Hurt people MUST Heal....

My time in Huntsville has finally come to an end. It’s been filled with lots of lessons and above all Patience. I’ve wanted to jump the gun on many occasions and leave but a block was placed each time until NOW. I couldn’t appreciate the blocks when they were there but now..... Whew! I’m better because I had to pick them up and learn the lesson while removing the sting of being here.

This morning as I’ve read through 4 years worth of blogs, I can honestly say I had to come thru Huntsville. In my early 30’s, I dated someone from here. I even intended to move here at some point. Who knew life ( GOD) already knew I’d come thru this place and it would NOT be with Mr. September!

As I reflected on life and my growth, I’m thankful for each person I’ve encountered. I’m thankful for the relationships that have truly lasted a lifetime and I’m even thankful for the ones that have been brief, for there was a lesson more than anything else.

I must say, while in HSV I’ve encountered a lot of hurt and broken people. Just recently, I was told of a conversation that was had about me. I’m sure it was meant to break me but it truly made me laugh and work harder towards my exit plan.

I believe we have to hear things in order to process how people truly feel about us. I’ve been called many things but to hear “ you ain’t shyt” was low....Whew that’s an all time low. And while I could’ve chose to blog about many things, I just want to end the year on this note.

It’s okay to seek HELP! There are so many people who are walking around bleeding out on others because they haven’t found ways to stop their own bleeding. In turn, they lash out hurtful and insensitive words because that’s all they know. They respond with hurt because they’ve been hurt.
They’re negative and even a bit selfish... if nothing else, I’ve learned now more than ever; we cannot carry the hurt and baggage of others. And if we continue to stay in that type of environment we’ll conform.

I like a good Challenge. So my lovies here goes,
I challenge each of you finish 2019 with dropping baggage that isn’t yours. Drop words curses, remove friendships/ relationships that are toxic, leave dead end jobs that will not produce growth and LOVE YOURself like only you can.

Life happens extremely fast. Do not let another 10 years pass and you’re  still in the same cycle. BREAK it! Only you can change what you do not like and only you can decide when enough is enough!

If you don’t know, you now do!

ChenekaT the Blogger is back!

I’ve laid low for a while to rebuild, refocus, rest and renew. Sometimes we have to be strong enough to admit we need a little help but we also have to know when we’ve gotten all we can and it’s time to STAND again!

It’s Wednesday and guys we’ve made it. You’re better than anything that’s trying to hurt you and tear you down! Believe it!!!

Take time to heal... and in healing it doesn’t always mean making old relationships new again. To heal  means to pull off the band aids and let fresh air hit the wound. If we keep covering it up, we’re not breathing thru it. We’re not acknowledging it. We’re aware but we haven’t tackled it.

Fight thru for your happiness and work even harder to heal your hurt. You’re no good to anyone if you’re 1st no good to yourself!

Thanks everyone who has been on this 2 year journey with me while in HSV. It’s time for me to get back to living!!

Sincerely,
The Blogging Queen,
ChenekaT

Reflections...

New Color Alert!! Short & Sassy

Happy New Year Gals and Guys,


I hope your 2018 has started off on a good foot. Do not lose your momentum, keep going. The prize awaits and you cannot get it by becoming discouraged..


It's been a while since I've shared some of my inner most thoughts. I figured, why not today? The truth is, life is hard. And if you don't pay attention, it happens extremely fast. You'll look up and find that you've wasted so much time and have nothing to show for it( personally or spiritually). You're judgement will become frazzled and you'll start questioning yourself and decisions you've made.

I promised myself for 2018, to be absolutely honest with myself, about my truths and walk with God. 

For starters, the last quarter of 2017 was the worst. My grandfather died, I relocated and cancer took the life of a very special little girl that I cared for. Not to mention all of the other "STUFF"  associated with living. My eyes were opened to people but they TRULY opened when it came to examining myself.. I was living but I wasn't living. I was consumed with being a good mother, keeping bills paid and ignoring who I KNOW I was called and destined to be. You ever have that feeling like, " There has to be more" and while feeling there's more, you're smiling and celebrating others walking into their more and then there's you? No, seriously...

The decision to leave Georgia was somewhat bittersweet. I didn't see it in the midst of packing and crying because I was still trying to compromise. If I do this, I can then do this and this will happen. But it was bigger than me compromising. It was bigger than being angry at the situation. It was the turning point of a new level of learning and grace that I needed to experience.

The death of my grandfather still truly hasn't hit me and I honestly don't think it ever will. My grandfather was an amazing man. And although he was my grandfather, it wasn't until the last year or 2  of his life, that we began to talk more. Now don't get me wrong, Spiritually he was absolutely the best but personally we lacked in the bonding area. In March of 2017, I went back home for business purposes. I had made arrangements to stay at a hotel but something inside of me screamed, " Cheneka stay with your grandparents".. I'm glad I listened to that voice. A few short months later my grandfather transitioned. I knew in March, he wouldn't be around much longer and I'm forever grateful for those 2 days I spent with him and my grandmother. We ate the best Chinese food and every night while there he and I talked. The 1st night we talked until we both became tired. He said, " Are you sleepy", I responded "YES". He said I was waiting for you to get tired so we both could go to sleep. We laughed, I kissed him and walked into my bedroom. The next night we talked about life, my dreams, my kids and plans for the future. As I type now, tears are falling. Not because I'm sad but because I made a decision that allows me to sleep peacefully at night. Had I not stayed there, I'd be an absolute mess.  

