Sometimes you have to STEAL....

I love my family but sometimes, I Love being under this dryer so much more... There's no1 laying next to me taking all the covers, no snoring and Peace of mind. Don't front, Yall know you like stolen quiet moments to yourself. Where nothing even matters. 

My time at the salon is priceless. I get to kick up my feet, read a few magazines and actually check my emails ( and not feel bad). My time at the salon is reFreshing and it gives me energy for the weekend. Granted I have to drive a couple of extra miles out of the way but it's stolen me moments. And how about this, it gives me time to blog. 

Yeah, I know this is probably a pointless, meaningless blog today...

But hunni chile, these stolen moments gave me absolute life today!!

Signed,

Hey you, Enjoy this Saturday!! 

For MY Sisters

I haven't blogged in what seems like forever. You know, life has an extremely funny way of helping us to prioritize and focus on what's important. And then, it has a way of smacking us too. 

I love MY life. It's not perfect but I love it. Some days I'm entitled to be mad( and I am) and some days I'm just happy as happy can be. 

Lately, I've been practicing balance and making time for me. I'm so consumed with everything and everyone else that I was forgetting about me. If I'm not well nor happy then how can I make anyone else happy? I mean, I'd become so good at pretending until one day it hit me that, you're only fooling yourself because nobody truly cares if you're happy or not. May sound harsh but it's true. 

Today, I'm challenging my sisters. As I've listened to so many of my clients, sisterfriends and just women in general, the same message is resounding. If it's not bringing you happiness, let it go. If it makes you cry, dry your tears and let it go. If you can't afford it, don't front: let it go. 

If it's clouding your judgement, clear your mind and let it go. 

Let it Go

Let it Go

Let

It

Go... 

It's always so much more easier said than done but when you're losing sleep and pulling out your hair, yeah it's not worth it. 

Your IT can be anything. It's up to you to acknowledge what IT is and Let it Go.. 

In close, I love the liberty to blog and I love the ability to Let it Go!

I love Yall, 

Signed, 

I clean and throw it out!! 

Do It Again

Sometimes I feel I'm a very great listener and sometimes, I find myself getting to involved in what I'm listening too that I share about me.

A sisterfriend called yesterday just to vent. I listened intently. At the end of the conversation she asked, " Nek what would you do if you were me"? ( insert sound of skreaching brakes with an abrupt halt) Why me? I thought out loud( so loud that she says) because it seems like you have it together... Oh( while becoming humbled and eyes filling with water) " I don't have it together and some days I so wish I did". 

Her:But Nek, I never see you cry.

Me: you probably won't because I chose to do it behind closed doors in the comfort of my own home. Do people bring me to that point? Oh yes, but I can't let them see me break. 

Her: so is crying a weakness?

Me: of course not. It's a cleanse, well for me anyways. But I chose to cry in my secret place because if to many people see you cry or hear that faint tremble in your voice, it's a wrap. 

Her: well yelling is my thing and when I feel like someone is coming for me, I tend to eleviate my voice. 

Me: that used to be me but it's in that moment you kill them with your level headed reaction. I always think, how would my children respond if they see mommy acting a fool. 

Her: I've let so many people walk over me that sometimes I feel they already have the advantage. 

Me: You will soon become tired of being a doormat and at a disadvantage. But YOU have to become tired. YOU have to decide that you matter and that you're just as important. Your words matter, your feelings matter and so do your thoughts. Practice using the word I and speaking in the form of I, it will do wonders for your self esteem. Learn to just worry about you because at the end of the day, you cannot speak for anyone else. 

Her: see!! See what I mean. You have it together. 

Me: I don't, I promise. I've just lived a little, cried a lot and learned that each day is a fresh new slate and the chance for me to do it again just better... 

Signed,

Get up & Do it Again 

Pretty Wings

I remember this just like it was yesterday. I was out walk/running and I saw this beautiful butterfly. "She" was down. I watched her for quite some time. It seemed as though she took a hard fall and was trying to get back in her groove. As I stood and watched her fight thru it, I thought of all the amazing women I know. Married, Single, Divorced, Lost, struggling, Abused, Hurt, Confused... I thought of each of you. 

