Cheneka T. Is.......
- Sincerely, ChenekaT
- Atlanta, Georgia, United States
- I'm Cheneka, simply put!! I'm a Mother, Author, Business Owner and Co-Founder of Women Who Network, LLC. I recently became a published Author: Strategically Being Mom. Book number 2 is currently in the works. A series on things I've learned while being a Single Mom. I was born to help heal others through my words and actions. My greatest Joys are my children and to help others. You can find me on Instagram; womenbldgnetwrk( business) neka_th( personal).
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Let it go...
I read something lastnite night that said, If something doesn't want to be kept, let it go...
Hmmm, I've been thinking about it every since.
What do we do with our dogs when we take them out to the park? We let them roam and run freely. After they've exerted all of their energy they come back. Why do they come back? Because they feel loved and valued by their owner. If they didn't feel loved or valued, I'm sure they wouldn't return.
Just like with people. Some of us value good friendships so we keep them healthy. We talk when we're hurt, we talk when its all good. We talk when we need to yell and we talk in the calmest voice when just sharing.
What makes letting go so hard?
Is it the fear of facing the unknown, is it not trusting yourself to live with the decision you are making..
I'm reminded of this song by Heather Headley"
When you love someone you gotta let them go and if they come back it means so much more!
If it troubles you , Let it go
If it hurts you, Let it go
If it makes you feel unsafe, Let it go
But if it supports you..... You make the call!
Your Own Giants
Giant, adjective: having extremely large size, proportion, or power
I'm guilty..
I've found myself on the line of judges others. And don't front bc we all are guilty. The good thing about guilt, it will do one of 2 things, Convict you of your wrong doings or pacify the truth. I can recall being a Jerk as a young Adult. If you didn't like what I said, then oh well, You're wrong and not me. Man, did it hurt when it finally hit that, the world is made up of different people, ideas, dreams etc.. This was MY giant that I had to defeat... JUDGING.
There will be many obstacles we will face. There will be people who will always disagree with what we say as well. The joy in Freedom of speech is that, its what and how I feel. Disagree if you must, it's your God given right. But, don't assume its a lie or a tweaking of what YOU feel is Your truth. That is YOUR Giant and don't transfer how or what you feel into negative thoughts.
As a race we can be such Kill Joys. When situations occur that we cannot control, we seem to find ways to make the other person look bad by defaming their character.
When will we learn to face our own Giants?
I've learned/still learning, people will question and assume the worst before seeking out what truly works. Our experiences will differ and some will be the same. It's all a matter of showing Respect.Our demeanor says alot about us.. What is yours saying?
My demeanor speaks volumes for the person I was and the person I've become.
I'm learning to stand up to my Giants and face them one day at a time!
I'm guilty..
I've found myself on the line of judges others. And don't front bc we all are guilty. The good thing about guilt, it will do one of 2 things, Convict you of your wrong doings or pacify the truth. I can recall being a Jerk as a young Adult. If you didn't like what I said, then oh well, You're wrong and not me. Man, did it hurt when it finally hit that, the world is made up of different people, ideas, dreams etc.. This was MY giant that I had to defeat... JUDGING.
There will be many obstacles we will face. There will be people who will always disagree with what we say as well. The joy in Freedom of speech is that, its what and how I feel. Disagree if you must, it's your God given right. But, don't assume its a lie or a tweaking of what YOU feel is Your truth. That is YOUR Giant and don't transfer how or what you feel into negative thoughts.
As a race we can be such Kill Joys. When situations occur that we cannot control, we seem to find ways to make the other person look bad by defaming their character.
When will we learn to face our own Giants?
I've learned/still learning, people will question and assume the worst before seeking out what truly works. Our experiences will differ and some will be the same. It's all a matter of showing Respect.Our demeanor says alot about us.. What is yours saying?
My demeanor speaks volumes for the person I was and the person I've become.
I'm learning to stand up to my Giants and face them one day at a time!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Blended? Riiiight
I'm a step-child. Both of my parents are married to someone else. Do I like my step-parents? I do, but was it always easy? NO
I have sisters and brothers. According to the world's standards, they are 1/2 brothers and sisters when you only share the mother and full brothers and sisters when you share the same father. I beg to differ. I LOVE each of my siblings equally. We're definitely all different but as their oldest sister, I feel its my job to love and protect all of them. I remember a few times taking a licking on their behalf( a swift punch to the face defending my sister once and a couple of knockdown drags out defending 3 of my 4 brothers).. To me, definitely worth it.