Death is the reminder that all things do not last forever. However, memories do.  I'll forever, hold my grandfather close. 

The more we live, we learn. The more we learn, we're better equipped to make sound decisions. Life will have you feeling like you've failed. It'll even make you question decisions you make. Trust me, always be honest with yourself about everything. You know your truth and you need to live it and walk in it daily. 

The 1st few weeks in Alabama were a complete drag. I was busy working and volunteering and as much as I hated it, my soul needed it. The thing about being a Single Mom, Alpha Woman; to some degree you have to always be in control and know what's going to happen next. My first few weeks, I had no idea of what would happen next. I ws just living. Truth is, I wasn'y just living. I was resting. Not in bed, eyes closed resting. I was emotionally, spiritually and financially resting.  Few people truly understand the weight mothers carry when you're single. It's not always easy. Ive said it before, there's nothing like a mother's love. And even at the age of 38( 39 in a few weeks) being here with my Mother has been nothing but absolutely love. Yes, she cooks alot of red meat( which we do not eat.. Smile Mom) but just being under the same roof with her has been what I've needed. I'm thankful.

Decemeber, was another blow. Most of you may or may not know, I ran a very successful Nanny/Sitter Service in Atlanta ( KISS, Kid Inspired Sitter Services, thinking about launching an Alabama KISS, stay tuned). I was afforded the opportunity to care for the Kwon twin girls, Sareon and Diem. Sareon and Diem were diagnosed with Autism a year into recieving KISS services. Mom and Dad always kept me in the loop and we were always coming up with plans on how to help the girls. I'll forever be grateful that they trusted me enough to care for them. June 2017, Diem was diagnosed with childhood cancer. I visited her shortly after he 1st surgery. My heart ached. That was my baby too, laying in the bed at Atlanta Children's hospital. We continued to check in with updates. I'll forever, respect their mom Aloni to the highest regard because she always kept me informed. The night before Diem took her last breath, I was able to talk with them and see that pretty face. I'll never erase from my memory her mom saying, "Our baby is dying"... Diem died, Christmas Eve morning, 8:45 am. Rest peaceful Diem Monroe Kwon, age 5. 

Motherhood, not the easiet task but someone has to do it...

As January comes to an end and February awaits, next month I will turn 39!! Where is time going? I remember turning 18, 21 ( losing my 1st child), 25 (awaiting the birth of Chelia the following month), 30 and celebrating with  the guy I loved and wanted to marry.. Milestone ages and memories. What will 39 bring?

As I reflect, I also I look forward to the future with anticipation and readiness. I'm ready for all the good that will come my way. On December 31st, i put into the atmosphere marriage.. I've been single for over 4 years. Come on Jesus and do it for the kid( if it's your will).. and if not, I'll keep on living,  striving and becoming.. 

The Saga continues..

Signed,
Simply Cheneka

Lessons...

LESSONS.....

I've learned that many of life's lessons cannot be found in the classroom nor in texts books. Some of the most amazing lessons come in the form of living. Once you've mastered living for a living, nothing else will matter.

I consider myself to be a great writer and sometimes I use one word to describe what I'm going through/feeling. It's never a dig at anyone, it's actually me revealing my truths in the form of living through words. Although most of my day is spent helping others and being mom; my best lessons come in the way my children and others respond to me.

One of the most valuable, learn to appreciate yourself and the journey. We're all wired differently. Some of us WILL change the world, while others will help others to see the good in the world. The goal is to help someone else along the way. I used to think, what I shared didn't matter. I mean, I was never sharing in hopes of getting people to notice me. I share because I've learned alot during my 38( well really 28 years because the 1st 10 years I wasn't fully aware of who I was) years of life. Then one day it happened. Someone shared with me, they found strength and hope through my words. In MY words I thought?

Then a still voice said, "Why NOT your words"?? Whew, I then knew it was bigger than just sharing but it was imperative that I live what share.

Life has taught me, in all things remain truthful to yourself. I mean, God already knows so do your part by living a life that's always acceptable and pleasing. I'll admit I thought it was important to be a people pleaser. But oh when I realized what they thought or even think of me doesn't matter; the chains that held me were broken. At the end of the day, NO 1 truly has the power to judge. Yes, we live in an overly opinionated society but the truth is, your lessons and life will not mirror that of anyone else.

Your journey,

Your life,

Your lesson,

Your story.. PERIOD

I've been feeling the need to remind myself and others your best life is the gift of life itself. Live and learn

Learn and share

 Be okay with how some lessons turn out, you'll understand why the more you live.

Here's my last and final truth for the night... ( i think)...

I've been single for quite sometime now, ok a few years lol... Am I tired of the single life, hecks yeah BUT the lesson in this isn't for me but my daughter and son.

The lesson for My daughter: I can't allow her to see numerous men walking in and out of my life. I'm her teacher and what I live she will mirror. I'm living with her in mind all the time. No, I'm not teaching her that women do not need a husband, I'm teaching her to wait until HE seeks you.

