Heather my New mommy friend...: A Survivor...

 When I typically hear the word Cancer, I think of Lung Cancer, Breast Cancer, Throat Cancer, Remission, Pink Ribbons, Chemotherapy, losing hair, losing weight and the ultimate.. DEATH.

 I've seen the St. Jude commercials for young children who are fighting to live, I've supported The Susan G. Komen efforts, my Aunts have fought breast cancer and Won, my daughter's bus driver has started treatment and even I have fought thru what my Doctor, thought was the onset of it developing in my hand. But
never have I had the opportunity to actual read and listen to someone's story until my blog opened up communication between Heather Von St. James and I. After the initial email between Heather and I, I began to read her blog and find out about more about her.
 She's wife to Cameron and Mommy to Lily Rose her only child). Lily Rose is a quirky little girl and she's EVERYTHING to Heather.

She grew up in South Dakota and was a daddy's girl. Her father was a construction worker and when he came home with the white powdery substances on his boots/clothes nobody ever thought anything about it. In 2005, shortly after giving birth to Lily, she began to experience problems with breathing and carried an alarmingly high fever. Later, test showed she had a serious form of Mesothelioma, Asbestos Cancer which was rarely seen in someone her age.

As she and I communicated, she said her biggest worry and concern was, who would care for Lily if she were not there? After talking to some of the best Dr's in the world at Brigham and Women's Hospital, she and her husband traveled to Boston( My hometown) to began the process to remove the bad lung.

I wasn't sure what Heather really wanted from me upon our first initial encounter but as I read more it became clear.. Share with my audience.

I always say, my writing is therapeutic but in this case, I was a vessel used to share awareness. Please click on the link to read more about Heather and find out ways you too can support her and her cause.

http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/heather/

Heather, Thank YOU for reaching out to me. After reading your story, I'm a bit more familiar with this form of cancer as well. Being a voice and supporting others is part of our life's mission. I'm glad I was able to do my part on today~~

You can follow Heather on twitter @heathervsj

The Unlikeliest WAYS.....

 I'm a writer. It's a passion of mine. I can sit and write for days, as long as the mood is there and my hand is hot( a phrase that means so many things in my life). As I reflect on my last few entries, I've talked about a number of things. And with my blogs, I've received quite a few responses from people I know and random readers.

 To my surprise, my last entry received a simple, Hey Can you contact me about your blog, followed by in email in my comment section. First thing I did, was become defensive. In a matter of minutes I go from, I hope this isn't an anti-discipline demonstrator reaching out to me to; I swear I just write what I feel and  people can agree or disagree but don't bring the drama to me( yeah Cheneka was about to surface but I quickly spoke to her and said, Peace be still girl)~~~ LOL

I don't think I responded right away because I wanted to approach the situation delicately. I mean, I totally disregarded the fact that it could've been a parent just reaching out to me for moral support and advice( isn't it awful that most of us tend to expect the worse than looking on the bright side).
 I finally composed my email and added this disclaimer, "I write what I feel and you have the right to disagree or agree".  I never expected this....

Hi Neka! Thanks for the reply! The reason I have reached out to you is because of your blog! I am 43 and a mother to a quirky little 7 year old, Lily. She is my only child, and my whole world. When Lily was just 3 1/2 months old, I was diagnosed with Mesothelioma; a type of cancer that kills 90-95% of those who have it. As I’m sure you can imagine, the first thing that came to mind when I was diagnosed was my baby girl and how I wasn’t going to be able to watch her grow up.

After intense treatment and recovery, I’m still here 6 1/2 years later and cancer free! My journey with cancer was a terrifying one and I'd like to turn my pain into purpose and become someone that other people can look to for guidance, inspiration, and hope in situations like my own. I contacted you because I feel that your blog would be an excellent place for me to share my story. I realize that you may be thinking my story is not exactly a perfect fit for your blog audience, but I’m trying to raise awareness of this horrible little known cancer that is such a deadly killer (and sadly, 100% preventable) 

WOW, wasn't expecting that.. With life, the kids, my business and other obligations I haven't had time to breath.. But, I made a commitment to myself to write more. Why not let my first blog in weeks be about something of importance? My blog audience, I'd like to introduce you to Heather and Lily

Please check back on tomorrow and journey with me to share Heather's story.  Just my luck, a blog about discipline opened my eyes to a Mother who understands the struggle, who has suffered and WON.. And with all she's faced, still has the time to raise a child, who will be a wonderful addition to the world and NOT a Spawn of Chuckie!!! (LOL, no pun intended)

My buddy Heather, tomorrow will be your day to shine unless one of these Spawns of ChUckie tie me up.... NOT~~

Signed~

I met a friend....

YOU spare the rod, YOU fail your child....

I tend to think and feel I'm a very strong Woman. I've endured Natural childbirth, the loss of a child, relocating alone with a then 4 year old, and 6 Ganglion Cyst surgeries( that were thought to be cancerous) on my dominant hand; one would think I've conquered enough. Not to mention, the heart breaks, loves lost and other issues we face as Women, yup I wear my shield and wear it well.

I guess that wasn't enough. I've dealt with working with teens in under privileged areas who thought they could intimidate me, I've dealt with my male teens thinking they could talk to me and I've dealt with parents who felt that i HAD to represent their delinquent children in court. Shall I go on??

I've dealt with little people who've been on various medication too... BUT none of that compared to the little spawn of Chuckie that stepped foot thru my KISS location to receive services on yesterday and today. This little 3 year old tested my nerves and patience in a way that if he were my child he would've gotten a real slap choke( don't judge me)... I understand, I get it that as parents we all have various styles and techniques that work for our families. BUT, a word from the wise, We need to stop setting our children up for failure at such a young age. There comes a point and time that we began the process of preparing our children for daycare and such.

I digress, KISS is NOT a daycare we provide sitter and nanny services ONLY...

We need to prepare them with the tools to succeed. It's not cute for a three year old to run around spitting at and on people, yelling dumba$$ and telling adults, "I don't like you". Sometimes, a child does need a pop or to be sat alone from the group. We need to stay consistent in how we discipline our children. I know and I get it, alot of people do not believe in spanking their children. BUT trust me, I grew up getting them every now and again and I turned out okay. I finished school and I made something of myself. My mom was a single parent raising 4 children on her own and she did what worked for her. YES, things were hard but she was consistent in her parenting.

33 years later, I live to tell about it and I'm a successful WOMAN. I challenge you, to NIP bad behavior before it spirals out of control... Because, if you spare the rod, you spoil the child......