Reflections...

New Color Alert!! Short & Sassy

Happy New Year Gals and Guys,


I hope your 2018 has started off on a good foot. Do not lose your momentum, keep going. The prize awaits and you cannot get it by becoming discouraged..


It's been a while since I've shared some of my inner most thoughts. I figured, why not today? The truth is, life is hard. And if you don't pay attention, it happens extremely fast. You'll look up and find that you've wasted so much time and have nothing to show for it( personally or spiritually). You're judgement will become frazzled and you'll start questioning yourself and decisions you've made.

I promised myself for 2018, to be absolutely honest with myself, about my truths and walk with God. 

For starters, the last quarter of 2017 was the worst. My grandfather died, I relocated and cancer took the life of a very special little girl that I cared for. Not to mention all of the other "STUFF"  associated with living. My eyes were opened to people but they TRULY opened when it came to examining myself.. I was living but I wasn't living. I was consumed with being a good mother, keeping bills paid and ignoring who I KNOW I was called and destined to be. You ever have that feeling like, " There has to be more" and while feeling there's more, you're smiling and celebrating others walking into their more and then there's you? No, seriously...

The decision to leave Georgia was somewhat bittersweet. I didn't see it in the midst of packing and crying because I was still trying to compromise. If I do this, I can then do this and this will happen. But it was bigger than me compromising. It was bigger than being angry at the situation. It was the turning point of a new level of learning and grace that I needed to experience.

The death of my grandfather still truly hasn't hit me and I honestly don't think it ever will. My grandfather was an amazing man. And although he was my grandfather, it wasn't until the last year or 2  of his life, that we began to talk more. Now don't get me wrong, Spiritually he was absolutely the best but personally we lacked in the bonding area. In March of 2017, I went back home for business purposes. I had made arrangements to stay at a hotel but something inside of me screamed, " Cheneka stay with your grandparents".. I'm glad I listened to that voice. A few short months later my grandfather transitioned. I knew in March, he wouldn't be around much longer and I'm forever grateful for those 2 days I spent with him and my grandmother. We ate the best Chinese food and every night while there he and I talked. The 1st night we talked until we both became tired. He said, " Are you sleepy", I responded "YES". He said I was waiting for you to get tired so we both could go to sleep. We laughed, I kissed him and walked into my bedroom. The next night we talked about life, my dreams, my kids and plans for the future. As I type now, tears are falling. Not because I'm sad but because I made a decision that allows me to sleep peacefully at night. Had I not stayed there, I'd be an absolute mess.  

Death is the reminder that all things do not last forever. However, memories do.  I'll forever, hold my grandfather close. 

The more we live, we learn. The more we learn, we're better equipped to make sound decisions. Life will have you feeling like you've failed. It'll even make you question decisions you make. Trust me, always be honest with yourself about everything. You know your truth and you need to live it and walk in it daily. 

The 1st few weeks in Alabama were a complete drag. I was busy working and volunteering and as much as I hated it, my soul needed it. The thing about being a Single Mom, Alpha Woman; to some degree you have to always be in control and know what's going to happen next. My first few weeks, I had no idea of what would happen next. I ws just living. Truth is, I wasn'y just living. I was resting. Not in bed, eyes closed resting. I was emotionally, spiritually and financially resting.  Few people truly understand the weight mothers carry when you're single. It's not always easy. Ive said it before, there's nothing like a mother's love. And even at the age of 38( 39 in a few weeks) being here with my Mother has been nothing but absolutely love. Yes, she cooks alot of red meat( which we do not eat.. Smile Mom) but just being under the same roof with her has been what I've needed. I'm thankful.

Decemeber, was another blow. Most of you may or may not know, I ran a very successful Nanny/Sitter Service in Atlanta ( KISS, Kid Inspired Sitter Services, thinking about launching an Alabama KISS, stay tuned). I was afforded the opportunity to care for the Kwon twin girls, Sareon and Diem. Sareon and Diem were diagnosed with Autism a year into recieving KISS services. Mom and Dad always kept me in the loop and we were always coming up with plans on how to help the girls. I'll forever be grateful that they trusted me enough to care for them. June 2017, Diem was diagnosed with childhood cancer. I visited her shortly after he 1st surgery. My heart ached. That was my baby too, laying in the bed at Atlanta Children's hospital. We continued to check in with updates. I'll forever, respect their mom Aloni to the highest regard because she always kept me informed. The night before Diem took her last breath, I was able to talk with them and see that pretty face. I'll never erase from my memory her mom saying, "Our baby is dying"... Diem died, Christmas Eve morning, 8:45 am. Rest peaceful Diem Monroe Kwon, age 5. 

