The Little Things...

These last few months, I've had to find reasons to smile because I know for sure I wanted to just say forget it! This is to hard.

I found myself talking to God more and I stopped complaining. I mean I literally STOPPED!  How was God ever going to bless me while I was so caught up in what I didn't have? It was in that moment He reminded me, " sometimes I'm all you need"..  when I tell you the moment I stopped complaining,  small blessings startedconing my way. In my alone moments, quiet moments and moments when all I could do was cry, God simply said, " So are you going to trust me"?

We get caught up in watching others get ahead that it discourages us. This morning God simply reminded me, He put something on the inside of me and it's his word. When all else fails his word will lift us up and carry us.

As I read this morning and prepared for my day, a peaceful calm overtook me. I can't explain the calm but I can say, something big is on the horizon. Not just for me but for all of us who believe. Let's take heart in God's words and promises. Let's take heart in knowing he has us.
I promise, theres always a light at the end of the tunnel. He makes provision when we can't do it naturally.

I promise, with all of the curves, God is making a straight path just because. It's not the struggle that's making us, it's our Faith in God that's building us and shaping our character.

My lovies, I challenge you to hold on. Hold on to the little things because they turn to much when we put it in the Master's hands.

I totally had a different twist on The Little Things but my heart felt and my fingers typed something else. To some, you're always arriving to late but to God your arrival is On time! And that matters more than anything else...

Signed,
Simply Thankful

My Pushers...

Anyone who truly knows me know that Chelia and Matthew mean the world to me. Parenthood has its ups and downs but for the most part each day I rise to the occasion. I question how my life has turned out at times but in the scheme of things, the 3 of us were destined to be a family( and I'm confident in knowing our little family will soon be complete). 

Some big things are about to take place in our lives. With the 1st being my return to school. As I rearranged my wall art tonight, I added pictures from our family photoshoot this summer. My children are my motivation to keep striving for excellence. I have to set the standard for each of them to model. Each morning I wake( after I pray) I will look at their faces. At night while I study and prepare for the next phase of lives I will look at them. 

For my daughter: We may fall babygirl but we get back up. We never ever quit. Sometimes, we have to travel alone and that's ok. The goal is to work hard at everything you set your mind to accomplish. Sometimes you have to stop talking about it and be about it. Work hard, play later. 

For my son: Always strive for greatness. Defeat is not apart of our vocabulary. We will always keep trying until we succeed. Just because life throws a few curve balls our way, we will still proceed with the plan. Always strive for excellence. Work hard, play later. 

My Lovies, 2016 will only be as great as we make it. Set goals and keep them. Make sacrifices, make changes, become better, do better, be honest, be kind, be loving, be In Love, be smarter than your dumbest choice.... Challenge yourself to complete everything you've set out to do.  I'm nervous but for once I'm confident. Confident in myself and where I am right now. I'm ready to soar.. And as long as my little people and a few very special people are in my corner; I got this.. 

Signed, 

Neka T. Speaks 

Silence

I Always had something to say until I finally realized that what I think ain't worth 2 pennies when it comes to someone's life and their truths. I can go back and forth with words until I'm blue in the face and ultimately, no 1 will win... 

We live in a very judgemental world. Until we learn to keep comments to ourselves, we will find ourselves continuously battling.. 

People will have something to say whether your life is together or whether it's falling apart. In our hands lies the ability to invite them in or to keep on living.I strive for today to be better than yesterday. 

I strive to work harder, love harder and to listen to listen. Sometimes our silence is appreciated more than a response. When we listen or read to respond, we miss the point. 

I've been feeling a little out of my element for a few weeks. Not necessarily good nor bad but just a frayed. And I was reminded Sunday that, life begans to feel uncomfortable as it shifts. So, I've began to practice making moves in silence. Yes, I have a few that I share my inner fears with but for the most part, I'm figuring it out without saying much.

My loves, I challenge you to live a good & fulfilled life. Who cares if you're being judged? Who cares if nobody understands? It's not for everyone but it's for YOU to understand. Sometimes the best lives lived are the ones that are lived in silence. We don't need an audience present for everything. Live and let live! 

Signed, 

I Ain't Said a Word.... #CatchIt

15 years later....

