And we say Goodbye...

Yesterday evening was quite entertaining to say the least. Like always girlchild and boychild had a disagreement but it ended differently this go round. My son decided because of lack "RESPECT", he was going to run away. He packed his bookbag with his toothbrush, pajamas and all of his treasured hotwheels cars( he has about 100).

Once I noticed what he was trying to do, I stopped what I was doing and I got on his level and talked to him. "Son, I would be extremely sad if you left how would you survive"? For every question I asked, his 6 year old little mind had a formulated, well thoughout answer, even down to his survival mechanism and his way of escape( calling uber).

Once I got him settled and unpacked, we sat together and watched a few of his favorite shows together.I reminded him that he's loved and I would be heart broken if he left.  I left the living area and retreated to my room. Aha peace & quiet. As the night settled, I went back into the living room to check on him and he had fallen fast asleep on the couch holding his tablet.

This morning, I woke early. It was quiet and during those times its when God speaks to me best. After I prayed, I began to think of all the men and women I know who pack up and run. They run from responsibilities, they run to get away from people, they run to avoid issues, they run from change. The list goes on and on... Why is it so easy to run? What in life is so hard to face? As I replayed the disagreement between my children, my son ran because he felt my daughter didn't respect him. I thought, he's 6 what does he know about respect? And it hit me, he knows enough in his mind when he's not being heard and valued. He knows enough to leave a situation where he's not ok. How many people do we know who do this? I can name a few. Hell, if we're honest we can all see a piece of ourselves in bad situations where we decide to leave.

And like a ton of bricks, it hit me.  As adults, we say goodbye prematurely without fully thinking it through. And because of that, in turn pass the "Goodbye" trait to our children.  I know during my transition from Boston to Atlanta, I kept reminding myself I wasn't leaving out of fear but I was leaving what was familiar to branch out and see what else the world had to offer. Yes, there was some hurt assocaiated with it but 8 years later, I can honestly say it was for my good 100%..

(Figurtively speaking) Had my son left, it would've been extremely hard for him. There was no bank account attached to his uber app, he had no food, no money and he didn't attempt to talk it through. THAT'S exactly what adults do.

So my lovies, today I challenge you to no longer clamour up but face those goodbyes. Face those hard places, Face your fears, your hurts, misunderstandings and even lies that may have been told on you or even to you. I've learned, in order for me to be WHOLE, I had to and have to face issues that I would so much rather avoid. Is it to rehash old wounds? Not at all. Who really wants to pull a scab off  a sore? Not me BUT if its going to corrct the issue and allow for the proper healing to take place, I'm for it.

After my AHA moment, I had to face a goodbye this morning. Did I want to? Not really. did it cause an uprorar, slightly but it did open the door for healing and peace. This adult life isn't all that bad once you bagan to face goodbyes, live a life of honesty and truth and allow the rivers of peace to flow in your space.

We're only as WHOLE as the last goodbye we didn't allow ourselves to heal from. Broken still works but only when you've found a way to put yourself together again, stronger.

This road isn't always easy but there's always a lesson... Don't say goodbye if it can be fixed. Only say goodbye and mean it when it will no longer affect you...


Signed,
The page has turned~~

But I wasn't looking at YOU....

My lovely people, its been a while and I have missed thee so. Life has been busy for me but that's no excuse.
I now have a 13 year old and a 6 year old. Let's just say, I'm really on my toes these days with the 6 year old. Full of lessons, fun and tears. To think, I ever doubted myself in this role of raising a son is absolutely crazy. God has given me strength that I never knew exsisted. His father and I have come a very long way and for that I'm extremely grateful. (We still disagree from time to time but it's healthy in order to be great co-parents and friends).

He and his sister argue like strangers in the night but I would'nt have it any other way. They are the loves of my life, not my whole life though because I believe the right man is enroute.. Yeah, I'm a bit more optimistic these days. I've always had a type but as I'm growing and maturing more, my type hasn't always worked, causing me to be more open to others... I'm sure a blog or 2 will come to pass sooner than later...

I do have a question though..... How do you respond to, " What are you looking at"? When my son gets in trouble, he's quick to ask his sister what is she looking at. Being the quick teenager she is, like clock work she responds, "Not you".. When I tell you its funny to me, I crack up every time.. BUT what about when a man says it, how does it make you feel? Do you feel slighted, does it anger you? Do you feel dissed?? I try mybest to ignore when men try to grab my attention. Sometimes, I'm just not up for the foolishness. Recently, a guy said to me, "Ms or MRS"? I thought, miss me with this bull... I digress


I was talking to a guy friend and he proceeded to tell me about a misunderstanding that went south. He was at the gas station and he happen to be looking back(missing a few bits and pieces) and 2 women assumed he was looking at them. LOng story short, he wasnt and they proceeded to act like donkeys, yelling and cursing. They even pulled outh their phones and started recording!!MA'AM!!!

 Women, do we sometimes act foolish for no reason and men, do you sometimes add salt to injury with a hard cold diss??

It happens more than it should but ladies, all men aren't looking at us. And men, just because we acknowledge you doesn't mean we want you.

When I see a handsome man or even a beautiful woman, because I'm secure in who I am: I have no issue with complimenting them. I'll take it even further, I may not even be checking you out physically, I may be drwan to how you're dressed. I love to see well dressed men and I love to see well dressed women. It gives me ideas on how to arrange pieces in my closet and a well dressed man gives me hope....sighhhh

As we get older, our approach with the opposite sex changes. We're either attracted to them or we're not. We may look but it's not always a situation where we want to touch. We may wink only
 because they smiled or nodded. Let's stop confusing every man as a boy raging with hormones and
men stop assuming you're going to get it just because.

I may not have been looking at you to get with you but I was checking you out!! Let's admit it and move forward..

Signed,
Blogging for the mature and sexy