Motherhood, not the easiet task but someone has to do it...

As January comes to an end and February awaits, next month I will turn 39!! Where is time going? I remember turning 18, 21 ( losing my 1st child), 25 (awaiting the birth of Chelia the following month), 30 and celebrating with  the guy I loved and wanted to marry.. Milestone ages and memories. What will 39 bring?

As I reflect, I also I look forward to the future with anticipation and readiness. I'm ready for all the good that will come my way. On December 31st, i put into the atmosphere marriage.. I've been single for over 4 years. Come on Jesus and do it for the kid( if it's your will).. and if not, I'll keep on living,  striving and becoming.. 

The Saga continues..

Signed,
Simply Cheneka

The Wonder of a Woman....

Mother's Day has come and gone... Back to hustle and bustle of motherhood... I must admit, I marveled in how great Mother's Day was this year. It was all of the small things that mattered most this year. As I've grown, I realized it's not always about the gifts. They are just an added bonus to the Thank You's and appreciation received on that day. 

 It's so ironic how everything falls into place though. 

I was told by a sister friend that I have amazing super powers. I mean, to raise my kids and to help nurture other people's kids, there must be a few unknown powers I carry within. And I think I have figured them out. I carry: Love, Peace, Joy and Understanding!!! And the greatest of them all is I Love Jesus and he loves me!! 

His Love makes way for my Peace. Yes, I run around on empty some days but I'm not a ticking time bomb. I have my right mind even when I feel the world is not working in my favor... 

The wonder in a woman.. We're full of amazement, humor, love, energy, gifts and tons of other things that gives us strength to keep on moving.. 

Some days I wake up with the S on my crown and the S on my chest. You wonder how I do it?!! It's the God given ability given to the strongest women. You want strength? Ask him, it's Yours!! 

So when you think you can't do it, You want to give in? Remember, you carry a strength that only God gives to his strongest.. You are indeed, Wonder( of A) Woman!! 

This year, my family and friends finally acknowledged my strength and power and made me WonderWoman!! 

I'm forever grateful.... Motherhood definitely is not for the weak!! #iWin 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka... Aka Wonder Mom 

The Strength of a Woman

I'm tired. I mean tired but when you're a Single Mom, business Owner, work outside the home and still have to find time to live just a little; you find that there's not enough time in a day. 

Today was a day used for lots of thinking, some tears and time with God. I'm learning to not only Pray but to just talk to Him to because he's always listening. 

My truth is::: I carry a lot stress. While I've learned to cover it up, sometimes I just have to get it off my chest. My biggest stress as a single mother is equally giving my time to my daughter and my son. 

Another issue I'm carrying well and hiding is this whole single life. It. Makes. Me. Sick.. 

It's easy for people in a relationship to say it's not all that it's cracked up to be but to an outsider it's everything. I believe in my heart that there are still a few things I must learn in this season and though it's hard, I'm trusting the process. 

Parenting::: oh it's hard. I love my babies to no end but sometimes, after I've been their ear all day, I need an ear too. I spent a good 2 years beating myself up because I have 2 children by 2 different men( it's a cycle that I pray will not repeat with my daughter and son. The buck stopped with me. If I have anymore children, HE will be my husband). I cried for a good year and then it registered, God did not put me in this situation to fail, I've had to learn it, believe it and take  the lesson and share it. 

As I walked( met my step goal tonight, 8500 steps), God reminded be, " Be still

And wait on me". I yelled a little, cried a lot and by the end of my 2 miles, I was at peace. 

I have various playlists that I listen to while walking. Tonight's playlist was everything my heart needed. "They that wait on the Lord, shall renew their strength"... "Go ahead and spread your wings"... Because, "You're Everything to me, Everything...."

My Lovies, tonight as we prepare to rest: Believe with everything in you that God has you. He hasn't left & he won't.  Just when you feel that you can't make it, he's already working it out. Rest well in knowing, he's he's protecting us. 

It's okay to cry, just know that when you're done, wipe your tears put your big girl panties on and keep it moving. It won't be this way forever. I hope my truths inspire you to accept your truths... 

