Imposter..Fake!!! Security, Security

We've all been guilty of it( especially women)wearing girdles and spanx to define a shape that's not ours.. But, see what had happened was(LOL), I gave birth to a little boy 7 months ago... Before giving birth, I definitely had my sexy BACK. I was fitting in a 10/12 perfectly. To me, it was an accomplishment because I hadn't been this size since high school. And that's over 10+ years ago! I was walking daily, drinking water and just being cautious. It wasn't because I was ordered to loose weight by my Dr, but because I just wanted to feel better about myself!!

Society has consumed our self image with pictures of all the celebrities looking anorexic.. They're in bathing suits that are barely on, they are buying size zeros and everyone is talking about cutting back in the meat department. A conversation was held with a few sister girls and we all ranged from size 8-18. Are we healthy? Yes we are! We like just FOOD.I'm not going to front, as I'm typing this blog I'm enjoying a slice of pie and ice cream. Does that make me fat? To some YES but to me naw!!! I can out walk a skinny chic any day. I don't have diabetes nor heart disease. I can race my daughter and not be out of breath. This summer, I was cheer mom for my daughter's squad. She was quick to say, " My mommy was a cheerleader and she can still do a split".. And, I'm not going to lie, it made my heart smile every time I was able to do a split.. It took a while to hop right back up, but your girl Did It!!

The average American woman's size is not in the single digits, its a 16!! POW! So, just like we put emphasis on age( she does NOT look a day over 25, you're right because I'm 32)the emphasis is put on size too! Go figure, numbers are just not safe in these parts!!

In the end, we all have to be happy and content with the skin we are in. Just lastnite, I noticed this long strand of gray hair. I mean it's long. I'm tempted to pull it out but its apart of my make-up. Plus, if I get rid of it, who knows how many more will grow in it's place!!

So, let us enjoy our spanx and girdles.. Pizza, burgers and Coke too. There's nothing FAKE or PHONY about using a little support to help enjoy the skin you're in!! So, tonite when you have dinner, sip on that soda! And it better not be diet either!! And if you dare call security, let it be on those fake women who know good and well they want more than those rice cakes!!!! Chew on that!!!

Go on Now, Mess with THEM if you Want.....

I LOVE BAGS... I know, may sound crazy but for anyone who knows me, you know my collection is crazy. Funny thing is, I've had so many that I just don't remember because I don't mind sharing them, lending them out or giving them away. I have "sisters" who will call just to get a bag and I love it. I keep them stuffed so they will maintain their shape and I keep them in their protective cloths. Even the ones that are not high end, I treat them equally.. Hmmmmm, kind of reminds me how I am with my family...Even though some have treated me wrong, talked about me or even lied on me I still LOVE them.. Read on!

We all have family. It's funny because the way some people act at times, one would beg to differ. Families are not perfect but LOVE is. When we love our families unconditionally, we tend to find a way to overlook Uncle George, who is intoxicated at every function and although we know Sue Ella is a few stops short of the top floor, we listen to her funny antics. And poor Nana, just smile and keeps the guest room clean because she never knows who will need a place to lay their head.

In a family nobody is perfect. We fight, we cuss each other out, even spend some time NOT speaking. But, let that phone call go out that such and such is in trouble, I'm telling you the whole clan is ready to attack. Some of us are blessed to not only have immediate family but extended family too. We tend to think that FAMILY, consists of only the people who share the same last name or even bloodline but I beg to differ. I have sisters and brothers who my parents did NOT birth. And trust me when I say,they have my back. I have these older sisters(for those that know me u know I'm the oldest of my immediate siblings)who will fight in a minute,they are sincere with their words and although I don't always like them and we disagree, the understanding and LOVE is mutual. I appreciate them more than they will even know. Even when they are bugging me about "STUFF", I just smile because they truly care.

It's sad when it takes a death for us to realize how much we truly LOVE them. When my grandmother passed, over 10+ years ago, I met so much family. It was crazy, we had almost the entire town on lockdown the day of her funeral. Although I don't remember most of their names or faces, I know they exist. Too know, we have people out there who care is amazing.

