I'm talking to YOU...

I'm up. It's 4:20am and never mind... Lol 

We got in from our Holiday travels close to 6pm. I had a long list of things to do once we got home. Unpack( who am I fooling, that stuff will stay in the bag until I need it), pull out holiday decorations, run to Walmart and relax. I guess my body said otherwise. I climbed in bed a little after 8, I woke up to 6 texts, 2 missed phone calls and a warm, cozy, toasty place: My HOME! 

Traveling is fun. Being with family and friends is heartwarming but nothing compares to being HOME. Whether you're married, dating, single or in between, Nothing says safe better than HOME. 

I know this is an earlier than normal blog but I'm sure somewhere, I have a subscriber who will read this( I hope)... Lol

My Lovies, I'm challenging you to Be Happy. My Thanksgiving trip taught me a lot. While people enhance our happiness; true happiness starts within YOU.. I remember praying to God that happiness would find me. That HE would send someone to make me happy. It wasn't until I started to shed unwanted baggage that I found HAPPINESS in its purest form. ME. #CatchIt

When I stopped chasing people and entertaining their bulls$&@t, I soon found out that I'm worth more than they could offer. 

So cheers to Thanksgiving 2015. This year, I stayed in 1 place and was happy. I wasn't running around trying to see everyone because for once, all I needed was at my mom's house. 

Who's up for this challenge? For the next 5 days,I want You 2 be HAPPY... Not that fake oh I'm happy, I want you to be happy in your soul. Love yourself, your Family, your Friends and be Happy in doing so. I find happiness in the simplest things these days. Thanksgiving night, I cuddled with my little people in my mom's ottoman and although it was tight, I was HAPPY. Of course they argued but it's expected, my babies are special! 

We control our destiny and happiness( I mean you do know God has the final say but that's another blog for a different day).. Let yours start today! 

Signed, 

Cheneka IS HAPPY😊

Food, Smiles & happiness

I truly enjoy Thanksgiving but by Friday I'm over it.. The excitement leading up to the preparation and cooking is quite fun but by the 4th time when I open the fridge and see tin pans, I'm over it!! 

Friday was spent with my family, a little shopping and more gobble gobble food. I attempted to eat some but my stomach said, "No ma'am, no way no how".. 

Alabama has definitely been great and my date life has been blessed!! The guy friend called me up and we decided we both were over Turkey.. We hit the streets and ended up at Rosie's Cantina. I'm not a huge Mexican lover but he is so it was cool. 

We enjoyed salsa with queso and tortillas, margaritas and I ate simple, salad with chicken( hey, I stick with what I know). Since we're still in his town, he enlightened me on the history of Rosie's. 

This Thanksgiving has been one of the best. Filled with good food, lots of dates, great conversations and adult time. 

Lovies, I hope you all have enjoyed your holiday as much as I have. Here's to old friendships going well. My little people and I are about to hit the road but I'm filled with more smiles and memories than humanly possible. My heart is full and for once, my happy place is starting to feel happy again.. 

Signed, 

Happy, happy, Joy, joy 

New Old Friend, New Dates..

I absolutely love this movie theatre. The 1st time I came here was with then boyfriend and one of his friends many moons ago. Lastnight, I returned with the same guy. Not as my boyfriend but as new friends again. The good thing about "new friendships", we're at liberty to decide if we'll entertain it or not. The fact that I enjoy his friendship and company more than anything made the decision to be friends again easy. 

When I first started visiting Huntsville, Alabama I could not see the beauty in it. I was this Northern bred girl who was slowly transforming into a Georgia Peach. And while it was never a thought to move here, my parents retired here, so I have to come over occasionally. Almost 7years later, I appreciated "date night" through the eyes of a mature(er) woman. 

Although we were running a few minutes late, we were still able to thoroughly enjoy Creed. Lots of hidden nuggets and self motivation in the movie. 

Afterwards, we walked throughout Bridge Street. I even entertained "Black Friday"and swiped my debitcard lol( tried to get him to swipe his but the store was closed.. Lol). Such a beautiful place and not because of the many stores either. It's definitely a place to come and just enjoy your date. As we walked, memories of dates he and I shared crossed my mind. While it's easy to get stuck in the past and reminisce, I chose to enjoy the new moments. 