So many times, the cares of the world weigh us down. We take on everyone's issues an we lose our way. 

As I watched "her", she stumbled a few times, even tried to spread her wings but it was premature. She wasn't fully ready to spread her wings. I still continued to " watch".. In a way, I was like the world. Passing judgment on her, somewhat waiting to see her fail again. And let's not front, we know there are people out here who despise our process. 

I digress; I go back to this point because it's so true. Many people knew I was going to fail when I relocated.  They just knew this " butterfly" was going to find her way back home... But where was home? Home will embrace you, push you and support you.  Home, I was in search of home. 

Before I knew it, I had spent a great deal of time watching the butterfly that I'd lost track. What as supposed to be a brisk walk/ run turned into a self examination moment! 

I got my life and continued on my way. But my eyes were still watching her... I got back into my groove and I glanced back to look once again. And this time, the beautiful butterfly finally was able to spread her wings. And hunny, she was beautiful!! 

Today's challenge is to spread your wings. The things of yesterday are there for a reason. Yes it hurt, yes we cried, yes we wanted to give up but you know what? It wasn't time to give up. You have to go through to appreciate the good. Today, appreciate the good. Open your arms and embrace all that's headed your way because when you least expect it, it's going to happen. In life, most things start off ugly. We have to pull back the layers to find the beauty. Today, find Your Beauty.. 

Signed,

My wings are Healed, let me Soar

Light it Up.... Blue of course!

"Nek, when you first meet them they might cry, your face is new and you're not part of our regular routine". That's what my cousin told me the 1st time I met her twin boys. I didn't get it. I've worked with children all of my life, it's expected. You know " Stranger Danger". But apparently, it was deeper than that. Her husband later explained they suffer from Autism. As I began to spend more time with them, became apart of their routine, they began to enjoy my face and hug on me! That made my heart smile.

I have a few Awesome Sister girls whose sons also suffer from autism. I watch them and marvel at their strength and preserverance. We are quick to say what we can, won't and can't do until we are placed in a situation where there is no room for can't and won't. 

Today, I just wanted to take a few moments and salute my amazing cousin and my Sistergirls. When I think of each of you, I think of your strength. You make the world a better place because of your patience. I'm sure it's hard and overwhelming some days but you do it. Through tears, hurt, blame: you put on your wonderwoman capes and you fly. 

I stand with you in this day and I too will light it up blue. I'm not a nail polish lover but Blue is my absolute favorite color.. So my nails are painted and today we light it up together!!

Signed,

It's a Happy Blue kind of Day

Ohhh Friday

There was a time when midnight, 12am Friday my weekend was planned based off what was available in my bank account. And don't let it be a week where over-time was earned and deposited or the Union won a settlement for my department. 

What a difference a new environment, atmosphere and position in life can bring. I was working for the City of Boston and anyone who works or has previously worked a City/ State or Government job; you know the benefits and pay are quite well. 

Today, I'm no longer prompted to call and check my direct deposit because I now work for myself. The rewards are daily and it's not ALL monetarily based. I've obtained a true since of Peace with what I do. I no longer have to weigh the options of working overtime or spending time with my family. The best part is, I'm MY own BOSS!! Yes, I'm a Boss!! 

Today, cash does NOT rule everything around you. Yes we need it to survive but killing ourselves to have it and you're not appreciating it is a waste of Your time and Your energy.

Let today, this FRIDAY be your best Friday yet!! Money is good but it can cause us to do crazy things when we don't have enough. Save for a rainy day but in the meantime, after home is taken care of take care of yourself just a little and that my friend is a reward you deserve.... 

Oh Friday..... What will you bring me today?!!

Signed,

imHappy

imFree

money does NOT rule ME 

If only for a Moment...

This morning I woke up feeling just like a " bag of money". What it truly means I'll never know ( I have lame girl tendacies), however I woke up feeling great. Prayed and started my morning. Washed my face, brushed my teeth and got my daughter up for school. 

