What a difference; A day in the life a Woman

I woke up, with the anticipation of getting to church on my heart. I attend a wonderful church here in Atlanta, and I know God directed my steps there purposely( The dReam Center Church of Atlanta, Pastors William and Danielle Murphy).. I'm not as close to my Pastors as I would like to be, but their Spirit, Love and Zeal is what draws me. They are passionate about helping others walk and manifest in their "dReams" and I get and understand that now.

June 14th, we started on our Daniel Fast at church. We are fasting to to promote a healthier lifestyle, a Deeper walk with Christ and for the Success of our Full Gospel Conference. I went into this Fast strong and with alot of confidence, who knew the blows I was going to take along the way.

Each time I prayed, it was like I was unloading alot on God, but in actuality I wasn't unloading I was Releasing.. Sometimes, though it may seem hard we have to learn to just release things. We have the misconception that everything presented to us is good, when sometimes its not. I released unto God my fears, and while doing so he filled me with more Confidence in Him. Not only did I have to release myself and condition my thinking, some people places and things had to release me.. In the midst of hurt, our truest Praise and deeper understanding takes fold. Every experience is not a bad one, but it does pave the way for Better!

Along with Releasing, we also have to refocus. We think we know and understand it all, but along the way we lose vital pieces of life. Refocusing is not a bad thing, it just helps you to get back to whats important. I HAVE to refocus on my Relationship with God, and if I do that all the other focus in various" Relationships" he will help me. I'm learning that I tend to try and help God out and he doesn't need my help. He's all knowing and his plans are far more greater than what I could even imagine. As we become accustomed to have something, we have to always remember if its not dedicated and permanent it an and will be removed.

Once you are able to Refocus, you will be at a place where you can Rethink some decisions you've made along the way. While all decisions are NOT bad ones, there are some that we could've put more thought and care into. I'm realizing that GOD has to stay centerfold in every decision I make along the way. He hasn't bought me this far to fail, nor to be a fool. To actually sit and rethink is a good place to be. It is during those times you can measure your growth and compare notes you've taken. I'm looking at it this way, doors and opportunities that have been closed are stepping stones for new ones to open. The bad ones were there for a reason, to Set us up and position us for the Best, that's definitely on its way.

Above all, I've repented. And to repent isn't always a bad thing. I'm quick to ask God to forgive me for the wrong I've said, for the bad thoughts too..But, can I honestly say I've asked God to forgive me during those times I didn't truly trust in him? Have I fully repented for the times I allowed the wrong things to enter into my body( which is the temple)? And those wrong things can consist of being in the wrong atmosphere, eating and drinking things that are not healthy, letting people speak bad into your life and accepting it?

It's definitely hard being a woman... Especially a Christian Woman. I'm at a place where I only want to depend on God. Man has failed me enough. I'm learning God has the final say in everything and when my faith is full and I'm fasted and prayed up in him, He's going to allow me to walk, live and be free in him. All blessings come from him. I'm finally arriving to that place where its okay to just be Neka!

In so many words where our heart, love and life is concerned..It's just down right CRAZY..
We get to the point where we've experienced enough hurts and pains that we just want to turn cold, We want to be free, but the restraints of pleasing others and living up to their expectations has somewhat made you lose sense of you...
I'm no longer there..

My Fast came just in time for this phase of my life. I'm also reading The Super Natural Power of a Transformed Mind, and everything up to this point in my life has been super natural..I relocated, started a few new projects and finally finished composing my journal( keep me in prayer, searching for a publisher isn't easy)...I'm surely thinking on the lines of transformed... Had a couple of boulders thrown at me, BUT by the Grace of God I ducked before they knocked my head off..

July 4th will conclude our Daniel Fast. I didn't do this fast to be seen or for show, I did it because I'm ready to go to that next level. The world will celebrate July 4th as their Independence Day.. So will I!
I will celebrate my Indepedence in God!! I'm Free to live, Clap my hands and worship him!! I'm Celebrating because through every heartache and pain, It's okay, through every disappointment there comes that assurance that something better is over the Horizon!

What a difference it makes to be a woman finally being so hidden in God that it takes another Hidden person to find my spirit!!

A Day in the Life of a Woman, Loving It!

The gReatest moments

We all have various moments where we feel, Ah, this is it.. There is no other feeling greater than what I'm feeling now..
Marriage, birth of a child, career change, graduation: we all have various greatest moments...
I have many greatest moments: and trust me the birth of my daughter is right at the top,but as I sit and look back over my life, my gReatest moment came the day I decided..God, you may take everything, every handbag, every piece of tiffany jewelry, my car, my apartment..EVERYTHING..But if I can wake up tomorrow stress FREE with no drama living for you..I'll do it.