My Lovies, it's not always easy to entertain people who once were. But when it's genuine, it doesn't hurt to give it a try. Learn to let old experiences stay where they are and walk through each new door with no reservations or high expectations. Who knows, you too may experience old friends becoming new again. 

Cheers to dates, they're always good and much needed! 

Signed, 

Another State I now Enjoy.. Alabama

Heaven nor Hell

"It's the ones with so much to say that can't do anything for you"... ~CTH

There was a point in my life where I cared so much about what people thought of me that I wasn't living my Best Life.  I was so caught up in not being judged or talked about that I found myself walking on egg shells most of the time. And for why?! These same people I was so worried about couldn't offer me a pot to piss in, nor a place to lay my head if I ever needed it. 

Once I learned to start living my life, I quickly learned that the ones who I was trying to please are the same ones now judging me!! I just couldn't win😒

The harsh truth is that, even on your best days, someone is going to find fault with what you're doing. You decide to change areas of your life, you're now acting like you're to good. You decide to cut your hair, you're going through something. You decide to relocate, you're chasing after a man( or a woman). 

I promise, some people are just so darn miserable that no matter what, they'll never see the good in You or what You do. 

Our main goal should always be to live a life that honors God and a life that you're proud of. I promise, people will drive you crazy and talk about you for being crazy when they're the reason!! Tuh 

As the year comes to an end, my only goal is to end on a high note and happy that I've accomplished all I set out to do. Call me crazy if you want, I'm going to still be and do ME... ( but please understand, while I'm still being worked on by God, chill with the name calling because there's always that potential for backlash lol). Call me bougie if you must, just don't be mad that I chose to stop settling!! 

My Lovies, misconceptions are false views and opinions of us. As we live and grow in life, false truths will no longer bother us. At the end of the day, always find yourself in a place of pure happiness.  And that my friend will keep your A game strong and your life on track. 

I read a saying once, " if you're going to talk about me, at least say she always got her stuff together"... Let this be your motto too!! 

Happy Wednesday Y'all!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka everyDAY

For my Sisters...

I'll Never ever compromise who I am

But when I see things worth sharing I must.. So here's my truth, I've been single for close to 3 years now. In this time I had to heal, refresh and learn things all over again. Honestly, I've never been one to flirt and such because I honestly just don't know how. What I would consider flirting never worked.. Sighh

I've just never been one to approach a man. I mean, let me be great! I feel the man is supposed to pursue me, sorry not sorry( hence the single life lol).. 

I saw this post and instantly I saw the truth in it. And while this isn't to bash men, it's definitely an eye opener to how and what they feel when we do not require more. Here's a truth.... I've met guys before and it's been a textaship.. Yes, I made that up. Lol

Not a real friendship because we just texted. I learned from doing so, 1, they'll soon fall off or 2, you'll soon become bored. And while either or both could occur, the fact remains neither of us requires anything of each other so this is the outcome. 

I honestly believe that sometimes men are just as nervous as we are about dating. And just like us, they experienced bad break ups, divorce, cheating, feelings of insecurity etc... 

But how do we start the process of requiring more? It's all so simple to say what could be done but it's not always so easy to follow through. 

Texting is cool, even fun. But if you're over 30( clears throat on the far side of 30, bless God..lol), your vocabulary should consist more than, WYD, TTYL, Lol, GM, GN, ROTF etc.. 

Hey, have a conversation with me, intrigue my mind. Give me something to look forward too. I'll admit, I like texting only because I like my iPhone. But baby, don't be fooled because I can talk your ear off in real life. I've had to learn that sometimes I must leave room for the guy to talk.  And although a few potentials have told me they enjoy listening to me talk, in actuality I'm talking because you're not engaging me. A requirement is, I need to hear your voice at least once a day. I need to know you were thinking of me just a little and you wanted to hear my voice. 