How many of you have that one relative who don't mind fighting? It may sound funny but I have members just like that in my family. There's nothing funny about that statement because it's so totally TRUE.... I'm a vivid watcher of Tyler Perry's plays, and a scene comes to mind where Mr.Brown's niece's husband grabbed her arm. The MEN in her family jumped so quick. That was a reminder of how we should be quick to defend our family members. I'm told daily, " Nek, you could be wrong but I'm going to stand with you and have your back BUT behind closed doors, babe I'm going to tell you you're wrong and we'll discuss it. But, on the outside nobody will ever know because I support You"...( smile....)

If everyone would take on that same mentality of having our family's back whether good or bad, I'm sure there'd be less division and more UNITY. We cannot unify ourselves with others until we stand united with the ones GOD gave us..

So, go on if you must, Mess with someone in my family!! You won't just have me to deal with BUT an entire tribe, whether good or bad who will be willing and ready to whip your..... Well, you know the rest! Try Me!!

In A Perfect world..

In a peRfect world,
Everyone would believe in God.
Women wouldn't be spiteful,
Nor carry insecurities.

Men wouldn't covet what's not theirs and they would
Marry women and not make children out of wedlock.
Women would be stronger and not fall victim to the,"You're the 1"
They'd be confident in who they are and require MORE

In a Perfect world,
We would know he's the one because upon that 3rd finger on the left hand would be a ring.
In a peRfect world,
Even though things did not work,
A"DAD" will take ownership in raising his children too.

In a peRfect world,
Mistakes would be a thing of the past
And you would NEVER have to hear people's negative, " I remember when"

In a peRfect world,
Everyone would have a job,
There'd be no murders, no SIN,
And everyone would live as fRee Men and woMEN..

This is not a vent, its not a Tale,
It's thoughts and pureness on learning to let LOVE prevail.

Love does NOT make it peRfect,
But it surely makes it feel right.
It covers all of our wrongs,
Makes tomorrow worth fighting for.

In a peRfect world,
Everyone is treated fair,
The unJust becomes JUST
The unInvolved become INVOLVED
The lost become Found
The Broken are Mended
and wrongs become RIGHTS...

In A peRfect world,
someone is going to read this and maybe disagree,
while others will read it and feel differently.
whatever cord it strikes in you,
just remember it's in YOU( you're perfect world).

In a peRfect world,
In a peRfect world,
In a peRfect world... Let's let Joy, hope and Peace begin!

What are you cleaning with?

I have and obsession with cleaning.. Like, I can go in the bathroom to relieve myself and I'll find myself cleaning the tub, or spraying the toilet down when I'm done. We have 2 bathrooms in my house and I'll just walk into the guest/my daughter's bathroom and randomly start cleaning.

I don't know if my obsession is clean fresh scent of the cleaning detergents or if it's a slight bit of OCD. Whatever it is, I'm hooked. Yesterday, I bought this new All purpose cleaner by Ajax.. I've already wiped the kitchen down twice, sprayed both tubs and wiped down the sink counter tops. I think I'm going to make mop water and mop all the floors before bed time too... I LOVE the smell of clean!!

I'm sure my obsession with cleanliness has nothing on the expectation God has for us. I mean, I fail and slip daily. Some not so clean words and thoughts slip. sometimes I just want to just spaz out on people for saying and doing things I consider are not the brightest.

How can I compare my level of cleanliness to the bar God has set? He allowed HIS son to die for me so that I can wake up, make mistakes, go to bed and wake up and do it all over again tomorrow. I LOVE my son but the thought of giving him so other people can fail I cannot began to fathom.

Every time I clean my toilet bowl, it's like cleaning my mouth out. I know I'm going to clean it and it will be used again. Each attempt is done with the thought that this may be the day it stays clean. Maybe this will be the day, I won't call someone an idiot. Maybe, just maybe I won't allow my thoughts to get the best of me and allow someone upset me.

