I chose Victory....

I remember always thinking, when I have children they'll have their father's last name, they'll have this, they'll have that. All because I do not carry my father's last name.

Did it effect me as a child? Sure it did. Did it define me as an adult? No it did not. 

I remember growing up always remembering things from my childhood that were always not good. Yes I had fun as a kid but to me, it wasn't the fun that other kids talked about. 

Did it effect me as a child? Sure it did. Did it define me as an adult? No it did not. 

One of my biggest lessons, biggest spiritual breakthroughs came in the form of forgiveness. Yes I've heard many people say, you have to forgive so You'll heal. While that maybe true, I soon learned not only do you have to heal but you also have to forgive yourself so that you can move one.  

I know, why are you forgiving yourself? You're forgiving yourself because, if you're anything like me, you carried the weight of not feeling good enough. You carried the weight of being mad at yourself, you carried the weight of whatever was done against you. 

It's so second nature to carry extra baggage when you don't have too. We pick it up and it becomes part of our genetic make up. We carry being the victim almost like its a badge. 

I was hurt

I was ignored

I was talked about 

I was laughed at

I was judged

I suffered.....

You become tired of it but you don't know how to drop it. You want to smile but you lost it being mad at yourself because of how someone made you feel. 

When and how do you take back ownership of your own life? You forgive yourself and cut the excess  off! Is it hard? 

Yes it's hard.

Will it be easy? No it won't. 

But will it be worth it?  Yes it will. 

My lovies, let today be the day you chose YOUR victory. Let today be the start of something new for you. No more self pity, no more blaming, no more carrying the weight of the world. Carry your own stuff, that's all you're fully responsible for anyway. 

Join me in choosing, VICTORY!! 

Signed, 

Simply Forgiven, Simply Victorious, Simply Cheneka 

Just Slow Down......

I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I was when I first moved to Atlanta. I was going to take this big City on like nobody's business. I had so much to prove. I had to prove I was good enough, I wasn't going to fail AND that I could make it.

Fast forward to today. As I sat and took time to reflect, I'm so thankful that after I realized I had nothing to prove to anyone, life became simpler and easier. Once I realized the only people I had to prove anything to was God my father ( and all I really have to do is Love & serve him) and my children, everything that was supposed to happen started to happen.

Yes, I took a few " L's" but they were just setting me up for the ultimate Wins.

I will celebrate 8 years in Georgia( Lord's willing) this November. 8 is the number of new beginnings. I've declared this year's mantra " I will not lose & Whatever is meant for me will not pass me by". I believe that with every ounce of life in me. Our lives are not a race. It doesn't matter when you arrive to the finish line, it just matters that you don't give up in the process and that you make it.

I wanted to be the 1st in my family to do a lot of things but as I lived and became a mother, other things became important and I realized that it IS important that I become my children's 1st.

I challenge you to stop and take your time. You want to build an empire? You can, there's no rush. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was the world. God took his time forming each and every creature. He took his time forming the sun, moon and stars. He even took time to rest. So when your body speaks, take heed and listen.

As quick as I want to be done and live a quiet married life some where with my amazing husband, I have to first build, date and marry. Can't get to the end result without working the middle.

I challenge you to work the middle, work your right now. Don't give up, slow down, make adjustments, make changes, become your best YOU.

Don't rush to just get done, you'll miss the lessons and strength you'll need in between.

Signed,
Simply Living, Simply Learning, Simply Cheneka

Don't be They...

Every year, I found an excuse as to why I did not celebrate my birthday. I used to look to friends to help me celebrate but it just never really happened. Then I started blaming it on, I wanted to make sure my kids had great birthday celebrations.


When I turned 35, that was my last real celebration. Shame on me. I would buy and receive great gifts but to actually set time aside and celebrate, I was failing. Failing myself, failing to thank God for a new year at this thing called life.  I became that friend who celebrated everyone and disregarded myself.

As I worked on my vision board for 2017, I made personal declarations and promised to celebrate myself THIS year. My sister friend then in turn reminded me, " They will only celebrate you as much as YOU celebrate you". That comment opened my eyes and made me think reallllllll HARD. I had become my own they. They didn't acknowledge me because I didn't. They didn't offer to celebrate with me because I didn't celebrate me.

The "theys" in our life play two roles. They will either push you or they will talk about you. Life is teaching me, they only care because they want to see you fail or they are pushing you to be great.

