Just Slow Down......

I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I was when I first moved to Atlanta. I was going to take this big City on like nobody's business. I had so much to prove. I had to prove I was good enough, I wasn't going to fail AND that I could make it.

Fast forward to today. As I sat and took time to reflect, I'm so thankful that after I realized I had nothing to prove to anyone, life became simpler and easier. Once I realized the only people I had to prove anything to was God my father ( and all I really have to do is Love & serve him) and my children, everything that was supposed to happen started to happen.

Yes, I took a few " L's" but they were just setting me up for the ultimate Wins.

I will celebrate 8 years in Georgia( Lord's willing) this November. 8 is the number of new beginnings. I've declared this year's mantra " I will not lose & Whatever is meant for me will not pass me by". I believe that with every ounce of life in me. Our lives are not a race. It doesn't matter when you arrive to the finish line, it just matters that you don't give up in the process and that you make it.

I wanted to be the 1st in my family to do a lot of things but as I lived and became a mother, other things became important and I realized that it IS important that I become my children's 1st.

I challenge you to stop and take your time. You want to build an empire? You can, there's no rush. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was the world. God took his time forming each and every creature. He took his time forming the sun, moon and stars. He even took time to rest. So when your body speaks, take heed and listen.

As quick as I want to be done and live a quiet married life some where with my amazing husband, I have to first build, date and marry. Can't get to the end result without working the middle.

I challenge you to work the middle, work your right now. Don't give up, slow down, make adjustments, make changes, become your best YOU.

Don't rush to just get done, you'll miss the lessons and strength you'll need in between.

Signed,
Simply Living, Simply Learning, Simply Cheneka

I'm Trust Worthy....

Lessons in honesty... It's Easter weekend, YAY!! Growing up, it was huge to get a new Easter outfit, hat and matching gloves( not the clearest pic but it's me) 

Once I became of age where my voice mattered and I could style myself my way, I became a bit more laid back. My church here in GA is quite amazing because there's no real emphasis put on what you wear. 

In keeping with tradition, I do purchase my little people outfits but they are so laid back because our life is laid back. 

Today as we searched high and low for the perfect converse for my daughter, we couldn't find them. We found a few that I liked and she didn't, we found a few she liked but didn't fit right. The night was drawing near and my body was finally shutting down( I got off work at 6:30 this am), I told Li, "hey, I'm getting tired so if we don't find a pair now, I'm sorry but you'll have to figure it out".. She soon found the perfect pair( but we had to change her entire outfit which was ok). 

We stood in line to pair for her shoes and son's shoes. I didn't pay attention, I just swiped my card and put their shoes in my reusable bag and left the store. As we left out there was beeping but I paid it no mind because others walked out with us. 

As we proceeded back to our vehicle, my gut told me to check the shoes. I'm so glad I did because there was a beeper on them. I pulled out the receipt and to my dismay, the associate did NOT charge me for them but gave me both pair and said I was all set. 

My daughter's eyes became glossy ( and not that I contemplated to keep going) and I too was a bit nervous. We walked back into the store and another associate saw us and said,"come here ma'am I'll remove the beeper".. I said, " wait, I'm back to pay. The other associate didn't charge me". He gave me a look of pure amazement and then offered an employee discount for my honesty. 

My Lovies, we should always practice what we teach our children. I also look for teachable lessons with my little people. Sometimes, it's better for them to see us in action vs us always just telling them. As I celebrate Resurrection Weekend, I'm reminded how much my savior loves me. I'm ever thankful for his life and sacrifice. Because of him an honest life is easy( still have its ups and downs tho) to live... Because thieves hung with him, I do not have to steal... I'm thankful that in every situation, my integrity speaks for itself!

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

And I still Love lemonade...

I have an amazing lemonade recipe that I whipped up one day in my kitchen. I don't drink lemonade that often but when I do, I like to make my own.. 

Lastnight, life served me a very sour glass of lemonade. While celebrating a close sister friend's 37th bday( btw, I'll turn 37 really soon), I attempted to return to my vehicle and it had been stolen! Right out of the parking lot. To make it worse, 3 other vehicles were broken into in that same lot( one right next to me) but they took mine. Out of all vehicles why mine? I mean I ONLY drove a Ford.. Lol 

I'm hurt, I feel violated and I'm so in my feelings right now. It took over 2 hours for the police to come and began the process of filing a report to recover my vehicle, which by the way if my truck IS found I do NOT want it back. 

As bad as I feel right now, my mind goes back to my 1st picture I posted for 2016. I said, I will live where I want to live, I will drive what I want to drive AND I will be married. Who knew by the 8th day of this month I'd be in this position. 