The lesson for MY son: Women are priceless( he asked the meaning of priceless today ) and because they're valuable they are never to be mishandled. I cannot allow him to see me being mishandled as it'll give him the wrong idea. I'm teaching him, chose one and give her you're all.

Lessons.. Never stop living and you'll never stop learning.

Signed,

Cheneka the Teacher

And we say Goodbye...

Yesterday evening was quite entertaining to say the least. Like always girlchild and boychild had a disagreement but it ended differently this go round. My son decided because of lack "RESPECT", he was going to run away. He packed his bookbag with his toothbrush, pajamas and all of his treasured hotwheels cars( he has about 100).

Once I noticed what he was trying to do, I stopped what I was doing and I got on his level and talked to him. "Son, I would be extremely sad if you left how would you survive"? For every question I asked, his 6 year old little mind had a formulated, well thoughout answer, even down to his survival mechanism and his way of escape( calling uber).

Once I got him settled and unpacked, we sat together and watched a few of his favorite shows together.I reminded him that he's loved and I would be heart broken if he left.  I left the living area and retreated to my room. Aha peace & quiet. As the night settled, I went back into the living room to check on him and he had fallen fast asleep on the couch holding his tablet.

This morning, I woke early. It was quiet and during those times its when God speaks to me best. After I prayed, I began to think of all the men and women I know who pack up and run. They run from responsibilities, they run to get away from people, they run to avoid issues, they run from change. The list goes on and on... Why is it so easy to run? What in life is so hard to face? As I replayed the disagreement between my children, my son ran because he felt my daughter didn't respect him. I thought, he's 6 what does he know about respect? And it hit me, he knows enough in his mind when he's not being heard and valued. He knows enough to leave a situation where he's not ok. How many people do we know who do this? I can name a few. Hell, if we're honest we can all see a piece of ourselves in bad situations where we decide to leave.

And like a ton of bricks, it hit me.  As adults, we say goodbye prematurely without fully thinking it through. And because of that, in turn pass the "Goodbye" trait to our children.  I know during my transition from Boston to Atlanta, I kept reminding myself I wasn't leaving out of fear but I was leaving what was familiar to branch out and see what else the world had to offer. Yes, there was some hurt assocaiated with it but 8 years later, I can honestly say it was for my good 100%..

(Figurtively speaking) Had my son left, it would've been extremely hard for him. There was no bank account attached to his uber app, he had no food, no money and he didn't attempt to talk it through. THAT'S exactly what adults do.

So my lovies, today I challenge you to no longer clamour up but face those goodbyes. Face those hard places, Face your fears, your hurts, misunderstandings and even lies that may have been told on you or even to you. I've learned, in order for me to be WHOLE, I had to and have to face issues that I would so much rather avoid. Is it to rehash old wounds? Not at all. Who really wants to pull a scab off  a sore? Not me BUT if its going to corrct the issue and allow for the proper healing to take place, I'm for it.

After my AHA moment, I had to face a goodbye this morning. Did I want to? Not really. did it cause an uprorar, slightly but it did open the door for healing and peace. This adult life isn't all that bad once you bagan to face goodbyes, live a life of honesty and truth and allow the rivers of peace to flow in your space.

We're only as WHOLE as the last goodbye we didn't allow ourselves to heal from. Broken still works but only when you've found a way to put yourself together again, stronger.

This road isn't always easy but there's always a lesson... Don't say goodbye if it can be fixed. Only say goodbye and mean it when it will no longer affect you...


Signed,
The page has turned~~

I chose Victory....

I remember always thinking, when I have children they'll have their father's last name, they'll have this, they'll have that. All because I do not carry my father's last name.

Did it effect me as a child? Sure it did. Did it define me as an adult? No it did not. 

I remember growing up always remembering things from my childhood that were always not good. Yes I had fun as a kid but to me, it wasn't the fun that other kids talked about. 

Did it effect me as a child? Sure it did. Did it define me as an adult? No it did not. 

One of my biggest lessons, biggest spiritual breakthroughs came in the form of forgiveness. Yes I've heard many people say, you have to forgive so You'll heal. While that maybe true, I soon learned not only do you have to heal but you also have to forgive yourself so that you can move one.  

I know, why are you forgiving yourself? You're forgiving yourself because, if you're anything like me, you carried the weight of not feeling good enough. You carried the weight of being mad at yourself, you carried the weight of whatever was done against you. 

It's so second nature to carry extra baggage when you don't have too. We pick it up and it becomes part of our genetic make up. We carry being the victim almost like its a badge. 

I was hurt

I was ignored

I was talked about 

I was laughed at

I was judged

I suffered.....

You become tired of it but you don't know how to drop it. You want to smile but you lost it being mad at yourself because of how someone made you feel. 

When and how do you take back ownership of your own life? You forgive yourself and cut the excess  off! Is it hard? 

Yes it's hard.

Will it be easy? No it won't. 

But will it be worth it?  Yes it will. 

My lovies, let today be the day you chose YOUR victory. Let today be the start of something new for you. No more self pity, no more blaming, no more carrying the weight of the world. Carry your own stuff, that's all you're fully responsible for anyway. 