In dating and getting to know each other; simple gestures can easily become overlooked if they're not done consistently. A morning text definitely makes you smile BUT that afternoon call, where your face pops up on my screen as you're calling is awesome! 

A thinking of you text mid-day is cool but that phone call where he says, " I'm on break and I only have a few minutes so I called just to hear your voice", will get a kiss! Hey, we're all adults and we need to be real about our likes and dislikes. 

Ladies lets face it, sometimes we have to teach a man how to treat us. And if your lessons are incomplete and without directives, you're not failing him. You're ultimately failing yourself. 

This time around, I'm not failing. I'm putting what I want out there. I'm no longer dating to just date. I'm dating with my future in mind. Yea, I'll text you BUT it's required that I hear your voice. Yea, I'll entertain your short hand text but in person I'm going to stimulate your vocabulary. 

Let's stop settling and get what we want out of life and love. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to be with someone who makes you feel like you're on top of the world. Be with someone who adores you, who looks forward to seeing you. Be with someone who wants to know your plans for the future and not just where they fit in your life for right now. We're to old to play games.. 

And today's soapbox blog edition was bought to you courtesy of a post on instagram( are you following me? My personal handle is neka_th and my blog IG, NekaTSpeaks, cause chile I have a lot to say)!! 

Signed, 

I'm more than a Text!! 

PS... Thoughts and comments are appreciated, share them)! 

Short & Sassy

For as lonnnnnng as I can remember I wore my hair long. By the time I turned 19, I was slowly losing interest in it. I cut and donated my hair to Locks of Love for the 1st time at 20 years old. 

That was one of the most fulfilling days of my life. I've always found ways to give and help others, who knew giving my hair would make a difference. After that cut, i grew it back out for a little while. By the time I had my daughter 5 years later, it was long and full again. 

I think my hair became my saving grace. It was the one thing I had control over as my life began to go through many changes( the loss of a child, my mom remarrying and relocating, a bad break up and eventually my own relocation). 

Once I moved to Georgia, the urge to cut my hair soon surfaced. This time though, I cut in support of my child. I assumed due to our relocating and being in a new environment that it affected my daughter's hair causing it to fall out. Who knew, it happened due to a family's member's negligance to inform ME that she had relaxed my child's hair. I cut my hair so that my daughter would feel comfortable with having short hair. 

So many times, we put more emphasis on our appearance than we should. I love my hair but it doesn't define the amazing woman am I. Hair is apart of our cosmetic make up. We can change it at the drop of a dime( kind of similar to the way some of us change our clothes daily). 

I'm now 36 ( 😬) and I've come to appreciate wearing my hair short. It allows my mornings to be spent doing other things vs curling and styling my hair. I'm a proud member of the short hair don't care community! I've embraced it and I love it... My only prayer is that my ( future) husband will love it as much as I do.. 

Signed, 

Short & Sassy is the New Cool 

Women Who Network...

2 months into being a "Business Owner", I was asked by then client( who has since become one of my best friends and my partner with the Women's Organization), to sponsor a family for the holiday season. We sponsored 2 families that year. 

I had done tons of giving back to the communities I seved back home, served families affected by unexpected deaths, served kids in the local housing developments but it didn't compare to the feelings I experience after adopting my 1st family. 

My mom was a single parent. After her divorce, she moved my brothers and I back to Boston where we had family to support us. It was hard. I was fortunate to have an aunt with a home daycare and she made sure I always had a job. I learned the importance of a $ and how to save. I knew then that I did not want to experience some of the misfortunes we did growing up. 

Moving to Georgia and becoming Co-Founder of Women Building Network has been nothing short of amazing. For the last 4 years, we have served the less fortunate with meals, toiletries and blankets. We have adopted families out of state and provided them with meals for the holiday season. We have volunteered with numerous organizations as well. 

There is always a need to serve and give back. We never know what a person is living through behind their smile. 

We're currently preparing for our 4th Annual Blanket Drive, on December 5th, 2015. It's a day of service where we bring our children out to serve and our loyal/ faithful supporters come out as well. If you would like help in any capacity, please feel free to leave a message below. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to sprinkle a little salt where ever you go.  We are the salt of the world!! 

