30 days...

Lastnight as I sat in the airport, I thought of my life. There has been a revolving door with people entering. And the sad part about it, many have left their baggage with me. While most would be mad, I've come to the realization it's time I dump this stuff MySelf. Asking people to take ownership is like pulling teeth. I will own my OWN mishaps and let it go.

The next phase of my life fully depends on my ability to began the process of healing myself. Most people start this process after bad break ups, divorces etc... That's great and commendable. But my process stems from harboring resentment,bad feelings &unresolved relationships etc.. 

Today, I no longer want to be Her. I no longer want to carry this weight. I'm not bitter but I'm definitely NOT better. Today, I want to start the journey of embracing better. Today, I want to began the process of healing myself. How can one do that? It starts with forgiving Yourself. 

We've all been hurt before. And if you're like me, rather than facing the hurt you've covered it up with something else. Today, I'm letting go. I physically began the process by removing some items out of my home: Closure. I also started a journal to keep track of my own growth. Somethings you cannot share with others, they just won't understand. Today begans the journey of Cheneka living a fulfilled life, with no pretense & no expectations of others. 

Yesterday I allowed raw emotions to take me to a place that acknowledged I need to be healed. 

My loves, my journey may not be yours and that's ok. The thing is we all have something we're battling. I totally encourage you to journey with me on your own path of healing. 

Signed, 

Day 1, I cried 

Lessons

I was once told that I write best when I'm hurt. Today, I beg to differ, I write the best when I've learned a lesson. Personal lessons are definitely ones that stay with you the longest. 

I was reminded that Life is the ultimate teacher. Each lesson comes with a small price to pay. Some lessons are valued at a penny and others, there's no value equivalent to the lesson you learn. 

 Today, I learned that it's more important to value yourself than to expect someone to acknowledge your worth. We're worth the truth and no lies, we're worth more than Im sorry and I'll do better. 

As I shed a few tears today, for once they did NOT come from a place of pain but a sincere place of closure. I'm a natural born fixer but I'm learning that I cannot fix everyone and everything and I have to be okay with it. I do know, the lessons I've learned in these past 2 years have not been all bad. 

I've learned to stand alone and be okay with it. I've learned the energy I produce will be the energy I get back. I've learned that no matter what in the end, I have to be okay and happy with me 1st before I can help anyone else experience happiness.. 

They say when a woman is quiet you should be worried.. I've learned that it's better to be quiet than to be a babbling fool.. Everyday my son reminds me, " Mommy be calm, it's ok" and for once I embraced and welcomed the "Ok".. 

Signed, 

Just another Lesson 

Small Reminders, yield Big Results...

You ever have that moment where, you feel something is changing but you can't quite put your finger on?! The feeling isn't scaring you but it's making you more aware? 

Yup, this is what I've been feeling lately.. I know that whatever it is, is way bigger than me though. I talk to my mom every single day. And although I won't always say it but I learn so much from my Netta Girl. I find strength and courage in her. Most times, our conversations are me venting about my everyday life. But this morning she encouraged me. 

She reminded me that I'm more than my Nanny/Sitter Service. She reminded me that it's okay to pick back up some of my talents because I have many.. Her: "did you forget you have one of the most amazing soprano voices around? ( but Ma, singing is NOT my thing anymore) Did you forget, you know God's word and you were one year away from completing Bible School?( yes Ma, I know God's word)  Cheneka, I watch and I marvel at how well you deal with your clients, they dump a lot on you and you just smile and help them get through it"..( well ma, I'm the only outlet some of these women have, in my heart I know I'm called to be a Women's Life Coach).  

Sometimes, we need reminders. They give us a different outlook and a better prospective. I was reminded that, although our physical path takes us many places, it will always lead back to our spiritual being. In all things, we will hear and find God talking to us. 

Lately, I've been blessed to be in a position to help a few sister girls emotionally( tapping into that Life Cosch gift). At first I was like, "Ok, why me"? And the small voice reminded me, " why not, you're fully equipped for this"... 

