Heather my New mommy friend...: A Survivor...

 When I typically hear the word Cancer, I think of Lung Cancer, Breast Cancer, Throat Cancer, Remission, Pink Ribbons, Chemotherapy, losing hair, losing weight and the ultimate.. DEATH.

 I've seen the St. Jude commercials for young children who are fighting to live, I've supported The Susan G. Komen efforts, my Aunts have fought breast cancer and Won, my daughter's bus driver has started treatment and even I have fought thru what my Doctor, thought was the onset of it developing in my hand. But
never have I had the opportunity to actual read and listen to someone's story until my blog opened up communication between Heather Von St. James and I. After the initial email between Heather and I, I began to read her blog and find out about more about her.
 She's wife to Cameron and Mommy to Lily Rose her only child). Lily Rose is a quirky little girl and she's EVERYTHING to Heather.

She grew up in South Dakota and was a daddy's girl. Her father was a construction worker and when he came home with the white powdery substances on his boots/clothes nobody ever thought anything about it. In 2005, shortly after giving birth to Lily, she began to experience problems with breathing and carried an alarmingly high fever. Later, test showed she had a serious form of Mesothelioma, Asbestos Cancer which was rarely seen in someone her age.

As she and I communicated, she said her biggest worry and concern was, who would care for Lily if she were not there? After talking to some of the best Dr's in the world at Brigham and Women's Hospital, she and her husband traveled to Boston( My hometown) to began the process to remove the bad lung.

I wasn't sure what Heather really wanted from me upon our first initial encounter but as I read more it became clear.. Share with my audience.

I always say, my writing is therapeutic but in this case, I was a vessel used to share awareness. Please click on the link to read more about Heather and find out ways you too can support her and her cause.

http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/heather/

Heather, Thank YOU for reaching out to me. After reading your story, I'm a bit more familiar with this form of cancer as well. Being a voice and supporting others is part of our life's mission. I'm glad I was able to do my part on today~~

You can follow Heather on twitter @heathervsj

The Unlikeliest WAYS.....

 I'm a writer. It's a passion of mine. I can sit and write for days, as long as the mood is there and my hand is hot( a phrase that means so many things in my life). As I reflect on my last few entries, I've talked about a number of things. And with my blogs, I've received quite a few responses from people I know and random readers.

 To my surprise, my last entry received a simple, Hey Can you contact me about your blog, followed by in email in my comment section. First thing I did, was become defensive. In a matter of minutes I go from, I hope this isn't an anti-discipline demonstrator reaching out to me to; I swear I just write what I feel and  people can agree or disagree but don't bring the drama to me( yeah Cheneka was about to surface but I quickly spoke to her and said, Peace be still girl)~~~ LOL

I don't think I responded right away because I wanted to approach the situation delicately. I mean, I totally disregarded the fact that it could've been a parent just reaching out to me for moral support and advice( isn't it awful that most of us tend to expect the worse than looking on the bright side).
 I finally composed my email and added this disclaimer, "I write what I feel and you have the right to disagree or agree".  I never expected this....

Hi Neka! Thanks for the reply! The reason I have reached out to you is because of your blog! I am 43 and a mother to a quirky little 7 year old, Lily. She is my only child, and my whole world. When Lily was just 3 1/2 months old, I was diagnosed with Mesothelioma; a type of cancer that kills 90-95% of those who have it. As I’m sure you can imagine, the first thing that came to mind when I was diagnosed was my baby girl and how I wasn’t going to be able to watch her grow up.

After intense treatment and recovery, I’m still here 6 1/2 years later and cancer free! My journey with cancer was a terrifying one and I'd like to turn my pain into purpose and become someone that other people can look to for guidance, inspiration, and hope in situations like my own. I contacted you because I feel that your blog would be an excellent place for me to share my story. I realize that you may be thinking my story is not exactly a perfect fit for your blog audience, but I’m trying to raise awareness of this horrible little known cancer that is such a deadly killer (and sadly, 100% preventable) 

WOW, wasn't expecting that.. With life, the kids, my business and other obligations I haven't had time to breath.. But, I made a commitment to myself to write more. Why not let my first blog in weeks be about something of importance? My blog audience, I'd like to introduce you to Heather and Lily

Please check back on tomorrow and journey with me to share Heather's story.  Just my luck, a blog about discipline opened my eyes to a Mother who understands the struggle, who has suffered and WON.. And with all she's faced, still has the time to raise a child, who will be a wonderful addition to the world and NOT a Spawn of Chuckie!!! (LOL, no pun intended)

My buddy Heather, tomorrow will be your day to shine unless one of these Spawns of ChUckie tie me up.... NOT~~

Signed~

I met a friend....