Signed, 

Cheneka's Simple Truths 

My Pushers...

Anyone who truly knows me know that Chelia and Matthew mean the world to me. Parenthood has its ups and downs but for the most part each day I rise to the occasion. I question how my life has turned out at times but in the scheme of things, the 3 of us were destined to be a family( and I'm confident in knowing our little family will soon be complete). 

Some big things are about to take place in our lives. With the 1st being my return to school. As I rearranged my wall art tonight, I added pictures from our family photoshoot this summer. My children are my motivation to keep striving for excellence. I have to set the standard for each of them to model. Each morning I wake( after I pray) I will look at their faces. At night while I study and prepare for the next phase of lives I will look at them. 

For my daughter: We may fall babygirl but we get back up. We never ever quit. Sometimes, we have to travel alone and that's ok. The goal is to work hard at everything you set your mind to accomplish. Sometimes you have to stop talking about it and be about it. Work hard, play later. 

For my son: Always strive for greatness. Defeat is not apart of our vocabulary. We will always keep trying until we succeed. Just because life throws a few curve balls our way, we will still proceed with the plan. Always strive for excellence. Work hard, play later. 

My Lovies, 2016 will only be as great as we make it. Set goals and keep them. Make sacrifices, make changes, become better, do better, be honest, be kind, be loving, be In Love, be smarter than your dumbest choice.... Challenge yourself to complete everything you've set out to do.  I'm nervous but for once I'm confident. Confident in myself and where I am right now. I'm ready to soar.. And as long as my little people and a few very special people are in my corner; I got this.. 

Signed, 

Neka T. Speaks 

I listened...

I woke up yesterday with every intention on attending both services at church( didn't happen arrived at the end of 10:30), supporting my Lil Gal in her Aladdin performance at school and doing laundry. Well, my body had other plans for me. As I'm getting older, I'm learning to listen to my body and REST when it says rest. I came home after church, cooked dinner and climbed into bed and closed my eyes. It wasn't my intention to sleep as long as I did but the body spoke. I could hear my children and as long as there was no crying or screaming I knew they were good( if they took showers or not I'm not quite sure.. Shrugs). 

We get one body in this lifetime and we have to treat it with care. There are so many things I still must accomplish, places I must go, people to see etc.. So when it says rest, I listen and rest. When you're a nurturer, you tend to forget about yourself because you're so caught up in caring for others. But we're no good to others if we're no good to ourselves. I must be good to ME 1st and today my body reminded me. 

It's now 3:27am. I have cleaned the kitchen and put dishes away, I vacuumed the floors, picked up all of my son's cars and other figurines, helped Elf on the Shelf Marissa, folded blankets, hung up jackets and sipped on some citrus water( PSA, water is good for you) and now I'm

Back in bed. 

So here's a Sorry to all the things that did not get done today, for once I'm ok with putting off things that can be done tomorrow( which is today). Lol

Thanks to my daughter for stepping up and keeping the house in tact, it wasn't burned down while I slept, so she won! And thanks to my Foreverfriend who reminded me when I'm tired I must rest.. It's now 3:34am and I feel my eyes getting heavy once again. I can probably get in another 3 good hours.. 

TaTa World, Again!

Signed, 

I'm Better 

Relaxation....

I honestly believe I'm incapable of fully indulging in a relaxation day. I went to NC a few weeks ago and my body wouldn't let me sleep late. My routine has been the same for quite a few years now and I think I'm just stuck... 

If I could though, my ideal day off would be spent at a plush masseuse parlor, lunch at J. Alexander and a beautiful autumn walk holding hands with my special guy( I hope he's somewhere reading bc right now, well u know the rest... Lol). I'm a simple kind of gal and it doesn't take much for me to be in my happy place. 

I do attempt to have "MeTime" but sometimes it totally slips my mind. I know as the children get older, I'll have a little bit more time for myself. 

I'm aware of the importance of "MeTime" and it's sorta used to refresh yourself. I know when I'm feeling burnt out and either my Momm, my sistergirl in St. Lou or a few of my closest will remind me to take a moment for yourself and just breathe. There's Peace when you make time for YOU!! 

Up next, Ideal Day off! Who's with me? 

