I Needed my DAD( Dedicated Adorning Dad)

I want to be loved...
Long walks in the park,
Soft kisses on my cheeks,
The diamond ring in the velvet box,
A Family.

I want to wake up knowing I'm loved,
No worries of a dysfunctional relationship,
No emotional or mental abuse, No cheating either.

I've come to the realization that the knowledge to obtain this, my mother couldn't provide.
For mothers are nurturing,caring, loving and dotting.

I needed my DAD
Not a fly by nite random John,
But my DAD.
The one who hleped to concieve me.
My dad,
The one I resemble, the one who's traits I carry.

I needed the guidance,
I needed the truth..

I needed him to stand up for me-
To teach me right from wrong.
To help me understand that there are good men and some are bad.

I needed my dad,
Especially when guys started showing interest in me.
His words would've helped me..

His words would've consoled me when I encountered boys who were NOT quite yet men..
They would've helped me to avoid pitfalls that left me bruised.

Years have passed and they have not been fully wasted.
I still matured and grew
BUT my Dad's words would've been appreciated.

I'm NOT speaking from a place of hurt nor a place of hate,I'm speaking from a place of Understanding and Release...
Acknowledging that somethings happen beyond our control.

In this cylce we call life,
God allows the unexpected to happen to prepare us for better.
Better days are ahead,
But I have to want them
Better days are right over the horizon,
and I happily awaiting the Arising.

Life hasn't been easy without my dad,
But I survived.
I made more mistakes than a few, But I came thru.
Love isn't always easy to come by, isn't always real,
But dad you wouldn't believe,
its finally on my side,
This one is the deal...

God answered my prayers,
But its been hard,
I have issues with acceptance and holdnig everyone accountable for how things turned out with you.

I tend to push him away, but he stays right there and that dad is a true sign that he truly cares.

Nobody forewarned me how messed up I would be without a relationship with you,
and because of that the same issues have surfaced with my daughter.

However, steps are being made to change the atmosphereand provide a stable 2 parent home.


My life has transitioned,
From hurt to healing.
Tears have been shed, nights have been sleepless,
Days have been long
But God helped me thru.

Didn't understand why the familiar became so isolated and I had to leave,

But in order to want or get better the change has to manifest within...

Although I needed adad who exemplified strength and commitment to my upbringing,
Today, I live with knowing all I have witnesses
God did it just for ME!!

The piercings in his side were put there to eleviate what I would endure, to bring me to this day, this time where I'm learning to live surrendered and free!

Free to jump, run, sing and be ME~

So, to my dad who I wanted to be my friend,
I LOVE you
Thanks for helping to create me,
Thanks for the Love you gave from a distance..

What i lacked,
god provided
his love and Guidance stayed Strong,
and because of it
I can understand and see the greater that waiting just for ME!!!