Join me in choosing, VICTORY!! 

Signed, 

Simply Forgiven, Simply Victorious, Simply Cheneka 

Just Slow Down......

I cannot even begin to tell you how excited I was when I first moved to Atlanta. I was going to take this big City on like nobody's business. I had so much to prove. I had to prove I was good enough, I wasn't going to fail AND that I could make it.

Fast forward to today. As I sat and took time to reflect, I'm so thankful that after I realized I had nothing to prove to anyone, life became simpler and easier. Once I realized the only people I had to prove anything to was God my father ( and all I really have to do is Love & serve him) and my children, everything that was supposed to happen started to happen.

Yes, I took a few " L's" but they were just setting me up for the ultimate Wins.

I will celebrate 8 years in Georgia( Lord's willing) this November. 8 is the number of new beginnings. I've declared this year's mantra " I will not lose & Whatever is meant for me will not pass me by". I believe that with every ounce of life in me. Our lives are not a race. It doesn't matter when you arrive to the finish line, it just matters that you don't give up in the process and that you make it.

I wanted to be the 1st in my family to do a lot of things but as I lived and became a mother, other things became important and I realized that it IS important that I become my children's 1st.

I challenge you to stop and take your time. You want to build an empire? You can, there's no rush. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was the world. God took his time forming each and every creature. He took his time forming the sun, moon and stars. He even took time to rest. So when your body speaks, take heed and listen.

As quick as I want to be done and live a quiet married life some where with my amazing husband, I have to first build, date and marry. Can't get to the end result without working the middle.

I challenge you to work the middle, work your right now. Don't give up, slow down, make adjustments, make changes, become your best YOU.

Don't rush to just get done, you'll miss the lessons and strength you'll need in between.

Signed,
Simply Living, Simply Learning, Simply Cheneka

Don't be They...

Every year, I found an excuse as to why I did not celebrate my birthday. I used to look to friends to help me celebrate but it just never really happened. Then I started blaming it on, I wanted to make sure my kids had great birthday celebrations.


When I turned 35, that was my last real celebration. Shame on me. I would buy and receive great gifts but to actually set time aside and celebrate, I was failing. Failing myself, failing to thank God for a new year at this thing called life.  I became that friend who celebrated everyone and disregarded myself.

As I worked on my vision board for 2017, I made personal declarations and promised to celebrate myself THIS year. My sister friend then in turn reminded me, " They will only celebrate you as much as YOU celebrate you". That comment opened my eyes and made me think reallllllll HARD. I had become my own they. They didn't acknowledge me because I didn't. They didn't offer to celebrate with me because I didn't celebrate me.

The "theys" in our life play two roles. They will either push you or they will talk about you. Life is teaching me, they only care because they want to see you fail or they are pushing you to be great.

Which they are you? I've learned, the immediate theys won't celebrate because in so many ways, YOU have become the competition. You have become the " they" that's determined to make it.
You have become the " they" that they fear: Sucess.

There's room for everyone to make it. And the ones who really care, will in turn turn around and help pull you up with them.

Today, I challenge you to not become a victim to they. They only care when it benefits them. They only care because of what you can do for them. Let that mentality stop today.
Celebrate you. Celebrate your highs and lows. Celebrate your successes and failures. We celebrate failures because it's teaching us how to make it into a win.

One of the worst places to be is in between. In between a career/ job change, in between seasons, in between finding your place and giving up. But in that place, still celebrate. Find strength and even encourage yourself. They won't, so what! It's your place to do it.
Celebrate when you are right now because tomorrow, you won't be where you are now.

Signed,
They won't kill me, Simply Cheneka

Sometimes!!

I have attempted to blog everyday since Friday.  I know, just plain SAD,,,
In my heart I had so much to say, each title had life but my mind and body reminded me that, " Gitl, you gotta work so you must rest". I'm sure each of you can attest to just having a lot to do. That has been my life these last few weeks. My Assistant on me like " Cheneka, check your email", my Accountability sister reminding me to take it easy but get stuff done, my business/ Women's org partner reminding me we have work to do, my children and my undying commitment to them and above all: my Father reminding me, " what's meant for you will not pass you by, WORK Cheneka"!!

I made up in my mind that I'm not losing this year but in the process I must pace myself, not take on more than I can handle because easy does it.

Whew! We need those reminders from time to time. As women, we sometimes think we must carry the world on our shoulders. We don't have too.

This weekend was a reminder for me that, it's okay to utilize the people I consider my village AND allow the other parentals to do they're part.

Just because I've carried many loads on my own, that's not the way God would have it be. And I, Cheneka need to understand this load isn't mine to bare alone. And I release, I release various fears I've carried, worries and my new mindset is let everything else go. My mantra and mirrors in my house remind me daily, " I will not lose and what's meant for me will not pass me by".

In a few weeks, I'll turn 30 for the 8th time. 30 again, lol
I kid, I'm happily embracing 38! There are people who did not and some who will not make it. If it's

God's will ( and wholeheartedly I believe it is) I will wake up wiser, stronger, more determined and cuter on 2/16. 2017 came in so nice, calm and well thought out for me.

No losing and no settling this year. I'm here for the risks, I'm here for the adventures, I'm here for the challenges and more I importantly I'm here. I'm here to be me, unapologetically and freely me...

