Out of the mouths of Boys.... beware!!

I have a 4.5 y/o son. It's never EVER a dull moment with him around. Lol

Our before bed routine is always the same: dinner, a bath a little family time then bed. I was not mentally prepared for what took place during bath earlier this week. 

I've blogged about properly addressing body parts a while back. It's welcomed for him to address his penis as his penis.. Here goes.. 

I'm washing my son's body and he says to me, " Mommy, these look like marshmallows in my penis". I was taken aback just a tad bit, so I encouraged him to further explain. I asked, "Son what looks like marshmallows"?  He responded, " these" (his testicles). "Oh". That's all I could muster as a response. 

I had to walk out of the bathroom for a minute to gather my thoughts. Ok, marshmallows was a great way to describe his testicles but how do I start the conversation about testicles? Will it lead to him asking where babies come from? Gosh, this can't be it!! But in actuality it is. 

Sometimes I want to breakdown because I beat myself up about raising him alone but as I find strength and allow the wonderful guys who make up our village to spend time with him, I'm reassured that we're ok( his Godfathers do not take the place of his father BUT their presence and involvement is definitely welcomed and he so loves them. Especially the "Godfather" who gives him all the cool stuff and let's him rule the world along side him). 

My Lovies, parenthood has its ups and downs. Some days are good and some are bad. The key is, never let it get you down. Do what you can and allow your children to grow with you, experience good and bad with you as well. I'm extremely blessed to have all of these amazing people in our lives. Where I lack, they step in and pull the extra weight. 

My son asked for marshmallows lastnight, I chuckled.. Oh son!! The things boys say... 

Signed, 

NekaT's Son Speaks... 

It's a Celebrate...

Guess who has a birthday coming up?! Yup, I do!! I'll turn 30 for the 7th time on February 16th. 

I tend to make a big deal out of my birthday. It's the one day designed just for ME! I try to do something amazing each year but with moving and purchasing a new vehicle it may not go down the way I envisioned(but I'm not worried, I'll still celebrate MY way). 

If you know me, you'd know I have an obsession with handbags and socks. This year, I've decided to purchase/ collect 37 pairs of socks and randomly give them out to the less fortunate in the downtown Atl area. 

My Peace/ reward is always found in doing something for others. I whole heartedly agree, the good measure we give unto others always come back to us full circle. 

To some, a pair of socks is nothing but to me: gosh I love them. They keep me warm, they make me happy and they are inexpensive. I will have more info on my Birthday Socks Campaign( may even have a catchy name in a few weeks). If you feel inclined to help me reach my goal, leave a comment below... I'm excited to share my love for socks with others!! 

My Lovies, one kind gesture can make the difference in the life of someone who feels forgotten. A smile, kind word and even a small conversation means more than we'll ever know to a person who has no 1.  This year, I will spend part of my 37th bday giving a piece of me and I'm excited! I plan to do it Big and sprinkle "pretty socks" throughout Atlanta. It's my charge plus, as good as I look the world should feel the same!! GOOD!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

A King can ALWAYS use a Queen...

Even on a man's worst day, knowing he has a Queen is comforting~ CTH®

The thing about relationships, every man wants to be acknowledged as a King. He wants a castle where he's the one and only MAN roaming.. 

The downfall to this image, there are not a lot of women walking as Queen's to compliment his vision. Some are so busy trying to be dimes they forget, a real Queen is worth more than a mere 10 pennies, 1 dime or 2 nickels. 

You cannot put value on beauty, strength and resilience. You cannot place value on Motherhood, Sisterhood, Marriage and being his Peace in a chaotic world. 

And men, you're worth more than trying to have more than one woman at a time. You ARE the full package but for 1 woman. Be her Peace, be her Truth, be her Support. Love Her the way she loves you. You cannot place value on your Strength, Brotherhood, Marriage and the fulfillment that comes with being her one and only King. 

Everyone has their spill on relationships but the best advice is the advice you don't give and you use it to work on YOURself. 

Today my Lovies, let's provide the one we truly care about with the utmost respect and care. Let's stop the games in 2016. You either down with them or you're not. Kings and Queens do not play games because they value themselves and their court( home)... 

Signed, 

Neka T. Speaks 

My Person...

Grey's Anatomy, is one of my Most favorite shows. Ever. The show is full of nuggets but my biggest take away has always been, "You're My Person".. 

When I think of the phrase, I try to pinpoint "my Person" being just one person. But as I've grown, I'm okay with having more than 1. My life is full of highs and lows and as I ride the waves, I'm noticing that different persons are strategically placed as " My Person". 

