Girls AREN'T always made of Candy....

 What a great weekend we had. The sun was out and so were we. We started in South Atl and made our way back to our side, North Atl.

We stopped at a little shopping plaza and ended up in Petco. Anyone who knows me, truly knows my kids love Beta Fish. Who wouldn't? They are cheap, don't last long and are fun to replace. We had betas a few months back, we woke up and all three were dead and YES they were in separate tanks. We intentionally waited to purchase new ones so let's see what happens.

So, the Petco Associate sold us a really great deal. We got a divider tank for betas, with a filter system and everything. So, when these two pass onto Fishy Heaven, we can start a mini goldfish aquarium.

So, here's the kicker. I finally set the tank up on Monday. ( I'm telling you our weekend took us all over Ga). I added the water and few rocks( note to self more rocks and plants) and treated the water. About an hour later I added the fish. The girl is named Britt( in honor of my kids Godmom, oh they love her so) and Rudy( the boy, son's fish).We enjoyed watching them get adjusted to the water. I mean they went from a small confined space to swimming in the Gulf of Mexico( iKid, lol). Time passed and we continued on with our day. I eventually feed them and  we moved along.

As the day turned into nite( how ironic), I happen to look in the tank and low and behold, Britt had somehow managed to be on Rudy's side. I mean, I do wear glasses and maybe thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Thank GOD for the iPhone because I immediately took it out and looked at the pics. YUP, that lil fresh girl snuck into Rudy's space. I watched them for a while and then switched her back. I got my cup of water and went to bed.

Tuesday AM I proceeded to tell my daughter and she asked, "mommy are you sure"? Excuse me.... I also told the Mr and he responded, "I don't know babe, maybe because it was late you thought that was what you were seeing"... what the geezie, nobody believed me? I mean it was late, is that really what I saw???

I figured, I wouldn't pay those darn fish any attention and secretly hoped someone else would notice it too... Before I could blink, my daughter yells" Mommy, where's Britt"? My mind almost said Boston but then realized she meant the fish. So, were both looking in the tank and this girl is back on Rudy's side. AHA!!! My eyes weren't  playing tricks on me. The Mr even came over too look and I won't repeat the words that came out of his mouth. She's a fiesty lil fish to say the least. Rudy was chasing her like a mad fish. Biting at her tail, head butting her. And with our own eyes, we watched her immediately go back to her side when it became to much for her!!! lol

Moral of this blog, Females we aren't always the sweetest!!! Yeah, we're sweet but we're trouble makers too 2 say the least!! lol

( This blog was written in fun, enjoy for what its worth)

Signed,
My Milkshake!!!! LOL

Treating Me with Common Sense ( Money Wise)

I had this teacher in High School( Mr.Frankie Hall) who was the cheapest, funniest Southern man you would ever want to meet). Mr. Hall was really adamant on reminding us to attend church over the weekend and getting in touch with the "Good Spirit" as he would call it. He was a Peaceful man but we could tell that life's experiences made him the way he was.

I had his class twice during High School, for African American Studies and Economics. I enjoyed AA Studies, but economics opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking about cash.  By my sophmore year, I had held down the same after school job for about 1 year and received a few raises ( Yeah, 125 weekly tax free was good money at that age). I wasn't the best at saving but I was never broke( I lived by the rule of tithing 10percent to my place of worship, still live by it now too).

Mr. Hall always had a way of amping us up in Economics Class about what he was going to teach. We would always hear talking in the halls about "Common Sense" and secretly( The Nerd in ME) anticipated the introduction of the book.
When he FINALLY passed it out, I quickly put my name in it and went through the book. Lessons on how to save money, how to invest and live better were just a few of the many worksheets we would be working on. I was excited.

There was this one lesson that has stuck with me throughout life and I'm now going to pass it on and share with you. As a mother, there are so many times I find myself forgetting my needs, putting aside my wants and focusing directly on the needs of the home and my children. People have the misconception that once you become a business owner and work for yourself that money flows freely. That is definitely a MYTH. You have to mentally and financially set yourself up to lose a little here and there. I'm learning how to budget my income $100 less just in case something arises with my clients.

