The Boy Chronicles....sigh

"Ma, you do know that one day you're going to have to give my sister a sibling", said my "Daughter" Tiffany( yes, I'm using your government today)... Tiff was one of my 1st peer leaders along with many others who adopted me as their Ma! I just looked at her and said yeah okay... Who would've guessed that years later( my Mooda Pie is now 8) Tiff's words would ring true.

 I now have a little boy who is 1 but its like he's been here before. This little kid is the true definition of a little rugged BOY!!! This kid has done so much in his short life span of 1 whole year.. SMH

He's already conquered rolling in the powder, digging in hair grease, stitches at 9months and being put on baby laughing gas, climbing out of his bed and to top the list cutting his hair!!! YES, he cut his hair. Which by the way could've been ugly because he used his dad's facial hair razor. Ask me no questions, I tell you NO lies~~~ This is a true story!!! LOL

I remember watching my mom go thru hell and back with my three brothers. My brothers were rugged too. I guess my son is following in their footsteps( but I pray a covering over him that he does NOT go thru some of the extra stuff they encountered).

I always ask his dad," what kind of kid were you", and although he's a very smart, well spoken, intelligent MAN, my mind still wonders about his boyhood!! LOL You know how you look at some guys and you'r like, yeah he's far from innocent, YUP his dad fits the mold so I know it has rubbed off on our son. When I tell him about the silly antics he's gotten into throughout the day, he gets a kick out of it. And no matter how many times I say,"Stop it son", "Son don't do that", remove him from an activity, it does not phase him. He has now mastered nodding his head YES. And to be only 1, this lil dude nods in time. "Son, I'm going to need for you to stop and sit down and listen", in return he nods YES... Are you serious little guy?? I can't take it.

Boys and little girls are definitely cut from a different stock/bred. My Moo was so nice and calm and she still is... But this lil joker, I think I need a manual! He's such the dotting son when dad is around but when it's the two of us, I swear I need a drink..

I LOVE my children and I honestly believe God never gives us anymore than what we can bare.. BUT Lord, if you're listening, Help this sister OUT..

Signed,
 My Son will be the reason I drink

Celebrate Abundance...

 As the year comes to an end, I find time to reflect on the people I have met, places I've gone, messaged and experiences learned.

 A few weeks back, I was in the hair salon late which is cool because it gives me a chance to mingle with the clients that I miss during my weekly visit/pop-ins. We have a new shampoo guy that is awesome!! I promise you, men know how to wash a woman's head ~~WHEW.... Anyhoo, focused!!! lol

Once we get towards the end of the night, we start sharing inner most fears and secrets. Celso( his name) began to share and this is what he shared( in his Virgin Island accent)" You know, I was out of work for years. You could come to me, tell me you're looking for a job, I help you to re-write your resume and you'd get the job. Still while I had nothing".. I helped friends get all types of jobs and never did I once get mad about me not finding a job. I questioned God but was never mad. Then it hit me one day, I was looking better now than I did when I was working. My bills never went unpaid, I stayed looking nice, I always had a roof over my head and food to eat. " I was blessed"!!

For some reason, that stuck with me.

Yesterday, I was sitting in my bathroom aka: Study, Office, Quiet Space, Hideout and I happen to look above my towel rack. And there was this decorative wall piece I purchased when I first moved to Atl 3 years ago. It simply states" Celebrate Abundance".. I pondered on it ALL day.. Even in my moments where I feel like the world is against me, I have Abundance.  I have people who pray for ME instead of against ME: Abundance
My children are blessed, they never go without : Abundance
My business has been blessed 10times over: Abundance

May not have the money I want or the life I'm building towards YET but I have the life I have now and I Celebrate it because I'm Blessed!!

I challenge my readers on today, to find reasons that call for you to Celebrate Abundance!!

Signed,
I'm On MY way; Abundantly Blessed

Just 1 of those DAYS...

When I sit down to blog, I always try and say something uplifting and encouraging.  I mean, that's just the type of person I am. I live to be the difference and to make a difference. I have 2 little people who look up to me and a MR who feels I'm GREAT.. But yesterday, was just one of those days. I questioned who and what I am, followed by tons of what am I doing wrong?

I take care of my family, I put the needs of others before me. I run a SUCCESSFUL business geared towards single moms and families on the go. I'm co-founder to a great Women's Organization, that's growing and making a difference. I mean, like really what else could it be?

I attend church, pay my tithes, help where I'm needed. I give without complaining and sometimes I'll go without so that someone else can have. I support my siblings, support my family and in my own way, I love unconditionally. But sometimes, it just feels that my yacht is going no where fast.

 Those thoughts seem to consume even the ones of us who feel we are very strong and confident. But, as I sit here, at 10:15pm, listening to FIYA & James Fortune(featuring Fred Hammond & Monica) I'm reminded to never let go and LET GOD... But the question is, Have I let go? I know that I have in some areas but events can happen that would lead us to believe and feel differently.

Have you ever just sat back, quietly and observed??? Yeah, I do it ALL the time!!! I'm not watching with a spiteful eye, I'm watching because sometimes we need motivation and when I see others doing well, it challenges me to be better and focus. Although people always tell me I inspire them, sometimes I need that same inspiration....

This isn't a sympathy post, so don't misunderstand what I'm typing, its just one of those moments where I needed to get something off my chest. Can't always be super woman sometimes; I just need to focus and be the woman I know I'm capable of being or as I've once heard before, " The Woman I am but don't give myself credit for"...

Signed,
It's me &I just needed to vent
#StillThankful

Give Until someone SMILES.....

 This past Thanksgiving was 1 for the books. My business KISS and my Women's Organization, Women who Network, along with some happy bubbly little people, hand delivered Thanksgiving Turkey cards to Senior citizen Facilities. What's known as a day of spreading cheer, soon turned into the brightest day ever, And, it wasn't just bright for us but boy did we make some seniors smile.

Our 1st stop was Huntcliff Senior Assisted Living. We handed out cards to a few seniors because most of them were already in their rooms. We shared some smiles there and headed on to our next stop.

The Seniors at the Dogwood Retirement Center were AWESOME. A staff person escorted us throughout the center to each floor and we hand delivered turkey cards to all of the residents. The cheer we shared and the way they received us was Ahhhhhmazing. The spirits and energy of these "forever young" seniors touched us in more ways than you'll ever understand.

We met Ms. Gladys, 97years old, oldest resident. Then there was Sherman, who saw us in the hallway, we gave him a card and then he started to give his own hugs and kisses. We deemed him, "Fresh Mr.Sherman". Then there was the resident who didnt' smile for anyone. We were challenged to make her smile and if we could Abduli( our escort) would pay us!! Let's just say, " Where's the money".. LOL

Then we met Mr & Mrs. Methi from India. Mr. Mehti is blind but one of the smartest and most intellectual men you'll ever meet. His wife spotted us in the hallway and we gave her a card. Once she realized we were delivering them personally, she gave her card back and insisted we deliver one to them personally.

We met residents from New Jersey, Massachusetts, Germany and ones with connections in California just to name a few.

But the highlight of the day, was Ms. Betty a DIVA in her own right. She was just the cutest woman you'd ever meet. She casually talked with us, asked questions and talked to the little people. How often do you find seniors, well in their old age with spunk like her? So why not take a picture for future memories? To our surprise, she agreed to the photo but before we could snap it, "Wait, let me put on some lip stick" she said!! I loved it...

Most of the seniors didn't go out put they did say, "We made their day" and knowing that was all the more reason to be #Thankful..
It's always good to give to someone who least expects it. In return you receive a feeling that nobody can take away from you. Our Christmas cheer event is already in effect because we were asked to PLEASE come back. And we certainly WILL...