Signed, 

I GiveBack 

Even the greats Rest...

This was a busy weekend to say the least.. Football, hair appointment, my daughter needed time with her BF and then I had to catch up with my Women's Organization partner for a few laughs and lastly, a day trip to Alabama to be with my son's Godparents and the christening of their baby girl. I did a lot of driving! Whew! 

But it's worth it. To see my children smile, to smile with people who are close to my heart and to have weekEnd wind down with my sistergirl is so totally worth. 

As I sat on my couch this afternoon, I was close to pulling my hair out because I had nothing to blog. I texted a few of my closest like, I need blog inspiration when all along, I had something to say. 

I try to avoid always having a message to convey to my readers, aha moments if you must. Sometimes, I just want to talk about nothing and be regular. But nothing about Cheneka is regular. I'm fierce, a go- getter, a pusher, a lover, a giver, I pray, I listen, I cry and I laugh. 

And for once, it's ok to not have much of anything to say. Because as my sister/ bestie put it, "Even the greats rest".. ... Tomorrow is Tuesday, in my attempt to continue being great, I'll run/ walk three miles instead of 2 because I was tired today! Random I know but hey, even this blog is Random! 

Thanks to all of my loves who attempted to give me ideas.. A piece of each of you is present in this blog( you know who you are, I love you immensely) 💋

Signed, 

I'm Not just a Blogger... 

Relaxation....

I honestly believe I'm incapable of fully indulging in a relaxation day. I went to NC a few weeks ago and my body wouldn't let me sleep late. My routine has been the same for quite a few years now and I think I'm just stuck... 

If I could though, my ideal day off would be spent at a plush masseuse parlor, lunch at J. Alexander and a beautiful autumn walk holding hands with my special guy( I hope he's somewhere reading bc right now, well u know the rest... Lol). I'm a simple kind of gal and it doesn't take much for me to be in my happy place. 

I do attempt to have "MeTime" but sometimes it totally slips my mind. I know as the children get older, I'll have a little bit more time for myself. 

I'm aware of the importance of "MeTime" and it's sorta used to refresh yourself. I know when I'm feeling burnt out and either my Momm, my sistergirl in St. Lou or a few of my closest will remind me to take a moment for yourself and just breathe. There's Peace when you make time for YOU!! 

Up next, Ideal Day off! Who's with me? 

Signed, 

I just need a Day 

Duty Calls

My personal assistant would probably dislike me but she would definitely do all of my laundry, house chores( accept cooking dinner, Mary J told us best, Don't let a woman cook in your kitchen) and the Afterschool pick up for my business and clean the kids' fish tank! 

Some days I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I'm literally all over the place! While I take pride in being able to multitask and the ability to almost be everywhere, a sister gets tired!! Whew!! 

And let's not talk about that 10 gallon fish tank. I remember when I had to move it from the kitchen to the stand. I clearly wasn't thinking bc I filled it and treated it, not realizing I had to move it!! Duh 

I would definitely compensate her greatly. Just knowing it would free up some of my time would definitely help me out a lot. I thought I wanted to be cloned but a personal assistant would definitely suffice!! 

Until that day, I'll continue shuffling it all. I believe it won't be this way for ever. This blog gave me a chuckle and a little HOPE!! Lol

Happy Thursday, 

Signed, 

I'm Free~ 

My Love...

I was 6 years old when my grandfather "BrayDaddy" died. I remember us going to the hospital to see him during the end. Tubes hooked up to him, breathing assisted, all of it. I wore a blue dress to his funeral. I loved him more than words. I remember he would lay on the floor and I would sit on his back. He would let me do all types of crazy things to him. He was my favorite. 

He was the kindest man around. My BrayDaddy and he called me Two2. Although I was his granddaughter, I felt like I was his. My mom was a teenage parent and I spent a lot of time with him and my grandmother "Mamount". 

