An Equal Opportunity...

I recently experienced a 3 week journey, #21days that left me feeling:
Refreshed
Renewed
Refocused
and Rebuilt.
Have you ever experienced something that, although it was difficult some days, it left you appreciative at the end?
I'm learning and still growing. At 33, I know more than I did at 30 but not enough to say I know it all. I've learned enough to know that, my source of strength come from being tapped into a God that knows me better than I know me and who only wants me to succeed. I thought that, once I got to Atlanta, my journey would be complete and I would walk directly into GREATNESS. Don't misunderstand me, I have walked into better( got connected to an AWESOME church The dReam Center Church of Atlanta and AWESOME Pastors William and Danielle Murphy), which has turned into great but it's still not my GREATEST just yet. A three year process, that has taught me, that the 1st 3 quarters, you loose some and you win some but oh the 4th quarter( September 2 Remember), you take it all or go home.. And I've been taking it all. When situations are not working in your favor, YOU have the right to change the atmosphere and demand a shift on your behalf...

But, in the process, learn how to just SHUT UP... YES, we all have the right to share but when our sharing turns into other's way of belittling and laughing then it's no longer an equal opportunity for equal support..... We can't take everyone on the journey, we have to leave some people behind so when the empire is built, we can come back and get them.

I've grown to appreciate a few women placed in my circle. They each bring life to me but in a different way. I have 2 that I must talk to daily and I have others who I call on just when I need them the most!!!
While many have been placed to see what they can get from me, there are a few who really want to grow and mature with me.
If you surround yourself with sisters who think like you, there will be NO big I's and small you's...

There's equality for all. So, if you're crazy, find you some crazy"Certifiable" friends, if you're business minded search out business owners and if your road is leading you to go back to school, then register. We cannot always blame others for our failure and losses. You can only Blame you.
I have a 5 year plan that I will execute with or without someone pushing me. My #21 days has taught me that, God responds to the cry of the Worshipper and Grace and Favor are for me. There's Power in my voice and when I ask know that, God has enough equality to give to each of us... While man tries to validate, I look to GOD because the final YES and REWARD lies in HIM....

So, Baaaaay Bayyyyyyyy, know and understand I'm out here to Win It!!!

Signed,
2far2quit

Politically Correct... ( A Moment of Truth)

  Sometimes, when I sit and think of things I've done and said as a while growing up and coming into my own; I can truly say I was mean ole chick!!
 This morning, as the Partners of my church were gathered on the line for our morning prayer call, my Pastor made a comment that kinda caught me( and I'm sure many others) off guard..

After he said it, I sat and thought about it and I agreed with him.
God, I AM thankful I woke up in my right mind
God, I AM thankful I was able to blink my eyes, move my hands and feet without assistance
God, I AM thankful I can read, write and express myself based on what and how I feel, NOT what's programmed in me
God, TODAY I AM Thankful just for life and the option to move at my own speed

When I heard the terms "slow" and "retarded" growing up, I instantly thought of the kids who rode the short yellow buses, with helmets and drooled( don't judge me) but today, after my Pastor put it into a different perspective, I realized life has paralyzed many of us, leaving us in slow and retarded states.

We are "slow" to respond when God is speaking to us and we're "retarded" because our actions are and have become delayed. I must admit, I have had slow moments in life. And it's not because I was born that way, it was just my way of thinking at that moment.

 Let's take it a bit further, our responses to life in general with all of it's challenges, ups and downs have left us in "slow" and "retarded" non-responsive states. Our reactions to someone mistreating us, taking advantage or even  belittling us has left us numb and even slow. Slow to respond and delayed with a response. Hmmmmm, how many time have you stood and not responded??

While, it's politically correct not to use offensive words, sometimes the politically correct term has more than one use.
I will NEVER purposely call anyone out of their name or make fun of them, however if a word has two meaning it's POLITICALLY correct to use it, I will!!

17 years ago, we used the term slow alot. 16 years later, I refuse to act in a slow state. There is always that person who is mean and hurtful waiting to catch you on your off day and call you out of your name because  there's just mean spirited people in the world.. Don't fall victim!!

