And we say Goodbye...

Yesterday evening was quite entertaining to say the least. Like always girlchild and boychild had a disagreement but it ended differently this go round. My son decided because of lack "RESPECT", he was going to run away. He packed his bookbag with his toothbrush, pajamas and all of his treasured hotwheels cars( he has about 100).

Once I noticed what he was trying to do, I stopped what I was doing and I got on his level and talked to him. "Son, I would be extremely sad if you left how would you survive"? For every question I asked, his 6 year old little mind had a formulated, well thoughout answer, even down to his survival mechanism and his way of escape( calling uber).

Once I got him settled and unpacked, we sat together and watched a few of his favorite shows together.I reminded him that he's loved and I would be heart broken if he left.  I left the living area and retreated to my room. Aha peace & quiet. As the night settled, I went back into the living room to check on him and he had fallen fast asleep on the couch holding his tablet.

This morning, I woke early. It was quiet and during those times its when God speaks to me best. After I prayed, I began to think of all the men and women I know who pack up and run. They run from responsibilities, they run to get away from people, they run to avoid issues, they run from change. The list goes on and on... Why is it so easy to run? What in life is so hard to face? As I replayed the disagreement between my children, my son ran because he felt my daughter didn't respect him. I thought, he's 6 what does he know about respect? And it hit me, he knows enough in his mind when he's not being heard and valued. He knows enough to leave a situation where he's not ok. How many people do we know who do this? I can name a few. Hell, if we're honest we can all see a piece of ourselves in bad situations where we decide to leave.

And like a ton of bricks, it hit me.  As adults, we say goodbye prematurely without fully thinking it through. And because of that, in turn pass the "Goodbye" trait to our children.  I know during my transition from Boston to Atlanta, I kept reminding myself I wasn't leaving out of fear but I was leaving what was familiar to branch out and see what else the world had to offer. Yes, there was some hurt assocaiated with it but 8 years later, I can honestly say it was for my good 100%..

(Figurtively speaking) Had my son left, it would've been extremely hard for him. There was no bank account attached to his uber app, he had no food, no money and he didn't attempt to talk it through. THAT'S exactly what adults do.

So my lovies, today I challenge you to no longer clamour up but face those goodbyes. Face those hard places, Face your fears, your hurts, misunderstandings and even lies that may have been told on you or even to you. I've learned, in order for me to be WHOLE, I had to and have to face issues that I would so much rather avoid. Is it to rehash old wounds? Not at all. Who really wants to pull a scab off  a sore? Not me BUT if its going to corrct the issue and allow for the proper healing to take place, I'm for it.

After my AHA moment, I had to face a goodbye this morning. Did I want to? Not really. did it cause an uprorar, slightly but it did open the door for healing and peace. This adult life isn't all that bad once you bagan to face goodbyes, live a life of honesty and truth and allow the rivers of peace to flow in your space.

We're only as WHOLE as the last goodbye we didn't allow ourselves to heal from. Broken still works but only when you've found a way to put yourself together again, stronger.

This road isn't always easy but there's always a lesson... Don't say goodbye if it can be fixed. Only say goodbye and mean it when it will no longer affect you...


Signed,
The page has turned~~

Just Slow Down......

I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I was when I first moved to Atlanta. I was going to take this big City on like nobody's business. I had so much to prove. I had to prove I was good enough, I wasn't going to fail AND that I could make it.

Fast forward to today. As I sat and took time to reflect, I'm so thankful that after I realized I had nothing to prove to anyone, life became simpler and easier. Once I realized the only people I had to prove anything to was God my father ( and all I really have to do is Love & serve him) and my children, everything that was supposed to happen started to happen.

Yes, I took a few " L's" but they were just setting me up for the ultimate Wins.

I will celebrate 8 years in Georgia( Lord's willing) this November. 8 is the number of new beginnings. I've declared this year's mantra " I will not lose & Whatever is meant for me will not pass me by". I believe that with every ounce of life in me. Our lives are not a race. It doesn't matter when you arrive to the finish line, it just matters that you don't give up in the process and that you make it.

I wanted to be the 1st in my family to do a lot of things but as I lived and became a mother, other things became important and I realized that it IS important that I become my children's 1st.

I challenge you to stop and take your time. You want to build an empire? You can, there's no rush. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was the world. God took his time forming each and every creature. He took his time forming the sun, moon and stars. He even took time to rest. So when your body speaks, take heed and listen.

As quick as I want to be done and live a quiet married life some where with my amazing husband, I have to first build, date and marry. Can't get to the end result without working the middle.

I challenge you to work the middle, work your right now. Don't give up, slow down, make adjustments, make changes, become your best YOU.

Don't rush to just get done, you'll miss the lessons and strength you'll need in between.

Signed,
Simply Living, Simply Learning, Simply Cheneka

The Promise STILL stands..

Today my Lovies, remember whatever you've   been promised will come to pass.. 