But here is the challenge, in order to make time for yourself you have to invest in yourself. Another challenge has been paying myself what I feel I'm worth. Yes, another hard one but I'm getting the hang of it.

THE CHALLENGE: Find an empty jar and place it in a secret place that only you will have access too. At the end of each day, you can do 1 of 2 things, dump all of your change from your pockets, wallet etc or add $2.00 (DAILY). You will follow this process for 3 months straight without touching the jar or trying to count what's in there.  By the end of the 1st quarter( 3months) you can either purchase something for yourself, or invest it or save it in your account. The challenge is: that YOU will use this on YOU and nothing ELSE.  Sounds like alot but in actuality it is not. You are rewarding yourself. Job well done!
Thanks for being a dedicated Wife, Mother, diligent Worker, a Peace maker, A listener.. etc. These are all thankless jobs that go without the extra acknowledgement.

Since we are in mid January, you can either start today or wait til Feb 1st. If you are willing to take part in the challenge please, at the end of this blog, leave a comment with your name. I will blog follow-up posts just to check everyone's progress and the hear your stories. We have to build each other up and be apart of a support team for our sisters.

So, here's to an awesome 3months of saving and actually reaping the benefits of "kinda" putting you 1ST!!!Thanks Mr. Hall, years later Common Sense is still apart of my LIFE~



Signed,
A New Handbag in 3months...lol

Kids just don't Understand...( to the tune of Parents just don't Understand)

After my daily bus stop trip( to send my daughter off), I had a quiet moment so I jumped on twitter. I get a kick out of some of the am tweets I read. So, I was twitter"duced" ( like introduced) to @bigkwabenaSharif by my sistergirl. I figured, he's a Northerner like moi and I'm sure to get some laughs. I'm telling y'all since I started following him, the laughs have been non-stop.

This am, he tweeted, "The amount of balling ima do when I'm in my forties is gonna be astonishing. LOL" I hollered. When, I think of my 40's I'm like its quickly approaching.. This dude getting ready to ball out soon. Then, he shared he started having kids when he was young.. That shattered all of my hopes and dreams. When I'm 40, my oldest will be 15 and my youngest 8. Yeah, I won't be balling out anytime soon!! LOL

Shoot, I'll still be having bday parties at Chuckie E. Cheese and places like Catch Air, because there's such a gap between my children. 15, as a girl was crazy. I was busy staying fly, & being popular! The little money I did get was used buying sneakers, getting my hair done and shopping in the Gap Outlet in Downtown Boston.

However, a 7 year old girl and boy experience things differently. When I think of my brothers, those dudes we're climbing trees, still hanging in the park, taking karate classes, playing with Ninja turtle figurines and being cops and robbers. Doesn't sound like its going to be alot of fun in my world. LOL

I'm telling you, our kids don't understand. When you're a "REAL" parent, there's NOTHING you won't do for your little people. There was a time in my life where dropping $300/400 for a handbag was nothing to me. Now, 2 kids later I have to wait til those things go on sale( and sometimes find them on clearance). I used to get my hair done weekly, now if I remember or have a free Friday AM, I'll go in. and let's not talk about tax returns( which he's tweeted about also), because although it's some extra money, Real Parents, end up finding ways to spend it on the kids( after taking care of a few things of importance).

So, while ballin out in my 40's would be nice... I'll politely wait til I'm 50. My youngest will be 18 and if he knows like I know, he'll definitely be at some University on scholarship. He won't be getting my greens anymore( I Kid, no matter how old they are, they will still be my babies)...

Signed,
I'm Ball OUT 1 day too!!!

( Thanks for the Inspiration& Laughs Kwab)

Extreme Clean OUT~~~

" I LOVE shoes"

 I remember a few weeks ago, I was running around cleaning like a mad woman. Yelling at my daughter and son too( like he was listening) " Come on y'all, we cannot go into 2013 with a dirty house, Grandma Netta will kill me( my Mom)". Not only had I worked that day BUT I had to work that night as well with NYE sits ( I run a Nanny/Sitter Service). Up until 10:45pn, I was getting MY house in "order". Quickly cleaned my bathroom( cleaned Li's the day before), changed my sheets and washed the last 2 loads of laundry. Cleaned the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher, vacuumed, wiped everything down and forgot about my closet. Sugar rumps, I HATE tackling that closet. BUT, to my own surprise I sat there, in the middle of the closet and really took the time to sort thru my shoes, clothes and EVERYTHING else.