Today is Veteran's Day and in honor of BrayDaddy, I'm drinking a Barq's Rootbeer. It was one of his favorite drinks. It later became my favorite. It's amazing how we remember small things that stick with us for life. 30 years later, BrayDaddy you're still remembered as if it were yesterday. To hug you again would be amazing but until I can, I honor you on this Vereran's Day. 

Your Two2, 

Nek~ 

Silence

I Always had something to say until I finally realized that what I think ain't worth 2 pennies when it comes to someone's life and their truths. I can go back and forth with words until I'm blue in the face and ultimately, no 1 will win... 

We live in a very judgemental world. Until we learn to keep comments to ourselves, we will find ourselves continuously battling.. 

People will have something to say whether your life is together or whether it's falling apart. In our hands lies the ability to invite them in or to keep on living.I strive for today to be better than yesterday. 

I strive to work harder, love harder and to listen to listen. Sometimes our silence is appreciated more than a response. When we listen or read to respond, we miss the point. 

I've been feeling a little out of my element for a few weeks. Not necessarily good nor bad but just a frayed. And I was reminded Sunday that, life begans to feel uncomfortable as it shifts. So, I've began to practice making moves in silence. Yes, I have a few that I share my inner fears with but for the most part, I'm figuring it out without saying much.

My loves, I challenge you to live a good & fulfilled life. Who cares if you're being judged? Who cares if nobody understands? It's not for everyone but it's for YOU to understand. Sometimes the best lives lived are the ones that are lived in silence. We don't need an audience present for everything. Live and let live! 

Signed, 

I Ain't Said a Word.... #CatchIt

Coins...

Saturday's are extremely busy.. But the rain rescued me from a bunch of driving. Football for my son was canceled( YES) and because my body cannot sleep past 6am even on the weekends; I got up cleaned and did laundry. Since I had a number of towels and comforters, a trip to the wash house was much needed. 

To my surprise, it was extremely crowded this morning. There were women everywhere. I later talked with the owner( he's a VET) and he explained 2 Saturday's a month he caters to one of the local 1/2 way homes for women. That definitely made me smile. 

As I put my clothes into the dryer, there were 2 women to my left talking. The shorter one said, " I put my last 3 quarters into this dryer, my fingers are crossed that everything dries". I politely asked, " do you need more quarters"? She responded, " No ma'am but thanks". I continued adding clothes to the dryer. What I then heard turned my stomach in the worst way. The taller woman then said, " I have to school you younger ones. When someone asks if you want extra money, if you need it or not you better say yes". I wanted to walk back over there and say something but I chose the high road. 

Every year, my women's org: Women Who Network, give back to the less fortunate children, women and men of Atlanta. We provide toiletries, homemade soup, sandwiches, fruit, water, chewy bars and a warm blanket. Yes we receive donations but for the most part, we fund this event solely on our own. Am I complaining? NEVER! But when a person would chose to try and swindle me out of a few extra coins, it makes me question their actions. 

I know, I know. Everyone is faced with some type of hardship. But sometimes, God disperses his angels on our behalf. Never ever block your blessing out of greed, God sees all!! 

I was hot earlier but now I'm feeling much better about it!! Im thankful that my 7th sense( Queen of Nosey: don't judge me) kicked in!! Lol

Signed, 

I need ALL my Coins 

Appreciation..

Lately, I've felt the need to tell people I appreciate them. So many times we say Thank You and while that's always a kind gesture, do we take the time just to say "I Appreciate You"? It's easy to thank them but do we earnestly speak the sentiments of our hearts by letting them know they are appreciated?

I've been in need of someone to listen for a few weeks. You know how life happens and sometimes we need a little reassurance? Yup, that's been me. I've learned to become selective with whom I share everything with. They may smile but at the end of the day, they aren't always on your team. 

I chose today to let each and everyone of you know that I whole heartedly Appreciate you. I appreciate your understanding each and every time I've come to you to cry, yell and talk ish about whatever I'm facing. I appreciate YOU. It's always been easy to say thank you but a struggle to know and understand what it is to appreciate someone. 

When we appreciate others, we're acknowledging that they do not and did not have to go out of their way to give of their time to us. 