Signed,
I'm Refocused
Refreshed
Renewed and Rebuilding Daily~~

Reliving the memories of Disney on Ice....

 Being an only girl, attending Disney On Ice was hit or miss. Yeah, I was the unluckiest little girl with no girls in my household( my sisters lived with my father and their mother). Occasionally, I'd get to go with my sisters or an Aunt who was taking her daughters.

Don't get me wrong, we attended the Ringling Bros Barnum & Bailey Circus regularly but for my Mom to actually say, "We're going to Disney on Ice" with my 3 rough brothers in tow was a No No!! lol

Once, I began my career as a City of Boston Youth Worker and the free tix started coming in, I could easily find at least 6 youth or more interested in going. I remember our very 1st experience where 4 boys went with us. It was their very 1st time leaving out of the hood of Jamaica Plain, Ma to experience Disney on Ice. I remember the looks and admiration upon their faces. At the end of the event, as we prepared to head back they said, "Neka if you get more tix please include us". Two of them were murdered before we could experience it again as a group( and before I relocated to Georgia).

Li&Disney on Ice 11'

While working with the youth, I became 1st time mommy to a little girl and my dreams of attending Disney on Ice became a reality. From the time she was 9months up until just last year, we attended EVERY Disney on Ice event. I still have her very 1st Disney on Ice admittance tix( I know, semi collector of things with meaning to ME)... No judgement please!!!

I'm excited about the upcoming Disney on Ice experience. I'm already making preparations with an evening sitter( most likely the Mr) for my son because this is the type of event I like to experience with just my daughter( I love my son and he's tons of fun, he just hasn't mastered sitting still. Yes, he's only 1). I'm ready to purchase a snow cone, a souvenir booklet and maybe something small for the boy, just because!

We LOVE Disney on Ice~~ Hurry October!!!!

Parents Mess Up 2

Recently, my daughter made the dance team at her school.. I'm not going to lie, I was a bit amazed that she made the team.

She's a lot like me and that includes not having rhythm like ME!!! Lol I mean, I've never been big on dancing, I grew up as a church girl and when I did go out or party I kept it simple... The basic moves that allowed me to look cute and hip. To my amazement, my family was yet surprised, when I too made the cheer leading team in high school.

Aha, I just passed those same reaction on to my child... WOW!!

Wednesday, the Rubies ( her dance team) had their very First performance at the local Whole Foods as a fundraiser for their school.

One of my clients who has stepped into the role as her Big Sister, attended the event with her as I was still working.  While Li was home preparing for the event, I told her( as I do daily) to focus and have fun. She got dressed, I combed her hair and she was off!!

As they prepared to dance, her Big Sis sent me a number of pics and she sent 2 videos of the performance!! I sat there and smiled and watched the video over and over again... My baby girl did that performance!!! My heart was on a 15!! Hype I tell ya!!

Li arrived back home with her big sis and I gave her the biggest hug and kiss!! And that moment was ruined when her sis said I sent you a text... I read it and my eyes swelled with water and my heart sank. She asked her why wasn't she happy about dancing and my daughter responded, " My mom is always saying I have no rhythm and it makes me sad".... Slice, right across my heart!! Dang, I just passed my own negative experiences to my daughter.. Dang that stung.. It was in that moment I realized I gotta do better and I cannot belittle anything she enjoys bc it wasn't embraced for me..

Parenting is challenging. Some days are good, some are bad but in order for our children to excel we have to speak the truth with LOVE and Support them even when it looks dim.

I hugged my baby girl and apologized. I reminded her that I love her and I'm proud of her. I also told her to continue dancing( oh she's a local cheerleader too) bc it makes her HAPPY..

Signed,
I made a Mistake as a Mom and said Sorry!

Heather my New mommy friend...: A Survivor...

 When I typically hear the word Cancer, I think of Lung Cancer, Breast Cancer, Throat Cancer, Remission, Pink Ribbons, Chemotherapy, losing hair, losing weight and the ultimate.. DEATH.