Everytime I clean my filthy toilet, that's the way God feels when he cleans us. We're filthy and with him, HE makes it all right.. He flushes out all the sin by giving us NEW life everyday. With each new flush I clean my toilet and with each new cleansing from God, we have another chance at eternal life.

Dear God,
With each flush, reNEW me! With each wipe, wipe away my worldliness so I will resemble a life you're Proud of and ppl can see you're reflection through me.. Get you're best cleaning agents out and start to wiping!!

You Wore that YESTERDAY...

My daughter absolutely positively LOVE skinny jeans. She's only 7, and her sense of style is so strongly demonstrated through the way she likes to dress. I have nothing wrong with it but I'd like for her to change it up. She enjoys wearing skirts too, but if she could wear skinny jeans daily she would. ( Se wear uniform Mon-Thurs! I'm sure u can guess her favorite day, Friday!! Free DRESS)

I then think about my wardrobe and the way I style myself. I can make just about anything look nice except a uniform. Wearing a uniform conforms you to looking like a group. I've always been a Leader, loving to stand out. It was such torture at my previous place of employment wearing the uniform. I would leave my uniform there and wear my own clothes into the school. 5-10mins before my shift was over, I'd find myself running down the hall to the bathroom to change. It was such a depressing atmosphere looking like everyone else. I would tend to find myself in a pissy attitude because it was in the air of the facility.

I look at people daily. Most "wear" the exact same "Uniform".
Depression
Hurt
Heartache
Aggravation
Pity
Selfless"Ness"
Sin

Each and everyday, ALL day these are the items people have decided to wear. While we're all entitled to wear what we must, why put the SAME thing on every single day? Whatever happened to waking up and feeling fresh and anew?
If you're wearing the same thing because someone hurt you, rid yourself of their presence and hold by letting it go.
If you're wearing pity because someone has done you wrong, let that feeling go and build yourself up.
If you're wearing sin, remove yourself from that sinful nature.. Seek the safety of God and HE will make you whole.

It's not in my blood to wear the same thing daily. I'm to fresh and Oh so clean.. So, today I pass the PEACE of ridding yourself of yesterday's rags. Get up, go through your "wardrobe" and put on the cleanest prettiest piece of clothing you have( or put on the prettiest smile you have) and leave yesterday's garment in the dirty clothes.


It's a New day and we welcome it with Cleanliness!!

Another Storm, Well DANG already..

It's pouring in Atlanta today.. Like, this rain is really coming down. My daughter asked, was it the kind of rain where she could wear her rain boots! I told her sure go, ahead. I came back home and prepared for the day. I cleaned my son( with water and soap of course)and then took my shower. I realized, with each process there was a substantial amount of water and soap being used: A cleansing.

I opened my patio door to allow the fresh air and the fresh smell of rain to saturate my home. Breath of fresh air, over take my home and life. Sometimes, the very thing we're fighting is to be used as a refresher or cleansing for our souls.

As the rain falls, I'm thankful that I'm protected under God's huge umbrella. The rain is falling and its providing moisture to the ground, plants, soil and the Fall Harvest. For all of us who have sown seeds, it's time for us to open up and receive. Some wonderful people have sown into my life throughout the year. It hasn't always been financial, but words of encouragement,non-judgmental ears, breaking bread here and there. But, it's all been love and oh so real and I'm grateful.

Every storm we encounter, won't always break us but it will add to our genetic make-up of being strong and resilient. I've learned to welcome the storms. There's always a lesson of appreciation that sits right next to the rainbow or even your pot of Gold!

Today, I pass the PEACE of Encouragement. I encourage everyone to weather the storm because at the end you shall rejoice if you Faint not. You're struggles are Not in Vain, hang on in there..

Busting out....