Normally, I get thru it. My day is filled with being a mommy, KISS and countless other little people, that I'm not effected anymore. But for some reason, yesterday was extremely hard. On this day( 8/25/2000), I along with then boyfriend Raemone( yup, Chelia's twin) made a decision that forever bonded/ changed us. I was pregnant, with my 1st child Davhon Raemone. I remember everyday leading up to 8/25 so vividly. I had the most awesomEST midwife in the world Catherine Walker. Gosh she was amazing( to this day I still send her cards because she later became my friend and she helped me to deliver Chelia). I had gone in for a routine appointment. But something wasn't right. We were looking at the ultrasound and she called in a doctor. The words that flowed from her mouth I don't remember, I do remember, " Cheneka your baby is very, very sick". He was diagnosed with Congenital Heart disease failure. One of his arteries did not properly form. I remember Catherine saying, " on a scale of 1 to 10, his survival rate is extremely low. He will have immediate surgery upon delivery".. All I could say was, "What do you mean sick"? I let out a scream that felt like my whole world was going to end. Because it was such a routine appointment, I had gone alone. All I remember was going into this big conference room, calling my aunt and his father. I don't remember how I got home or anything after that. 

Completely numb...

That was a Tuesday. That Thursday night I went to church for prayer and to hear from God. My heart and mind were at Peace. But it hurt so bad. At that time, we felt that was the BEST decision for our child.  That Friday, I was admitted into the hospital to deliver my son, Davhon Raemone Hobbs-Johnson. We were surrounded with lots of Love on that day. His father did not leave my side( even on yesterday, though we're miles apart we checked in on each other), while I was in labor. 

The day progressed and it was soon night. I had this very uncomfortable feeling and the urge to pee. With assistance, I gathered myself and went to the bathroom. Who knew I was actually about to push my baby boy out. My midwife and doctors on call ran into the room. From what I was told and from the pictures I have, he was my complexion and looked a lot like me. He was weighed a little over a pound and a 1/2. 

I've learned to cope with this day and the tears that fall. My only regret was that I did not hold him. My mindset at that time was, " how can I hold him if I could not bring him home with me". Our families held him and kissed him and his dad walked him down to the mortuary. 

We later had him cremated and my midwife delivered the pictures, the measuring tape used to measure him and his footprints. 

I had started a journal to write to him and up until the 20th of August, I wrote daily. Yesterday I sat and read some of the old entries. I was never able to get to know him but the memories I have of carrying him will forever stay with me.. 

Today my lovies, never second guess yourself or the decisions you have to make as a parent. Some decisions will be easy peasy. Some will make us cry but at the end of the day You do what's right. 15 years later, the only thing I would do differently is hug him and say, "Mommy Loves You"... 

Signed, 

Always Your Momm

 

I Came 2 Win

Life is full of so many obstacles. This year alone( and it's only June 15th), I've taken quite a few blows but I've always found the strength to keep going. On most days, where it would've been easy to wallow in my pity, I would hear my son's voice or my daughter would text me and instantly I was reminded why I have to keep going. 

Saturday evening, a sister friend invited a few of us to the ColorFest 5k. Although we arrived later than expected, we were still able to get in FREE and participate.  I must admit, this has been one of the best "Me Time" breaks in a while. I can honestly say, I've truly enjoyed doing what I want, eating what I want( I haven't gone to the supermarket since the kids left) and sleeping in late. 

Saturday night was a reminder that, I may not have everything I want but what I need is always provided in abundance.  As I watched the people around me and jumped up and down to the " What's up what's up", it hit me: Life is good. If I continue to press, stay Optimistic, support others and go after my dreams, one day I'll have it ALL. 

Love, Peace and Happiness surround me daily but I have to chose to allow them to manifest in my life. 

Today lovely people, accept what you cannot change and choose to Live your life happy and in color. 

So what it didn't work, so what you had to cry, so what you have a Buick instead of a Benz. You're here and ALIVE. 

I've Come to Win and losing will never ever be an option.. I challenge you, 2 Live!! 

Signed, 

Ms. Sunshine 

Stop being greedy

Yesterday was clean the fish tank day. We're horrible. The little tank goes months on end without us cleaning it out. Once it gets to like 1/2 empty, I'll just add fresh water and solution. Don't judge us, we named the fish Lucky. Lucky to be alive, lucky to be fed just plain lucky. 

My morning was slow, so I took a few minutes and cleaned out Lucky's tank. It was nice and sparkly. Afterwards, I even fed Lucky because I honestly didn't know the last time he'd been fed. 

As I prepared dinner, I happen to look up and son poured half the container of fish food into the tank. Ughhhhhh and anyone who has goldfish you know they will just continue to eat. 

Within a matter of 20 mins, the water was blurred and lil Lucky was still eating. And it hit me. Lucky has human characteristics. No matter what, if you feed a Person something they like, they will continue to come back. Feed a person garbage ( ie, gossip) they keep coming back. Feed a person knowledge they will debate it. 

Today, I challenge each of you to remove the clutter and garbage. Quit over eating on the things that are not going to edify your brain and your soul. Take a moment or two and love on your life and the good that's added too it. 