Greatest moments are not defined based on how we come out, they are defined by our mindset upon going into "battle". I have a bad habit of thinking about thinking.. And well after I've done the thinking process, I still speak without thinking..LOL..
I said that to say, even with full preparation and thoughts, sometimes we have to expect the unexpected.
We have to expect to get hurt to fully appreciate LOVE.
We have to expect to be lied on to appreciate when the truth is revealed and we shock them.
We have to expect a few disappointents to appreciate the reward.

People, sucess, money,our images...They will NOT define our gReatest moments, wewill.
Always be ina position where the next person can say",He/She did so can I"..

There is NOTHING unattainable, it just takes a willing heart..
There is NOTHING unachieveable, it just takes a willing mind..
There is NOTHING unacceptable, it just takes a willing soul to find the BEST!!!

Today, vow to find yourself in a place where the sky is truly your limit..Looking to the stars because in you, I see gReatNESS!!
BeEncouraged, Be Inspired!!

Didn't ASK to be here!

I grew up in a household with 3 brothers ,and as much as my mother tried to shield them and keep them from getting into the streets,it happened anyway.

Now, all 3 of my brothers are grown with boys of their own. And, the reality of it is, because of some of the bad choices they made growing up, my nephews had to take a few hits.. This isn't a note to blame anyone, its more so of a wake up call... I follow the news back home( Boston) just because I have a number of friends and former colleagues who work the mean streets..I want society to wake up. We need to stop kiling each other, throwing out hard sentences when in actuality, some people are in search of love!

The message is clear,, until we mend broken families and treat each other with respect, the Black Race will continually lack strong black men.

Alot of these men who are suffering...
"Didn't ASK to be HERE"

I was born into a world that had already condemned me..
Born to a woma( excuse me GIRL) who was already catergorized as
Single,
Black,
Uneducated,
and Lazy...

I didn't ask for my father NOT to care..
I didn't ask for these Jordans and neglect the fact I was failing in school.
I didn't ask to go to Disney World when we were about to be put out of our home.
I didn't ask for the nintendo 64 when, all I wanted was my Father and to be loved by HIM..
Knowing him could've and most likely would've made the difference..
But, since it was only YOU and you worked alot.. I had to become a latchkey kid and learn surival on my own.
I didn't ask to repeat 5th grade,I didn't ask to be home alone,
I didn't ask to be introduced to gangs, guns or drugs all by 10!
I surely didn't ask to be a father by 16 and repeat the cycle.

It's hard watching my brothers( men who I know have been hit by the judicial sysyem), Its hard knowing they didn't ask for the cards they were dealt.
...

I'm NOT giving UP~ going to keep on striving and moving ahead.. Taking my message of understanding of Peace and sharing it with everyone...
Hoping, someone will listen, someone will care..
Care enough to save me from the streets because it has become my mechanism of Survival..

There's a change coming, and I so ant to be apart of it.. I'm understanding now its going to happen with or without ME~
I didn't ask to be here,
Didn't Ask to be alive,
But since I am,
Can someone give me a positive male who cares and will help me stay on track?
Because I Didn't ask to be HERE~

My hope and prayer is for EVERYONE to wake up.We have to stop pointing fingers and just take charge.. We have to want better in orderto produce better!

Be Encouraged,
Be Inspired!

The best therapy is to LAUGH...

" I almost laughed at her, nope PUNCHED her"...I keep trying to not let her get the best of me but she goes up my body and down the other side, leaving every hair standing up..."MONICA" I exclaimed! What Goddy, she answered? I tell ya, conversations with my 16 year old god-daughter are a bit much, I have an instant headache upon hanging up with her... But its funny, some of the same issues she's facing as a teenager, as a grown woman I encounter them too,only difference I've learned people will ONLY do what We allow them to do!

It's funny how we let people get the best of us. And most of the time, they trigger our nerves because they know what buttons to push. I'm reminded of an incident in my own life where it really took some soul searching for me to calm down and realize, there are some people in the world who will do things to us just to be spiteful. There own insecurities and jealousies will allow them to pick at you because of the confidence you elude in whatever area it is they are bothering you.It's up to us to realize their motives and either learn to ignore them or continue to give them the upper hand.

I'm learning that the energy I put off, will be the same energy I get.. We are like magnets.. We connect people who are like us..If we lay with dogs we certainly rise with fies, but if we lay with stars, we take off too( if your mindset is there).

We cannot allow each and every person, place or thing to take us off our path. We cannot allow our selves to be subjected to things we cannot benefit and grow from. Our mission should be to keep reaching and aiming for stars. I don't want to walk in anyone else's shoes because my foot print is unique in its own way and I plan to leave my own mark on the world! But, I can reach and aim for stars because each star has its own unique twinkle, patiently waiting for me to make it shine!