This week has been a bit much for me but I'm adjusting. Like clockwork "My Person" has made it their business to make sure I'm ok and my little people are ok. My person knows when I'm sad, hungry, covering up my feelings and they let me cry( I think over the last 2 weeks, a number of people have been on the receiving end of letting me vent and cry, I Thank You). 

"My Person" has gone out of their way to listen, text, call, laugh and help me sort through all of my uncertainties. My person has even yelled at me and told me that we're going to get through everything thrown this way because I'm not alone. 

Earlier this week, I was in need of a tight hug/ squeeze. I still haven't received it but I know it's on it way( I can feel it).. My person knows me and they are not going to let me down. 

It's hard to put so much Faith & Trust into just 1 person but as I maneuver through life, I'm appreciating everyone just a tad bit more.  Without naming just 1 person, I'm thanking "My Person". 

My Lovies, when you can honestly identify someone as "Your Person", keep them close. Respect them, be honest and appreciate them. Many people want the title but not to many are putting forth their best effort. As my work day finally winds down, I'm thankful to "My Person" for just being genuine and an ear.. 

Signed, 

Simply Grateful Cheneka 

And I still Love lemonade...

I have an amazing lemonade recipe that I whipped up one day in my kitchen. I don't drink lemonade that often but when I do, I like to make my own.. 

Lastnight, life served me a very sour glass of lemonade. While celebrating a close sister friend's 37th bday( btw, I'll turn 37 really soon), I attempted to return to my vehicle and it had been stolen! Right out of the parking lot. To make it worse, 3 other vehicles were broken into in that same lot( one right next to me) but they took mine. Out of all vehicles why mine? I mean I ONLY drove a Ford.. Lol 

I'm hurt, I feel violated and I'm so in my feelings right now. It took over 2 hours for the police to come and began the process of filing a report to recover my vehicle, which by the way if my truck IS found I do NOT want it back. 

As bad as I feel right now, my mind goes back to my 1st picture I posted for 2016. I said, I will live where I want to live, I will drive what I want to drive AND I will be married. Who knew by the 8th day of this month I'd be in this position. 

Last night as my sissy waited with me, I said you know I'm going to blog about this and you know I'm going to drag this county and their police department through the mud. But once I got home, cried and got my life together, I knew it would be absolutely wrong to act in that manner. It's not my character. 

My Lovies, as I figure out my next move( auto insurance contacted✔️, bank I'm financed with contacted ✔️), I'm reminded that the things we put into the atmosphere have a weird way of working on our behalf. Yes, I'm a little sad but I'm

100% confident that this is an absolute set up for something amazingly GREAT~ 

I'm beyond blessed to have an amazing group of sisterFriends who have already come to my rescue. They've let me cry and vent and they are walking me through it. Today, I challenge you to be open to allowing others to help you.. It doesn't make you less than during your time of need. It makes you receptive to others being a blessing to you.. Let me get out of this spot and go make a fresh pitcher of my amazing lemon/ lime mint lemonade. I can taste it now and it's going to be oh so great.. Yup, I still LOVE lemonade!! 

Signed, 

Neka T. Speaks

My MoodaPie..

When your little girl is no longer a little girl.. Sighhh 

My daughter traveled over the holiday break to our hometown to spend time with her father and his family. I'm always ok with her going, I'm just never prepared for the length of time. ( Long distance Co-Parenting blogs soon coming)- she returned Sunday and it felt like it had been an eternity. Yes, I talked to her daily, face timed daily but it wasn't the same as having her right within my touch. 

I try not to tell her this but she's my little best friend some days. I look to her to find the strength to keep being great because ( although my son is watching) she's actively watching and taking notes. 

I'm always amazed at how mature she's becoming but the conversations we've had since her return have seriously blown my mind. I'm always plucking her brain. ----> I digress: Yesterday, I had a friend to ask why was I interrogating him and it made me later think. Was I? But it's really just my human nature. To properly communicate, we must ask questions and because I'm A parent, I sometimes find myself using those techniques more than I should. 

Anyhoo, the more I talk to my daughter, I realize that she's like me but better. She has the potential to be better because I refuse to settle for anything less from her. I was worried with raising her without her father being in close proximity but I'm realizing we're doing fine. We have a village and although it's made of mostly women, I have awesome men as well who look out and who are genuinely concerned for both Li and Matthew( it does not replace her father but it eases my mind). 

I'm preparing to go back to school and as we talked about how our lives will change just a little, she reminded me, "Mommy I have your back and I'm so extremely proud of you". She also said, " I'm going to stay on you about getting your homework done and I'll keep Matthew quiet while you study". My heart was full. 

