I woke up, with the anticipation of getting to church on my heart. I attend a wonderful church here in Atlanta, and I know God directed my steps there purposely( The dReam Center Church of Atlanta, Pastors William and Danielle Murphy).. I'm not as close to my Pastors as I would like to be, but their Spirit, Love and Zeal is what draws me. They are passionate about helping others walk and manifest in their "dReams" and I get and understand that now.
June 14th, we started on our Daniel Fast at church. We are fasting to to promote a healthier lifestyle, a Deeper walk with Christ and for the Success of our Full Gospel Conference. I went into this Fast strong and with alot of confidence, who knew the blows I was going to take along the way.
Each time I prayed, it was like I was unloading alot on God, but in actuality I wasn't unloading I was Releasing.. Sometimes, though it may seem hard we have to learn to just release things. We have the misconception that everything presented to us is good, when sometimes its not. I released unto God my fears, and while doing so he filled me with more Confidence in Him. Not only did I have to release myself and condition my thinking, some people places and things had to release me.. In the midst of hurt, our truest Praise and deeper understanding takes fold. Every experience is not a bad one, but it does pave the way for Better!
Along with Releasing, we also have to refocus. We think we know and understand it all, but along the way we lose vital pieces of life. Refocusing is not a bad thing, it just helps you to get back to whats important. I HAVE to refocus on my Relationship with God, and if I do that all the other focus in various" Relationships" he will help me. I'm learning that I tend to try and help God out and he doesn't need my help. He's all knowing and his plans are far more greater than what I could even imagine. As we become accustomed to have something, we have to always remember if its not dedicated and permanent it an and will be removed.
Once you are able to Refocus, you will be at a place where you can Rethink some decisions you've made along the way. While all decisions are NOT bad ones, there are some that we could've put more thought and care into. I'm realizing that GOD has to stay centerfold in every decision I make along the way. He hasn't bought me this far to fail, nor to be a fool. To actually sit and rethink is a good place to be. It is during those times you can measure your growth and compare notes you've taken. I'm looking at it this way, doors and opportunities that have been closed are stepping stones for new ones to open. The bad ones were there for a reason, to Set us up and position us for the Best, that's definitely on its way.
Above all, I've repented. And to repent isn't always a bad thing. I'm quick to ask God to forgive me for the wrong I've said, for the bad thoughts too..But, can I honestly say I've asked God to forgive me during those times I didn't truly trust in him? Have I fully repented for the times I allowed the wrong things to enter into my body( which is the temple)? And those wrong things can consist of being in the wrong atmosphere, eating and drinking things that are not healthy, letting people speak bad into your life and accepting it?
It's definitely hard being a woman... Especially a Christian Woman. I'm at a place where I only want to depend on God. Man has failed me enough. I'm learning God has the final say in everything and when my faith is full and I'm fasted and prayed up in him, He's going to allow me to walk, live and be free in him. All blessings come from him. I'm finally arriving to that place where its okay to just be Neka!
In so many words where our heart, love and life is concerned..It's just down right CRAZY..
We get to the point where we've experienced enough hurts and pains that we just want to turn cold, We want to be free, but the restraints of pleasing others and living up to their expectations has somewhat made you lose sense of you...
I'm no longer there..
My Fast came just in time for this phase of my life. I'm also reading The Super Natural Power of a Transformed Mind, and everything up to this point in my life has been super natural..I relocated, started a few new projects and finally finished composing my journal( keep me in prayer, searching for a publisher isn't easy)...I'm surely thinking on the lines of transformed... Had a couple of boulders thrown at me, BUT by the Grace of God I ducked before they knocked my head off..
July 4th will conclude our Daniel Fast. I didn't do this fast to be seen or for show, I did it because I'm ready to go to that next level. The world will celebrate July 4th as their Independence Day.. So will I!
I will celebrate my Indepedence in God!! I'm Free to live, Clap my hands and worship him!! I'm Celebrating because through every heartache and pain, It's okay, through every disappointment there comes that assurance that something better is over the Horizon!
What a difference it makes to be a woman finally being so hidden in God that it takes another Hidden person to find my spirit!!
A Day in the Life of a Woman, Loving It!
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