Proceeded with the morning and because she was running late and I was feeling good, I dropped her off at school. I smiled at the other cars driving thru the drop- off line and wondered if they were feeling like " a bag of money" like me.  Lol

I arrived back home and continued feeling happy until.....

I started checking on my sister girls and they had so many things going on with them. My heart began to sank and some revealed they were in their feelings, 2 felt discouraged and one dealing with serious family issues. Ahhhhhhh, the woes of life. And it never stops. There's 24 hours in a day and if you're anything like me, you go thru the day attending to everyone else's needs and not your own. 

My challenge for you is simple: if only for a moment find a reason that fills you with laughter, joy, happiness and smiles. Take a few moments and make them yours. Heck, think about that " bag of money" and how you would spend it... 

.... Tithes, shoes, new vehicle, vacation, a house, yup you get it!! Just to name a few. 

Don't worry about tomorrow, for it is not here. Use today and focus on what can be done to bring YOU happiness. 

I'm sure there's a rap or phrase that goes with a " bag of money" but in the meantime, if only for a moment I'm going to live like I got it!!

Signed, 

Cheer Up, put a Smile on your face!! 

Stop being greedy

Yesterday was clean the fish tank day. We're horrible. The little tank goes months on end without us cleaning it out. Once it gets to like 1/2 empty, I'll just add fresh water and solution. Don't judge us, we named the fish Lucky. Lucky to be alive, lucky to be fed just plain lucky. 

My morning was slow, so I took a few minutes and cleaned out Lucky's tank. It was nice and sparkly. Afterwards, I even fed Lucky because I honestly didn't know the last time he'd been fed. 

As I prepared dinner, I happen to look up and son poured half the container of fish food into the tank. Ughhhhhh and anyone who has goldfish you know they will just continue to eat. 

Within a matter of 20 mins, the water was blurred and lil Lucky was still eating. And it hit me. Lucky has human characteristics. No matter what, if you feed a Person something they like, they will continue to come back. Feed a person garbage ( ie, gossip) they keep coming back. Feed a person knowledge they will debate it. 

Today, I challenge each of you to remove the clutter and garbage. Quit over eating on the things that are not going to edify your brain and your soul. Take a moment or two and love on your life and the good that's added too it. 

Remove things of the past than have hurt you and made you feel unwanted, less than or not enough.

Over eat on your success and not the failures. Over eat on things that are healthy. When you leave room for garbage, before you know it there's tons waiting to be thrown out... Take a moment and throw it out before it stinks!

Signed,

iEat

iGrow

iLearn

IMoveForward 

Just for Today

A few years ago, a Sistergirl back home was undergoing hand surgery. Ahhh, hand surgery. If know one else understood I did. I've endured more hand surgeries than a little bit. 

I knew exactly what she was feeling. The fear, anxiety, the uncertainty and the end result of a nasty permanent scar. 

I promised her, "Love Muffin"( my name for her) I'll be praying for you. Because I was already in Atlanta; physically I could not be there but I knew my prayers could. That morning I texted her a prayer and Love & Peace will surround you today where the words I sent to her.

Today, I share those same words with each of you. We are responsible for declaring these things in our lives. We give no room to anything to take them away. We are responsible for our Peace, we are responsible for who we Love. We must work at keeping all negative Love from flowing in our lives. 

Peace is just what it is, Peace. And if it ever feels compromised we must fix it by all means. When you take authority over these areas, it's in that moment you are in full control. 

Today, I will allow love and Peace to not only surround me but flow from the core being of who and what I am. 

Signed,

iWin

imPeace

iLove

WHAT?!!!! Ohh, ok!!

"Gossip and innocent Sistergirl chit chat are 2 different things, in life know the difference"

"Yes girl, I'm telling you"... That exact phrase can go so many ways and the messed up part about it is, when it means no harm but is made into something so deathly where you start hearing and seeing subliminal messages.

The heart does not lie. And if you're truly in-tuned with yourself, yours will tell you instantly when you have said or done something wrong. 

A few weeks backs, I repeated something to a close friend, that spiraled out of control. Did I mean harm by it? Of course not. But was it taken out of context? Absolutely YES. And I felt it instantly. But I never thought it would hurt as bad as it did. And let's not front, we've all been in situations where what we thought we were protecting or coming from a good place, went completely down hill. 