Simply Put,
Simply Cheneka

Snatched Hunni...

I swear, I have friends who I laugh with, cry with, be petty with( although I'm mostly the petty one and I pull them in) pray with, grow with.. I mean my circle of sisterfriends IS quite amazing.. I know for sure I'm no easy pill so if they've been around longer than 5 years, they're the real MVP lol! 

It's funny, they each play a specific role in whatever season I'm in. Yesterday, my Sissy and I talked about a number of things. Threw out a few why's and we even tried to come up with some solutions. We spoke a few of our heart's desires and then the petty came in.. Lol

Listen, I don't know about y'all but 40 is soon knocking at my door. Although it's hard to believe because I try to keep myself together; it hit me, I need to be Snatched & Prosperous by 40. I told my sissy, "You just gave me a blog".. As I sat and I pondered what does Snatched really mean? Is it having the small waist, make up being on point, hair down my back, nails together?? To me, Snatched is what YOU feel it s for your Life.. I can walk around in a pair of leggings but if I have a little lip gloss on, eye liner on these 2 here eyes and some mascara then Hunni I'm together.. If my undergarments doing their job and holding certain things in then yup I'm snatched. I must admit, body alteration is the way some of us chose to go.. But if you just take a few minutes and walk/ run/ drink water instead of koolaid then you're well on your way.. 

And the PROSPEROUS part!!! Listen, I promise Father you can trust me! I mean I've fooled over my money before but right NOW today, You can trust me!! Yup, I'm going to tithe into my church, I'm going to help the homeless( maybe even open a shelter), I'll invest, sow seeds, remove debt BUT I'm also going to buy a few bags, houses and some shoes.. I mean can't look snatched but wearing shoes from 8 seasons ago! 

I won't go overboard but just enough to match that Snatch!! 

Hey, it's okay to laugh a little but it's even better to declare a few things too!! Ladies I'm declaring SNATCHed and PROSPERITY become my portion.. 

Ang guys, don't get it twisted you too can be Snatched!! 

Just a little blog humor for your Friday!! Enjoy this long weekend and work on being snatched for next week!! 

Signed, 

Simply Snatched Cheneka 

Words Can Heal..

Hey my Lovely followers! I know, it's been a while. I've actually set up a mini blogIG, NekaTSpeaks on Instagram ( go follow if you haven't already)  But it hit me, I have to make time for this spot too. This is where I truly found my voice in the blogging world. 

Here's my truth:: after a lot of hurt, my motto became, " Your words mean nothing, I need action". If a guy said he liked me, whelp I needed him to show it. If a person said they have my back, ok show it.. Whew, thank God I've grown and matured. Although, thinking in this manner is warranted from time to time, sometimes a person's word is their bond and we have to believe it until they show you different.. And when they show you, then you can look for it to show thru their actions. 

I have this friend whom I talk to almost daily. At first it was simple talk, laughing at our kids, talking about relationship woes ( I mainly listened, I'm as single as 1 dollar bill 😂😂😂) and life plans. Then our conversations started to mature. I began to look at this person more than someone who needed an outlet ( because I didn't see it then but I needed an outlet too) but as someone who was growing. We were helping each other grow without physically knowing. 

This person later said to me, " You know your words bless me".. I'm like my words? They responded "YES".. I'm like give me an example..( u know we thrive off of examples lol) they simply said, " I find comfort in your words because they've healed me and given me strength". 

Maybe it's just me but I'm quick to say, " who me" and the response has ALWAYS been, " why not you". 

Today, I challenge you to speak life into someone else. We're all battle with something or another without having to share it with the world. Speak Peace into someone who's battling with inner turmoil. Speak Love into someone who has felt less than all of their life. Speak motivation into someone who wants to give up. 

There is more power in our words than we know. To my followers, I speak an abundance of Happiness, New Beginning,Financial Blessings, fulfillment on your jobs and Peace in your homes. Be someone's balance today. 

Be their safety. 

We have the power in our words.. 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka aka Word Girl.. 

It's NOT always a downpour

"When it rains, it's not always a downpour. It's just enough to water your ground and give you strength"- CTH 

I pick and chose parts of my life I share with you all. Not because I want anyone to think I have it all together but sometimes I keep it in my resevior to strengthen me when I feel weak.. As bad as I want to cry at times, I find more strength and courage in just writing and sharing. My prayer is ( always) Father give me strength, bless me with your favor and anything meant to do me harm, block it.. 

I've grown in this role as single parent ( yay) but this role as a single black woman.... Ughhhhh 

It's not that I crave intimacy, sometimes( like today) I just need a male to walk me thru the issue. Ok, I'm having car issues!! Lol

I'm grateful for a mechanic who comes to me; in his words, " babygirl, I'll keep your service fees low if I come to you because if you come to the shop I'll have to charge full price".. I can dig it. But when he's using mechanical terminology, I'm totally 199 percent lost! As he repaired the diagnosed issue, we soon learned there was another issue. I wanted to cry because sometimes, as a woman that's my first comforting instinct. But the Holy Spirit comforted that uneasy feeling and reminded me, " it could be worse, you have an umbrella to protect you".. I still have 150 other thoughts running thru my head but if nothing else I have to trust that no matter what, it's not a down pour, my life will not end, the day will get better AND everything that's been promised to me will still come to pass. Yes, I'll have to make adjustments for this week but you know what? It won't stop me. 

