No Judgement here....

 To be or Not to be, that is the question.
 To judge or Not to judge that's the REAL question.

People are quick to say, who am I to judge YOU. However, there's still a slight form of judgement that takes place. This week has been a very trying week for Tameka Foster, ex wife to Artist/Performer Usher Raymond. And, until you're a parent and you've been faced with a decision such as hers( to take your child off life support or let him continue to fight) you'll never understand.

12 years ago, I was in a somewhat similar situation. I was 21 years old, pregnant with my first child and he was diagnosed Congenital Heart Disease Failure. I was in my 6th month of pregnancy and I had to decide whether or not to continue with the pregnancy or have a DNC performed. After talking it over with my then boyfriend and immediate family members, I decided to terminate with a DNC procedure. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make. After having a number of procedures done, it was time to deliver him. We decided that if by any chance little Dahvon came out breathing, we would fight for him to live. I'm glad I serve a forgiving and caring God because he already knew what was best for me and the baby.

A few people did judge my decision and a family member even said "there were never any thoughts to kill YOU". However, until you're faced with a decision as such, refrain from judging. There is only 1 God and 1 Heaven or Hell to put you in.  He makes the ultimate decision. Parents are faced with a number of decisions daily. Some choices and decisions are more drastic than others. But the fact remains, a choice still has to be made and we have to respect what the parent decides.

My thoughts&prayers are with Tameka, Ryan( his biological father), Usher, Kyle's brothers and other family members who are affected by this tragic accident. Little Kyle, God Bless your soul and whatever the final decision may be, God we will accept it and it will be well with our souls~~

Sincerely,
A mom who understands

I PUSH a little Harder...

Since becoming a small Business Owner, I'm learning that in order to be successful, it takes having people who think like you on your team. My 1st year has taught me lessons in finance, determination, commitment, responsibility and friendship. At the end of the day, if you're not strong enough one of them will kill you.

I have developed a greater sense of my self worth and my strengths. Some days I have it all together and some days it's easy to feel that I want to give up.  But I go forth. I'm not working just to establish my name but to establish good work ethics so my children will have something to aspire too.

KISS, was and has operated in my home. It was just a small idea( that I had in my head) that has now grown into over 20+ families being served. I never thought in my wildest dreams I would take something I'm truly passionate about( helping women and caring for kids) and make it into a reality.

What has been the hardest one might ask? I'm learning to separate friendship from business. This has been a lesson that only JESUS himself could help me understand. I'm glad that some strong women have crossed my path along the way and they are helping me to toughen up and realize that, just because we have difference in opinions where services are concerned; after we hash it out we carry on as grown women who are friends.

Today, I'm saluting LIFE... Oh it gets hard. Some days are full of tears, some days are trying and some days there are more successes than failures! YES you WIN some and during that 1st year you LOSE some too. Never under estimate who you are and what you provide. To one person, my services are just plain ole baby sitting( which is it) however, to the next person I'm providing a safe haven, where she's extremely comfortable leaving her son. For every upset, there's a comment like this that makes me Push a little harder...

I didn't know how strong I was until I decided to pay me what I'm worth.. I didn't fully understand my business' value until I had to start looking for a permanent location. You feel your job isn't paying you what you're worth? Make YOUR own position and pay yourself. Become your OWN cheerleader, I did and each day I Push a little harder!!!

I must Continue....

 "The process of closing out one door can be hard if it's not properly closed"....

I can't move, I just can't move! I just need to see her face, I don't know why I vividly remember that line from The color Purple but I do( Random, I know)... After hearing Sunday's message it made sense. That was Miss Celie's way of shutting the door. Sometimes it can be a physical door and sometimes the "door" represents whatever closure we need.

And it hit me, I need to close out a few of my own doors. We all tend to get caught up in feeling like we're past something or we're totally healed until that situation faces us again. It can be something as simple as a bad relationship, or even a good relationship we let turn sour. Sometimes we have to close the door on family, friends, jobs and relationships( just to name a few) that mean us NO GOOD( a door I've walked thru more than once but NEVER properly closed)

I'm learning, it's not that life is all hard, it's just we go thru it carrying so many scars that it makes us hard.Saturday I feel and scrapped both of my knees something serious.. I was walking to the car, holding my son. He made a slight movement I lost MY Balance and down I went... Hmmmmm, such is life. We carry so much un necessary weight until it soon weighs us down and we fall. Saturday, when I lost my balance it happened so quickly that I didn't give myself time to physically lay out in the middle of the parking lot and wail( extra I know), I caught myself, got my strength and got backup. And trust there was an audience ( go figure, a group of teenagers LAWD)... I heard one of the teens say, "ya'll seen that lady fall just now", someone else yelled out and asked if I was ok, me: YES and another asked if the baby was okay( who by the way is 1 and can walk but of course I was rushing so I picked him up) which he was. A mother knows to shield her baby!! As I finished that sentence it hit me, so many of our problems come from carrying grown people... Shoot, we have to let them walk ya'll!!

It's funny but in life we have that same type of meddling audience. However, they ask questions not out of concern but out of being nosey and making sure we're down for the count. Everyone is NOT a cheerleader. and out of 10, 7 will slightly wish the WORST for us anyway.

My Pastor, Dee Murphy said it best on Sunday," we cannot go into tomorrow because previous doors have not been SHUT... and when we SHUT the door we are shutting out ALL of the doubters"...  The worst types of doors the leave open and un attended are the doors that lead to mess.

Today, I'm closing a few doors. What we consider memories are sometimes clouded with thinking we need to keep the person within reach. While I walked this morning, I played my iTunes. I had to go through a number or artist of which I don't listen to, to get to who I was initially looking for. Guess, I need to close the door to some of that music too. Then I thought of my contact list, yeah over 1,000 numbers and 1/2 of those numbers are of no real use to me,I must go on a deleting spree too.

Shutting doors and leaving them SHUT is the only way we properly heal and boldly walk into our tomorrow. Today can only be as strong as the mess we left in our yesterday....

I must continue to be of good courage and strong. I must continue to go where no 1 has gone before( and not space, the Final frontier).. there's a mission with my name on it.. There are people I must help. It's a job that was created for me before Me... and I must continue BUT first let me SHUT these doors....