We live in an age where being in a "clique" or feeling accepted is the norm. I've met some great people on my journey. Some I know we're sent for me to learn a specific lesson and some were sent to help me become better in many areas of my life. 

I digress; when I started KISS there was a team. We were building KISS together from the ground up. We were both family oriented women and we both were ready to step out and make KISS work. However, life's changes would have our journey together to shift and that's ok. 

In all things, God knew the course that each of our lives would take and it's worked out for both of our good!! #noHardfeelings

Just like with Sistergirls and friends. Some are meant for the long haul and some just merely for a season. But what hurts the most about seasonal relationships is when they end prematurely because of misconstrued words. 

I remember growing up. I wanted so hard to be popular. I mean, I was a cheerleader and we all know cheerleaders are cute and popular. I had to learn the hard way by making my own bed hard that everyone will not like you and it's ok. Learn to love and accept yourself for who and what you are. 

Now that I'm an adult, I've learned rather than be in the middle go to the source. That's a hard lesson that many of us have not learned. 

My Pastor back home always said that if we think our brother or sister have an ought against us that we should immediately go to them and fix it. I always hear those words and when my heart tells me I'm wrong and I've hurt someone I'm big enough to 1) apologize and 2)explain myself when my words have been misunderstood. 

Today, I'm stronger because I have finally grasped that concept. It's definitely been a matter of growth and maturity for me. 

Even in my personal life; I've learned not to attack with my words but come from a peaceful and loving place. So if that means to step back from the situation until I have the right words I do just that. Who wants to feel disrespected and hurt in any relationship? Surely not I. 

Will we make mistakes with our words and actions? Absolutely because we're human and not 1 person is perfect. I mean, we all aim for perfection but it just doesn't happen. And let's not get caught fooling ourselves with the thought that we are. Because hunny, that fall is going to hurt more than you'll ever know. 

I make mistakes

I'm human

I Love

I Forgive

 

And the best part about making mistakes is that even when people want to hold grudges, not talk to you for clarity and send subliminal messages, God truly knows your heart. 

Today will be a good day. I will get passed this feeling that I have. Each day, there's a lesson to be learned. It's just a matter of seeing the material, understanding it and applying it to your life. 

I challenge each of you, be strong, be confident and stand by your Words. If you're hurt, talk it out. You never fully know a person'a intent until you talk to them.

Signed,

No Harm meant, ILY

Pottying 1 on 1

It's been Hell but we've made progress! Yes, Potty training boychild. 

There's been good days and bad. Some days where I feel he has it and some days where I've been tempted to get diapers and call it a day. I mean, I potty trained girlchild in less than 2 weeks but this lil joker; I've been drained. 

And the worst part has been the fact that I've successfully helped other parents but couldn't do it for my own child. 

I was talking to a former client and she said, " Neka you're making it comfortable for him by letting him have a pull op at night"... Ouch! I had to hear it I guess. So I finished out those last 4 pull ups and he has not wore one in going on 3 weeks. 

Wow! It's been that long. My heart smiles. I knew it was time, it was just a matter of reassuring him that he's a big boy and sometimes big boys make mistakes. He has not wet the bed since our transition. And while he has not mastered going "stinky", I'll take him saying, "Ahmee I potty", and we make a mad dash to the restroom. 

My little boychild is becoming a big boy. And I'm ok with letting go. It's such a different transition with my son than with my daughter. But as we grow together, I'm anticipating all that's in store. 

Parenting isn't the easiest but these small wins, I'll take them Any Day!!

Signed,

A Happy Mommy of a Big Boy 

Just tell the truth.....

Life is hard... 

What makes it harder is when we think we know it all and we don't. I know I make tons of mistakes. I make them daily but the cool thing is knowing, God knows my heart and when I fall and make mistakes( as I'm prone to do) He's going to catch me and forgive me. 