My Lovies, I encourage you to keep looking up. Continue embracing the positive. Sometimes the things we want/ crave so bad are not within our reach because it's just not our time. When there's something I want but can't have right away, I've learned that, it's not that it wasn't for me, it just wasn't my time. 

And just like that, my mechanic called me back with the correct diagnosis, and he'll meet me at my house to get it squared away!! See, it wasn't a downpour!!

Once again, God looked out for the kid!! 

Signed, 

Simply blessed Cheneka!! 

☔️☔️ Prince....

I've always known who Prince was. I listened to his music, always loved his hair, followed the story when he became the symbol. I even remember when he performed on GMA and they introduced him as the artist formerly known as Prince. I thought to myself, what ever! He's still the same ole Prince. 

I remember being at Essence Festival two years ago and how the Mercedez Dome was purple the entire weekend. He gave an amazing show. I won't say I was a super fan but I enjoyed his music. His talent was amazing.. 

As music lovers are still trying to cope with his death; after viewing Purple Rain LASTNIGHT, I have a renewed appreciation for who he is as the Artist and as a person. 

 

I believe I'm a people person. I like to read them and understand. I believe part of my calling in this life is to help others and to just be loving and understanding. 

As I watched the movie LASTNIGHT, it was in those moments I understood why people spoke so highly of him. Although I'm not 100% sure if it were a true story or not, certain scenes I felt were parts of his life. 

A person can't fully understand someone or something until they've lived and spent the night. Although his character witnessed and lived thru a lot of abuse, it shaped who he was. Many times we live inside shells because we've been hurt, neglected and taken advantage of. 

When we live in abuse, we become a reflection of abuse( to a certain degree). Although I was not to fond of the abuse, I understood it. He mirrored what he saw in his home. His music spoke of his pain and I'm sure it became an outlet

 for him. 

It's ashamed that when we transition from this life, people began to share their innermost remories of us.. I don't have as much as some but watching the movie I felt a closeness to Prince. I understood him. I sang along, Tapped my foot and felt like I was reliving the 80s. .. After listening to Purple Rain LASTNIGHT and truly understanding the words, that's my fave.. Lol 

" I never wanted to be your weekend lover

I only wanted to be some kind of friend
Baby, I could never steal you from another
It's such a shame our friendship had to end"

My Lovies, allow your memories of Prince to forever live. Not just him but anyone you've lost along the way. Memories will forever keep us close to our loved ones. Let's not allow for their death to be the reason we miss them. If they are alive call them, go see them. Let them know you're thinking of them and you love them.. And you might even say, " I would die for YOU"... 

Rest well Prince. Your style, presence and voice was definitely one of a kind.. 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka ~~~~ 

How could you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that's so cold? 

Maybe I'm just too demanding

Maybe I'm just like my father too bold

Maybe you're just like my mother
She's never satisfied 
Why do we scream at each other
This is what it sounds like
When doves cry 💜

But who are YOU anyway....

Last week, I witnessed an acquaintance suffer with mistaken identity.. The sad thing is, in no way did he resemble the actual culprit. It has bothered me for a number or reasons. 

He's a black man and our men suffer enough and two, he now has to explain to others that it wasn't him. This could cause problems for him in the workplace and in his home life. People are so insensitive at times. 

As I pondered on this blog, my mind took a trip down memory lane and I looked at some of my old blogs. I've always considered myself to be a great writer but that "trip" proved a point to me. I'm not the writer I once was. And to attempt to identify myself with the old Blogger, would do me no justice. 

I've grown, matured, lived a little, witnessed a lot and it has molded me into who I'm becoming. My yesterday's identity has nothing on who I become daily. 

The thing about our identity is, as we become more of who God has created us to be, we lose and shed what other's have perceived us to be. 

Learning and becoming my true self has been an amazing journey. I've found my Strength, my Peace. I no longer worry or care about other's thoughts or what they consider to be who I am. Honestly speaking, you can't tell me who I am because I'm evolving DAILY... Whew! We change daily. 

And while we can never change our genetic makeup, birth DNA; we can changed ourselves physically, emotionally and mentally. 

Today my loves, embrace the True you. Only YOU know who and what matters to you. YOU know your truths and your untruths. You know your plans for the future and you know the road you plan to take( unless God throws in a monkey wrench, He's Good for that lol). Live and embrace you. I mean it's YOUR identity at stake.. Be you, be True!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka".... Have I changed so drastically and you've remained the same"... Tamia( Stranger in my House)... 

It's going to work, This Time~

~Sometimes you have to face the music and play by yourself~ JHud"Empire".... 

This morning as I sat to prepare myself to read from my Bishop's book, I didn't know what prayer to read. So I settled on page 37 because I'm 37. It's simply read "Mastermind"... God is the Master and I have the Mind.. #Catchit

Anyone who truly knows me knows that, everything has to make sense. You can't tell me something without backing it.. I live for clarity and understanding. A few weeks ago, I was visiting my parents' church in Huntsville, Ala and their Pastor spoke into my life. I sat there and held my son and dissected every single word he said. Some of it registered instantly while I sat there and some of it, I didn't see the  relevance until NOW. 