Today my loves, remember you're MORE than what the world sees. I challenge you to tap into your true being. Tap into who and what you were created to do. We all have different lives but if we all share just a piece, it could change the lives of others.. I share because I care.. 

Signed, 

My Journey is becoming clearer #Focused

Simple Reminders..

I'm not perfect but I Love God. I make mistakes, I stumble but I always get back up and try it again.. 

Today is only Monday but my FAITH and PRAYER life have been tested. Sometimes, God will use situations to position us. 

I was positioned yesterday.. I prayed yesterday and I cried yesterday. 

Today I woke up, still feeling God's presence. I was a bit quieter than normal ( wasn't extremely social) and I just spent time listening... 

Then it happened, a sistergirl reached out and the tears fell. It was such an unexpected text but it warned my heart. 

My Lovies, I challenge you to trust the process. Trust change, trust moves, trust tears, trust frustrations because it's the beginning of the making of you. And when you least expect it, God will remind you, "You're right where I would have you to be to Change the World"...

Let your light speak for you, be okay with your mistakes and trust that someone is watching and learning.. 

Signed, 

I've learned A lot but I PRAY more! 

Music with Meaning....

There's nothing greater than seeing thousands of people getting together to enjoy great music. As my Dora and I arrived to the Amphitheater, we saw tons of people bringing in their coolers, lawn chairs and comfortably dressed to enjoy the Silk, 112 and Jagged Edge Concert. 

Im not big on outdoor concerts( although I do attend them) but this one was quite dope I must say. We arrived in our VIP area and instantly began to mingle ( I mean we ARE the founders of Women Who Network, that's what we do). We enjoyed a few glasses of nicely chilled wine, the pre-show( ok, here's my truth, the first act was Pastor Troy. While in the salon a few years back, my stylist was talking about Pastor Troy. I naively asked, "Where's his church".. She responded, " Neka, he's a rapper". We laughed for hours! Lol), a McDonald's contest and then the show began. 

The first group Silk, was not a fave growing up but a was able to Rock to a few of their songs.. 

My all time fave guy group( aside from New Edition, Jodeci, BBD &New Kids on the Block to name a few) 112 was the second act.. I was in absolute heaven. Hearing them live took me back to high school and my early 20s. Certain songs,( Peaches & Cream, Cupid, You Already Know, I can't Believe) I remembered exactly where I was and what was going on in my life. Music of the 90's had meaning. When you dated, it meant something. If you questioned your relationships and your boyfriend, the right song made it ok.. Gosh I love 112. The kicker though, I grew up listening to them but we're all the same age. Lol

Lastly was Jagged Edge. Another fave. My sister always reminded me how much my daughter's father looked like Brandon. My all time fave song will always be, " I Promise".. Their songs also remind me of certain events of my young adult life. 

Well Atlanta, thanks for a great night of music with some of the most vocally blessed men of the world.. A great night, not a dime spent ( thanks Sandy) and videos that will last as long as I have this iPhone 6.. 

My loves, I challenge you to play some good music and let it take you away.. I'm pulling out some of my 112 and Jagged Edge today and I'm going to dance and sing my life away!! 

Signed, 

Music is Life 

Bright Light....

I remember being at a point in life where I was over everything... Failed relationships, failed friendships, family issues, job related issues.. I was absolutely over it ALL. If you were on the outside looking it, it seemed quite together.. 

Crumbled... 

However, there was this little bitty light in me that would not go out. I found the strength to keep pushing. I found the strength to pick up those crumbled pieces, figure out how and where they fit and try it again. 

When there's a force bigger than you living on the inside, there's no way you can give up. It's easy to wallow in hurt and sadness. But the real test comes when you're able to shine Bright through it all. 

Today my loves, I challenge you to live a life where your positive light speaks for you. Allow your light to speak when you walk into a room full of doubters. Allow your light to be someone else's sunshine. Allow your light to shine and give others hope. We're only as bright on the outside as the light we carry within... Today, I will shine. I will attract what I put out: Love & Positive vibes.. 

Signed, 

I shine Bright like a Diamond!! #believeThat