As I sat there, I looked at each pair of shoes and had a memory or two. My shoes are the other children I'll never have "physically". I'm super anal when it comes to my shoes, they are in individual clear boxes and they are labeled. And the array of shoes I have is sickening. I have shoes some would call ugly, shoes that make me feel like Beyonce', I have custom shoes made JUST for my feet and a few pairs of sneakers that balance it all. My mind said to just close the door to the closet but MY Spirit said, "Ummmm, you can't clean 1/2 the house and leave the part that needs the most work".

Let's fast forward to today.....AM prayer....( dReam Center Corporate pRayer for the next 21 days, you're welcome to join us 6am, (218)339-0803 access code 4209)

Pastor William Murphy...." You can't put new wine in old skins"..Ahhh Haaaa..I couldn't go into the new year, expecting an abundance of "NEW Shoes" and still harboring old shoes that just didn't "fit".....( just a comparison)

 The same energy and passion I have to care for my shoes, I'm using that same energy to channel my life and way of living. I'm working on my heart because that's always the one place that needs to be cleansed. And not that I'm an evil person but I'M HUMAN.... We make mistakes, we think we've forgiven others, we think we're over situations but it can easily be sparked...

Everyday, is a reason to dig a little deeper and purge. Everyday, is a reason to throw out something, EVERYDAY is a reason to drink water because water is life and it's PURE...

I challenge each of you to drink water more and to refrain from eating things that are not healthy for you... Not because its a diet but because you're cleansing yourself for all the new you will intake this year...

That:
new JOB
new CAR
new HOUSE
new BUSINESS...

 It's coming!! So why not start the extreme Clean Out: Today???

Signed,
 A Cleaning Mad Woman

I CARE enough to tell ME NO~

 One of the biggest fears in MY life was disappointing people. I had a hard time telling others No and I went above and beyond to see others smile. All the while, I was losing ME and forgetting that I existed.

Like a load of bricks, it hit me one day," Chile stop". If I wasn't happy in the process, what was the purpose.  When we do things and we do them from the heart we find joy and it's peaceful. However, when it's done just to be done, there's no real fulfillment.

Wisdom and age has taught/is teaching me to make me a priority(MY life & Respecting MY decisions). I know it's easier said than done and sometimes it's a battle but the only way to do it is IF I care for me.

I have been surrounded by a number of different people while living here in the South. Many people have the Southern way of living confused with being small time. Yes, it's true it's not as fast but when you adjust your mindset and your way of living, you soon learn it's what you make of it.. In the process of my relocating, I realized in order for me to become better for my daughter, I had to become better for Me. In order to receive what's been set a side for me, I had to care enough for me. And in order to care for me, I had to discontinue some of the things I was doing. It's a proven fact that sometimes, what we think is so good for us is the most detrimental. It tears us from the inside and works it way out. And before you know it, you're sitting around looking like Miss Celie, somewhere rocking to death (I digress).. Sitting in jail( your detrimented mindset) about done rocked to death.

When you learn to care for YOU:
You will stop:
Blaming others
Seeking attention
and Embrace YOU~

None of us live perfectly but all of us can live in our own personally harmony.

Today, find time to look inside of you:
like.U
love.U
be excited 4. U

Care enough for you to say No and make those changes when and where necessary.
Signed,
She Cares

Not just YET....

 It's the 7th day into 2013.. While most people are still making New Year's Resolutions, (I don't bother with those anymore I now do vision boards, if you see it you're more likely to accomplish it, RIGHT???) some of us have dived in head 1st into the year with making changes.

I've seen the common beginning of the year phrases,
New Attitude, New Me
This is my Year
Can't nobody stop me.. ETC..

While saying those things are amazing, if you haven't made up in your mind to start on the inside 1st, how can you make all of those declarations?