Do you believe that the right music can change your mood and even your outlook on certain situations? This am as I drove my son to school "Better" by Hezekiah Walker played. While I drove my daughter to her doctor's appointment, it played again. After I dropped her to school, ole school Winans brothers and Anita Baker blessed me with, "Ain't no Need to Worry".. 

Just listening to those songs, my entire life was encouraged. 

The funny thing about Promises, they may not happen right when we want them or expect them. They will happen in perfect timing. As I reflected on some of the Promises promised to me, my heart smiled and I was reminded just as Rome wasn't built in a day, neither were promises made to happen in a day. 

Gosh, my soul is encouraged today. My pity has turned into a praise because my promises are enroute! 

I challenge you to reflect on your promises and remember the ground in which it was built on. It may seem a little shaky now but as you( we) become strengthened as will the ground!! I'm excited.. The Promises are on their way. Let's get ready!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka

Lessons in Honesty...

Vacation is FINALLY coming to an end!! Bless God who sits high!! I must admit, this one on one time I've had with my son has been quite entertaining. He's an inquisitive old soul in a young body and he's a lot like me, with paying attention to people's words. 

My children and I are very close and I talk to them with complete honesty. I want them to always trust me and know I have their best interest at heart. My daughter has shared with me on numerous occasions that she wants to see me happily married. We indulge the conversation and we move on. Who knew all along that little Matthew Ashton IS attentively listening.. 

New Year's Eve, we were in 1 of our favorite stores Old Navy. As we stood in line, Matthew was holding this really cute bracelet. He kept saying, " Mommy this is  your wedding gift". I responded with, "Awe, thank you son" and continued to move along in line. The gentleman in front of us turned around and congratulated me and I said, "if I knew who my fiancé was I'd tell him you congratulated us". We both laughed. The line was a bit longer than usual so I gave son my phone to watch videos. 

We finally made it to the register, I paid and we left. As we drove home, my son says, "Look mommy here's your wedding gifts". I turned back to look and not only did he have the bracelet but he proceeded to pull earrings and a ring out of his jacket pocket. I was absolutely shocked. I mean, I know the woman wears something borrowed for the wedding but never anything stolen. I immediately took the items from him

And told him that stealing is never ever ok. His facial went from happy to sad and confused. A moment that was intended to be sweet in his mind turned into a life lesson. We. Do. Not. Steal. Ever. Period. 

I explained to him that when its time for mommy to get married that he along with his sister and my future husband can go into the store and purchase mommy a gift together but we're never to steal anything. When we steal it makes mommy sad and police become involved. 

I assured him that he's still my favorite little guy and we prepared ourselves for NYE church service. 

After we finished errands today, I told him, "Son were going into old navy and you're going to return these items. He said, "Mommy that will mean they know I stole them", true enough but we're honest people and we do not steal I reminded him. 

We walked into Old Navy hand in hand and I asked for the manager. I was directed to her location and I explained that we were here to return items that my son stole. She was shocked and almost in tears as Matthew handed her the items and apologized. She looked at me and said you're an Awesome Momm and God Bless You. We quietly left the store but I could hear her telling the people in the store and a few said wow, that was noble. 

My Lovies, let this year be the year where were held accountable for ALL

Of our actions. Let's be people of intergrity and honesty at all cost. 

Today's lesson in honesty will serve as a life lesson for my son! 

Signed, 

Neka T. Speaks 

WHAT?!!!! Ohh, ok!!

"Gossip and innocent Sistergirl chit chat are 2 different things, in life know the difference"

"Yes girl, I'm telling you"... That exact phrase can go so many ways and the messed up part about it is, when it means no harm but is made into something so deathly where you start hearing and seeing subliminal messages.

The heart does not lie. And if you're truly in-tuned with yourself, yours will tell you instantly when you have said or done something wrong. 

A few weeks backs, I repeated something to a close friend, that spiraled out of control. Did I mean harm by it? Of course not. But was it taken out of context? Absolutely YES. And I felt it instantly. But I never thought it would hurt as bad as it did. And let's not front, we've all been in situations where what we thought we were protecting or coming from a good place, went completely down hill. 

We live in an age where being in a "clique" or feeling accepted is the norm. I've met some great people on my journey. Some I know we're sent for me to learn a specific lesson and some were sent to help me become better in many areas of my life. 

I digress; when I started KISS there was a team. We were building KISS together from the ground up. We were both family oriented women and we both were ready to step out and make KISS work. However, life's changes would have our journey together to shift and that's ok. 

In all things, God knew the course that each of our lives would take and it's worked out for both of our good!! #noHardfeelings

Just like with Sistergirls and friends. Some are meant for the long haul and some just merely for a season. But what hurts the most about seasonal relationships is when they end prematurely because of misconstrued words. 

I remember growing up. I wanted so hard to be popular. I mean, I was a cheerleader and we all know cheerleaders are cute and popular. I had to learn the hard way by making my own bed hard that everyone will not like you and it's ok. Learn to love and accept yourself for who and what you are. 

