so misunderstood that even I was afraid to spread my OWN wings and HE gave them to me.
The little girl, who wanted a nose job so bad I fantasized about being called cute.

Pick Me, Pick me..
Love me like there's no tomorrow,
Hold me close to your heart to keep me from falling.
Respect me as I respect you,
Understand me when I'm not even making any sense.
Listen to my dreams,
Understand my journey.
Don't try to change me
BUT
Enhance what I've already been called to do.
Understand there can be no REAL us, until You become true to YOU...

He chose Me for this journey..
I opened my wings, that HE gave me and I began to fly.

So on today,
Although I cried just a little,
my frown was replaced with a smile.
although, I'm questioning where I am in life today,
I know new horizons and opportunities will await me upon opening my eyes 2morrow..
Tomorrow is so close, so near, I smell it
Nobody is holding me back but me and these fears...

I'm going to close my eyes and look for me..
Look for that Woman
 HE has created me to be..
She's there,
Waiting to be embraced,
and you know, the most FASCINATING part about being Me is....
HE picked ME~

9 Months....

 The 9 months it took to "bake" my babies in the oven, does not compare to the LOVE I have for each of them.

 My daughter, Chelia AKA Mooda Pie is my sweetie pie. In her 8 short years, she's lived in 3 states, attended 3 schools and is very vocal about her likes and dislikes. Yeah, if you're EVER going to buy her any jeans they need to be SKINNY, a lesson I (re)learn every school year. Thank God for uniforms.

My labor with her was 17.5 hours, natural NO meds just ice. Those 9months( almost 10 because she was a little over a week), where breakfast consisted of cheeseburgers from Burger King with extra pickles and mustard,  did not compare to the LOVE I immediately felt upon pushing out an 8lbs 11 oz perfect little girl.

My son, Matthew Ashton is my All-star little boy FOR REAL... Son, as I affectionately call him is already a character of his own. At the tender age of 1, I already can tell he's going to be a rough lil thing and very outgoing. He's super active and he already tests his ability to get over on me. And, yeah I fail tremendously. He has mastered giving me wet juicy kisses and he feels that a kiss will right everything his little 1 year old inquisitive mind get into.

My labor with him was all of 3.5 hours. Again, natural just this time No ice. He arrived to quick!! LOL

None the less, I LOVE them. It took nine months to grow them inside of me. Feet swelling, body looking fluffy and swollen, hungry all the time but nothing ever hit the spot, some days scared some days excited, even spent some time questioning my decisions to have them at such an older age( being that most of my girlfriends had their daughters while we were still in HS, don't think Netta Girl"MOM" would've gone for that) 25 with Moo and 33 with Ash.

However I attempt to rationalize 9 months, it doesn't compare to the lifetime of memories I'm now making with each of them.

In my mind, for such a long time Mother's Day was a day to shower your Mother with gifts on top of gifts and an excellent dinner out somewhere. I've learned otherwise. Although I tend to splurge on my own Mom( for personal reasons), I'm learning to appreciate the little things and find joy in them. Yesterday, I spent it with my kids. We went to church( whew, took Son with me that was interesting he seemed to enjoy talking more while Pastor Dee preached), stopped at the grocery store and grabbed the last fixins needed for dinner, headed home, undressed right in the hallway, changed son into a tshirt and cooked dinner. Moo entertained me, herself and brother and we made the best of the day together!!! I changed more poopy diapers yesterday than I did the entire weekend and for some reason, I found myself watching Mommy Dearest, (ole crazy broad Joan Crawford..smh) by choice( well honestly was to lazy to retrieve the remote from behind the TV).

 Dinner consisted of fried chicken, field peas,black eyed pea mix with smoked turkey neck, perfectly cook white rice and corn bread. We washed it down with peach soda and for dessert, cherry pie, icecream and popsicles. I wanted to do more but the rain is NOT my friend when it touches my hair, you know natural hair will draw up pronto!! lol

9 months, has changed my life entirely. some days are good some days are bad. I do know for sure I won't trade them in for nothing in the world.

