the 3 easiest words can sometimes be the hardest...

"I Love You".. We say it to our parents, to our children, our spouses, siblings, friends etc. Most of the time its derived from a happy place. I mean who really thinks about saying "I Love You" and never seeing that person again...

My family is facing this right now as we speak. My Grandmother"Mamount" had 11 children. My eldest Aunt Bobbie and eldest Uncle Ed jr passed a while ago and that left 9. Now my eldest remaining Aunt Linda is currently fighting for her life. And although we would love for our family members to live forever, its a contract they have with God and when their time is up, they sign on the dotted line, say their goodbyes and "I LOVE You's" and slip away into Eternal Rest.

I have tons of memories I hold in my heart of my Aunt. YES, she was a bit tough and called me fast more times than once( yall know what FAST mean right, LOL) but her LOVE was genuine. I remember when we lived in Florida, she would come over from Pensacola and we'd all hang at my other Aunt's house. It was like, we had aunts and uncles with us in Boston, then we had all the older aunts in Florida. My family is big and when my Mamount died, I saw just how big it was. She was in Opp, Ala when she passed and it seemed as though the entire town was shut down as we celebrated her life and said our final "I Love You's".

Trust me, no family is perfect and love cannot cover wrongs but in your heart its a vivid reminder that there's always hope and that somewhere out there someone shares your bloodline. While we cannot pick our family members( and some days I do wish I could change some members), I know each person that surrounds me, LOVES me in their own way.

Many thought I relocated because I was running behind a guy( a different blog for a later day) but that in itself was a LIE. I relocated so that I could LOVE me better. Once I learned to LOVE me better, I was able to heal, forgive and LOVE my family better. Now, when I say I LOVE YOU it comes from a sincere place in my heart. It comes from a place that has accepted being alone so I could embrace all the new love( yup children too) that would surround me once I found Me.

Yes, its easy to love and it's even harder to let go. To some, the Holiday Season is when you embrace the ones you LOVE... you appreciate them, love on them, hug them, share stories and reflect on memories. It's about remembering the LOVE you have for everyone whether they are close by, you see them everyday, far away or just a memory.

Though my Aunt will still be with us, I'm choosing to let this Thanksgiving be a reflection to ME of the person she IS~ hard working, loveable, loud( in a good way) funny, lover of fashion, always wore a tight short hair cut and jeweled out. I am going to visit her, its just a matter of understanding that, although I LOVE her, her contract will soon require a dotted line and I must be okay with that.

To my two cousins who call her Mom, nobody can or will ever replace her. But know, my mom is on her way along with our other Aunts and let them be your source of strength and allow them to comfort you.. Love you Aunti Linda and it's okay if you must sign the line. You've served God, Your Family, carried out your duties as an Elks Member and Eastern Star. Get some rest, you deserve it!


Signed,
A ReFreshed LOVE~