Last night while cleaning the baby keep getting in the way so we laid him in his bed.. Upon completing what I was doing, I went in the room to check on him and my son had crawled out of his bed and was behind the door, helping me to open the door so he could get out..Yes, he's 6 months and has mastered the military crawl on his belly!
I laughed so hard as I picked him up. At an early age, he knows what he want. Whatever measures he needs to take, he's doing it already.. BUSTING out.

The same way we carry babies for nine months, when they are ready to Bust out, they will began the process through the canal into the real world. They are soon cut off from the cord and are forced to live, breath and learn on their own( with guidance, love and support of course). I did wonder though, what happens if the cord is never cut? It eventually dries up and falls off.

That's the same way we must approach living our lives and taking on responsibility for our own actions. We can only expect so much from our parents and family. Eventually, that cord is going to dry out.

Life is the biggest teacher. We have great examples and some examples that sill leave us confused. In stead of being concerned with who supports us and wants the best, BUST out and go for yours. Fall on your face, lose it all if you have too.. BUT, let YOUR experiences teach you...

I BUSTED out at age 19. My cord was my mother marrying and moving to another state. Was the transition hard, heck yes. I went from having my mom doing EVERYTHING to me learning to do it for myself. That's a lesson I'll never forget because it set me up to appreciate my LIFE.. I've learned through the many sacrifices, that if I never BUSTED OUT, i'd still be living an unfilled life..I would've never mustered the courage to leave it all and start all over again with my daughter, in another state with no immediate family( but her father's family, who welcomed me and we're supportive and still are)
I BUSTED OUT and trust me, I have no thoughts on going back.. couldn't if I wanted to anyway!!! LOL


" Live a life with purpose and meaning, BUST out of the Norm and find YOU"

Keep Your HandOuts

I've been trying to lose weight forever... Before the birth of my son, I was extremely happy with my weight. I was fitting in my size 12's perfectly and could get into a size 10. I never understood the infatuation with wanting to be small..

Was it not having a banana around your waist, being able to fit comfortably in your clothes, people not starring or being able to go to McD's eat a meal and wash it down with a diet coke and not feel guilty? Whatever it was I felt it.

Now, I'm back at the beginning battling with what I don't like.. We tend to think, we make changes to be accepted. I know as a young girl, I did alot of crazy things to just fit in. I had to find myself. Once, I knew who I was, what I wanted to be, I found the strength and courage to be ONLY ME..

When we put forth our best effort and we work hard at what we want, the reward is far greater than someone giving it to us. I don't want a hand-out, I want a hand-Up. A hand-up doesn't always come in the form of someone helping. A hand Up starts with US.

When I fall, I tend to use my two hands and push myself back up. I don't wait around for someone to help because if I keep waiting I'm wasting time. We've learned to become extremely dependent on the words, motivation and support from others. While, the gesture is good; if we hault the process until someone says Go, we'll never understand what we're capable of.

Getting in my size 12's is something I need to accomplish for myself. I need to be healthy enough to dust my daughter in a race and not gasp for air. I need to be able to utilize that expensive jogger stroller I have and go out for fresh air with my son.

We all like compliments, we all love hearing we look AMAZING.. What we tend to think is beautiful, we never fully understand what that person is battling with. The battle to lose or be better is OURS. We tend to be our worst enemy because we all have different levels of feeling complete.

I know what it takes for me to be happy. Therefore,I'm not waiting for a Hand-Out, I'm using my OWN hands and pushing for a Hand Up!!

UnConditional is NEVER Questionable

Our children will never understand. They will never understand our LOVE for them is beyond unconditional. I just shared with my daughter that my love is so real, I will die protecting her and her little brother. Without them I'm just Cheneka. But, each morning they look into my eyes and I hear her say "Mommy" and he smile as I stand over his crib to pick him up, it gives a sense of completion that know one could understand UNLESS you are a parent.

Situations happen daily that are beyond our control. They can either make us stronger or they will break us to the core. I know for sure, my children will never understand the measures I take to keep them safe and to provide for them. They will never understand what it means to want something BUT decide to buy them that little shirt or order from the Scholastic Book club book club just BECAUSE. They will never understand what it means to go without because ALL of their needs and sometimes wants are met.