I also understand that sometimes, she's an ear hustler! Lol but it's ok because it keeps me on my toes with monitoring my conversations when she is in my presence. I try my best to live my life the same in front of her and behind closed doors, it's the only way. She said to me yesterday, "Mommy you are my best friend. I get it, you're my mom and you don't want to be my friend but sometimes I have so much fun with you". Just talking about her and watching her mature brings tears because there's been times where I wanted to give up but her love for me kept me going. 

Our 1st year in Georgia was hard. We moved twice within our 1st year. I never really talk about it but I questioned my move my 1st year. It was just the 2 of us literally. I didn't work the 1st 6months by choice. Once I started working and meeting ppl the load became lighter and I now know, it strengthened us and grew me up. 

Oh my babygirl Li, who will turn 12 in about 2months, I thank God for your life. I'm thankful that I get to look at you and watch you grow. Sometimes, I cannot believe how much you've grown since we moved to Georgia. My little girl who's now taller than me. I Love you my little Mooda Pie and although I'll never openly admit it, you're my best friend too. 

Signed, 

Simply Your Mom ❣❣❣

For The Win...

This morning, I wasted no time waking up. Got up, prayed and prepared myself for the day. I HAPPILY flicked on every single light in the house and woke my children up. "Rise and Shine my little pretties"... Lol

My son got up first and walked into my bedroom. This kid says, " Only my sister going to school right"? Ummm no sir, you're BOTH going. Come on and let's brush your teeth( my stomach cannot handle HIS morning breathe, yuck).. 

While they both handled their business, I finished preparing their breakfast, found sneakers, put hats, scarves and jackets on the hook by the front door. Everyone out!! 

My daughter finished preparing her lunch, I served warm grits, fruit and milk and by 7:50 everyone was out the door! Like magic!! 

Listen, I've been on both sides of the fence. I've taught and I'm a parent. I understand the importance of everyone needing a break, I just wasn't prepared for 2.5weeks with an inquisitive 4.5 year old( if you know him you know that 1/2 means everything to his little life). Just this morning he said, "Mommy I can reach your cabinet, does that mean I'm 5"? No son, you're still 4, ( him) "No, I'm 4.5". Whatever works kid, whatever works. 

Today my Lovies, sit and enjoy a small piece of heaven. Peace & Quiet!! Who knew how crucial it is to just sit in silence. I've been moving so much that I've missed my moments of peace. Make time to enjoy time today.. It's for the Win and your Sanity... Lol

Signed, 

Neka T. Speaks 

Flawed BUT Perfect...

It's so easy to look at other people's lives and wish you had what they have. 

New Year's Eve, my bestie and I had a 3 hour phone convo( yes we talk that long in real life, most days),about our lives. Our mishaps, bad relationships, good relationships, broken hearts, parenthood and divorce. Yes, we all suffer from one or all the things listed above. 

It's so easy to be an outsider looking in to what is deemed as perfection. To add a cherry to my plain vanilla icecream sundae( don't judge me), my Spiritual Father, preached the exact same message during NYE service( I mean verbatim). I texted her during service telling her. It was as if he was on three way with us. 

Just because it looks good from the outside, doesn't mean it's heaven on the inside. We get so caught up in reading more into what's there that we think our lives are horrible. 

I'm learning it's best to be single than in a relationship where he has another woman he's promising to build with.  It's best to lay in bed alone, than to lay next to someone who has kissed everyone but you. 

I tend to shy away from blogging about love/relationships because I've been dealt a hand that I didn't ask for. Don't get me wrong, they all didn't start that way BUT somewhere down the line we just didn't mesh anymore. 

But I'm Very optimistic these days. Cupid's arrow is messing with me and at some point I'm going to have to fully give in. 

My question is???  Do perfect relationships exit? To an outsider YES but to the 2 people giving their all, their Mess is their love. I'm down for a guy who has faults, I'm down for a guy who may forget to put the toilet seat down, I'm down for a guy who works hard and needs a minute or 2 after work to wind down in his man cave. I'm down for the guy who's not rich but loves me Richly. It's not the monetary, it's his actions that will speak more clearly than anything else. And don't misunderstand what I'm saying ladies, it's not just the guy who has to do his part. We must pull our weight too. No nagging, no selfish acts. Prepare him a hot bath too, rub him down with massage oils, they like honesty too. Teach him to communicate with you( they tend to shy away from

Doing all the talking). They're not the best at communicating but this is where you will both grow together and In Love... Love each other like it's only the two of you in this world. Outsiders don't matter 

Today my Lovies, the challenge is: to be honest with you. Love your flawed self. Not a soul walking this earth is perfect. I mean, we want to be but the truth is we're really not. Love all of your imperfections. And for the flaws you can fix, don't make excuses fix them. 

