This past weekend, my family and I were in Florida to lay my mother's older sister to rest, Auntie Linda. She battled cancer for 3 years and when she felt like she'd had enough, she took her last breath and transitioned from this world. My heart smiled because on the day she transitioned, my brother and I were able to speak to her and tell her that we loved her.
Friday am, we loaded up the truck and made our way to Pensacola, Fla. It was an easy drive and we made it there in about 5 hours. Upon our arrival, the feeling was quite somber. We arrived at my cousin's house( My aunt's daughter) to meet to head to the funeral home for a family viewing. I'm not big on all of this but I had to be there for my cousin and mom( and other aunts, cousins and uncles). The memorial chapel who my family entrusted my Aunt's remains to was Amazing and there was my 1st encounter with RESPECT...
As I viewed my aunt, my heart smiled until I couldn't find a tear to shed. She looked BEAUTIFUL. Just like she was resting. Her hair was laid( like always) and she had on a nice off-white suit. As I walked out of the chapel, I stopped in the office and said " Thank-You to Mrs. Tracey for her hospitality. My head almost fell.... Me: Mrs. Tracey, my aunt looks so beautiful. Thank you for a job well done. Her: Yes ma'am, it was my pleasure.... WHAT Pump your Breaks... Yes ma'am, to me?? I looked because Tracey and I looked the same age( it was further discussed that she is younger than me, well heck I'm only 30 for the 4th time)...
The whole "Yes Ma'am" thingy makes me cringe. Not because I don't like it but I'm a northerner and those same sentiments aren't shared there. I mean, I said "Yes Ma'am to older, way older adults but not ppl within the same age bracket and me.
When we 1st arrived in Atl, we spent Thanksgiving with my daughter's extended family( her dad's side) and her grandmother continuosly corrected Li( then 4) for not saying "Yes Ma'am". I became a bit agitated and out of frustration, told her" Li isn't accustomed to saying that". Fast forward back to last weekend. It's now Saturday and we are gathered for family prayer before the service. My cousin's son DeVincent was standing near me. I said, "I'm your cousin Cheneka( yes, used government) and you are the most handsome little man ever". He flashed this 50grand smile with dimples and said, "Thank-you Ma'am".... Whoa! I grabbed my heart. Baby, I'm your cousin, you don't have to say Ma'am to me... He flashed that smile and responded "Yes ma'am" AGAIN!!!!
... Tishhhhhh( his mom) please tell your son to stop saying "Yes Ma'am", oh no Nek, she said" It's a form of respect, he WILL say it"... My aunt Anne chimed in, "He'll say what she asked", " Yes Ma'am", Tish responded. "Oh yeah baby" said Auntie Anne, we're big on respect down here. We don't play that. You say it to us willingly or be forced by someone else to say it..
Yes ma'am, Yes Sir, no Ma'am, no Sir.... I mean, I did live in the South for a good portion of my life. I was introduced to that form of respect but by 7 years old, we had relocated back to Boston and I mimicked what was in my environment. To respond with a simple Yes or no, but NEVER what or huh... Simple enough huh? I guess not.
So, along with seeing family and friends I haven't seen in what seemed forever, I was reintroduced to RESPECT( smile). Although I don't think I'll enforce those responses with my children, if they say it I'll just smile and accept it...
Signed,
I'll Embrace Yes and No Ma'am~~
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