In close, his final words to me were, " Its going to work this TIME"... 

Earlier this evening as I reached my step goal and walked the park, I enhaled and exhaled BIG.. Everything I've been praying for all made sense and all I could hear was, "It's going to work this time". 

I've been uncertain about my next few moves( there are things I want to accomplish by 40) and today, I continued to hear, "It's going to work this time".. 

I instantly picked up my pen and started to write. I tend to write my best when I'm full and for once, I'm full. 

I'm full of life, I'm full of possibilities. And I believe everything is working. The good is becoming better and I'm just going to roll with it. The thing about life is sometimes, we have to see beyond the surface. We have to remember the prayers we've prayed, remember God's answer and understand that God cannot and will not lie. He can't, he's God!! 

Tonight my Lovies, believe in your dReams again. Believe that nothing is impossible. Find the strength and courage to believe in you.. The entire world can be against you BUT if God is before you, everything is possible!!! 

Because... 

It's going to work, This Time!!! #ForTheWin 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

New Beginnings..

There's something about midnight.. As I did my rounds in the dorm tonight( and met my step goal, 8542), I was intentional about looking at each piece of art displayed on the girl's hall. 

A few pieces truly caught my eye. But the one posted above was the absolute best. 

I live for new days, clean slates and new opportunities. Each chance I get to make things right, do them over or try another solution is absolutely amazing to me. 

At one point, I had myself fooled thinking I was always right. As I grew, encountered more people and searched my own soul, I soon found out mistakes are just God's way of allowing us to try again. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to Try your best every single day. And when you just can't seem to get it right, pray and hold fast in knowing ( if the Lord's will), you'll get a chance at a clean slate, tomorrow!  

I dare you to start something over, with a clean slate. It's going to feel so good. I'm thankful for the many clean slates I've been given. I live to grow, change, be better and Love harder. Accept what you're allowed to change and what you can't, be ok with knowing you've given it your all! Rest well my Lovies..

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

I'm Trust Worthy....

Lessons in honesty... It's Easter weekend, YAY!! Growing up, it was huge to get a new Easter outfit, hat and matching gloves( not the clearest pic but it's me) 

Once I became of age where my voice mattered and I could style myself my way, I became a bit more laid back. My church here in GA is quite amazing because there's no real emphasis put on what you wear. 

In keeping with tradition, I do purchase my little people outfits but they are so laid back because our life is laid back. 

Today as we searched high and low for the perfect converse for my daughter, we couldn't find them. We found a few that I liked and she didn't, we found a few she liked but didn't fit right. The night was drawing near and my body was finally shutting down( I got off work at 6:30 this am), I told Li, "hey, I'm getting tired so if we don't find a pair now, I'm sorry but you'll have to figure it out".. She soon found the perfect pair( but we had to change her entire outfit which was ok). 

We stood in line to pair for her shoes and son's shoes. I didn't pay attention, I just swiped my card and put their shoes in my reusable bag and left the store. As we left out there was beeping but I paid it no mind because others walked out with us. 

As we proceeded back to our vehicle, my gut told me to check the shoes. I'm so glad I did because there was a beeper on them. I pulled out the receipt and to my dismay, the associate did NOT charge me for them but gave me both pair and said I was all set. 

My daughter's eyes became glossy ( and not that I contemplated to keep going) and I too was a bit nervous. We walked back into the store and another associate saw us and said,"come here ma'am I'll remove the beeper".. I said, " wait, I'm back to pay. The other associate didn't charge me". He gave me a look of pure amazement and then offered an employee discount for my honesty. 

My Lovies, we should always practice what we teach our children. I also look for teachable lessons with my little people. Sometimes, it's better for them to see us in action vs us always just telling them. As I celebrate Resurrection Weekend, I'm reminded how much my savior loves me. I'm ever thankful for his life and sacrifice. Because of him an honest life is easy( still have its ups and downs tho) to live... Because thieves hung with him, I do not have to steal... I'm thankful that in every situation, my integrity speaks for itself!

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

I Bring Peace....

Happy Saturday!! Hey my Lovies, it's been a while since I've blogged. I've been living and not in a bad way. Growing, closing doors and walking through new ones. 

My Friday and Saturday nights are now spent with a new group of kids. I must admit, at first I did not want to get to know these kids. In my heart, they did not compare to my Boston babies. My Boston babies taught me the importance of being a voice, speaking up in the gang ridden communities, fighting for equality, speaking out against minimum wage. 

This new group, they come from money. I mean what could possible go wrong in their families? They have financial freedom? All of that changed lastnight as one of the young men truly shared what was on his heart. 

Have you ever just sat and listened to the youth? Do you take moments to actively listen to them without being judgemental? Did you know they go through it? They get discouraged and they feel that they're talked at and not talked too? 

As my student talked, my heart went out to him. As he talked about his family, I thought of my own families. As he talked about what he feels could work at the school, I thought about how as adults we miss the mark because we think we know it all. 