Last night as my sissy waited with me, I said you know I'm going to blog about this and you know I'm going to drag this county and their police department through the mud. But once I got home, cried and got my life together, I knew it would be absolutely wrong to act in that manner. It's not my character. 

My Lovies, as I figure out my next move( auto insurance contacted✔️, bank I'm financed with contacted ✔️), I'm reminded that the things we put into the atmosphere have a weird way of working on our behalf. Yes, I'm a little sad but I'm

100% confident that this is an absolute set up for something amazingly GREAT~ 

I'm beyond blessed to have an amazing group of sisterFriends who have already come to my rescue. They've let me cry and vent and they are walking me through it. Today, I challenge you to be open to allowing others to help you.. It doesn't make you less than during your time of need. It makes you receptive to others being a blessing to you.. Let me get out of this spot and go make a fresh pitcher of my amazing lemon/ lime mint lemonade. I can taste it now and it's going to be oh so great.. Yup, I still LOVE lemonade!! 

Signed, 

Neka T. Speaks

Lessons

I was once told that I write best when I'm hurt. Today, I beg to differ, I write the best when I've learned a lesson. Personal lessons are definitely ones that stay with you the longest. 

I was reminded that Life is the ultimate teacher. Each lesson comes with a small price to pay. Some lessons are valued at a penny and others, there's no value equivalent to the lesson you learn. 

 Today, I learned that it's more important to value yourself than to expect someone to acknowledge your worth. We're worth the truth and no lies, we're worth more than Im sorry and I'll do better. 

As I shed a few tears today, for once they did NOT come from a place of pain but a sincere place of closure. I'm a natural born fixer but I'm learning that I cannot fix everyone and everything and I have to be okay with it. I do know, the lessons I've learned in these past 2 years have not been all bad. 

I've learned to stand alone and be okay with it. I've learned the energy I produce will be the energy I get back. I've learned that no matter what in the end, I have to be okay and happy with me 1st before I can help anyone else experience happiness.. 

They say when a woman is quiet you should be worried.. I've learned that it's better to be quiet than to be a babbling fool.. Everyday my son reminds me, " Mommy be calm, it's ok" and for once I embraced and welcomed the "Ok".. 

Signed, 

Just another Lesson 

It's harder than you THINK...

Life is a daily struggle. If you haven't yet found that medium in your life that gives you the strength to balance it all, you will surely drown.
I try not to relate much of my past to my blogs but sometimes, its the easiest way to describe how and what I feel. I've learned, while yes my road is different than yours and sometimes we take different routes HOWEVER; somewhere our paths will intersect and we will eventually face some of the same issues.

I listen to the stories of many of my married friends, dating friends and single ones and we ALL echo the same sentiments. Parenting is HARD.  I can only speak for myself but even with having support its still tough. A Father will never understand the full involvement and the level most of us mothers make where parenting is concerned.
YES, I get it. Most fathers play the role of a disciplinarian, while some are non-existent. Then we have another group of fathers who leave everything to the mom and then complains when we shut them out. Really dude, what do you want from us?
Honestly, the way many of us parent is similar to how we were raised. And although we try to break the cycle, it tends to come back until we have completely figured out how to break it. I have 2 bff's. One grew who with an involved dad and the other one grew up with a part time dad who was on drugs. Today, as grown women, we all relate because at some point we became mothers and our fathers were not there completely. It was a constant struggle for me not to repeat my cycle with my daughter. I never talk in full detail about relationship with my father. It's been rocky to say the least but  know he loves me. I stayed in a relationship to provide stability for my daughter( or so I thought). In the end, I had to find my voice and take the path that would better not only me but give her a better picture.
I listen to the stories of so many sister girls who are going through it with the fathers of their children. Should our children have to suffer because of the decisions we made? No, they shouldn't. A Father should be a father no matter WHAT. I was good enough for you to lay down and roll in the sheets with me, now let the love we once shared be good enough for you to properly love the child we made together.
There are so many horror stories my sisters are dealing with. Absent fathers seems to top all the list though. YES, they can be absent while physically present too.
Is this a blog to bash Fathers? Not at all, it's a blog to salute the women who still sow respect for the fathers of our children even when it's hard.. It's a blog dedicated to the fathers who are fathering without being told to do so.. It's a blog dedicated to the fathers who have stepped up to help children who are not theirs. Its a blog to the mom, who works 40+ hours a week and goes to school at nite, It's a blog to the mothers who won't give up on their child even though society has kicked them out of programs and labeled them.
I LOVE my children and nothing can change that. But sometimes, even through the smile, its harder than you think.
So, don't judge the mother at the bus stop with 3 kids running around acting a plum fool. At least she still has them and they are not wards of the state.

Signed,
A mom in her feelings today~