Now that I'm an adult, I've learned rather than be in the middle go to the source. That's a hard lesson that many of us have not learned. 

My Pastor back home always said that if we think our brother or sister have an ought against us that we should immediately go to them and fix it. I always hear those words and when my heart tells me I'm wrong and I've hurt someone I'm big enough to 1) apologize and 2)explain myself when my words have been misunderstood. 

Today, I'm stronger because I have finally grasped that concept. It's definitely been a matter of growth and maturity for me. 

Even in my personal life; I've learned not to attack with my words but come from a peaceful and loving place. So if that means to step back from the situation until I have the right words I do just that. Who wants to feel disrespected and hurt in any relationship? Surely not I. 

Will we make mistakes with our words and actions? Absolutely because we're human and not 1 person is perfect. I mean, we all aim for perfection but it just doesn't happen. And let's not get caught fooling ourselves with the thought that we are. Because hunny, that fall is going to hurt more than you'll ever know. 

I make mistakes

I'm human

I Love

I Forgive

 

And the best part about making mistakes is that even when people want to hold grudges, not talk to you for clarity and send subliminal messages, God truly knows your heart. 

Today will be a good day. I will get passed this feeling that I have. Each day, there's a lesson to be learned. It's just a matter of seeing the material, understanding it and applying it to your life. 

I challenge each of you, be strong, be confident and stand by your Words. If you're hurt, talk it out. You never fully know a person'a intent until you talk to them.

Signed,

No Harm meant, ILY

Telephone Love..... #NOT

      "Don't talk about it, Text about it..."
Although it may seem like a tad bit of humor, if you sit and think about it, there's truth to what you're about to read...






                                 

Ring, Ring, Ring... The way I'm feeling it can just ring!! I understand why I like to text and NOT talk... There's more drama than a little bit with that thing called the telephone.

 My daughter got her 1st cell phone. She kept asking, Mommy, can I have such and such phone number. Mommy how do you text.... Mommy, mommy, mommy!! I looked through her phone, she had already texted, her Godmom/cousin, Me and her Bff ( and called her Grandmother(my mom) I was like gurl, you're fast!!! LOL

 Then, I thought about real life and how conversations are miscontrued, people's feelings get hurt and how conversations become yelling matches. Sheesh, one would think. Isn't a phone used to keep in touch, share love and laughter??

I pick up my phone and the 1st thing I do is check my text. I leave VM unchecked and miss calls unreturned( unless I REALLLLLYYY need to return the call or talk to you). I'll tell you a secret( don't judge me), sometimes I'll look at the phone, see who's calling and not answer. And don't call from a blocked NUMBER, yup you go un answered!!! LOL

 Growing up the telephone was my best friend.. But after a while, I found there was always drama with it. Especially when that 3 way calling thing was big. I swear, some conversations were true set up... But, how true of a set up? Because, if you're big enough to say something, you should be big enough to repeat it right? NOT, for some that's the hardest thing to do. But, I can finally admit... I'm grown and if I said it I'll admit it. If it hurt your feelings, hmmmmm depending on the situation I could have meant it and then again, the person could've took what I said and used it against me but for their potential gain. Get my drift??

 In life, we all have our ships to sail. Bad weather will definitely make it hard BUT if we persevere there's no reason why it can't be easy sailing. If you have my number, do YOURSELF a favor and text/email me... I'll be quick to respond and if you can look past my typos( i'm still learning my iPhone) then we're good... But that telephone thing, if you're not calling to bare good news/ or sometimes bad, then.......... Leave a message~

Your Own Giants

Giant, adjective: having extremely large size, proportion, or power



I'm guilty..
I've found myself on the line of judges others. And don't front bc we all are guilty. The good thing about guilt, it will do one of 2 things, Convict you of your wrong doings or pacify the truth. I can recall being a Jerk as a young Adult. If you didn't like what I said, then oh well, You're wrong and not me. Man, did it hurt when it finally hit that, the world is made up of different people, ideas, dreams etc.. This was MY giant that I had to defeat... JUDGING.

There will be many obstacles we will face. There will be people who will always disagree with what we say as well. The joy in Freedom of speech is that, its what and how I feel. Disagree if you must, it's your God given right. But, don't assume its a lie or a tweaking of what YOU feel is Your truth. That is YOUR Giant and don't transfer how or what you feel into negative thoughts.

As a race we can be such Kill Joys. When situations occur that we cannot control, we seem to find ways to make the other person look bad by defaming their character.
When will we learn to face our own Giants?
I've learned/still learning, people will question and assume the worst before seeking out what truly works. Our experiences will differ and some will be the same. It's all a matter of showing Respect.Our demeanor says alot about us.. What is yours saying?
My demeanor speaks volumes for the person I was and the person I've become.
I'm learning to stand up to my Giants and face them one day at a time!