Signed,
 I'm SO FULL

 

Actions mean more than Words...

" to be or not to be, that is the Question"...

 When I think of this phrase, I think of the many meanings it can have. It fits into my daily life, EVERYDAY. Is it just me, or do we all look for ways to improve and be better?

This was a weekend for the books. My business, Kid Inspired Sitter Services, prepared for our give back day by making over 70+ Thanksgiving cards to distribute throughout the Sandy Springs area. We adopted this concept during our 1st few months of business. It was our way of giving back to the Senior Citizens of the area who are sometimes forgotten about( or maybe not). The faces of the senior were priceless so we decided to make this a yearly event. This year, we made it a day for ALL of our KISS families and supporters. We had an awesome turnout out and my sister founder to our women's org, "Women who Network" participated in the day too. The day was filled with cranberry juice, graham crackers, hot chocolate, brownies, laughter, markers, glitter glue, eyeballs, crayons and color pencils.

Over 15 children and their moms joined in the event. It was an awesome event. As I sat and colored, my heart was overjoyed because, not only were the parents actively involved in the project but the children who delivered in years passed talked about the experience. We were putting our words into action.

 As we finished up this activity, Matt Parker of Inspired Snapshots Photography and representation from Women who Network, packed up and headed to our 2nd give back activity in Alabama. In conjunction with a local church, we distributed sandwiches, hot soup, coffee, fruit, water and blankets to homeless men, women and children. We made 4 stops along a specific route in the area.

I'm awful at wearing my heart and feelings on my sleeves, so during the last 2 stops I stood back and just watched, with tearful eyes and a thankful heart. It's one thing to say something but when you put it into action it becomes words followed by actions.
I thought to myself, I complain about my place being small but here these people are roaming daily and where they stop is where they lay. I complain about having a taste for something good while these people were just appreciative  to receive chicken and rice soup from Olive Garden and sandwiches from Jersey Mike's, Subway and other local eateries that donated.

It cost nothing but a few dollars to give but yet people will turn up their noses and waste $5.00 somewhere else before choosing to give back to someone truly in need.

My non-profit organization, Women who Network provide Actions and not just words and that's what this weekend was about SERVICE. Service is more than what we do for the people closest to us. It's when we can step out of our comfort zone and give to someone else. We currently have been advertising and soliciting for our Blanket Drive. We've reached out to numerous individuals but it seems to have fallen upon deaf ears. But, it will not stop our progress or mission. If you'd like more information on our efforts, please email us at womennetworkmovement@gmail.com.

To the various churches dReam Center Church of Atlanta, (gave back at the Gateway this past weekend) Victory World Church( Huntsville, Ala gave back this weekend) organizations, Women who Network (with service hours) and businesses KISS( service hours to make cards for the seniors) I take pride in being affiliated with you and commend you on allowing your actions to be more than just mere words!!

Happy Holidays~

Oh The Joys.....

It's the holiday season!! I love this time of year and what makes it so beautiful, I have children( 2 bonus girls although in another state) to share in the joys with. The food, movies, laughter, excitement, surprised faces, erases ALL of the ups and downs of the year and replaces it with moments of Love with family.

 Although it's a learning experience, children make the world go round. Without them there would literally be no tomorrow with nothing to look forward too. Everyday is full of excitement in my home and without it, I don't think it would be worth it. 

The biggest part of any child's childhood memories are the times spent with family and although some many never physically make it to the happiest place on Earth, being afforded the opportunity to visit at local arenas in their cities and see MICKEY & MINNIE is just plain AWESOME!!!

Feld Entertainment is preparing to do it again( Yes, again), just in time for the holidays they will present DISNEY LIVE: Mickey's Music Fest!!!Concert goers will hear greatest hits from the blockbuster movies, Aladdin, The Little Mermaid, and Disney/Pixar’s Toy Story remixed to rock, pop, reggae, hip-hop, jazz and country, among other jams.  Produced by Feld Entertainment, Disney Live! Mickey’s Music Festival strives to be the biggest concert experience to hit live family entertainment.  

This will be the concerts of ALL Family concerts to commence the ending of 2012 to bring in 2013.

Will you be attending?? I really think you your family will appreciate this most awesome gift. 
I will be there along with my family, ready to sing and Rock it out Disney Style... Oh come on, you know you're looking for a last minute fun activity with your family... Join us there and say hello!!  

See you there!!!

the 3 easiest words can sometimes be the hardest...

"I Love You".. We say it to our parents, to our children, our spouses, siblings, friends etc. Most of the time its derived from a happy place. I mean who really thinks about saying "I Love You" and never seeing that person again...

My family is facing this right now as we speak. My Grandmother"Mamount" had 11 children. My eldest Aunt Bobbie and eldest Uncle Ed jr passed a while ago and that left 9. Now my eldest remaining Aunt Linda is currently fighting for her life. And although we would love for our family members to live forever, its a contract they have with God and when their time is up, they sign on the dotted line, say their goodbyes and "I LOVE You's" and slip away into Eternal Rest.

I have tons of memories I hold in my heart of my Aunt. YES, she was a bit tough and called me fast more times than once( yall know what FAST mean right, LOL) but her LOVE was genuine. I remember when we lived in Florida, she would come over from Pensacola and we'd all hang at my other Aunt's house. It was like, we had aunts and uncles with us in Boston, then we had all the older aunts in Florida. My family is big and when my Mamount died, I saw just how big it was. She was in Opp, Ala when she passed and it seemed as though the entire town was shut down as we celebrated her life and said our final "I Love You's".

Trust me, no family is perfect and love cannot cover wrongs but in your heart its a vivid reminder that there's always hope and that somewhere out there someone shares your bloodline. While we cannot pick our family members( and some days I do wish I could change some members), I know each person that surrounds me, LOVES me in their own way.

Many thought I relocated because I was running behind a guy( a different blog for a later day) but that in itself was a LIE. I relocated so that I could LOVE me better. Once I learned to LOVE me better, I was able to heal, forgive and LOVE my family better. Now, when I say I LOVE YOU it comes from a sincere place in my heart. It comes from a place that has accepted being alone so I could embrace all the new love( yup children too) that would surround me once I found Me.

Yes, its easy to love and it's even harder to let go. To some, the Holiday Season is when you embrace the ones you LOVE... you appreciate them, love on them, hug them, share stories and reflect on memories. It's about remembering the LOVE you have for everyone whether they are close by, you see them everyday, far away or just a memory.

Though my Aunt will still be with us, I'm choosing to let this Thanksgiving be a reflection to ME of the person she IS~ hard working, loveable, loud( in a good way) funny, lover of fashion, always wore a tight short hair cut and jeweled out. I am going to visit her, its just a matter of understanding that, although I LOVE her, her contract will soon require a dotted line and I must be okay with that.

To my two cousins who call her Mom, nobody can or will ever replace her. But know, my mom is on her way along with our other Aunts and let them be your source of strength and allow them to comfort you.. Love you Aunti Linda and it's okay if you must sign the line. You've served God, Your Family, carried out your duties as an Elks Member and Eastern Star. Get some rest, you deserve it!


Signed,
A ReFreshed LOVE~

All DAWGS aren't (Wo)Man's best friend...

 I'm sure we all have people we consider "Best Friends".... That's my dawg, ace in a hole and that person has my back. As I've grown older and matured, different lessons in life have shown me, that ( as the saying goes) " Everyone can't sit in your front row". Each day brings forth space to grow : and yes, even with being in my 30's, daily lessons in life exist.

