Just Slow Down......

I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I was when I first moved to Atlanta. I was going to take this big City on like nobody's business. I had so much to prove. I had to prove I was good enough, I wasn't going to fail AND that I could make it.

Fast forward to today. As I sat and took time to reflect, I'm so thankful that after I realized I had nothing to prove to anyone, life became simpler and easier. Once I realized the only people I had to prove anything to was God my father ( and all I really have to do is Love & serve him) and my children, everything that was supposed to happen started to happen.

Yes, I took a few " L's" but they were just setting me up for the ultimate Wins.

I will celebrate 8 years in Georgia( Lord's willing) this November. 8 is the number of new beginnings. I've declared this year's mantra " I will not lose & Whatever is meant for me will not pass me by". I believe that with every ounce of life in me. Our lives are not a race. It doesn't matter when you arrive to the finish line, it just matters that you don't give up in the process and that you make it.

I wanted to be the 1st in my family to do a lot of things but as I lived and became a mother, other things became important and I realized that it IS important that I become my children's 1st.

I challenge you to stop and take your time. You want to build an empire? You can, there's no rush. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was the world. God took his time forming each and every creature. He took his time forming the sun, moon and stars. He even took time to rest. So when your body speaks, take heed and listen.

As quick as I want to be done and live a quiet married life some where with my amazing husband, I have to first build, date and marry. Can't get to the end result without working the middle.

I challenge you to work the middle, work your right now. Don't give up, slow down, make adjustments, make changes, become your best YOU.

Don't rush to just get done, you'll miss the lessons and strength you'll need in between.

Signed,
Simply Living, Simply Learning, Simply Cheneka

Don't be They...

Every year, I found an excuse as to why I did not celebrate my birthday. I used to look to friends to help me celebrate but it just never really happened. Then I started blaming it on, I wanted to make sure my kids had great birthday celebrations.


When I turned 35, that was my last real celebration. Shame on me. I would buy and receive great gifts but to actually set time aside and celebrate, I was failing. Failing myself, failing to thank God for a new year at this thing called life.  I became that friend who celebrated everyone and disregarded myself.

As I worked on my vision board for 2017, I made personal declarations and promised to celebrate myself THIS year. My sister friend then in turn reminded me, " They will only celebrate you as much as YOU celebrate you". That comment opened my eyes and made me think reallllllll HARD. I had become my own they. They didn't acknowledge me because I didn't. They didn't offer to celebrate with me because I didn't celebrate me.

The "theys" in our life play two roles. They will either push you or they will talk about you. Life is teaching me, they only care because they want to see you fail or they are pushing you to be great.

Which they are you? I've learned, the immediate theys won't celebrate because in so many ways, YOU have become the competition. You have become the " they" that's determined to make it.
You have become the " they" that they fear: Sucess.

There's room for everyone to make it. And the ones who really care, will in turn turn around and help pull you up with them.

Today, I challenge you to not become a victim to they. They only care when it benefits them. They only care because of what you can do for them. Let that mentality stop today.
Celebrate you. Celebrate your highs and lows. Celebrate your successes and failures. We celebrate failures because it's teaching us how to make it into a win.

One of the worst places to be is in between. In between a career/ job change, in between seasons, in between finding your place and giving up. But in that place, still celebrate. Find strength and even encourage yourself. They won't, so what! It's your place to do it.
Celebrate when you are right now because tomorrow, you won't be where you are now.

Signed,
They won't kill me, Simply Cheneka

It's NOT always a downpour

"When it rains, it's not always a downpour. It's just enough to water your ground and give you strength"- CTH 

I pick and chose parts of my life I share with you all. Not because I want anyone to think I have it all together but sometimes I keep it in my resevior to strengthen me when I feel weak.. As bad as I want to cry at times, I find more strength and courage in just writing and sharing. My prayer is ( always) Father give me strength, bless me with your favor and anything meant to do me harm, block it.. 

