It WON'T Be this way forever...

This morning I woke up in a FUNK...

I mean it was something serious. I spazzed out and before I knew it, I was sitting in the middle of the floor looking at myself in the mirror doing the ugly cry( when I got a real good glimpse I made a mental note to myself, get dressed today girl, NO lounge pants)...They say tears water our souls, well I practically had a flood... I'm sure it was a well overdue cry. You know, we walk around with so much bottled in that when we finally let it out, it's an explosion...

I was a bomb of illegal firecrackers..( yup, just horrible), everything I could think of was running rampant..
                                            "God, why this, God, why that"...

When I finished with all of my questions to God, I heard him say, " Daughter, I'm here... I've never left you and stop letting the cares of the world make you feel less than".. You are more than enough"..

Wow, me? I'm more than enough?
 Sometimes, our insecurities( yes, I admit I have a few) will sometimes get the best of us and before we know it, we're beating ourselves up. I'll be 35 next month. While I've accomplished SOOOO much, there's still so much more I want to do. I'm a stickler for setting a time frame to have things completed in my life and after the birth of my son, it seems that things went in a total different direction.

Am I complaining, No because each task has been good for me. Oh, alot of them hurt but it didn't kill me. Alot left me speechless but I didn't lose my voice. It was in the quiet and stillness of my room that I understood WHY...

We make choices and decisions that sometimes make no sense( except to us) to the people around us. In these 4 years, I've learn the importance of following my own dreams and living my own life. We never depart with what we've been taught but as you live a little and make mistakes along the way; you learn.

I've learned so much about me. As I embrace what 35 will bring me, I'm FEARLESS. For so long I've been so fearful but God's voice reminded me," I took you from a place of comfort to where not a soul but a few cousins and your daughter's extended family knew YOU and  YOU survived".

God, I hear you... But was I reaaaaaally hearing him? Then he reminded me, I took you off a job that did not pay you YOUR worth to being a Business Owner. Not only am I a Business Owner but I'm operating in my call, helping women and children. So many women have come to me broken and together we've found their strength. Now is not the time to buckle CHENEKA( yeah, that's my government name)....

To each of you who will cross this blog today, it's going to be okay. Cry if you must, yell and scream too. Remember, God will still be there and it won't be this way forever. Everyday won't be sunshine and some days won't be as bright as others. The challenge is to get thru it and PRAY.. Praying makes the difference and know OUR FATHER listens and cares.. And when you can't find the words to pray, write them down or ask someone you trust to pray and cover you..( thanks Karm)

I'm not going to lie and say I'm 100% better right now but I'm smiling... I'm loved, appreciated, honored and supported... This to Shall Pass!

Signed,
It won't be this way forever...