I watch my baby boy and marvel at his growth. He's 6 months and attempting to crawl now. I watch my daughter and I'm proud of the person she's becoming but I hope she does not compromise who and what I've taught her to be just to have friends.Our children go through their own identity issues where we will have to help them along the way. While, we may not always agree with what they are doing or saying, its our position to reassure them, "Although I'm about to discipline you, I STILL and WILL always LOVE U.

There is a sense of self worth that comes along with the title "Mommy"
We Pray, Cry, Smile, Hurt, Rejoice and even feel Defeat. What matters most is the way we deal with whatever is presented our way. While we will suffer through stages of parenthood being tough, there will also be numerous accomplishments that will outweigh any hurt that may come our way.

Today's lesson has taught me, there will some good days and some bad days. The Joy is knowing that at the end of the day, if I have loved my children the way God has ordained me too I have accomplished one of the many positions I hold as a Woman. Ever decision my child make will not make me happy and I will voice that. I just pray that they will value me enough to always share, no matter what the outcome may be.

"Motherhood, everyone can make a child but everyone cannot raise and nurture one"

your Money is NO GOOD here

"The best usage of our time is NOT in the gifts we go to the store&pick out, BUT the time we spend giving back to someone else"

This morning alongside over 200+people, we gathered at Kaiser Permenente and was bused to Atlanta Skate Park and assembled bikes for inner city youth. Along with my sisterfriend and our daughters; we spent our am giving back. Yea, most would say just go to Walmart and buy a bike that's pre-assembled. But NO, that would not have made the impact on my heart the way today did.

As we gathered from various walks of life, it was evident all of our hearts were in the same place. We united to make a difference. Everyday, we're reminded how tough it is, with the constant laying off of jobs. Welfare and food stamps are at an all time high. This is not the way many people envisioned their lives. so, for a short while, we brightened the faces of some young kids who are being affected.

We assembled bikes brand new individual bikes for over 40 youth!! It's not a strenuous task, trust me! But standing next to people I didn't know, to make a child feel valued and like the world cares made MY heart smile.

Today, my money( trust me, not like I have alot)was no good. They wanted my time, a smile and my effort and I GAVE unselfishly.
I have because at the end of the day, I have 2 children who I hope will reap the benefits of my giving. We may not first hand get the opportunity to see our good reciprocated BUT trust me in some way our children will.

While buying gifts surely are nice, sometimes the thought and effort of just OUR time will suffice!!!

And because my time was valued more than money: TODAY for once my Money was NO GOOD

Hopeless? Nah, hopeFULL

It's Saturday morning and I'm up. I've never been able to sleep in late. Why? Trust me I've tried but I firmly believe the early bird DOES get the worm!

Today, I'm volunteering with Kaiser Permanente to build bikes for youth in Atlanta. I can barely but together a lamp, let alone build a bike! LOL
I crack myself up. I remember when I was so hopelessly putting together my 1st entertainment set when I 1st moved to Atlanta. It took forever but I was determined. I finally put it together. What a sense of accomplishment. Even my daughter said,"Finally mommy, you did it". Like that wasn't enough, when I moved again, rather than keeping that 1st one, I bought another one and went through the same process again. This time though, I followed the computerized tutorial.
I honestly believe, this is my way of reminding myself, although the situation may seem hopeless, I HAVE to stay hopeFULL!!

Today, I'm volunteering with Kaiser Permenente to build bikes for Youth in Atlanta. I'm taking my daughter along with me because I believe in teaching her, we must give in order to receive. There are so many people in hopeless situations. With the job market being at an all time low, people are willing to take all types of assistance just to keep afloat.
I thank God for his Favor, LOVE and Mercy upon my life and the life of my family. Have we faced hopeless"NESS" yes but in the process we've remained HopeFULL..

In our worst situations, there's a story being made. Will the end result read, they gave in or will it say they came up? Each day I'm rising and I urge you to do the same too!!