~A Happy mother's Day it was~

It's just the liTTle things...

" If people we're more apt to saying thank-you and not just waiting for a handout, like its owed to them; we'd be more giving and concerned"..

Growing up, Thank-yous were always said in my house. Just for the simple things. I remember when I got a full bed for the 1st time. I was a sophmore in high school and my mom surprised my brothers and I with new beds. You couldn't tell me nothing!! and what was the first thing I said? Yup, "Thank-you".

Life has taught me to be very appreciative. I'm teaching my children those same values. Although we never send them right away, I have my daughter to make personalized thank you cards for her birthday gifts and I'm going to teach my son to do the same.

It's 2 words that carry alot of weight, Thank-you. A thank you makes the difference in people helping you vs people passing you by. Sometimes, a simple thank-you will make you more willing to be of a help to others too.

I worked for the City of Boston when I lived back home. Our programs provided free services and support to under priviledged youth through various activities. I knew my kids appreciated the programs because to this day I'm still referred to as Ma by alot of them. But, to be in another state and parents say thank-you, it means alot to my soul. You never fully understand your impact until you are gone. Although I'm in a different state, I'm still available and that will NEVER change~

Sometimes, in our families thank-yous need to be expressed too. I have 2 cousins who mean so much to me. One calls me her big sister and her little sister call me her other mother. This morning, my baby( the little cousin) had a fb status up that said like my status for a comment and rate. She rated me, off the scale and told me she misses me. I don't know why but it did something to my soul. You every sit and just think about life and how through the ups and downs no matter what Love & Thank-You can conquer it all.

So, today is simple for me! I'm sending out thank-yous to everyone I love and know. Thank-you for being apart of my life.
Whether good or bad, Thank-You
Whether we speak everyday or not, Thank-you
For love and support, Thank-you
For friendship, Thank-you
For even not liking me, Thank-you the most( you're pushing me to not change and become BETTER)
For challenging me to become better, Thank-you
For removing yourself from my life, Thank-you, we weren't going in the same direction anyway)
For talking about me, Thank-you made me work harder to live a life that proves your words wrong


Is there someone you need to THANK today??


For loving me and

It's Not wrapped BUT I'll take it...

.."And your gifts shall make room for you".. Proverbs 18:16


I love my children. They make me cry, they make me smile. It's a mandate upon me to raise them to be GOD fearing individuals with a relationship with God, Me, their Dads and families. Since my children do not share the same father, I thought it would be hard explaining to my daughter( she's older)the difference but she understands more than expected at her age.

This holidays Season has been truly amazing thus far. This past Sunday, My Pastor said, " This will be your BEST Christmas yet"( He also said this last year and it was).

My daughter's grandmothers, great Aunt and her grandfather have shown so much love towards my son that my heart is overwhelmed. You know, sometimes, extended families only care about the child or children that are related to them. And, with being a stepchild, I totally understand that stance and respect it... As I've grown and matured in "Mommyhood", I've learned to separate my experiences and help my children live through theirs unbiased. It's easy to put yourself in their shoes when you feel like you have to go into protective Lioness mode.

I consider myself to be a good person, I'm caring and I go above and beyond when the situation warrants my involvement. I LOVE children, love them so much I started a business to help parents with theirs!!( Crazy huh) Growing up, my mom was a single parent, leaving my brothers and I to spend time at the community center and with aunts and uncles( and sometimes NOT blood ones). They helped to nurture us, they cared and gave of their time to us. Because of their care, I care. Someone took time with and for ME. so, I give back. I was their gift and I'm now sharing that gift!!!

When I think of gifts, blessings and favor: I have to remind myself that sometimes I won't directly recieve them but it will trinkle down to my children. My children are both so LOVED and to me, that's more than any gift, any toy or article of clothing money could buy.

1+1 definitely = 2 but love mulitplied 100 times over is what matters the most. It's not always the store bought gifts but the ones from that heart that we'll take and cherish the most!!