I Ain't Gon Lie

I Ain't Gon Lie

It's hard...
You want to tell me when life hands you lemons to make lemonade..
Tuh,
How about making a $ out of 8 pennies..
Pay a light bill when rent is due,
Tell a child you don't have it and mean it because you don't..

( shrug)
I believe in taking the high road in every tough situation.
Stick it out, it'll get better.
The best is yet to come just hold on...

I'm holding on put the rope is thin,
I'm holding on but I want to give in..

It's hard...
Taking care of everything without a break in sight..
Wake up tired, trying to find rest when you're tired.
It's a win lose situation
But I was told quitting is for losers so I'm going to keep on striving

It's hard...
Making it where nobody knows your name
And everyone is out trying to gain just a lil' bit of fame.

It's hard...
Struggling within myself to find myself,
Struggling to stay afloat when sometimes I could really just jump off the boat..

But I Win,
I win
I win
I win

It's an uphill battle
But someone has to do it
I gotta make it to the top
I gotta show my babies that thru it all, living your life is worth the fight

It's hard..
But I'm going to stay on my knees
When I'm praying I'm refueled
When I'm refueled I'm stronger
And when I'm stronger
No matter how hard it is
No matter how many times I'm told no,
There's a YES waiting for me and I must carry On~

Don't Count ME out, Just yet.....

The rule in my house is, no animals on legs that will require me to do more cleaning on top of what I already have. My daughter had a hermet crab named Sebe, but he died within 3 weeks of moving in with us. So, NOW we keep it simple and go with Beta fish. Extremely low maintenance and can go days without being feed( I'm sorry, don't call PETA).. Well, I cleaned Kandi's( ok, so we have a cousin named Cookie, so my daughter said well since Cookie is my cousin, can Kandi( from RHOA) be my Aunt.. I know, xtra) little humble living quarters on Sunday. Since, cleaning it out, she's been swimming towards the top and looking real deathly. I mean, her body was doing that death bend and she just looked lethargic( weird talk for a BETA but it's true). Lastnite I told Mooda, "looks like Kandi is on her way out", she said " I know mommy. Let's just flush her now". I said, "no, let's see what happens. Behold, Kandi is swimming like she now has a new breath of fresh air, a NEW take on life. ( True Story)

I started to think about life and how we count people out. I know people who were drug addicts. When I'm able to sit and listen to them tell their stories I'm amazed at their resiliency to survive. Family members walk out on them, society turns their noses and consider them low lives and the down trodden. Once you realize you've had enough, you find a piece of you that you lost and you FIGHT against ALL odds and come out on top.

No, I'm NOT a recovering drug addict but I've lived through and unhealthy relationship. Your eyes cannot see the negative effects until you're finally fed up and YOU're ready to make that change. If you have children, they become the voice and power you use to do better. It's a good place to find YOU and leave the mess where it is. My downfall during that unhappy place was to eat. I've never openly admitted this but I was at an all time FAT HIGH. I was wearing a 16/18 and tipping the scale at 200lbs. I was MISERABLE. One day, a light went off and I fought for ME and my daughter.

I takes alot to find your voice especially when you're fighting against the hurt, pain and people talking about your situation vs helping you. A smile can mean alot, especially when you've learned to fake it and make it.

5 years later, I'm Kandi this morning. I've fought and now I know I have the strength to fight through it. Losing it all to gain a new insight on life and BETTER relationship with GOD is a reward worth gaining all over again.

So, as Kandi lives to see a new day: As do I and all the people who have been counted out. We're down but only for a while. We carry the strength to SURVIVE against all odds!!!

" I Shall Swim to see a New Day"