Signed, 

I just need a Day 

Duty Calls

My personal assistant would probably dislike me but she would definitely do all of my laundry, house chores( accept cooking dinner, Mary J told us best, Don't let a woman cook in your kitchen) and the Afterschool pick up for my business and clean the kids' fish tank! 

Some days I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I'm literally all over the place! While I take pride in being able to multitask and the ability to almost be everywhere, a sister gets tired!! Whew!! 

And let's not talk about that 10 gallon fish tank. I remember when I had to move it from the kitchen to the stand. I clearly wasn't thinking bc I filled it and treated it, not realizing I had to move it!! Duh 

I would definitely compensate her greatly. Just knowing it would free up some of my time would definitely help me out a lot. I thought I wanted to be cloned but a personal assistant would definitely suffice!! 

Until that day, I'll continue shuffling it all. I believe it won't be this way for ever. This blog gave me a chuckle and a little HOPE!! Lol

Happy Thursday, 

Signed, 

I'm Free~ 

Whatever Wednesday....

I've been meaning to blog since Mother's Day. This was the 1st year that I didn't have a melt down. Like so many other holidays, it's become commercialized by the amount of money that's spent. This year, #boychild, #girlchild and #niecechild  really made me smile. I know they are young and money is sometimes hard for them to come by( without me giving it to them) but they made it happen. 

When I woke up Sunday, I was beyond Thankful. I received so many messages, cute gifts and phone calls that it made my heart smile on the inside. Not to mention the release I had at church, the ugly cry at that... Whew!! 

 I'm horrible with wearing my feelings on my sleeve but lately I've had a whatever attitude AND not whatever in a negative way. 

More so, I'm ready to embrace WHATEVER is in store for my life. After a few heartbreaks and setbacks, it's so easy to just live life as a hermit, inside a shell hiding. But I refuse to live that way. Who would it benefit? Certainly not me. 

So here's to Growth, wherever this journey is leading us I'm Ready... 

Motherhood, I Got this and I'm not going to fail NOW. 

To Relationships, if you give I'll give. I'm able, open, willing and ready. 

To Success, it's not stopping with just KISS, whatever is brewing I'm ready to pour.. 

And to life, oh it's been a turbulent ride. Some days high and some days low. But it's definitely made me into the Woman I am today. 

So my lovies, Whatever this Wednesday throws your way, good or bad don't take it laying down. Somethings aren't always a fight. Some are mere gifts that are just God's way of reminding you that it's ok and HE has you.. Live and Let Live. We'll never know until we look whatever the fear is in the face and say, "I'm Not Scared".. No Fear here. 

Signed, 

Living My Life Like its Golden! 

Parental VS the Kid... ( check point)...

A little over a month ago, I celebrated my 36th Bday. One month to the date later, my daughter turned 11 and next month my son will turn 4. We're just busy celebrating birthdays over here. 

Now that my daughter is 11, the conversations we have are more in depth. I've never been one to hide anything from her but I've shielded parts of my life from here. Why? Because outside of being their mommy, Cheneka exists. You know, the person I was before Motherhood. Motherhood has consumed so much of my life that I literally had to take a step back and find ME. 

Slowly but surely I've started to and it feels absolutely GREAT. I blog more, get my hair done every week( the compliments I get on my hair alone make me feel like a million bucks) I make time for friends, I started back working out and I'm just all Round happier. 

Trust me, the process wasn't easy. Almost 2 years ago we went thru a huge transition in our household. My kids went from a 2 parent home, to a home solely ran by me. While I never skipped a beat and I kept the outside appearance together, inside was a battle. The typical Whys, Hows, tears and frustrations overtook me. My kids never saw me sweat, never saw me cry. I did yell every now and again( all parents do) but I never exploded. 

I took a lot of time for me ( or so I thought). I became overly involved with my kids and my business so that I did not have to face what was going on inwardly. 

And one day I woke up. Although it's the three of us, I'm still me. I'm still young and above all I'mm&ms absolutely beautiful. 

Today my lovies, I challenge ALL of my single parents to do something for you. Meet new people, get a hair cut, change your hair color, workout.. Wait.... Those are all things that I've done ( or am doing) and it feels great. 

We have the power in us to be happy and move on but we 1st have to be in a good space to do so. While our children will want us to themselves, we still have to find ways to be ourself. We all existed before parenthood and we will surely exist once our nesting years are over. 

I love my kids with everything in me BUT I'm learning to love me a little more. In doing so, it makes me stronger! 

