Lifestyle Maintenance

Late last week, my dash read that I needed to change my oil( technology is amazing in new vehicles). This morning I had downtime so I went to have it done. 

While sitting in the lobby, there were a few others having work performed on their vehicles. This one woman stood out in particular. She was on the phone talking. I continuously heard her saying, " but if you made me aware of your issue, we would not be disagreeing right now". For some reason that stuck with me. 

How many times do we have disagreements or misunderstandings all because we did not provide clarity? Many people laugh/ or do not understand when I ask for clarity. It's not to be a jerk, it's because I need clarity! I'm effective when I understand and if I don't, I will continue with questions. Lol

I'll never forget, it was my 1st semester of college. I was sitting in my Child Development class. We were assessing the way children learn. I'll admit, sometimes I'll indulge in a great debate, I'll also admit, I'll probe just to see how strong you are( I know, petty). Well, on this particular day, I truly didn't understand a point my professor made so I kept asking questions. Right in the midst of my question she says, " Cheneka all you do is ask questions, it's not that many questions in the world". I must admit, the level of disdain I soon carried for this woman was unbelievable. However, when my final grade for that class was an A and she later expressed she felt I'd be a phenomenal teacher, I knew I'd done something right. Where ever you are Professor Ravitha Amarethinsan(spelling is horrible but in my head I'm saying it right), thank you! 

In life, many areas of our lives will require constant maintenance. A sisterfriend and I were talking about relationships last week and the grass appearing to be greener somewhere else. We have to take care of what's been given to us, or even the hands we've been dealt because we either chose it, or it's our lot in this life. 

Somethings will require more work and if we feel it's worth it, we're going to fight for it. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to work on, or even fix any relationship/ project that you've walked away from. In order for every part to fall in sync, it all has to mesh and work together. We can't expect our cars to run without gas, we can't expect relationships to work without communication. Today, I'm going to be better by doing better. You do the same, you hear?!! 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

I'm Trust Worthy....

Lessons in honesty... It's Easter weekend, YAY!! Growing up, it was huge to get a new Easter outfit, hat and matching gloves( not the clearest pic but it's me) 

Once I became of age where my voice mattered and I could style myself my way, I became a bit more laid back. My church here in GA is quite amazing because there's no real emphasis put on what you wear. 

In keeping with tradition, I do purchase my little people outfits but they are so laid back because our life is laid back. 

Today as we searched high and low for the perfect converse for my daughter, we couldn't find them. We found a few that I liked and she didn't, we found a few she liked but didn't fit right. The night was drawing near and my body was finally shutting down( I got off work at 6:30 this am), I told Li, "hey, I'm getting tired so if we don't find a pair now, I'm sorry but you'll have to figure it out".. She soon found the perfect pair( but we had to change her entire outfit which was ok). 

We stood in line to pair for her shoes and son's shoes. I didn't pay attention, I just swiped my card and put their shoes in my reusable bag and left the store. As we left out there was beeping but I paid it no mind because others walked out with us. 

As we proceeded back to our vehicle, my gut told me to check the shoes. I'm so glad I did because there was a beeper on them. I pulled out the receipt and to my dismay, the associate did NOT charge me for them but gave me both pair and said I was all set. 

My daughter's eyes became glossy ( and not that I contemplated to keep going) and I too was a bit nervous. We walked back into the store and another associate saw us and said,"come here ma'am I'll remove the beeper".. I said, " wait, I'm back to pay. The other associate didn't charge me". He gave me a look of pure amazement and then offered an employee discount for my honesty. 

My Lovies, we should always practice what we teach our children. I also look for teachable lessons with my little people. Sometimes, it's better for them to see us in action vs us always just telling them. As I celebrate Resurrection Weekend, I'm reminded how much my savior loves me. I'm ever thankful for his life and sacrifice. Because of him an honest life is easy( still have its ups and downs tho) to live... Because thieves hung with him, I do not have to steal... I'm thankful that in every situation, my integrity speaks for itself!

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

And I Still win....

This has been a trying week to say the least... I've wanted to scream, cry, cuss, fight.. It's funny how situations can take us out of our element of Peace and Tranquility. 

Last Sunday, my Spiritual Father said in his message, " this will be the week that the devil will try us", but just hold on. 

I can't express enough that I have an amazing circle but this week, I had to literally shut up, encourage myself, make boss decisions and keep looking to the sky. This week, my level of Faith was tested, my Parience was tested( which by the way, someone said to me: you seem to be a person who has it together but I sense you need to work on your level of patience just a little more, keep working your good is coming".. Mind you, I. Did. Not. Know. Him... )

This week, I questioned my own worthiness, my level of accomplishments and my life in general.. 

But oh the Joy that came when I received the quote pictured above. I'm never ever counted out and I have to stop beating myself us. 

Life will definitely throw lemons but when you learn to catch them, squeeze them and produce amazing lemonade; its in that moment you have conquered and won. 

Today my Lovies, stop questioning your existence and your life. You're here for a reason. You're not moving at the pace of others because it's not your lane. Be confident in who you are and watch how you'll soon move right along in this life. 

Be your own cheerleader, sometimes the best push is the one you give yourself.. #YourGotThis

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

I Bring Peace....