Just in case you're wondering why it's reading hopeFULL and not hopeful? I'm doubling the LL because I believe for every 1 thing I do there's another coming around the corner to make it 2!!

Pee U, that STINKS...

Most of you know I'm a Mother. I have 2 little ones. A diva style 7 year old daughter and a 6month old little boy who's beyond active!! I love it.. What sucks the most is when they both use the bathroom. My daughter has her own bathroom that's shared with the guest and my son, well you get it,,His bathroom travels with him. But once its on him, he screams and moves like a mad babyboy til I change him.

I'm quick to yell to my daughter, " Close your bathroom door", and with my son I change him as soon as I smell it. I was once told, my sense of smell is amazing..

I said all that to say, Can u smell a bad situation from a mile away? and what do you do?
Life is teaching me, when it smells bad throw it out. Same with anything that's toxic.. When it smells it smells: PEE U!! The more we keep stinky stuff around, the more it lingers and gets into the atmosphere. And there's nothing worse that the smell of dirty friends, dirty relatives, dirty lies and untruths.

And sometimes, we add to the stinky smell by not ridding ourselves of it on contact. We can't say we've changed when we welcome the mess daily.

I remember there was this girl in my 4th grade class we called'Stinky Tanya(name was changed for this piece) I mean this chick smelled. Instead of us helping, we made it worse and crushed her as a person. Kids are honest but yet the boldness we possessed hurt her in the process.
As adults, if we could learn to be bold about the truth and stop pacifying people's feelings, there would be less stinki"NESS" floating around..
If its a toxic friend, throw it out
If its a toxic phone call, hang up
If you walk in on a toxic conversation, leave!
Let's stop adding more stink to the Stink..( that's funny)

Pee u, that STINKS and I refuse to smell it!
How ironic, my son just pooped.. Shoot! Here I come son!

Dear Me

Dear Me,
How are you? I saw you the other day and you looked worried. So, I decided to drop you a few lines and remind you, I have your back. It's hard when you're so accustomed to putting other's feelings, wants and needs above your own. You tend to lose sight and forget about yourself. Don't do it girl, not worth it.

Stop letting people, their thoughts and actions towards you hold up space in your heart. Replace it with this affirmation," Until they know you, they can't judge you". Everyone will have opinions but in the long run, yours is what matters.

Live a life worth talking about: and not the negative. You've overcome alot. Hurt,lies,bad relationships,deaths, failures and even mistreatment. You took what was meant to hurt you and you survived. Don't forget its okay to cry. Let your tears heal you. They are not signs of weakness but signs of being human and having feelings too.

You are an excellent mother too!! Not only are you loved by your natural children but the hundreds you touched during your time as Youth Worker. So, many of them still call you MA and for that you should smile.

I'm writing you this letter because in my book you rock. Every once in a while remind yourself. Get pretty and make it about you.

As I close this letter, I'm reminded of this woman I know. She's strong, a go getter, imperfect but loves whole heartedly. She's overcome failure and in her own little way, she's making a GREAT impact on her side of the world. You know who she is? YOU!!

Now keeping Making me Proud!!
I love you,
Signed,
YOU!!

Let it go...

I read something lastnite night that said, If something doesn't want to be kept, let it go...

Hmmm, I've been thinking about it every since.
What do we do with our dogs when we take them out to the park? We let them roam and run freely. After they've exerted all of their energy they come back. Why do they come back? Because they feel loved and valued by their owner. If they didn't feel loved or valued, I'm sure they wouldn't return.

Just like with people. Some of us value good friendships so we keep them healthy. We talk when we're hurt, we talk when its all good. We talk when we need to yell and we talk in the calmest voice when just sharing.

What makes letting go so hard?
Is it the fear of facing the unknown, is it not trusting yourself to live with the decision you are making..

I'm reminded of this song by Heather Headley"
When you love someone you gotta let them go and if they come back it means so much more!

If it troubles you , Let it go
If it hurts you, Let it go
If it makes you feel unsafe, Let it go

But if it supports you..... You make the call!