While on this journey of becoming GREAT, some awesome people have been put in my path. If I sat and named them all, my laptop would stop working because I'd be dropping monsoon tears as I recollect on each of their importance to my life and my family's. Moving from my area of comfort(Boston) to a place where NOBODY knew my name(Georgia) was hard. But, the people made the transition great. and I can never forget, God had (and still does) had my back. I must admit, when your level of comfort has been removed, you learn where your true inner strength comes from.

However, today's lesson has shown me that, just because you have that one" dawg" sitting on your lawn( circle), doesn't mean they always have your best interest at heart. What good is it to have a beautiful lawn full of holes( missing people who have added to your life) because that ole ugly mangy "dawg" has dug everything up? You can't sit in my front row and attempt to be my "dawg" when you're behind my back trying to play Mr/Ms cut throat and knock people out of their positions.

It's clear, we all need to know our positions...Whether it be a personal position, business position or professional position, know it and play it well .  Yes, there'll be some big dawgs( my ride or dies) and some little dawgs( people who handle the light work but still represent). While each carry a different type of importance; if you're my true dawg, you will NOT undermine the decisions I make and go behind my back like a sneaky snake. If you're my dawg be my dawg, don't change up your disguise to mastermind my demise. It would be a sad day in HELL to wake up and the people who have added luster, helped me to shine are all gone and I'm stuck with just you... Still digging away until nobody wants to stay...

Good true dawgs exist whether big or small: but still be mindful because the dawg with the biggest bark can just as well be the smallest dawg filled with the most spite....

Signed,
A Good Dawg, without a Leash~

We attract what we ARE ... Truly

I cannot express it enough the importance of being true to you. Once you find out what works for you, there are no things that will God will keep from you. It's just a matter of 1st being TRUE to YOU.. We go to school, we earn degrees: We work jobs, we receive promotions: We write books, we gain the title "Author"..
And so on and so on...

Well, whatever happened to just being happy with being you? I was born Cheneka T. Hobbs.  And although I've shortened it and go by Neka, its still who I am.. Yes, I'm a business owner but I don't want to be known as just the owner of KISS. I want people to hear my name and automatically associate me with the good I've done. Yes, I'm co-founder of a wonderful Women's Organization( Women Who Network) but I want us to be known as the women who are constantly looking for ways to give back.

 On yesterday, I was able to support a photo shoot launching the line for Ms. Sonya of Lady University. I met Sonya at church during one service( dReam Center Atl produces business owners) and instantly we connected. It's true, when you think with thoughts of moving forward and becoming better, you truly attract people who think as such.

Sonya, is a young woman who like many of us, felt we were going no where fast. She went from job to job, still feeling there was a void in her life. She experienced an AHA moment and got her life. Sonya is a piano instructor here in Atlanta and she's founder of Lady University, where through daily affirmations, she reminds women to be a LADY and good wholesome GENTLEMAN will come to you.
SideNote: Want to see some beautiful natural curls, Sonya's tress is amazing :-)

Yesterday, during the shoot my daughter was Sonya's mentee. It was awesome watching how well everyone interacted. Not only was I present to support but I was also able to mingle with other moms and women on the move. We chatted about various topics, from parenthood too where we attend church, life stories to making lifelong connections.

I'm excited about Sonya's Journey and I'm glad we were able to connect...

The more I position myself to just be me, the more others will and embrace and receive the true ME...

There's only one you.. Others may try and succeed as just a carbon copy BUT only YOU know YOU~~

Signed,
Great is followed by GREATNESS~

Opening Night.... M-I-C-K-E-Y, MO-US-EEEEEEE!!!

This has been the year of Disney for my household! We experienced Disney World in April and lastnite, we participated in Rockin' Ever After( presented by yes, Disney on Ice) through the Mommy Blogger Network. It was such a cool event and the seats were GREAT too.

 It's always so easy to become childlike when Disney is concerned! I found myself rocking, singing and swaying to the beat of a number of Disney Classics... " Be Our Guest" and of course " Mother knows BEST"( only because we do)... As I sat with my mommy friends( even met a new Mommy Blogger Carlene), we realized we were having just as much fun as the kids. There were smiles on EVERYONE'S faces even my one year old son( who had to attend the event by default because daddy is out of town). To see all the little girls in their princess attire, with wands and crowns was the highlight of my evening. Dads walking around with Flounder hats from their cotton candy, grandmothers in line buying snow cones. Disney has a magical way of uniting families and bringing out the best in everyone.

I must admit, Beauty and the Beast will always be a favorite of mine( shhhh don't tell my daughter because she loves Sleeping Beauty). There's something magical about a Beast having a heart of gold and kitchen utensils singing to you as they serve your dinner!!

I was also introduced to a new warrior Princess BRAVE. Guess that's a new DVD to add to our collection!

As the show came to an end, so did the magic. As we left Philips Arena, reality hit. We had to walk through the crowds of people to get to the car, jump on the highway to make it home, get the kids in, bathed and ready for the following school day and find a minute to unwind from the day's activities. Would I do it all again? In a heart beat. There's just a feeling you get from being apart of the most magical place on Earth no matter where you are!!

So, thank-you for the midweek visit to Disney! Thank you Mickey, Minnie, Goofy, Donald, Sebastin, Flounder, Ariel, Rapunzel(Tangled) and Brave. Thank you for the laughs, the songs and memories. Thank-you for allowing my little people and I to Be Your Guest!! We appreciate it!!

Signed,
Mommy Bloggers Bring the Magic~~

He Picked ME~

Sidenote: This piece is just me getting in touch with the writer in me.. Not necessarily how I'm feeling today BUT it is bits and pieces of my life over the years... I hope that you can relate to it in some way and understand that no matter the circumstance(even for my male readers) He picked you 2~

I once read that, when you let out the fear, upsets, highlights and lows of the day, it helps you to sleep better. I don't know accurate that statement is but here goes...

Today wasn't a good day. I felt like crying more than I smiled and sometimes just to hold it all together I had to take moments just to let it all out.

They say LOVE is blind but how do you overlook the LOVE you see daily that treats you as if you don't exist?

Water is free they say, Whelp if you have to charge me 25cent  to pour it into a cup, I'll let that cup pass from me...

You want to get ahead, but the cards seem to keep dealing you "Uno" draw 4's and Skips....

My turn has been skipped again, the call went unanswered and here I am left like a drying leaf waiting too to be blown in the wind AGAIN...

Please pick me, pick me... No!

The grass looks greener on the other side but once I jumped the fence to get a glimpse and maybe take a roll in it, there were patches of brown where it hasn't  been watered.... Gone untended...

My soul, my soul is weary...
I just want to feel like Jesus is listening but my mind keeps saying,
"Girl, he Ain't thinking about you"..
So, i keep searching in hopes that Jesus will see me
But YET I keep hearing my own voice saying
Please pick me~

But what I've failed to realize is that I was picked way before my parents thought of me.
I was picked way before the hurts, misunderstandings, lies and pains..
He picked me~
Little ole me,
The girl that was so misunderstood that even I was afraid to spread my OWN wings and HE gave them to me.
The little girl, who wanted a nose job so bad I fantasized about being called cute.

Pick Me, Pick me..
Love me like there's no tomorrow,
Hold me close to your heart to keep me from falling.
Respect me as I respect you,
Understand me when I'm not even making any sense.
Listen to my dreams,
Understand my journey.
Don't try to change me
BUT
Enhance what I've already been called to do.
Understand there can be no REAL us, until You become true to YOU...

He chose Me for this journey..
I opened my wings, that HE gave me and I began to fly.