I've grown in this role as single parent ( yay) but this role as a single black woman.... Ughhhhh 

It's not that I crave intimacy, sometimes( like today) I just need a male to walk me thru the issue. Ok, I'm having car issues!! Lol

I'm grateful for a mechanic who comes to me; in his words, " babygirl, I'll keep your service fees low if I come to you because if you come to the shop I'll have to charge full price".. I can dig it. But when he's using mechanical terminology, I'm totally 199 percent lost! As he repaired the diagnosed issue, we soon learned there was another issue. I wanted to cry because sometimes, as a woman that's my first comforting instinct. But the Holy Spirit comforted that uneasy feeling and reminded me, " it could be worse, you have an umbrella to protect you".. I still have 150 other thoughts running thru my head but if nothing else I have to trust that no matter what, it's not a down pour, my life will not end, the day will get better AND everything that's been promised to me will still come to pass. Yes, I'll have to make adjustments for this week but you know what? It won't stop me. 

My Lovies, I encourage you to keep looking up. Continue embracing the positive. Sometimes the things we want/ crave so bad are not within our reach because it's just not our time. When there's something I want but can't have right away, I've learned that, it's not that it wasn't for me, it just wasn't my time. 

And just like that, my mechanic called me back with the correct diagnosis, and he'll meet me at my house to get it squared away!! See, it wasn't a downpour!!

Once again, God looked out for the kid!! 

Signed, 

Simply blessed Cheneka!! 

The Wonder of a Woman....

Mother's Day has come and gone... Back to hustle and bustle of motherhood... I must admit, I marveled in how great Mother's Day was this year. It was all of the small things that mattered most this year. As I've grown, I realized it's not always about the gifts. They are just an added bonus to the Thank You's and appreciation received on that day. 

 It's so ironic how everything falls into place though. 

I was told by a sister friend that I have amazing super powers. I mean, to raise my kids and to help nurture other people's kids, there must be a few unknown powers I carry within. And I think I have figured them out. I carry: Love, Peace, Joy and Understanding!!! And the greatest of them all is I Love Jesus and he loves me!! 

His Love makes way for my Peace. Yes, I run around on empty some days but I'm not a ticking time bomb. I have my right mind even when I feel the world is not working in my favor... 

The wonder in a woman.. We're full of amazement, humor, love, energy, gifts and tons of other things that gives us strength to keep on moving.. 

Some days I wake up with the S on my crown and the S on my chest. You wonder how I do it?!! It's the God given ability given to the strongest women. You want strength? Ask him, it's Yours!! 

So when you think you can't do it, You want to give in? Remember, you carry a strength that only God gives to his strongest.. You are indeed, Wonder( of A) Woman!! 

This year, my family and friends finally acknowledged my strength and power and made me WonderWoman!! 

I'm forever grateful.... Motherhood definitely is not for the weak!! #iWin 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka... Aka Wonder Mom 

Pretty Wings

I remember this just like it was yesterday. I was out walk/running and I saw this beautiful butterfly. "She" was down. I watched her for quite some time. It seemed as though she took a hard fall and was trying to get back in her groove. As I stood and watched her fight thru it, I thought of all the amazing women I know. Married, Single, Divorced, Lost, struggling, Abused, Hurt, Confused... I thought of each of you. 

So many times, the cares of the world weigh us down. We take on everyone's issues an we lose our way. 

As I watched "her", she stumbled a few times, even tried to spread her wings but it was premature. She wasn't fully ready to spread her wings. I still continued to " watch".. In a way, I was like the world. Passing judgment on her, somewhat waiting to see her fail again. And let's not front, we know there are people out here who despise our process. 

I digress; I go back to this point because it's so true. Many people knew I was going to fail when I relocated.  They just knew this " butterfly" was going to find her way back home... But where was home? Home will embrace you, push you and support you.  Home, I was in search of home. 

Before I knew it, I had spent a great deal of time watching the butterfly that I'd lost track. What as supposed to be a brisk walk/ run turned into a self examination moment! 

I got my life and continued on my way. But my eyes were still watching her... I got back into my groove and I glanced back to look once again. And this time, the beautiful butterfly finally was able to spread her wings. And hunny, she was beautiful!! 

Today's challenge is to spread your wings. The things of yesterday are there for a reason. Yes it hurt, yes we cried, yes we wanted to give up but you know what? It wasn't time to give up. You have to go through to appreciate the good. Today, appreciate the good. Open your arms and embrace all that's headed your way because when you least expect it, it's going to happen. In life, most things start off ugly. We have to pull back the layers to find the beauty. Today, find Your Beauty.. 