Signed, 

Stronger, Wiser and Winning!! 

I'm a BEAST at Both....

Nothing Personal... 

Had I been warned that at 36 ( yup in 13 days) I'd be a single Momm, running a successful business, Co-Founder of a Women's Organization and soon-2-be Published Author, I would've laughed and said, " Not Me".  The way I envisioned my life and the way it has played out has been nothing less of a best selling biography. Full of lessons learned, tears, highs & lows, smiles and growth. Smiles: let me tell you why I smile. Chelia and Matthew bring me joy. I'm smiling and feeIing like crying at the same time lol. Smiling because I look at them and regardless of how they've entered this world, they bring excessive amounts of happiness. Crying because it's hard some days raising them alone but there's an unexplainable amount of strength and courage deposited into my life daily. I look at them and know, I cannot lose. I may quit( in my mind) but the way my reward is set up, I keep going. 

Some days, I have moments where I want to scream and yell because this is not how life was supposed to be. Then there are other moments where, I put on my Super Momm cape and keep it moving. Just like we groove to our fave song, which by the way I'm digging Jasmine Sullivan's "Masterpiece, Mona Lisa", we groove and maneuver through life. 

Yes it's hard but we can do it. 

I think of my business and the families we serve. The phrase, "we attract people who are like us", is extremely true. While KISS serve 2 parent families, a majority of our clients are single moms. Just like me, they are Rising and Grinding. There's no room for the weak when you're a Mom. 

Today, I challenge all of my readers, followers and mommy friends to keep going. Don't give up. Motherhood is personal but business never is. 

Keep striving and pushing. I've learned that as hard as it is, it's also rewarding. To know that MY experiences as a Momm are helping me to help other Momms through my Business is a gift that I never asked for but I appreciate it daily. 

Ok guys ( thank you to my guys who support my blogs) and gals, saddle up and let's tackle this Tuesday.. 

Signed, 

Motherhood Ain't for Sissies

Simply Stated...

I haven't blogged in what seems forever. I thought with it being Summer Break, I'd have more time because I'm not being pulled every which way.... So much for thinking. My daughter left to go visit her father in Boston for a few weeks. I can't even began to tell you how hard that was. This is the 1st time in 9years, that she has been away from me for such a long period of time. My Mooda Pie is my little BFF, my partner, my fashion consult and more often than not, she's my photographer( I take lots of pictures on Sundays because that's the one day of the week I get to look super extra cute)... I MISS her so. She has texted me and called but its not the same as seeing her big beautiful eyes, her smile and those dimples!!! I miss her dancing off beat and her creativeness. My mind tells me, " Go get her early" but in actuality I know she deserves to spend time with her father and his family. I hate feeling like I have to share her but this is definitely what it has boiled down too. Sharing my Mooda Pie...

Up next, my Son!!! This little dude has surely stepped up his game in the drive mommy crazy arena. He's 2, I get it BUT boy oh boy was I NOT prepared for a son. My mother constantly tells me, "he's a boy, that's what boys do"... If I could say it with no feelings of remorse, I'd yell "SHUT UP NETTA". lol But I'm not that crazy to disrespect my Mom( although thinking it is the equivalent to saying it)..  How ironic, just as I'm writing about her, she calls. I love that woman. She's said to me more times than once," if you feel like we need to ride and get Li just let me know". My Netta girl, my other ride or die partner.

Let's see, Oh yeah I got braids!!!! Me with my big ole water apple head like Gina from Martin, got braids. I must admit they are cute though and I'm all for the cuteness. Lol

Weigh loss!!!!! Whoever knew it was such a challenge. But I'm motivated to keep going. I love the feeling I get when I complete my 2/3 miles. When I push myself to finish in lesser time than my last walk/run! There's a feeling that comes along with accomplishment and I'm riding the waves baby!!!!!

I'm trying to avoid rambling so I'll end it now..... But Simply Stated, life is good. I have a few days that are bad, more that are good, serve a God who Loves me despite of my mishaps and a family that loves each other more than a little bit. I have sister friends who have had my back, who listen and are not judgmental and that makes it all worth the while....

So here you go Nek. You blogged!!!! Yes I did and it feels Great!!

Tata Lovies

A Time to reflect.....