So on today,
Although I cried just a little,
my frown was replaced with a smile.
although, I'm questioning where I am in life today,
I know new horizons and opportunities will await me upon opening my eyes 2morrow..
Tomorrow is so close, so near, I smell it
Nobody is holding me back but me and these fears...

I'm going to close my eyes and look for me..
Look for that Woman
 HE has created me to be..
She's there,
Waiting to be embraced,
and you know, the most FASCINATING part about being Me is....
HE picked ME~

It's harder than you THINK...

Life is a daily struggle. If you haven't yet found that medium in your life that gives you the strength to balance it all, you will surely drown.
I try not to relate much of my past to my blogs but sometimes, its the easiest way to describe how and what I feel. I've learned, while yes my road is different than yours and sometimes we take different routes HOWEVER; somewhere our paths will intersect and we will eventually face some of the same issues.

I listen to the stories of many of my married friends, dating friends and single ones and we ALL echo the same sentiments. Parenting is HARD.  I can only speak for myself but even with having support its still tough. A Father will never understand the full involvement and the level most of us mothers make where parenting is concerned.
YES, I get it. Most fathers play the role of a disciplinarian, while some are non-existent. Then we have another group of fathers who leave everything to the mom and then complains when we shut them out. Really dude, what do you want from us?
Honestly, the way many of us parent is similar to how we were raised. And although we try to break the cycle, it tends to come back until we have completely figured out how to break it. I have 2 bff's. One grew who with an involved dad and the other one grew up with a part time dad who was on drugs. Today, as grown women, we all relate because at some point we became mothers and our fathers were not there completely. It was a constant struggle for me not to repeat my cycle with my daughter. I never talk in full detail about relationship with my father. It's been rocky to say the least but  know he loves me. I stayed in a relationship to provide stability for my daughter( or so I thought). In the end, I had to find my voice and take the path that would better not only me but give her a better picture.
I listen to the stories of so many sister girls who are going through it with the fathers of their children. Should our children have to suffer because of the decisions we made? No, they shouldn't. A Father should be a father no matter WHAT. I was good enough for you to lay down and roll in the sheets with me, now let the love we once shared be good enough for you to properly love the child we made together.
There are so many horror stories my sisters are dealing with. Absent fathers seems to top all the list though. YES, they can be absent while physically present too.
Is this a blog to bash Fathers? Not at all, it's a blog to salute the women who still sow respect for the fathers of our children even when it's hard.. It's a blog dedicated to the fathers who are fathering without being told to do so.. It's a blog dedicated to the fathers who have stepped up to help children who are not theirs. Its a blog to the mom, who works 40+ hours a week and goes to school at nite, It's a blog to the mothers who won't give up on their child even though society has kicked them out of programs and labeled them.
I LOVE my children and nothing can change that. But sometimes, even through the smile, its harder than you think.
So, don't judge the mother at the bus stop with 3 kids running around acting a plum fool. At least she still has them and they are not wards of the state.

Signed,
A mom in her feelings today~

An Equal Opportunity...

I recently experienced a 3 week journey, #21days that left me feeling:
Refreshed
Renewed
Refocused
and Rebuilt.
Have you ever experienced something that, although it was difficult some days, it left you appreciative at the end?
I'm learning and still growing. At 33, I know more than I did at 30 but not enough to say I know it all. I've learned enough to know that, my source of strength come from being tapped into a God that knows me better than I know me and who only wants me to succeed. I thought that, once I got to Atlanta, my journey would be complete and I would walk directly into GREATNESS. Don't misunderstand me, I have walked into better( got connected to an AWESOME church The dReam Center Church of Atlanta and AWESOME Pastors William and Danielle Murphy), which has turned into great but it's still not my GREATEST just yet. A three year process, that has taught me, that the 1st 3 quarters, you loose some and you win some but oh the 4th quarter( September 2 Remember), you take it all or go home.. And I've been taking it all. When situations are not working in your favor, YOU have the right to change the atmosphere and demand a shift on your behalf...

But, in the process, learn how to just SHUT UP... YES, we all have the right to share but when our sharing turns into other's way of belittling and laughing then it's no longer an equal opportunity for equal support..... We can't take everyone on the journey, we have to leave some people behind so when the empire is built, we can come back and get them.

I've grown to appreciate a few women placed in my circle. They each bring life to me but in a different way. I have 2 that I must talk to daily and I have others who I call on just when I need them the most!!!
While many have been placed to see what they can get from me, there are a few who really want to grow and mature with me.
If you surround yourself with sisters who think like you, there will be NO big I's and small you's...

There's equality for all. So, if you're crazy, find you some crazy"Certifiable" friends, if you're business minded search out business owners and if your road is leading you to go back to school, then register. We cannot always blame others for our failure and losses. You can only Blame you.
I have a 5 year plan that I will execute with or without someone pushing me. My #21 days has taught me that, God responds to the cry of the Worshipper and Grace and Favor are for me. There's Power in my voice and when I ask know that, God has enough equality to give to each of us... While man tries to validate, I look to GOD because the final YES and REWARD lies in HIM....

So, Baaaaay Bayyyyyyyy, know and understand I'm out here to Win It!!!

Signed,
2far2quit

Politically Correct... ( A Moment of Truth)

  Sometimes, when I sit and think of things I've done and said as a while growing up and coming into my own; I can truly say I was mean ole chick!!
 This morning, as the Partners of my church were gathered on the line for our morning prayer call, my Pastor made a comment that kinda caught me( and I'm sure many others) off guard..

After he said it, I sat and thought about it and I agreed with him.
God, I AM thankful I woke up in my right mind
God, I AM thankful I was able to blink my eyes, move my hands and feet without assistance
God, I AM thankful I can read, write and express myself based on what and how I feel, NOT what's programmed in me
God, TODAY I AM Thankful just for life and the option to move at my own speed

When I heard the terms "slow" and "retarded" growing up, I instantly thought of the kids who rode the short yellow buses, with helmets and drooled( don't judge me) but today, after my Pastor put it into a different perspective, I realized life has paralyzed many of us, leaving us in slow and retarded states.

We are "slow" to respond when God is speaking to us and we're "retarded" because our actions are and have become delayed. I must admit, I have had slow moments in life. And it's not because I was born that way, it was just my way of thinking at that moment.

 Let's take it a bit further, our responses to life in general with all of it's challenges, ups and downs have left us in "slow" and "retarded" non-responsive states. Our reactions to someone mistreating us, taking advantage or even  belittling us has left us numb and even slow. Slow to respond and delayed with a response. Hmmmmm, how many time have you stood and not responded??

While, it's politically correct not to use offensive words, sometimes the politically correct term has more than one use.
I will NEVER purposely call anyone out of their name or make fun of them, however if a word has two meaning it's POLITICALLY correct to use it, I will!!

17 years ago, we used the term slow alot. 16 years later, I refuse to act in a slow state. There is always that person who is mean and hurtful waiting to catch you on your off day and call you out of your name because  there's just mean spirited people in the world.. Don't fall victim!!

Signed,
I'm Refocused
Refreshed
Renewed and Rebuilding Daily~~

Reliving the memories of Disney on Ice....

 Being an only girl, attending Disney On Ice was hit or miss. Yeah, I was the unluckiest little girl with no girls in my household( my sisters lived with my father and their mother). Occasionally, I'd get to go with my sisters or an Aunt who was taking her daughters.