Although I try my hardest each day to be better than yesterday, I still make mistakes. You know why? I'm human.. Along with being human, sometimes I talk out of turn and sometimes I talk to much. We all do it. Ever heard the phrase, " the gift of gab"? ( raises hand) I have. 

Since on my Journey, I've come to find out so much about me. What I perceived myself to be while in my twenties has drastically changed now that I'm older. 

It was cool being popular, now I'm content with who and what God has placed in my life. 

Dear God,

Thank You for understanding,

Thank You for talking to me and correcting Me when I'm wrong... 

It's not what people say but ultimately what you say. God I'm listening and I thank you for loving me enough to correct ME... These are my truths, love me for who I am and who I aim to be... 

Signed,

Not Perfect But I'm trying! 

She is Me

She is Me 

And I am Her... 

Life hasn't been easy but she is finding Her way... Not alone

ReDiscovering 

Her passions

What makes her Smile

What makes her sad 

And what it takes to turn a frown upside Down

Understanding that Her life is to short to live Unhappy so She is Living... Not Alone 

She is Finding the Right Words and being in the Right Place for Love.

Because in order to receive She must Give 

And in order to Give She must start with herself.. 

I Love Her,

I Respect Her,

I appreciate her,

I Adore Her, 

She is the apple in my eye,

The beat to my heart. 

She completes Me

Ahhhhhh, the beauty in Accepting Me.

Because I have finally Embraced Me,

I'm Open to Good Love,

The Right Love

His Love...

Not Alone....

Signed,

She is Me

It WON'T Be this way forever...

This morning I woke up in a FUNK...

I mean it was something serious. I spazzed out and before I knew it, I was sitting in the middle of the floor looking at myself in the mirror doing the ugly cry( when I got a real good glimpse I made a mental note to myself, get dressed today girl, NO lounge pants)...They say tears water our souls, well I practically had a flood... I'm sure it was a well overdue cry. You know, we walk around with so much bottled in that when we finally let it out, it's an explosion...

I was a bomb of illegal firecrackers..( yup, just horrible), everything I could think of was running rampant..
                                            "God, why this, God, why that"...

When I finished with all of my questions to God, I heard him say, " Daughter, I'm here... I've never left you and stop letting the cares of the world make you feel less than".. You are more than enough"..

Wow, me? I'm more than enough?
 Sometimes, our insecurities( yes, I admit I have a few) will sometimes get the best of us and before we know it, we're beating ourselves up. I'll be 35 next month. While I've accomplished SOOOO much, there's still so much more I want to do. I'm a stickler for setting a time frame to have things completed in my life and after the birth of my son, it seems that things went in a total different direction.

Am I complaining, No because each task has been good for me. Oh, alot of them hurt but it didn't kill me. Alot left me speechless but I didn't lose my voice. It was in the quiet and stillness of my room that I understood WHY...

We make choices and decisions that sometimes make no sense( except to us) to the people around us. In these 4 years, I've learn the importance of following my own dreams and living my own life. We never depart with what we've been taught but as you live a little and make mistakes along the way; you learn.

I've learned so much about me. As I embrace what 35 will bring me, I'm FEARLESS. For so long I've been so fearful but God's voice reminded me," I took you from a place of comfort to where not a soul but a few cousins and your daughter's extended family knew YOU and  YOU survived".

God, I hear you... But was I reaaaaaally hearing him? Then he reminded me, I took you off a job that did not pay you YOUR worth to being a Business Owner. Not only am I a Business Owner but I'm operating in my call, helping women and children. So many women have come to me broken and together we've found their strength. Now is not the time to buckle CHENEKA( yeah, that's my government name)....

To each of you who will cross this blog today, it's going to be okay. Cry if you must, yell and scream too. Remember, God will still be there and it won't be this way forever. Everyday won't be sunshine and some days won't be as bright as others. The challenge is to get thru it and PRAY.. Praying makes the difference and know OUR FATHER listens and cares.. And when you can't find the words to pray, write them down or ask someone you trust to pray and cover you..( thanks Karm)

I'm not going to lie and say I'm 100% better right now but I'm smiling... I'm loved, appreciated, honored and supported... This to Shall Pass!

Signed,
It won't be this way forever...