I know I'm not perfect and as I grow older, it becomes evident that I will forever be a work in progress. While there are some things I've worked on and changed, there are still somethings that will forever be bothersome until I decide to work on me from the inside. There's a song I grew up on, it's simple:

Please be patient with me
God is not through with me yet.
When God gets through with me, I shall come forth like pure Gold.  Now, that's something to look forward too. Being as pure gold. Although I've outgrown the fascination with wearing gold, just knowing its pure and if I can get me RIGHT, I'll be as such?!!! Wow, God truly loves me.

The challenge set forth by my Pastor Murph is A Better Me~ I pondered on that yesterday during service. A better me? I'm already good. I have a business that's thriving, a Women's Org that's growing, a beautiful family that I call my OWN, I attend church and help where needed, I give to the homeless and I make time for others without looking for anything in return... No, Cheneka, that's not it dig deeper.

This morning, I woke up and it hit me like a ton of bricks, an Aha moment one could say.

Praying MORE( but God we talk, I pray, I read your word... BUT MORE, case closed)
Mending Relationships
Speaking/Acting out of Anger
Tit for Tat( females y'all know what I mean)
Holding Grudges
FORGIVENESS... Yes in capitals. While I feel in my heart I have operated in forgiveness, there's more to it.. Forgiveness starts with forgiving ME~~ What have I done to myself... Another post for another day.

So, as each day passes in 2013, I'm working hard on me. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit, well in my case its going to take 21 days for me transform. If you do something consecutively for 21 days it becomes the norm.

I'm challenging each of you to become better. You have things you want to accomplish, work on you so that when the door opens you can just walk through. You never know who you're entertaining. Be in a place always where there's nothing but good to say. How can one do this, you might ask?

Start by admitting, I'm not there just yet but if I work on Me, there will be no good things with held from me...

Signed,
Better = ME Cheneka T.

2012 was Yesterday... and YET it feels so last Year!!!

As I sit and reflect on yesterday, 2012; I'm excited for 2013. I' not going to rush anything though because perfection takes time. Take wine for example, they say it takes time for it to taste just right. The avid wine drinker will surely know the difference. Well, I'm an occasional drinker but my taste buds will tell me if its right, in between or horrible.

This year, plan to look at life and judge it in that same manner( figuratively speaking)... If something feels right, you will know it. If people are indifferent, let them GO. Don't force or impose on people. Let them be, work on enjoying you and the life you are embarking upon.

Challenge yourself to volunteer. I along with my #KISS staff,families and my Women Who Network Organization, provided 2 Community Service projects and it empowered (me)US to do more.

 We served about 100 people with homemade soup, sandwiches, water, toiletry kits,blankets and candy canes. We were deemed as Santa's little helpers!! It felt good to do good. And if doing good for the less fortunate is what it'll take to help them feel remembered then, 2013 it's all about giving. 


This group of people not only gave of their time but their listening ears and smiles too. Included in this group are 3 members of my newly extended family. God works in the most mysterious ways and I'm glad that my life has been a vessel in which they could be blessed. I Thank God for them and I know only time will strengthen our bond. To my daughter, other sistergirls, newly adopted nephew, nieces and my Sister Founder of the Network Lina, the work we started in 2012 must and will continue thru 2013.

And, if you've ever doubted that Senior Citizens don't like visitors, find time to volunteer at a Senior Living Facility. It will change your life. We're all children of God, no matter our age( or how we associate ourselves/life with HIM). And when you take the time to see about the least of his Kingdom ( babies/children and seniors)  it makes HIM smile!!! And in 2013, its about making HIM and others smile.  Who would've thought just passing out Reindeer candy canes will open up new friendships/relationships.

 As 2013 has entered with RAIN, remember water is a necessity for life.. Water is life and it helps us to grow... Drink water, share water and let water cleanse you...

My promise to 2013, I will drink from the well of water that never runs dry, I will steal moments during the day and tell God THANK YOU and I will GIVE unselfishly, because my giving comes from a place that has experienced having less.. Hugs and smiles are free, so work on your smile and embrace others whole heartedly!!!




Signed,
Cheneka is READY for 2013

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