Don't get me wrong, we attended the Ringling Bros Barnum & Bailey Circus regularly but for my Mom to actually say, "We're going to Disney on Ice" with my 3 rough brothers in tow was a No No!! lol

Once, I began my career as a City of Boston Youth Worker and the free tix started coming in, I could easily find at least 6 youth or more interested in going. I remember our very 1st experience where 4 boys went with us. It was their very 1st time leaving out of the hood of Jamaica Plain, Ma to experience Disney on Ice. I remember the looks and admiration upon their faces. At the end of the event, as we prepared to head back they said, "Neka if you get more tix please include us". Two of them were murdered before we could experience it again as a group( and before I relocated to Georgia).

Li&Disney on Ice 11'

While working with the youth, I became 1st time mommy to a little girl and my dreams of attending Disney on Ice became a reality. From the time she was 9months up until just last year, we attended EVERY Disney on Ice event. I still have her very 1st Disney on Ice admittance tix( I know, semi collector of things with meaning to ME)... No judgement please!!!

I'm excited about the upcoming Disney on Ice experience. I'm already making preparations with an evening sitter( most likely the Mr) for my son because this is the type of event I like to experience with just my daughter( I love my son and he's tons of fun, he just hasn't mastered sitting still. Yes, he's only 1). I'm ready to purchase a snow cone, a souvenir booklet and maybe something small for the boy, just because!

We LOVE Disney on Ice~~ Hurry October!!!!

Parents Mess Up 2

Recently, my daughter made the dance team at her school.. I'm not going to lie, I was a bit amazed that she made the team.

She's a lot like me and that includes not having rhythm like ME!!! Lol I mean, I've never been big on dancing, I grew up as a church girl and when I did go out or party I kept it simple... The basic moves that allowed me to look cute and hip. To my amazement, my family was yet surprised, when I too made the cheer leading team in high school.

Aha, I just passed those same reaction on to my child... WOW!!

Wednesday, the Rubies ( her dance team) had their very First performance at the local Whole Foods as a fundraiser for their school.

One of my clients who has stepped into the role as her Big Sister, attended the event with her as I was still working.  While Li was home preparing for the event, I told her( as I do daily) to focus and have fun. She got dressed, I combed her hair and she was off!!

As they prepared to dance, her Big Sis sent me a number of pics and she sent 2 videos of the performance!! I sat there and smiled and watched the video over and over again... My baby girl did that performance!!! My heart was on a 15!! Hype I tell ya!!

Li arrived back home with her big sis and I gave her the biggest hug and kiss!! And that moment was ruined when her sis said I sent you a text... I read it and my eyes swelled with water and my heart sank. She asked her why wasn't she happy about dancing and my daughter responded, " My mom is always saying I have no rhythm and it makes me sad".... Slice, right across my heart!! Dang, I just passed my own negative experiences to my daughter.. Dang that stung.. It was in that moment I realized I gotta do better and I cannot belittle anything she enjoys bc it wasn't embraced for me..

Parenting is challenging. Some days are good, some are bad but in order for our children to excel we have to speak the truth with LOVE and Support them even when it looks dim.

I hugged my baby girl and apologized. I reminded her that I love her and I'm proud of her. I also told her to continue dancing( oh she's a local cheerleader too) bc it makes her HAPPY..

Signed,
I made a Mistake as a Mom and said Sorry!

Heather my New mommy friend...: A Survivor...

 When I typically hear the word Cancer, I think of Lung Cancer, Breast Cancer, Throat Cancer, Remission, Pink Ribbons, Chemotherapy, losing hair, losing weight and the ultimate.. DEATH.

 I've seen the St. Jude commercials for young children who are fighting to live, I've supported The Susan G. Komen efforts, my Aunts have fought breast cancer and Won, my daughter's bus driver has started treatment and even I have fought thru what my Doctor, thought was the onset of it developing in my hand. But
never have I had the opportunity to actual read and listen to someone's story until my blog opened up communication between Heather Von St. James and I. After the initial email between Heather and I, I began to read her blog and find out about more about her.
 She's wife to Cameron and Mommy to Lily Rose her only child). Lily Rose is a quirky little girl and she's EVERYTHING to Heather.

She grew up in South Dakota and was a daddy's girl. Her father was a construction worker and when he came home with the white powdery substances on his boots/clothes nobody ever thought anything about it. In 2005, shortly after giving birth to Lily, she began to experience problems with breathing and carried an alarmingly high fever. Later, test showed she had a serious form of Mesothelioma, Asbestos Cancer which was rarely seen in someone her age.

As she and I communicated, she said her biggest worry and concern was, who would care for Lily if she were not there? After talking to some of the best Dr's in the world at Brigham and Women's Hospital, she and her husband traveled to Boston( My hometown) to began the process to remove the bad lung.

I wasn't sure what Heather really wanted from me upon our first initial encounter but as I read more it became clear.. Share with my audience.

I always say, my writing is therapeutic but in this case, I was a vessel used to share awareness. Please click on the link to read more about Heather and find out ways you too can support her and her cause.

http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/heather/

Heather, Thank YOU for reaching out to me. After reading your story, I'm a bit more familiar with this form of cancer as well. Being a voice and supporting others is part of our life's mission. I'm glad I was able to do my part on today~~

You can follow Heather on twitter @heathervsj

The Unlikeliest WAYS.....

 I'm a writer. It's a passion of mine. I can sit and write for days, as long as the mood is there and my hand is hot( a phrase that means so many things in my life). As I reflect on my last few entries, I've talked about a number of things. And with my blogs, I've received quite a few responses from people I know and random readers.

 To my surprise, my last entry received a simple, Hey Can you contact me about your blog, followed by in email in my comment section. First thing I did, was become defensive. In a matter of minutes I go from, I hope this isn't an anti-discipline demonstrator reaching out to me to; I swear I just write what I feel and  people can agree or disagree but don't bring the drama to me( yeah Cheneka was about to surface but I quickly spoke to her and said, Peace be still girl)~~~ LOL

I don't think I responded right away because I wanted to approach the situation delicately. I mean, I totally disregarded the fact that it could've been a parent just reaching out to me for moral support and advice( isn't it awful that most of us tend to expect the worse than looking on the bright side).
 I finally composed my email and added this disclaimer, "I write what I feel and you have the right to disagree or agree".  I never expected this....

Hi Neka! Thanks for the reply! The reason I have reached out to you is because of your blog! I am 43 and a mother to a quirky little 7 year old, Lily. She is my only child, and my whole world. When Lily was just 3 1/2 months old, I was diagnosed with Mesothelioma; a type of cancer that kills 90-95% of those who have it. As I’m sure you can imagine, the first thing that came to mind when I was diagnosed was my baby girl and how I wasn’t going to be able to watch her grow up.

After intense treatment and recovery, I’m still here 6 1/2 years later and cancer free! My journey with cancer was a terrifying one and I'd like to turn my pain into purpose and become someone that other people can look to for guidance, inspiration, and hope in situations like my own. I contacted you because I feel that your blog would be an excellent place for me to share my story. I realize that you may be thinking my story is not exactly a perfect fit for your blog audience, but I’m trying to raise awareness of this horrible little known cancer that is such a deadly killer (and sadly, 100% preventable) 

WOW, wasn't expecting that.. With life, the kids, my business and other obligations I haven't had time to breath.. But, I made a commitment to myself to write more. Why not let my first blog in weeks be about something of importance? My blog audience, I'd like to introduce you to Heather and Lily

Please check back on tomorrow and journey with me to share Heather's story.  Just my luck, a blog about discipline opened my eyes to a Mother who understands the struggle, who has suffered and WON.. And with all she's faced, still has the time to raise a child, who will be a wonderful addition to the world and NOT a Spawn of Chuckie!!! (LOL, no pun intended)

My buddy Heather, tomorrow will be your day to shine unless one of these Spawns of ChUckie tie me up.... NOT~~

Signed~

I met a friend....