I still haven't figured out what makes blended families work so well. Is it all the parties involved being on the same page? Is it reassuring the kids that I'm not replacing your other parent, I'm here to provide extra LOVE & SUPPORT? We each posses different beliefs and characteristics.
I know for myself, I LOVE kids without a shadow of doubt. People laugh at me from time to time because one of my fave lines is, "It's for the kids". But, if you know me and know me WELL, you will know this is TRUE( that's a funny sentence huh?)
I believe, we should not transfer our beliefs, misunderstandings, failures and shotcomings onto kids. It's hard enough for them to find their voices and learn to express themselves. But, its even harder when we transfer what we feel onto them, therefore confusing them MORE.
Nothing in life is easy. We will encounter more no's than yes', more stumbling blocks than a few. but, the courage and strength lies within us to come out on TOP.
The cycle of being blended has now surfaced in my life. My daughter has a bother on her dad's side and I have a son as well. My son is shared with three sisters( 2 from his dad).
This journey has been hard. Are we all adjusting? No! Too many people are involved and are NOT respecting the position of the PARENTS. When to many people are adding their ingredients, the SOUP taste horrible.
When we become adults, we take on the responsibility of our own actions. I know if my parents could change some of my decisions, they would because I surely would. But this is my cup, I poured it so let me sip it. We have to be strong and confident enough to know that we're doing the best we can. And when we receive to much negative feed back, it hinders the process of going forward.
Can tomorrow be better than today? It's possible if we just take the time to pray. And, not only pray when it seems bad, but pray when its good so that God will see our grateful"ness" and keep paving the road for an easy journey.
Ultimately, do I think blended families are bad? NO, I do not. I'm the product of one and now my children are too. Am I trying to make it work? I'm trying my hardest, so please don't HINDER my process.
I'm not asking for anyone's help because I've learned enough on my own being the product of blended. for it has it's good days and bad, smiles and frowns. BUT, I'm happy and the experience has made me stronger.
Blended?? Yes, blended..
Is it right? Who are we to say YES or No?
Riiiiigggght....
I have sisters and brothers. According to the world's standards, they are 1/2 brothers and sisters when you only share the mother and full brothers and sisters when you share the same father. I beg to differ. I LOVE each of my siblings equally. We're definitely all different but as their oldest sister, I feel its my job to love and protect all of them. I remember a few times taking a licking on their behalf( a swift punch to the face defending my sister once and a couple of knockdown drags out defending 3 of my 4 brothers).. To me, definitely worth it.
I still haven't figured out what makes blended families work so well. Is it all the parties involved being on the same page? Is it reassuring the kids that I'm not replacing your other parent, I'm here to provide extra LOVE & SUPPORT? We each posses different beliefs and characteristics.
I know for myself, I LOVE kids without a shadow of doubt. People laugh at me from time to time because one of my fave lines is, "It's for the kids". But, if you know me and know me WELL, you will know this is TRUE( that's a funny sentence huh?)
I believe, we should not transfer our beliefs, misunderstandings, failures and shotcomings onto kids. It's hard enough for them to find their voices and learn to express themselves. But, its even harder when we transfer what we feel onto them, therefore confusing them MORE.
Nothing in life is easy. We will encounter more no's than yes', more stumbling blocks than a few. but, the courage and strength lies within us to come out on TOP.
The cycle of being blended has now surfaced in my life. My daughter has a bother on her dad's side and I have a son as well. My son is shared with three sisters( 2 from his dad).
This journey has been hard. Are we all adjusting? No! Too many people are involved and are NOT respecting the position of the PARENTS. When to many people are adding their ingredients, the SOUP taste horrible.
When we become adults, we take on the responsibility of our own actions. I know if my parents could change some of my decisions, they would because I surely would. But this is my cup, I poured it so let me sip it. We have to be strong and confident enough to know that we're doing the best we can. And when we receive to much negative feed back, it hinders the process of going forward.
Can tomorrow be better than today? It's possible if we just take the time to pray. And, not only pray when it seems bad, but pray when its good so that God will see our grateful"ness" and keep paving the road for an easy journey.
Ultimately, do I think blended families are bad? NO, I do not. I'm the product of one and now my children are too. Am I trying to make it work? I'm trying my hardest, so please don't HINDER my process.
I'm not asking for anyone's help because I've learned enough on my own being the product of blended. for it has it's good days and bad, smiles and frowns. BUT, I'm happy and the experience has made me stronger.
Blended?? Yes, blended..
Is it right? Who are we to say YES or No?
Riiiiigggght....
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