Which they are you? I've learned, the immediate theys won't celebrate because in so many ways, YOU have become the competition. You have become the " they" that's determined to make it.
You have become the " they" that they fear: Sucess.

There's room for everyone to make it. And the ones who really care, will in turn turn around and help pull you up with them.

Today, I challenge you to not become a victim to they. They only care when it benefits them. They only care because of what you can do for them. Let that mentality stop today.
Celebrate you. Celebrate your highs and lows. Celebrate your successes and failures. We celebrate failures because it's teaching us how to make it into a win.

One of the worst places to be is in between. In between a career/ job change, in between seasons, in between finding your place and giving up. But in that place, still celebrate. Find strength and even encourage yourself. They won't, so what! It's your place to do it.
Celebrate when you are right now because tomorrow, you won't be where you are now.

Signed,
They won't kill me, Simply Cheneka

All things aren't DEAD

There's a patch of grass on the side of our house. I've watched it over the course of a soon to be year this summer. It's gone from a beautiful green that I've mowed, to a burnt state. Over the last few weeks, weather in Georgia has been a bit cold. For this thick boned Northern girl to feel cold, it definitely must be cold. Oops, focus Cheneka ( I digress)... Lol


Each morning while walking my son to the bus stop, I always glance at the grass. It didn't start growing and turning green over night. It was a process.

Woe is life, the never ending growth process.
Some days you will feel you're at the peak of your game and some days you'll feel like you're losing. I've deemed this year as, " I will not lose" and " Whatever is meant for me will NOT pass me by". Just like the grass, daily we grow. Some days our growth is visible and some days, its internal growth.

Some days, our growth isn't for the world to see. Somethings we need to process and go through without the crowd. I've learned this and processed it the hard way. Hard lessons yield the most amazing growth. Take those lessons and allow them to grow you.  The tears you shed they truly water the soul.

I know we face situations and sometimes we feel that all hope is gone. Or even, were holding onto dead people and dead situations. I've learned to let it be and fall where it may. Sometimes, we have to walk away and let it die. If it's meant, there'll always be an opportunity for it to grow again. We cannot rush the process, it must happen on its own.

I challenge you to Grow. Grow in all areas of your life. When you least expect it, a situation that you felt was dead will re-surface. Because you stepped away from it, you allowed yourself the space to heal and grow. Because you took the time to work on you, you can now either work on the situation or experience closure.

Either way, allow yourself the space to grow. We're never to old and we never stop growing. It's an never ending process.. To grow!!!

Signed,
Sincerely Enjoying the growth process!!

Simply Put, Simply Cheneka

Sometimes!!

I have attempted to blog everyday since Friday.  I know, just plain SAD,,,
In my heart I had so much to say, each title had life but my mind and body reminded me that, " Gitl, you gotta work so you must rest". I'm sure each of you can attest to just having a lot to do. That has been my life these last few weeks. My Assistant on me like " Cheneka, check your email", my Accountability sister reminding me to take it easy but get stuff done, my business/ Women's org partner reminding me we have work to do, my children and my undying commitment to them and above all: my Father reminding me, " what's meant for you will not pass you by, WORK Cheneka"!!

I made up in my mind that I'm not losing this year but in the process I must pace myself, not take on more than I can handle because easy does it.

Whew! We need those reminders from time to time. As women, we sometimes think we must carry the world on our shoulders. We don't have too.

This weekend was a reminder for me that, it's okay to utilize the people I consider my village AND allow the other parentals to do they're part.

Just because I've carried many loads on my own, that's not the way God would have it be. And I, Cheneka need to understand this load isn't mine to bare alone. And I release, I release various fears I've carried, worries and my new mindset is let everything else go. My mantra and mirrors in my house remind me daily, " I will not lose and what's meant for me will not pass me by".

In a few weeks, I'll turn 30 for the 8th time. 30 again, lol
I kid, I'm happily embracing 38! There are people who did not and some who will not make it. If it's

God's will ( and wholeheartedly I believe it is) I will wake up wiser, stronger, more determined and cuter on 2/16. 2017 came in so nice, calm and well thought out for me.

No losing and no settling this year. I'm here for the risks, I'm here for the adventures, I'm here for the challenges and more I importantly I'm here. I'm here to be me, unapologetically and freely me...

Simply Put,
Simply Cheneka