YOU spare the rod, YOU fail your child....

I tend to think and feel I'm a very strong Woman. I've endured Natural childbirth, the loss of a child, relocating alone with a then 4 year old, and 6 Ganglion Cyst surgeries( that were thought to be cancerous) on my dominant hand; one would think I've conquered enough. Not to mention, the heart breaks, loves lost and other issues we face as Women, yup I wear my shield and wear it well.

I guess that wasn't enough. I've dealt with working with teens in under privileged areas who thought they could intimidate me, I've dealt with my male teens thinking they could talk to me and I've dealt with parents who felt that i HAD to represent their delinquent children in court. Shall I go on??

I've dealt with little people who've been on various medication too... BUT none of that compared to the little spawn of Chuckie that stepped foot thru my KISS location to receive services on yesterday and today. This little 3 year old tested my nerves and patience in a way that if he were my child he would've gotten a real slap choke( don't judge me)... I understand, I get it that as parents we all have various styles and techniques that work for our families. BUT, a word from the wise, We need to stop setting our children up for failure at such a young age. There comes a point and time that we began the process of preparing our children for daycare and such.

I digress, KISS is NOT a daycare we provide sitter and nanny services ONLY...

We need to prepare them with the tools to succeed. It's not cute for a three year old to run around spitting at and on people, yelling dumba$$ and telling adults, "I don't like you". Sometimes, a child does need a pop or to be sat alone from the group. We need to stay consistent in how we discipline our children. I know and I get it, alot of people do not believe in spanking their children. BUT trust me, I grew up getting them every now and again and I turned out okay. I finished school and I made something of myself. My mom was a single parent raising 4 children on her own and she did what worked for her. YES, things were hard but she was consistent in her parenting.

33 years later, I live to tell about it and I'm a successful WOMAN. I challenge you, to NIP bad behavior before it spirals out of control... Because, if you spare the rod, you spoil the child......

A Time to reflect.....

I've been in Georgia going on three years.. Wow, I made it. I know that many people thought I wouldn't make it and that I'd go back home BUT the night we packed up the car and the last of my shoe boxes were packed onto the moving truck, I bid a goodbye to the East Coast and I'll see you when I see you...

Up until the week I transitioned from Boston to my Mother's house, I was still working as a Youth Worker for the City of Boston. Not only was I doing my Youth Work but duty called for me to wear my Post Traumatic Grief hat as well. We were called into Dorchester to help the family and the community deal with the senseless slaying of a young mom to three small children. She was shot in the head upon returning from choir rehearsal( her home church was literally around the corner). She was killed in front of her 3 young children, steps away from her grandmother's porch. I had dealt with a number of murders, some being close( children right from my program) however, this one hit me quite differently. I too am a mother. for about a week or 2, leading up to the funeral and burial we provided services and support to the family. Helping others in their time of need has always been my call in life. We helped with the basic PTS needs of the family( helping them grieve, setting them up with counseling, connecting them with the Louis D. Brown Peace Institute and the final step, contacting a funeral home and receiving money from the Victims of Relief Fund( if needed).

This young mother had alot going for. You see, what the media feed the community is not always the truth. We sat with her family hours on end just talking about Yanna. Not only that, but she was friends with my cousins and her children's father was a friend from high school. Up until the day of the service, we were readily available for the family with any thoughts, questions or needs they had.

Upon my relocation, I vowed to keep in contact with the family and I have kept my word.

As reflect on my journey and the twists and turns it has taken, its becoming full circle and I'm appreciating the woman I always was just didn't know how to fully embrace.

I'm sure you've heard the phrase, " To whom much is given much is required", that has rang in my ears for a number of years now and yesterday as I sat and listened to my Pastor teach/empower/preach I had an "Ahhh Haaaa" moment. Like I previously stated, I'm embarking upon my 3rd year in the good ole state of Ga and I can count on one hand how many people have been to visit or check up on my family and I. I must admit, it hurt because you know how people say, "Oh I'll keep in touch" and they never do?? It kinda put me in a position where I said, " the hell with me running to Boston". But, as God's words thru Pastor Murph were spoken, He said( and I quote) " The Lord is with YOU and he did not bring YOU this far to leave you".. He also said, sometimes its not that people don't care but they know deep down that you're okay and that you'll be ok. When the favor of the LORD is upon you, you're already protected. So, don't become upset when people are not checking on you, it's okay because God's favor is already upon you... WHEW, that spoke volumes to me and my life.

So, as I've taken moments every now and again to reflect on MY life, I can honestly say, It's been all good!! May not have everything I want right now BUT I have everything I NEED. As I keep growing, living, serving and selflessly giving of what I have, my time and talents my blessings are closer than I could EVER imagine.. It's funny, I always knew what I was meant to do in life was bigger than me being in Massachusetts and I'm thankful that I stepped out of my comfort zone into the unknown. It's been a tough ride some days but all in all the ride has been smoother than I could imagine~

Take sometime to reflect, you never know how RICH you truly are until you stop and just say Thank you....

Signed,
I'm Rich....

Do it with a Smile....

 You ever get that feeling like today IS NOT the day but you continue on, faking the funk and doing it with a smile??? Yes, I'm guilty.. But I'm learning that it's not necessarily faking the funk. It's merely choosing which situation can stay small and not escalate into battles.

Recently, I found my inner strength. and trust me, sometimes it's hard to tap into it when you allow minor obstacles to block the entrance.

Excepting who you are has been such a fight for so many people. Some are not happy with their appearance, so they alter who they are by making many outward changes. Some are not happy with their character, so they tend be someone else.

You will never fully be happy as YOU until you except YOU... 

Except your life

Except your journey

Except where you've been

Except where you're going

Except your features( big hips, lips, small butt, huge thighs, just to name a few)

Except where you've come from to better appreciate where you are going....

Ultimately learn to love you. When you have captured who you really are, what qualities you poses, you will then see that it's not so bad being YOU...

You will live with your smile

You will perform with your Smile

You will share your Smile

and you will be happy being you.

So, today I'm doing everything with a SMILE~

Some days.... Just NO words...

 Yesterday, whew yesterday. I do NOT want to relive it at all. Spent a great deal of the am, at Northside Medical Center for Pediatrics Wellness. My Mooda Pie's eye looked like she had gone through the ringer with Mike Tyson and Muhammed Ali at the same time. She has a fear of Dr's every since she was 2 and she stuffed a crayon up her nose. We took her into the ER, they sedated her with some meds that didn't help, put her in a baby restraint jacket and removed the crayon. And in the process, she scratched the ER nurse right across the face( hangs head).

When she woke on Monday, I did notice a little of swollen"NESS" but assumed it was just due to the weather, her sleeping wrong.. You know, as moms we rationalize everything. However, about 3.5 hours into cheer camp, she calls me from her phone crying. I go and pick her up and I notice her eye is a bit more swollen as is her face from crying. We get home, I give her Benadryl and she's out like a light.

We proceed with the remainder of our evening and her eye is looking a bit more shut. I tell her, "Moo, I'm calling your Dr 1st thing tomorrow to let her know what's going on". Wait, mommy she says, if I have to go in, will I get a shot? Girl, that's the least of our worries right now. Let's find out what's wrong with you.

After it was all said and done, I ended up taking her to the Dr's office. Her prognosis, 1 of two things: A Sty or a nerve in her eye became inflamed. Whatever the deal, I didn't like it. However, a Mother's job is never complete.