 I've seen the St. Jude commercials for young children who are fighting to live, I've supported The Susan G. Komen efforts, my Aunts have fought breast cancer and Won, my daughter's bus driver has started treatment and even I have fought thru what my Doctor, thought was the onset of it developing in my hand. But
never have I had the opportunity to actual read and listen to someone's story until my blog opened up communication between Heather Von St. James and I. After the initial email between Heather and I, I began to read her blog and find out about more about her.
 She's wife to Cameron and Mommy to Lily Rose her only child). Lily Rose is a quirky little girl and she's EVERYTHING to Heather.

She grew up in South Dakota and was a daddy's girl. Her father was a construction worker and when he came home with the white powdery substances on his boots/clothes nobody ever thought anything about it. In 2005, shortly after giving birth to Lily, she began to experience problems with breathing and carried an alarmingly high fever. Later, test showed she had a serious form of Mesothelioma, Asbestos Cancer which was rarely seen in someone her age.

As she and I communicated, she said her biggest worry and concern was, who would care for Lily if she were not there? After talking to some of the best Dr's in the world at Brigham and Women's Hospital, she and her husband traveled to Boston( My hometown) to began the process to remove the bad lung.

I wasn't sure what Heather really wanted from me upon our first initial encounter but as I read more it became clear.. Share with my audience.

I always say, my writing is therapeutic but in this case, I was a vessel used to share awareness. Please click on the link to read more about Heather and find out ways you too can support her and her cause.

http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/heather/

Heather, Thank YOU for reaching out to me. After reading your story, I'm a bit more familiar with this form of cancer as well. Being a voice and supporting others is part of our life's mission. I'm glad I was able to do my part on today~~

You can follow Heather on twitter @heathervsj

The Unlikeliest WAYS.....

 I'm a writer. It's a passion of mine. I can sit and write for days, as long as the mood is there and my hand is hot( a phrase that means so many things in my life). As I reflect on my last few entries, I've talked about a number of things. And with my blogs, I've received quite a few responses from people I know and random readers.

 To my surprise, my last entry received a simple, Hey Can you contact me about your blog, followed by in email in my comment section. First thing I did, was become defensive. In a matter of minutes I go from, I hope this isn't an anti-discipline demonstrator reaching out to me to; I swear I just write what I feel and  people can agree or disagree but don't bring the drama to me( yeah Cheneka was about to surface but I quickly spoke to her and said, Peace be still girl)~~~ LOL

I don't think I responded right away because I wanted to approach the situation delicately. I mean, I totally disregarded the fact that it could've been a parent just reaching out to me for moral support and advice( isn't it awful that most of us tend to expect the worse than looking on the bright side).
 I finally composed my email and added this disclaimer, "I write what I feel and you have the right to disagree or agree".  I never expected this....

Hi Neka! Thanks for the reply! The reason I have reached out to you is because of your blog! I am 43 and a mother to a quirky little 7 year old, Lily. She is my only child, and my whole world. When Lily was just 3 1/2 months old, I was diagnosed with Mesothelioma; a type of cancer that kills 90-95% of those who have it. As I’m sure you can imagine, the first thing that came to mind when I was diagnosed was my baby girl and how I wasn’t going to be able to watch her grow up.

After intense treatment and recovery, I’m still here 6 1/2 years later and cancer free! My journey with cancer was a terrifying one and I'd like to turn my pain into purpose and become someone that other people can look to for guidance, inspiration, and hope in situations like my own. I contacted you because I feel that your blog would be an excellent place for me to share my story. I realize that you may be thinking my story is not exactly a perfect fit for your blog audience, but I’m trying to raise awareness of this horrible little known cancer that is such a deadly killer (and sadly, 100% preventable) 

WOW, wasn't expecting that.. With life, the kids, my business and other obligations I haven't had time to breath.. But, I made a commitment to myself to write more. Why not let my first blog in weeks be about something of importance? My blog audience, I'd like to introduce you to Heather and Lily

Please check back on tomorrow and journey with me to share Heather's story.  Just my luck, a blog about discipline opened my eyes to a Mother who understands the struggle, who has suffered and WON.. And with all she's faced, still has the time to raise a child, who will be a wonderful addition to the world and NOT a Spawn of Chuckie!!! (LOL, no pun intended)

My buddy Heather, tomorrow will be your day to shine unless one of these Spawns of ChUckie tie me up.... NOT~~

Signed~

I met a friend....