Remove things of the past than have hurt you and made you feel unwanted, less than or not enough.

Over eat on your success and not the failures. Over eat on things that are healthy. When you leave room for garbage, before you know it there's tons waiting to be thrown out... Take a moment and throw it out before it stinks!

Signed,

iEat

iGrow

iLearn

IMoveForward 

I PUSH a little Harder...

Since becoming a small Business Owner, I'm learning that in order to be successful, it takes having people who think like you on your team. My 1st year has taught me lessons in finance, determination, commitment, responsibility and friendship. At the end of the day, if you're not strong enough one of them will kill you.

I have developed a greater sense of my self worth and my strengths. Some days I have it all together and some days it's easy to feel that I want to give up.  But I go forth. I'm not working just to establish my name but to establish good work ethics so my children will have something to aspire too.

KISS, was and has operated in my home. It was just a small idea( that I had in my head) that has now grown into over 20+ families being served. I never thought in my wildest dreams I would take something I'm truly passionate about( helping women and caring for kids) and make it into a reality.

What has been the hardest one might ask? I'm learning to separate friendship from business. This has been a lesson that only JESUS himself could help me understand. I'm glad that some strong women have crossed my path along the way and they are helping me to toughen up and realize that, just because we have difference in opinions where services are concerned; after we hash it out we carry on as grown women who are friends.

Today, I'm saluting LIFE... Oh it gets hard. Some days are full of tears, some days are trying and some days there are more successes than failures! YES you WIN some and during that 1st year you LOSE some too. Never under estimate who you are and what you provide. To one person, my services are just plain ole baby sitting( which is it) however, to the next person I'm providing a safe haven, where she's extremely comfortable leaving her son. For every upset, there's a comment like this that makes me Push a little harder...

I didn't know how strong I was until I decided to pay me what I'm worth.. I didn't fully understand my business' value until I had to start looking for a permanent location. You feel your job isn't paying you what you're worth? Make YOUR own position and pay yourself. Become your OWN cheerleader, I did and each day I Push a little harder!!!

I'll NEVER be Skinny because I DON't WANT 2!!

Am I dying to be skinny or Healthy? Hmmm.. Being skinny has NEVER been in my genetic make up. I'm 30+ and the smallest I've ever been was a 10. Two kids later & LIFE, I just want to be alive, able to race my daughter and not lose my breath and use this jogger stroller and enjoy fresh air with my son/family.

This last week 1/2 has been AWESOME. No red meat, no fried foods, no sweets& no strong drink. I've drank enough water to make me go like a camel and blended fruits I normally wouldn't drink into a nice smoothie( Ice, fruit, 1/2 cup of yogurt or V8 blend). I don't want to be skinny just better.

So many times, society gives us an image and facts that just don't fit every life style. While, its easy for people to decide to stop eating meat, the choice is still there to grab Mc.D's because its easier. The choice to be better, do better and produce better is one that's sometimes a battle within ourselves.

I listen to my daughter and at age 7, she already has a clear idea of what and how she wants to look. I remember when I was at my highest size 18, she was 3.5 and she told me" Mommy, you're fat but you're still the prettiest mommy I know"( hmmmmph, I'm the ONLY mommy you have chick). But it triggered, do I want to be skinny and still eat a boat load of junk, or do I want to be healthy and live better for us? I choose to just live better.

My fave activity is walking. I walk when I'm happy, I walk when I'm sad, I walk with heels and sneakers. I can walk a mile and not even feel it. Just give me some WATER! I walk because its good and because I can control it. Just like I can control what I put into my body.

Being healthy and eating to be skinny are so totally different. The same way Healthy Choice can cook chicken to be healthy so can we. I'm not obsessed with being something that would take away from who and what I am. I LOVE food. Give me some collard greens and turkey necks any day... However, I'm not going to go crazy with my seasonings either. My grandmother( RIP Mamount) would've put some hamhocks in them, fat back and any other fattening Southern "delicacy" she could find. Not me, I'm eating to be better and to live. And when you cook right, that same good taste is there.



So, debate if you must about whether or not women are eating to be skinny or healthy. I KNOw for a fact, Skinny does not and WILL not EVER look good on me. IT'S my choice how much I eat. There's a such thing as eating with portion control and eating slow to savor the meal. I've learned if you sit and eat as a family discussing your day, you tend to fill up because you are chewing vs eating quickly to hurry up.


I'm eating to LIVE...I'm eating to enjoy my children, I'm eating to wear clothes and have room in them. Ultimately,I'm Eating to LIVE RIGHT for me!

SN: However, if I do loose a pound or 5, that's okay because I have a pair of white pants calling my name for 2012!!