It later dawned on me that I'm just flat out tired. I make time for everyone but I'm losing more of ME in the process. I'm a MOM 25hours8days a week( ya'll know it feels like we do extra), then I'm Team KISS from 6;15am til 10:30pm( most nights), I take care of home then I crash about midnight to wake up and do it all again. I'm NOT a 1 Woman show but some days, it truly feels like it. I just need that break, I need to find that extra wind of air and start all over. It's not a good thing to feel like you're shutting down... so, in order to avoid it, I'm going to find an extra hour devoted just to me. Even if I'm just reading a book, meditating or sitting ALONE in SOLIDTUDE I'm doing it...

When we are no good to ourselves, we're of no good to anyone else... I need to keep going, this is not the time to get tired... But some days, there are just no words...

OAN: Watching these senior citizens in their workout class on the News and they look amazing... Whoomp, whoomp... I need to work out harder too... Guess I'll get my miles in real quick this am!!

The Struggle is Real and Alive....

" Everyone hurts, Everyone Fails, Everyone has the urge to throw in the towel"...

 Whenever I think of life, I think of this poem by Langston Hughes, "Mother to Son"

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor --
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

This struggle is nothing new to world. To me though, it just seems as though it's gotten harder. We all go through, we all want to give up.. But I'm learning if you stay strong and don't give up, there's something waiting at the end PEACE!

My 1st year in Atl was a definite struggle. Not because I couldn't survive but because I had left what was familiar and launched into my unfamiliar phase. Yes, I had family scattered throughout Georgia but they all are at least 40-45 minutes from me. However, this adjustment wasn't about them but about me. It was such a blessing that everything I needed was right in my area. Li's school was/is down the rd, shopping plaza up the street, a bus line was convient and church was within a 20-25minute drive.

But for some the struggle is more that just adjusting. It's the mere challenge of surviving. Beating the odds and living. Keeping a decent paying job, maintaining a home AND ALL the other obstacles we face.

I laugh at the commercial " I have no money because I don't have a job, I don't have a job because I didn't go to school......" But that's the fate for many people. It's sad but true. Will I ever catch a break, will I ever get out of this runt?
Sometimes, we have to go through it to become better. There's strength to be found every time to hear the word no. For every dark cloud, there's a cloud that's going to move and allow the sun to shine through but you have to stay encouraged.

I haven't blogged on a Sunday in a long time but I couldn't let the day place without encouraging someone to Fight thru their struggle!!

It's going to get better,
Signed,
I Held On~

Sometimes you GOTTA laugh to keep from crying...

 There's definitely an understanding between twins that the world will never understand. I've had the opportunity to watch my twin Aunt&Uncle growing up. They are hilarious together. I have bonus girls who are twins as well. They are still young, so I'm sure their interactions will enhance as they grow. However, watching my two friend girls from Detroit who are twins is quite Hay-La-Rious~~~

These two are like two peas in a pod. They are not identical BUT they are so much alike that they are not alike( you would have to see them in action to get it) all.

We all go thru trying times in our lives. How we determine to face them depends on our strength and stability. Personally, I'm a worry wart. I mean, I worry about the simple things too (don't judge me). Prime example, when my daughter forgets her lunch at home and I can't get it to her, I worry if she'll attempt the school lunch or will she just choose to starve and be hungry until she arrives home after school( see, I said don't judge LOL). Or, when I use my debit card in hopes that the charge won't hit until the check clears( and that's real because I'm sure ya'll do it too, again No Judging).

This last month has been trying for a majority of us I'm sure. We've either learned to adjust or we whole heartedly believe, God will never put more on us than we can bare. We grin and bare it while inside we fight the urge to break down.

Back to the twin friend girls. Their interaction yesterday went from, ready to fight each other to loving and watching netflix together in a matter of 10minutes literally. I stood from a distance( wasn't sure if the blows were going to come, lol) and watched this amazing exchange of LOVE between the 2 of them. Yes, it was heated. BUT their LOVE made them laugh and whatever feelings they felt about what they are going thru erased the need to cry. I'm learning, other that looking a mess, drooling and boo hooing, what does crying really do? You feel good after you do it but the issue still remains and you're still faced with whatever is placed before you. Yesterday's experience reminded me that, we have to keep rolling with the punches. Face life head on. Yes we ALL mess up, there'll be good days and bad and sometimes we may want it all to just go away.

However, we know it won't just go away. Face whatever it is head on and give it your best shot!!

Yes, lemons are sour BUT if you grab some water or even some sugar, hmmmmm it becomes tolerable and the taste is soothing!! Ahhhh, and refreshing!! I'll drink to that~

Make it a great Day~

No Judgement here....

 To be or Not to be, that is the question.
 To judge or Not to judge that's the REAL question.

People are quick to say, who am I to judge YOU. However, there's still a slight form of judgement that takes place. This week has been a very trying week for Tameka Foster, ex wife to Artist/Performer Usher Raymond. And, until you're a parent and you've been faced with a decision such as hers( to take your child off life support or let him continue to fight) you'll never understand.

12 years ago, I was in a somewhat similar situation. I was 21 years old, pregnant with my first child and he was diagnosed Congenital Heart Disease Failure. I was in my 6th month of pregnancy and I had to decide whether or not to continue with the pregnancy or have a DNC performed. After talking it over with my then boyfriend and immediate family members, I decided to terminate with a DNC procedure. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. After having a number of procedures done, it was time to deliver him. We decided that if by any chance little Dahvon came out breathing, we would fight for him to live. I'm glad I serve a forgiving and caring God because he already knew what was best for me and the baby.

A few people did judge my decision and a family member even said "there were never any thoughts to kill YOU". However, until you're faced with a decision as such, refrain from judging. There is only 1 God and 1 Heaven or Hell to put you in.  He makes the ultimate decision. Parents are faced with a number of decisions daily. Some choices and decisions are more drastic than others. But the fact remains, a choice still has to be made and we have to respect what the parent decides.

My thoughts&prayers are with Tameka, Ryan( his biological father), Usher, Kyle's brothers and other family members who are affected by this tragic accident. Little Kyle, God Bless your soul and whatever the final decision may be, God we will accept it and it will be well with our souls~~

Sincerely,
A mom who understands

I PUSH a little Harder...

Since becoming a small Business Owner, I'm learning that in order to be successful, it takes having people who think like you on your team. My 1st year has taught me lessons in finance, determination, commitment, responsibility and friendship. At the end of the day, if you're not strong enough one of them will kill you.

I have developed a greater sense of my self worth and my strengths. Some days I have it all together and some days it's easy to feel that I want to give up.  But I go forth. I'm not working just to establish my name but to establish good work ethics so my children will have something to aspire too.

KISS, was and has operated in my home. It was just a small idea( that I had in my head) that has now grown into over 20+ families being served. I never thought in my wildest dreams I would take something I'm truly passionate about( helping women and caring for kids) and make it into a reality.

What has been the hardest one might ask? I'm learning to separate friendship from business. This has been a lesson that only JESUS himself could help me understand. I'm glad that some strong women have crossed my path along the way and they are helping me to toughen up and realize that, just because we have difference in opinions where services are concerned; after we hash it out we carry on as grown women who are friends.

Today, I'm saluting LIFE... Oh it gets hard. Some days are full of tears, some days are trying and some days there are more successes than failures! YES you WIN some and during that 1st year you LOSE some too. Never under estimate who you are and what you provide. To one person, my services are just plain ole baby sitting( which is it) however, to the next person I'm providing a safe haven, where she's extremely comfortable leaving her son. For every upset, there's a comment like this that makes me Push a little harder...