I've been in Georgia going on three years.. Wow, I made it. I know that many people thought I wouldn't make it and that I'd go back home BUT the night we packed up the car and the last of my shoe boxes were packed onto the moving truck, I bid a goodbye to the East Coast and I'll see you when I see you...

Up until the week I transitioned from Boston to my Mother's house, I was still working as a Youth Worker for the City of Boston. Not only was I doing my Youth Work but duty called for me to wear my Post Traumatic Grief hat as well. We were called into Dorchester to help the family and the community deal with the senseless slaying of a young mom to three small children. She was shot in the head upon returning from choir rehearsal( her home church was literally around the corner). She was killed in front of her 3 young children, steps away from her grandmother's porch. I had dealt with a number of murders, some being close( children right from my program) however, this one hit me quite differently. I too am a mother. for about a week or 2, leading up to the funeral and burial we provided services and support to the family. Helping others in their time of need has always been my call in life. We helped with the basic PTS needs of the family( helping them grieve, setting them up with counseling, connecting them with the Louis D. Brown Peace Institute and the final step, contacting a funeral home and receiving money from the Victims of Relief Fund( if needed).

This young mother had alot going for. You see, what the media feed the community is not always the truth. We sat with her family hours on end just talking about Yanna. Not only that, but she was friends with my cousins and her children's father was a friend from high school. Up until the day of the service, we were readily available for the family with any thoughts, questions or needs they had.

Upon my relocation, I vowed to keep in contact with the family and I have kept my word.

As reflect on my journey and the twists and turns it has taken, its becoming full circle and I'm appreciating the woman I always was just didn't know how to fully embrace.

I'm sure you've heard the phrase, " To whom much is given much is required", that has rang in my ears for a number of years now and yesterday as I sat and listened to my Pastor teach/empower/preach I had an "Ahhh Haaaa" moment. Like I previously stated, I'm embarking upon my 3rd year in the good ole state of Ga and I can count on one hand how many people have been to visit or check up on my family and I. I must admit, it hurt because you know how people say, "Oh I'll keep in touch" and they never do?? It kinda put me in a position where I said, " the hell with me running to Boston". But, as God's words thru Pastor Murph were spoken, He said( and I quote) " The Lord is with YOU and he did not bring YOU this far to leave you".. He also said, sometimes its not that people don't care but they know deep down that you're okay and that you'll be ok. When the favor of the LORD is upon you, you're already protected. So, don't become upset when people are not checking on you, it's okay because God's favor is already upon you... WHEW, that spoke volumes to me and my life.

So, as I've taken moments every now and again to reflect on MY life, I can honestly say, It's been all good!! May not have everything I want right now BUT I have everything I NEED. As I keep growing, living, serving and selflessly giving of what I have, my time and talents my blessings are closer than I could EVER imagine.. It's funny, I always knew what I was meant to do in life was bigger than me being in Massachusetts and I'm thankful that I stepped out of my comfort zone into the unknown. It's been a tough ride some days but all in all the ride has been smoother than I could imagine~

Take sometime to reflect, you never know how RICH you truly are until you stop and just say Thank you....

Signed,
I'm Rich....

I Ain't Gon Lie

I Ain't Gon Lie

It's hard...
You want to tell me when life hands you lemons to make lemonade..
Tuh,
How about making a $ out of 8 pennies..
Pay a light bill when rent is due,
Tell a child you don't have it and mean it because you don't..

( shrug)
I believe in taking the high road in every tough situation.
Stick it out, it'll get better.
The best is yet to come just hold on...

I'm holding on put the rope is thin,
I'm holding on but I want to give in..

It's hard...
Taking care of everything without a break in sight..
Wake up tired, trying to find rest when you're tired.
It's a win lose situation
But I was told quitting is for losers so I'm going to keep on striving

It's hard...
Making it where nobody knows your name
And everyone is out trying to gain just a lil' bit of fame.

It's hard...
Struggling within myself to find myself,
Struggling to stay afloat when sometimes I could really just jump off the boat..

But I Win,
I win
I win
I win

It's an uphill battle
But someone has to do it
I gotta make it to the top
I gotta show my babies that thru it all, living your life is worth the fight

It's hard..
But I'm going to stay on my knees
When I'm praying I'm refueled
When I'm refueled I'm stronger
And when I'm stronger
No matter how hard it is
No matter how many times I'm told no,
There's a YES waiting for me and I must carry On~