Signed,

My wings are Healed, let me Soar

Not walking away, just going forward...

" Into each life, some rain must fall....."
 I swear, people get growing up all twisted. Sometimes, we have to leave the things of yesterday where they are so that we can move forward into a better 2day. If you're living in mess you will continue to produce mess.. But once you find the courage and strength to step out of your comfort zone and pursue the life that was paved for you, you tend to realize a couple of things
1) The ones who cared
2) The ones who wanted you to fail
3) Your strength 4) your Courage


 Moving into a new direction isn't easy. You'll get the, "Oh, she/he think they better, Who do you think you are, You'll fail and the one I heard more times than one" You'll be back"... SIKE.. Not going back.

Once you've made up in your mind that, I have to do this for me and make it work, by any means necessary you'll find the strength to thrive. When it's your time, there will be nothing or no 1 that can stop you. It may feel like the world is against you, but it's not. You're on a path that was ordained and paved for you when you were conceived. When you crossover into the life you were supposed to live, you'll find that you had to get out of the mess in order to process the BEST.

The doors of yesterday will be sealed tight and the doors of your fresher tomorrow will be wide open, ready to embrace you. We have to let go of those attachments that held us back. It's hard to see what's not good for you as long as you continue to wallow in it. When you put your best foot forward and remove yourself, you'll find that the blessings we're already there you just had to shake it off. So, put on your walking shoes..

Don't wait until it hits the fan for you to walk away and into better.. I challenge each and every person that may read this today to go forward.. Find your most comfortable shoe, and walk in OUT... Walk out of whatever is holding you back and posses the life, dreams and hopes that already are yours, sealed with YOUR name on it!! Make it GREAT~~

Don't Count ME out, Just yet.....

The rule in my house is, no animals on legs that will require me to do more cleaning on top of what I already have. My daughter had a hermet crab named Sebe, but he died within 3 weeks of moving in with us. So, NOW we keep it simple and go with Beta fish. Extremely low maintenance and can go days without being feed( I'm sorry, don't call PETA).. Well, I cleaned Kandi's( ok, so we have a cousin named Cookie, so my daughter said well since Cookie is my cousin, can Kandi( from RHOA) be my Aunt.. I know, xtra) little humble living quarters on Sunday. Since, cleaning it out, she's been swimming towards the top and looking real deathly. I mean, her body was doing that death bend and she just looked lethargic( weird talk for a BETA but it's true). Lastnite I told Mooda, "looks like Kandi is on her way out", she said " I know mommy. Let's just flush her now". I said, "no, let's see what happens. Behold, Kandi is swimming like she now has a new breath of fresh air, a NEW take on life. ( True Story)

I started to think about life and how we count people out. I know people who were drug addicts. When I'm able to sit and listen to them tell their stories I'm amazed at their resiliency to survive. Family members walk out on them, society turns their noses and consider them low lives and the down trodden. Once you realize you've had enough, you find a piece of you that you lost and you FIGHT against ALL odds and come out on top.

No, I'm NOT a recovering drug addict but I've lived through and unhealthy relationship. Your eyes cannot see the negative effects until you're finally fed up and YOU're ready to make that change. If you have children, they become the voice and power you use to do better. It's a good place to find YOU and leave the mess where it is. My downfall during that unhappy place was to eat. I've never openly admitted this but I was at an all time FAT HIGH. I was wearing a 16/18 and tipping the scale at 200lbs. I was MISERABLE. One day, a light went off and I fought for ME and my daughter.

I takes alot to find your voice especially when you're fighting against the hurt, pain and people talking about your situation vs helping you. A smile can mean alot, especially when you've learned to fake it and make it.

5 years later, I'm Kandi this morning. I've fought and now I know I have the strength to fight through it. Losing it all to gain a new insight on life and BETTER relationship with GOD is a reward worth gaining all over again.

So, as Kandi lives to see a new day: As do I and all the people who have been counted out. We're down but only for a while. We carry the strength to SURVIVE against all odds!!!

" I Shall Swim to see a New Day"