As it neared the time for him to go to his room, I asked what was his favorite candy. As I spent time with my daughter today, by choice I grabbed a bag of skittles for him. Li asked, "Mommy are those for you"? I responded, "No, for one of the youth at my school".. 

My intent is not to cover up what he feel, not to find answers for his numerous questions BUT to be a trustworthy adult in his life. My intent is to build a bond, be a voice and be balance. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to listen with your ears and stop listening to respond. We get caught up in being adults that we forget we made mistakes and at one point we wanted to be heard and valued. 

Tonight when I walk on campus, I come with listening ears and skittles... 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

Hidden Blessings..

I was absolutely tired this morning when I got off work. So tired that my entire body ached. I knew I couldn't go to bed right away because my mechanic was enroute to fix something small on my truck( which by the way, after I watched him

I could've done the job myself). He was done by 9:30, I was in bed by 10am. My heart was in Decatur at my church but my body was aching and I was restless, literally. 

When I got in at 6:50, I grabbed some clothes and I showered. The particular pants I grabbed, I'd been looking for them for weeks. Not for any reason in particular, they just happen to be my fave Victoria Secret Pink sweat pants. I finished my much needed bath and proceeded to dry off and dress. 

Out of habit, I always stick my hands in my pockets after getting dressed. As I stick my hand in my pockets, I felt a roll. I instantly pulled it out and to MY surprised, there was $45 rolled up in my pocket. I tried to remember where the money could've come from and I kept drawing a blank. All I know, I haven't wore these particular pants in about 3 or 4 weeks. 

Anyhoo, I'll take the $45 for the win! Once again, God has looked out for the girl. This last month or so has been nothing but extreme wins for me! My heart is full and I'm extremely excited for what 37 is bringing my way.. 

My Lovies, surprises/ blessings come in all shApes and forms. Never be so caught up in your own situation that you miss your good thing/ blessings. What's even crazier, sometimes our blessing/ good thing is right up under our nose.. Stop sniffing other gardens and appreciate yours! I'm ready and winning!! I got next! 

Signed, 

Cheneka Wins!! 

Life...

Today was a good day. I was a bit apprehensive but with all things, go in with no expectations and it'll all work out. 

I started my new job. The funny thing, I was nervous as hell but I didn't tell a soul. I mean I'm Cheneka, Cheneka is never ever nervous. LASTNIGHT as I prepared, I changed my outfit like 6 times, worried about lunch( I was starving by 12, I only packed a grapefruit, water and chewy bar), almost cried because I knew I would miss my daughter's award ceremony( how does it work when you 6th grader comforts you about missing HER ceremony, which by the way she exceeded my expectations but hey she's a branch of ME), stressed over my hours( whether I'd make it to Roswell in time to pick up my son) worried about my workload, school and my business... ( which by the way, S/O to my Women's Org Partner LB, for holding KISS down).

But I remembered where the Bible says, "be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication, with Thanksgiving, let YOUR request be made known", Phil 4:6.. I wrote in my prayer journal, made my request known, commanded my day; Power, Love, Grace, Glory & Peace surround me and closed my eyes. 

There's nothing more rewarding that doing what you love. My entire career has consisted of service.. Service to families, babies, mothers, fathers, youth and the community. For the last 20 plus years, I've given of myself to help others and today was just the beginning of a new extension of service. 

I keep reminding myself, "You're here for this", in my Spiritual Life, Personal Life,Business  Life.. I'm Here For This.. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to find your niche and work it/ serve it/ be it/ live it. 

Do it so well that, they'll know it's you before they see your face. I'm excited for this new opportunity, new doors, new gRace and new families. Today, I became.. 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka

Out of the mouths of Boys.... beware!!

I have a 4.5 y/o son. It's never EVER a dull moment with him around. Lol

Our before bed routine is always the same: dinner, a bath a little family time then bed. I was not mentally prepared for what took place during bath earlier this week. 

I've blogged about properly addressing body parts a while back. It's welcomed for him to address his penis as his penis.. Here goes.. 

I'm washing my son's body and he says to me, " Mommy, these look like marshmallows in my penis". I was taken aback just a tad bit, so I encouraged him to further explain. I asked, "Son what looks like marshmallows"?  He responded, " these" (his testicles). "Oh". That's all I could muster as a response. 

I had to walk out of the bathroom for a minute to gather my thoughts. Ok, marshmallows was a great way to describe his testicles but how do I start the conversation about testicles? Will it lead to him asking where babies come from? Gosh, this can't be it!! But in actuality it is. 

Sometimes I want to breakdown because I beat myself up about raising him alone but as I find strength and allow the wonderful guys who make up our village to spend time with him, I'm reassured that we're ok( his Godfathers do not take the place of his father BUT their presence and involvement is definitely welcomed and he so loves them. Especially the "Godfather" who gives him all the cool stuff and let's him rule the world along side him). 

My Lovies, parenthood has its ups and downs. Some days are good and some are bad. The key is, never let it get you down. Do what you can and allow your children to grow with you, experience good and bad with you as well. I'm extremely blessed to have all of these amazing people in our lives. Where I lack, they step in and pull the extra weight. 

My son asked for marshmallows lastnight, I chuckled.. Oh son!! The things boys say... 

Signed, 

NekaT's Son Speaks...