Today my loves, take the time to let someone know that you appreciate them. We live in a world where everyone is constantly moving and living. But one thing for sure, if we take the time to stop someone with a phone call, impromptu dinner, date etc.., they will forever remember that. Texts are cool but it's the personal gestures that mean so much more. Let's be sure to live lives that exemplify gratitude and appreciation. Let them know now before you miss the moment. Hey You, yes YOU!! I whole heartedly appreciate YOU!! 

Signed, 

Cheers To YOU~ 

Nothing Else Matters...

Some of my greatest joys are tied to Motherhood. My children are absolutely amazing. A little bratty at times but at the end of the day they are mine and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

My daughter is 11 and in the 6th grade. She's excelling in all of her classes. My son is 4 and he's in PreK.. Total opposite of his sister growing up. I mean he's a boy. It took us a while to conquer potty training and we're now working on reading, writing and pronouncing his words. 

I started working on name writing when was 2. I must admit, some days I was so frustrated because I felt like he just wasn't getting it. I figured, when it's time he'll get it. With being a former educator, it bothered me that I could help other kids get it right away but my own kid couldn't grasp it. 

School started for him mid-September. In a matter of weeks he was writing his name and spelling! I must admit, at first I was entirely in my feelings over it! How dare he go to school and all of my hard work is now accredited to his two amazing teachers? But it hit me, he needed an environment outside of working with mommy to get it. 

Just like life. One can know the way but sometimes it takes someone on the outside to push you to really be and do all you can. I marvel daily at how he's excelling. It makes my heart smile. It's hard at times, this whole single parenting thing but I know it's going to pay off. I'm thankful for the small victories. I know we have so many more hurdles to jump and I'm anticipating them. 

My Loves, I challenge you not to give up. There's a master plan and you're going to succeed just keep going. Keep moving forward. Don't allow anyone or anything to deter you from your BEST. Your best days are within reach, trust me I know. Stay strong, Work hard and don't give up. We didn't and now he's writing his name like a big boy!! 

Signed, 

Better becomes your BEST!! 

#catchIt 

W.O.M.A.N~

( Disclaimer: read for enjoyment, not judgement. Share a giggle or 2) 

There's something unexplainable about being a woman.. But let me tell you what it does to me when "He" says Woman! HA! 

The right man, can make you feel like the only Woman in the entire world! I've never been big on terms of endearment. I like babe of course and that's about it but as of late, Woman does it to me! 

Maybe it's because I'm an amazing woman or maybe it's because I'm finally becoming the woman I was created to be: Loving, Kind, Understanding, Patient and Classy.. Call me "Woman" with a little bass in your voice and it'll make me giggle!! 

As we grow and mature, it's amazing the things we learn about ourselves. I'm learning that being a Woman is a beautiful thing. It's even MORE beautiful when that one man acknowledges you as his Woman!! Say it with a little bass Sir!! "Listen here woman", yes I'm listening lol!! Say it again!! 

While we're not entitled to be acknowledged for carrying our Womanhood crowns, it's a great feeling when others see it and compliment you. Be the Woman that others aspire to be, not the one that's talked about. 

Signed, 

Yup, I'm a Woman 👸🏾

No Shave November Say You.....

So ladies, I must give you a truth. I'd never ever heard of No Shave November until last year.. I know, was I living under a rock or something? As I began to talk to more of my girlfriends, it became evident that beards on men was the thing. 

I began intentionally looking for them. Not that I was obsessed or lusting but I was checking for the difference. You know a baby's bottom clean face vs a grown man face. It became clear that a MAN( there's a difference bc some boys have beards.. #catchIt) with a beard is where it's at. 

I later learned this year, that once you've kissed a man with a beard, you can no longer kiss a man without one!! HA 

So yes, this woman( and a few of my closest sisterFriends) definitely agree that each of you should, "Let it Grow".. But listen, we need for you to groom them, keep it trimmed, washed and cleaned. I was told its a lot of work.. Well sir, we're here to assist, just ask!! 

Here's to the month of Novemver and all of the eye candy!! We're here for it!! 

Signed, 

I support No Shave November!! 👨🏾