Your Own Giants

Giant, adjective: having extremely large size, proportion, or power



I'm guilty..
I've found myself on the line of judges others. And don't front bc we all are guilty. The good thing about guilt, it will do one of 2 things, Convict you of your wrong doings or pacify the truth. I can recall being a Jerk as a young Adult. If you didn't like what I said, then oh well, You're wrong and not me. Man, did it hurt when it finally hit that, the world is made up of different people, ideas, dreams etc.. This was MY giant that I had to defeat... JUDGING.

There will be many obstacles we will face. There will be people who will always disagree with what we say as well. The joy in Freedom of speech is that, its what and how I feel. Disagree if you must, it's your God given right. But, don't assume its a lie or a tweaking of what YOU feel is Your truth. That is YOUR Giant and don't transfer how or what you feel into negative thoughts.

As a race we can be such Kill Joys. When situations occur that we cannot control, we seem to find ways to make the other person look bad by defaming their character.
When will we learn to face our own Giants?
I've learned/still learning, people will question and assume the worst before seeking out what truly works. Our experiences will differ and some will be the same. It's all a matter of showing Respect.Our demeanor says alot about us.. What is yours saying?
My demeanor speaks volumes for the person I was and the person I've become.
I'm learning to stand up to my Giants and face them one day at a time!

Blended? Riiiight

I'm a step-child. Both of my parents are married to someone else. Do I like my step-parents? I do, but was it always easy? NO
I have sisters and brothers. According to the world's standards, they are 1/2 brothers and sisters when you only share the mother and full brothers and sisters when you share the same father. I beg to differ. I LOVE each of my siblings equally. We're definitely all different but as their oldest sister, I feel its my job to love and protect all of them. I remember a few times taking a licking on their behalf( a swift punch to the face defending my sister once and a couple of knockdown drags out defending 3 of my 4 brothers).. To me, definitely worth it.
I still haven't figured out what makes blended families work so well. Is it all the parties involved being on the same page? Is it reassuring the kids that I'm not replacing your other parent, I'm here to provide extra LOVE & SUPPORT? We each posses different beliefs and characteristics.
I know for myself, I LOVE kids without a shadow of doubt. People laugh at me from time to time because one of my fave lines is, "It's for the kids". But, if you know me and know me WELL, you will know this is TRUE( that's a funny sentence huh?)
I believe, we should not transfer our beliefs, misunderstandings, failures and shotcomings onto kids. It's hard enough for them to find their voices and learn to express themselves. But, its even harder when we transfer what we feel onto them, therefore confusing them MORE.
Nothing in life is easy. We will encounter more no's than yes', more stumbling blocks than a few. but, the courage and strength lies within us to come out on TOP.
The cycle of being blended has now surfaced in my life. My daughter has a bother on her dad's side and I have a son as well. My son is shared with three sisters( 2 from his dad).
This journey has been hard. Are we all adjusting? No! Too many people are involved and are NOT respecting the position of the PARENTS. When to many people are adding their ingredients, the SOUP taste horrible.
When we become adults, we take on the responsibility of our own actions. I know if my parents could change some of my decisions, they would because I surely would. But this is my cup, I poured it so let me sip it. We have to be strong and confident enough to know that we're doing the best we can. And when we receive to much negative feed back, it hinders the process of going forward.
Can tomorrow be better than today? It's possible if we just take the time to pray. And, not only pray when it seems bad, but pray when its good so that God will see our grateful"ness" and keep paving the road for an easy journey.
Ultimately, do I think blended families are bad? NO, I do not. I'm the product of one and now my children are too. Am I trying to make it work? I'm trying my hardest, so please don't HINDER my process.
I'm not asking for anyone's help because I've learned enough on my own being the product of blended. for it has it's good days and bad, smiles and frowns. BUT, I'm happy and the experience has made me stronger.
Blended?? Yes, blended..
Is it right? Who are we to say YES or No?
Riiiiigggght....