I didn't know how strong I was until I decided to pay me what I'm worth.. I didn't fully understand my business' value until I had to start looking for a permanent location. You feel your job isn't paying you what you're worth? Make YOUR own position and pay yourself. Become your OWN cheerleader, I did and each day I Push a little harder!!!

I must Continue....

 "The process of closing out one door can be hard if it's not properly closed"....

I can't move, I just can't move! I just need to see her face, I don't know why I vividly remember that line from The color Purple but I do( Random, I know)... After hearing Sunday's message it made sense. That was Miss Celie's way of shutting the door. Sometimes it can be a physical door and sometimes the "door" represents whatever closure we need.

And it hit me, I need to close out a few of my own doors. We all tend to get caught up in feeling like we're past something or we're totally healed until that situation faces us again. It can be something as simple as a bad relationship, or even a good relationship we let turn sour. Sometimes we have to close the door on family, friends, jobs and relationships( just to name a few) that mean us NO GOOD( a door I've walked thru more than once but NEVER properly closed)

I'm learning, it's not that life is all hard, it's just we go thru it carrying so many scars that it makes us hard.Saturday I feel and scrapped both of my knees something serious.. I was walking to the car, holding my son. He made a slight movement I lost MY Balance and down I went... Hmmmmm, such is life. We carry so much un necessary weight until it soon weighs us down and we fall. Saturday, when I lost my balance it happened so quickly that I didn't give myself time to physically lay out in the middle of the parking lot and wail( extra I know), I caught myself, got my strength and got backup. And trust there was an audience ( go figure, a group of teenagers LAWD)... I heard one of the teens say, "ya'll seen that lady fall just now", someone else yelled out and asked if I was ok, me: YES and another asked if the baby was okay( who by the way is 1 and can walk but of course I was rushing so I picked him up) which he was. A mother knows to shield her baby!! As I finished that sentence it hit me, so many of our problems come from carrying grown people... Shoot, we have to let them walk ya'll!!

It's funny but in life we have that same type of meddling audience. However, they ask questions not out of concern but out of being nosey and making sure we're down for the count. Everyone is NOT a cheerleader. and out of 10, 7 will slightly wish the WORST for us anyway.

My Pastor, Dee Murphy said it best on Sunday," we cannot go into tomorrow because previous doors have not been SHUT... and when we SHUT the door we are shutting out ALL of the doubters"...  The worst types of doors the leave open and un attended are the doors that lead to mess.

Today, I'm closing a few doors. What we consider memories are sometimes clouded with thinking we need to keep the person within reach. While I walked this morning, I played my iTunes. I had to go through a number or artist of which I don't listen to, to get to who I was initially looking for. Guess, I need to close the door to some of that music too. Then I thought of my contact list, yeah over 1,000 numbers and 1/2 of those numbers are of no real use to me,I must go on a deleting spree too.

Shutting doors and leaving them SHUT is the only way we properly heal and boldly walk into our tomorrow. Today can only be as strong as the mess we left in our yesterday....

I must continue to be of good courage and strong. I must continue to go where no 1 has gone before( and not space, the Final frontier).. there's a mission with my name on it.. There are people I must help. It's a job that was created for me before Me... and I must continue BUT first let me SHUT these doors....

Just Can't Win them ALL....

 It seems, the more people we try to please the more people who become offended. I would love to just one day wake up and not have to hear and nagging. But, that's asking to much I suppose!

 In a perfect world( cricketts..........) people would understand the importance of living a life they are proud of. At the young age of 33, I'm learning I have 2 people that mean more to me than anyone ELSE in the world. They are Chelia Ne'Dawn and Matthew Ashton. The way they view me as 1st, their MOM and 2nd, as a Woman carries more weight than what anyone else says or thinks( I do have 5 people that mean just as much but they already know they matter) of me. We just cannot please everyone.  My goal is to make my CHILDREN happy, to make my CHILDREN smile, to go above and beyond for them. The heck with adults. I mean, after a certain age shouldn't we ALL be responsible for our own happiness and care less about what and how the next person is living and maintaining?

 We tend to put to much concern in the next person's life. So what if they don't agree with you, so what if they don't talk to you. It doesn't mean they don't like you( a lesson that should've been learned in grammar school, some failed the course miserably) it just means they are their own person with their own way of thinking and operating. If we all walked around and spoke the same, thought the same and lived the same, it would be a boring world with no originality.

I have 6 siblings. I grew up in the same house with 3 of the 6. I can honestly attest that although they are boys, we all are totally different. Which at times baffled me because we were in the same house with the same mother dealing with the same issues. However, we viewed them differently and had our OWN individual take on life itself.


Trust me, there will be days where no matter how much you talk, show forth with your actions and be helpful, someone will not like it and to some it just won't be enough. I say, throw in the flag on that situation and take the high road and walk away.... It doesn't mean you're giving up. It just means you LOVE yourself alot more than to keep going through the same drama just on a different day.

I'm not living my life as a race. I'm enjoying each day I'm allowed( Thank You JESUS) to wake up and breathe. I'm enjoying each day I'm allowed to be with or speak to family and friends. I'm enjoying laughing, running, smiling, shopping, living and above all making a difference. So, just in case you missed the memo, I'm NOT living a life to please everyone. As long as my GOD and children are pleased I've completed the task set before me...

 ~Just Can't Win them ALL but for the ones I can, Thank U for being you and allowing me to be ME~

It's that good Hair Y'all.. or is it?

I always hear, "Nek you got some good hair, is your hair relaxed, and my fave What are you mixed with"...??? It's all in the hair or is it?

Growing up was a nightmare sometimes. I always had super long hair and when my mom washed it, it was an all day process. Wash, condition, press, grease scalp, comb and style. I was so glad it wasn't a weekly process!!

I never really needed a relaxer( yall do know there's a difference between a relaxer and perm right). I got my 1st relaxer at around 12 and my last real one at about 23 years old and for like 2 or 3 years after that, I got what 1 would call just a halo( relaxer around the edges because they were what I perceived as nappy)SMH. 

During my High School years, my uncle styled my hair. Every other Thursday( I worked part-time in my grandmother's hair salon) was my day to get pretty. I swear, my classmates would always ask if my hair was a weave! LOL I did attempt to glue a track in my hair once and it looked a hot mess! I never did that again. I was never big on braids either. Tried that a few times. I never understood the hoopla associated with weave and braids. Too each his own, I suppose...

Now that I'm an adult, I'm learning how to properly care for my hair. How to train my curl pattern and the importance of drinking water. Water keeps the scalp replenished and it helps to retain the nutrients needed to keep it healthy. There are so many treatments I now know about because I'm 100 percent natural.... Ahhh, natural. 

There are so many different levels of natural. I've witnessed a number of friends doing the BC( big chop) and joining the Au Natural journey. We've joined hair groups, sought out different products in in the name of taking care of my hair..

I've learned, good hair isn't just always the grade/grain of our hair, it's how well we care for it. Who wants to walk around with a mane that resembles a lion? hmmmm, some do but I'm hoping it's by choice.!!!! lol

We all can obtain good hair. Whether your hair is,( As my sistergirl once said), " straight N1 hair( negro hair) or as my bestie told me, my hair(mine) is 1/2 bred, ( I died at both), WE all can have nicely styled and healthy hair!! Some of us will result in the usage of creamy crack, some will use berries and juices, some will seek out products to make it curl just right! Whatever boat you choose to Rock in, make it work for you and embrace your hair!! Cause, it's not about the grade of hair but how well you maintain it~~~