Today, I challenge each of you to whole heartedly laugh AT THE NEXT PERSON WHO STEPS INSIDE YOUR WORLD AND TRIES TO CAUSE HAVOC!!! Laugh until they think you are crazy, so crazy that they in turn check themself!!

I do NOT want to be known as the person who explodes everytime someone tries me, I don't want to be looked upon as a woman who cannot control her feelings and one who is filled with insecurities.
I'm a strong woman, who knows what I want and what it takes to get there and if it takes laughing in the face of adversity everytime, well let the laugh off begin!!!

Be Encouraged, Be Inspired!!

Who are YOU that I must Prove my Name, You just testify of my Goodness!

Yesterday started off like any other day. I woke up, pRayed, showered and proceeded to prepare for my day! I got mini up, dressed her and we left. She was picked up and I proceeded on to work with no feelings of confusion or anything. I had just had a very relaxing weekend, with some much needed rest so I was "Good" as some would say. I think if i had any funny feelings, it would have prepared me for what I was about to see.

I walked into work and was given the new summer hours and schedule for my facility- I ALMOST swore! I had been cut 5 hours! Are you serious?I felt that aggressive Northern edge about to take flight, and that chick CHENEKA was about to surface, But I thought about it. Not only did GOD allow me to relocate from Massachusetts with my daughter and fully furnish a 2 bedroom apartment home with EVERYTHING brand new and PAID for, and live off my savings and part-time work from home for 6 months... I'm serving a GOD that's higher than MAN!! I'm serving a God that, not matter at the end of the day he truly has me, he has not forgotten about me and never had any intentions on forgetting. He didn't order my steps and remove me from the familiar and place me in a place to fail.

More than anything I was hurt. Any and everything I do, I do it with passion and full pledged commitment. Anything that I'm passionate about, I give my all. Working with youth, teaching, showing them right from wrong and giving back is my ultimate Goal in life. I've worked in this area of true compassion for over 17 years of my life.
I worked my 3 hours, shared a few worked with my director and left the building. Funny thing about me, when I'm feeling overwhelmed and like my back is against the wall, I bReak and cry. BUT NOT TODAY! God would NOT let me. I took care of my business! Not understanding WHY, but God has strategically placed me on EVERY path since my transformation and relocation to Atlanta began. He has placed certain people in my life for a reason- and he let that reason be made manifest unto me on yesterday.
Today, I challenge each of you to conquer a tough situation and testify of God's grace and goodness during the process. Watch, he'll do the miraculous. I'm looking at my situation with eyes wide open because I know my King's next move is going to blow my mind and all the pawns in the court!
I'm NOT suffering nor will my mini and I go without! My same life style will continue and everything I've touched and claimed for us will happen!! I'm a King's kid and at my worst, You will still get my BEST!!
Be Encouraged, Be Inspired!
( side note, if you notice the R is capitalized in some words, please read the Book of Isaiah chapter 58, verse 12 for clarity and understanding)

Can't Stop Me, Can't Break Me!!

... I looked at her and rolled my eyes.. Hmmm, this chick has got to be crazy thinking that's going to kill me or block what I've been ordained to do!! I looked at her and said, " Is that your best shot"??

Have you ever placed yourself in the shoes of David as he battled up against Goliath? There have been plenty of days where because people don't understand me and WHHO I really am, they misjudge me!!!

I've finally come to the realization that, its not me per say, its the confidence I elude.. It's the determination I have in my eyes and the unstoppable FEAR of Success in my HEART...

I'm not looking to be successful and claim it for me and mines, BUT I want to help and give back to others...So many times, our missions and dReams are lost because we are going down the wrong road..I'm constantly reminded of this woman I know. I met her thru a social networking site. We became really close friends and prayer partners from time to time..

Every once in a while, she'd call me and have meltdowns and we would pray about it, talk situations over and keep it moving. Things had even got the the point where she was just plain tired! But, she never once said, "God has forgotten about me"..

She is now a very successful children's party planner! I said that to say, we sometimes have to get in the mindset that no mater what is thrown at us, We won't stopand we cannot and will not BREAK..

The worst part about a dReam, is waking up to realize you have not made any attempts to make it into a reality! However, dReams are dreamt to become a reality.. There have been times where I've started to question my passion and what i'm doing, but its in that moment I'm reminded, the longer you work for ME, allowing ME to lead and guide you, I will keep you right in MY perfect will!!

Today, i'm going hard because that's all I know to do..
I go hard because I'm learning that my voice is the voice of so many women in the world. Alot of us are looking for that push, that comforting word and to hear, "I Support you". The reality of it is, some of us will never hear it. We have to make up in our mind that, no matter what, we will go after our dReam!!

Don't let the baggage of the world break your back. Knock that mess off and say...
" Can't Stop Me, Can't Break me..I'm a Jesus Serving Bad girl...Pop your collar, let'em know..The Best is Yet to come!

Be Encouraged, Be Inspired!