Happy Saturday!! Hey my Lovies, it's been a while since I've blogged. I've been living and not in a bad way. Growing, closing doors and walking through new ones. 

My Friday and Saturday nights are now spent with a new group of kids. I must admit, at first I did not want to get to know these kids. In my heart, they did not compare to my Boston babies. My Boston babies taught me the importance of being a voice, speaking up in the gang ridden communities, fighting for equality, speaking out against minimum wage. 

This new group, they come from money. I mean what could possible go wrong in their families? They have financial freedom? All of that changed lastnight as one of the young men truly shared what was on his heart. 

Have you ever just sat and listened to the youth? Do you take moments to actively listen to them without being judgemental? Did you know they go through it? They get discouraged and they feel that they're talked at and not talked too? 

As my student talked, my heart went out to him. As he talked about his family, I thought of my own families. As he talked about what he feels could work at the school, I thought about how as adults we miss the mark because we think we know it all. 

As it neared the time for him to go to his room, I asked what was his favorite candy. As I spent time with my daughter today, by choice I grabbed a bag of skittles for him. Li asked, "Mommy are those for you"? I responded, "No, for one of the youth at my school".. 

My intent is not to cover up what he feel, not to find answers for his numerous questions BUT to be a trustworthy adult in his life. My intent is to build a bond, be a voice and be balance. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to listen with your ears and stop listening to respond. We get caught up in being adults that we forget we made mistakes and at one point we wanted to be heard and valued. 

Tonight when I walk on campus, I come with listening ears and skittles... 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka 

I'm Every Woman...

I've struggled to put this particular blog into words. I went as far as to reach out to one of my writer sistergirls to get her thoughts. I was thinking to do a "Spotlight" then I figured maybe a "Feature". Then it hit me, this is just as much my story as hers because she's my Aunt. One of my mother's closest sisters. 

Meet my Aunt Tric'e, Author of No Longer will I hide the Stranger in my Bed. In this book, she holds back nothing and she's shares intimate parts of her life. 

I remember her wedding like it was yesterday. She married in this huge church and she looked like a Princess. Who knew that night she'd suffer at the hands of her husband. I mainly remember her wedding because I wanted to marry her then husband with a huge wedding in Disney ( I was all of 5 or 6 years old). Growing up, even as a child, their marriages seemed so glamorous. He was an organist and she was a psalmist. They traveled the entire East Coast singing together. 

As years progressed, it all still seemed peachy until she announced to the family what was really happening behind closed doors and filed for divorce( you must purchase her book to get the full 

scoop). I've always believed that in some cases children make it better but in her case, she was barren and that itself caused her to suffer thoughts of never being enough.. 

As I look back on my Aunt's life, I commend her for being as strong as she was. She smiled and lived off $10 and never skipped a beat. She raised her children and never ever lost her Faith. 

So many things go undiscussed because we do not want to be judged. The real test is when you can share your story and help others. Currently, she's preparing her second memoir and celebrating her book being released on Kindle for electronic purchase. 

Stay tuned and keep your eyes open for Patricia Hobbs- Williams. 

My Lovies, abuse of any kind is abuse. While it's mainly women who suffer, I've learned that men are silent sufferers as well. I urge you to never allow yourself to be anyone's punching bag with their words, physical punches or unsolicited sexual abuse. We ARE each other's voices, stories and sisters. We are Everyone! Thank You Aunti, for becoming a voice against abuse. 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka, the niece of a Survivor 

Happy Birth Week Dr. Seuss

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is truer than YOU". ~ Dr. Seuss 

To truly know me is to know, I absolutely positively love everything about Motherhood.. Some days it's hard but for the most part, it's rewarding! 

This week is Dr. Seuss week at my son's school. My children have been super blessed to attend really great preSchools. Their teachers have played significant roles in their early development and I'll forever be grateful. 

Lastnight, along with my daughter( for moral support) and my niece, we were able to pull of my son's Cat in the Hat attire. I'm definitely not artistic but I can delegate and bring ideas to life lol... I colored my life away LASTNIGHT and it was super fun. My day is super busy so anytime I'm able to spend with my children makes my heart happy. 

My son was super stoked and ready to get dressed this am( one would think we would've made it out the house on time but we were late), we even did a live broadcast on my Periscope( I'm really trying to get better, bare with me guys)!

We arrived at his school and what should've been a simple volunteer morning with his class, turned into me reading books to the other pre school classes. To have the flexibility some mornings, is just what the doctor ordered. Most moms and even dads( hip hip hooray to the single dads who read and subscribe) are super busy and some days there are not enough hours.. 

I'm grateful to his amazing teachers, Mrs. Anne and Mrs. Pavanah who go above and beyond to help my son achieve greatness. 

And here's to Dr. Seuss!! I learned the importance of reading at a young age because his books were fun, colorful and easy to comprehend. I strongly urge all of my readers to add a few Dr. Seuss books to your home libraries. You'll thank me later.. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to take a moment or 2 and read a Dr. Seuss book this week. The joys of childhood are ever present, it's up to us to always share them with our little people. 

Signed, 

Simply Cheneka