We're all entitled to be with, Marry and Love the exact same person over and over again but better each day. If you're in a situation that's not yielding the Love you need, quit being a fool gather your ish and move along UNLESS you like the chaos. And let's be real, a chaotic life is not the business. 

I'm no love expert but I know what it is to Love someone truly in your soul. For Love is an action. It's never ever Love that hurts us but people. Love yourself and Love the people who love you. 

Cupid has a funny way of pricking us. Don't get caught up having a Will and Jada love because even they have bags full of trash too. Have a love that's  uniquely designed for you, Flawed but Perfect!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

My Pushers...

Anyone who truly knows me know that Chelia and Matthew mean the world to me. Parenthood has its ups and downs but for the most part each day I rise to the occasion. I question how my life has turned out at times but in the scheme of things, the 3 of us were destined to be a family( and I'm confident in knowing our little family will soon be complete). 

Some big things are about to take place in our lives. With the 1st being my return to school. As I rearranged my wall art tonight, I added pictures from our family photoshoot this summer. My children are my motivation to keep striving for excellence. I have to set the standard for each of them to model. Each morning I wake( after I pray) I will look at their faces. At night while I study and prepare for the next phase of lives I will look at them. 

For my daughter: We may fall babygirl but we get back up. We never ever quit. Sometimes, we have to travel alone and that's ok. The goal is to work hard at everything you set your mind to accomplish. Sometimes you have to stop talking about it and be about it. Work hard, play later. 

For my son: Always strive for greatness. Defeat is not apart of our vocabulary. We will always keep trying until we succeed. Just because life throws a few curve balls our way, we will still proceed with the plan. Always strive for excellence. Work hard, play later. 

My Lovies, 2016 will only be as great as we make it. Set goals and keep them. Make sacrifices, make changes, become better, do better, be honest, be kind, be loving, be In Love, be smarter than your dumbest choice.... Challenge yourself to complete everything you've set out to do.  I'm nervous but for once I'm confident. Confident in myself and where I am right now. I'm ready to soar.. And as long as my little people and a few very special people are in my corner; I got this.. 

Signed, 

Neka T. Speaks 

Lessons in Honesty...

Vacation is FINALLY coming to an end!! Bless God who sits high!! I must admit, this one on one time I've had with my son has been quite entertaining. He's an inquisitive old soul in a young body and he's a lot like me, with paying attention to people's words. 

My children and I are very close and I talk to them with complete honesty. I want them to always trust me and know I have their best interest at heart. My daughter has shared with me on numerous occasions that she wants to see me happily married. We indulge the conversation and we move on. Who knew all along that little Matthew Ashton IS attentively listening.. 

New Year's Eve, we were in 1 of our favorite stores Old Navy. As we stood in line, Matthew was holding this really cute bracelet. He kept saying, " Mommy this is  your wedding gift". I responded with, "Awe, thank you son" and continued to move along in line. The gentleman in front of us turned around and congratulated me and I said, "if I knew who my fiancé was I'd tell him you congratulated us". We both laughed. The line was a bit longer than usual so I gave son my phone to watch videos. 

We finally made it to the register, I paid and we left. As we drove home, my son says, "Look mommy here's your wedding gifts". I turned back to look and not only did he have the bracelet but he proceeded to pull earrings and a ring out of his jacket pocket. I was absolutely shocked. I mean, I know the woman wears something borrowed for the wedding but never anything stolen. I immediately took the items from him

And told him that stealing is never ever ok. His facial went from happy to sad and confused. A moment that was intended to be sweet in his mind turned into a life lesson. We. Do. Not. Steal. Ever. Period. 

I explained to him that when its time for mommy to get married that he along with his sister and my future husband can go into the store and purchase mommy a gift together but we're never to steal anything. When we steal it makes mommy sad and police become involved. 

I assured him that he's still my favorite little guy and we prepared ourselves for NYE church service. 

After we finished errands today, I told him, "Son were going into old navy and you're going to return these items. He said, "Mommy that will mean they know I stole them", true enough but we're honest people and we do not steal I reminded him. 

We walked into Old Navy hand in hand and I asked for the manager. I was directed to her location and I explained that we were here to return items that my son stole. She was shocked and almost in tears as Matthew handed her the items and apologized. She looked at me and said you're an Awesome Momm and God Bless You. We quietly left the store but I could hear her telling the people in the store and a few said wow, that was noble. 

My Lovies, let this year be the year where were held accountable for ALL

Of our actions. Let's be people of intergrity and honesty at all cost. 

Today's lesson in honesty will serve as a life lesson for my son! 

Signed, 

Neka T. Speaks